by Marie Force
He’d long ago accepted that she was a part of his DNA. She owned his heart, even if she didn’t know it. That didn’t mean his life was meaningless. Quite the opposite. He had great friends, owned a thriving, successful business that he loved and had no shortage of women willing to warm his bed on cold New England nights.
No, loving Janey McCarthy hadn’t ruined his life. At least not yet. But now. . . Now that she’d been here, in the house he’d built with his own hands. . . Joe rested an arm over his eyes, wishing he could hide from the myriad emotions storming around inside him. Everything he’d ever wanted was asleep in his bed. And he was out here, one room away but light years from what he most desired.
Against all odds, Joe dozed off and woke much later to the sound of wrenching sobs. He was up and off the sofa before he was fully awake. In the bedroom, he found her curled into the fetal position, crying her heart out.
If he’d taken the time to shake off the sleep stupor, he might’ve contemplated the implications of crawling into bed with her wearing only thin boxers. He might’ve stopped himself from easing her into his embrace and cushioning her head on his chest. He probably would’ve seen the error of his ways before she curled around him and held on for dear life. In his right mind, he would’ve examined the consequences in time to stop himself from acting so impulsively. But by the time he finally got a clue, it was far, far too late.
Janey McCarthy was in his bed and in his arms, and Joe Cantrell was ruined. Completely and utterly ruined.
Janey couldn’t remember a time when she needed anything more than the sweet comfort of Joe’s love wrapped tight around her. Somewhere deep down inside, in a place she rarely ventured, she had suspected he cared for her as more than his best friend’s bratty little sister.
When she’d been blissfully happy as David’s girlfriend and then fiancée, it hadn’t occurred to her to delve too deeply into the heated looks she sometimes received from Joe or the odd vibe she’d experienced whenever they were together over the last few years.
In fact, more than once she’d been almost frightened by the intensity of what she felt coming from him, so she’d done what any loyal, faithful fiancée would do and acted like it didn’t exist. Just yesterday, when she’d thought her life was set and her future secure, she wouldn’t have dreamed of entertaining thoughts about her brother’s sexy best friend.
But as he held her close to him, she was suddenly and acutely aware of not Joe, her friend, but Joe, the man. Had she ever noticed he was ripped with muscles? Or that he smelled so amazing? Right now, he wasn’t her brother’s friend or her longtime friend. No, right now he was here, he was warm, and she had no doubt, no doubt whatsoever, that he loved her.
“Joe.”
“I’m here, honey.” He tightened his hold on her, while under her ear, his heart pounded out a rapid beat. “I’m right here.”
She drank in his clean fresh scent as well as the lingering spice of his beloved clove cigarettes and salty sea air. In her current state, it wasn’t fair, she knew, to take advantage of him and all he felt for her. It wasn’t fair to manipulate his care and concern, to turn it into something bigger than either of them could handle just then. She knew all that, but knowing didn’t stop her hand from setting out to learn the curves and planes of his muscular chest.
He sucked in a sharp deep breath. “Janey.” His hand on top of hers ended the exploration.
“I can’t bear it,” she whispered as new tears filled her eyes. “I can’t.”
“I know.” He caressed her hair and massaged her shoulders. “It’ll take time, but you’ll get past it. I promise.”
“I need to feel something else.” Since he had a firm grip on her roving hand, she turned her face into his chest and nuzzled the soft blond hair.
As if an electrical current had hit him, he stiffened. “What’re you doing?”
“Make me feel something other than devastated, Joe.”
He tried to get up, but she stopped him.
His hazel eyes found hers in the moonlight that seeped in through the open blinds. “You have no idea what you’re asking of me. No idea.”
“I’m asking someone who loves me and who I love to hold me and love me and make this awful, unbearable pain go away.”
He shook his head. “I can’t, Janey. I just can’t.”
“Joe.” Her lips found his, her hand sank into his thick sandy hair, her fingers caressed his scalp, and he trembled. “I need you. Don’t say no. Please don’t say no.”
His hands framed her face as he drew back from her. “You can’t ask me for this, Janey. I’ll get you anything else you need, but not this.”
“No one else could give me this.” She caressed his chest and belly, his rippling muscles responding to her touch even as he continued to resist. Emboldened, she rose up to shift on top of him. The press of his erection against her belly told her his body was with her even if the rest of him wasn’t.
His hands traveled over her back and stopped at the waistband to her shorts. He studied her as if he was making some sort of decision.
“We can’t, honey,” he said softly. “It’s not going to make anything better. It’ll only make everything worse.”
“No. It won’t.”
“You’re using me to get back at him. Evening the score won’t make you feel any less devastated.”
She shook her head and slid her lips back and forth over his. “I’m not thinking about him right now. I’m thinking about you, and I already feel better.” Straddling him, she sat up and reached for the hem of her shirt.
He stopped her. “You’ll hate yourself in the morning. And worse yet, you’ll hate me.”
“I could never, ever hate you.”
“You don’t think so now. . .”
“I know so.”
She tugged her fingers free of his grip and pulled the top over her head.
Joe’s eyes flared with heat and desire at the sight of her lacy bra. His fingers dug into her hips.
“Take it off me.” She rolled her hips, pressing her heat against his steely length.
“Janey. . .” He groaned and fumbled with the hooks.
Watching him react to her, Janey had a moment of hesitation. After all, she’d never done this with anyone but David. But he was gone now, dead to her in every way that mattered. Since she had no choice but to go on without him, she may as well get started on the rest of her life.
With her eyes fixed on Joe’s handsome, familiar face, she slid down and took his boxers with her.
Chapter 3
With every fiber of his being, Joe knew this was wrong. Well, one part of his being wasn’t listening to the rest, but he’d never been one to think with that part of his anatomy.
Until now.
Janey McCarthy was naked in his arms, and nothing in his wildest fantasies—and his Janey fantasies were quite something—had come even remotely close to the reality. Her hands and lips devoured him, rendering him helpless to deny her, even though he had no doubt he’d regret this. She claimed she wouldn’t have regrets. He didn’t believe that, either.
Despite the whir of thoughts and doubts and emotions, her lips on his belly required his undivided attention. Soft strands of silky hair tickled and tempted. Then she dragged her fingernails over his inner thigh, and his cock jerked. Before he’d recovered from that heart-stopping move, she took him into the heat of her mouth, and Joe felt like a virgin who was experiencing this particular act for the first time.
He buried his fingers in her hair and tried to hold back, tried to summon some semblance of self-control. As if they had a mind of their own, his hips surged, and she took him deeper. And then he was coming harder than he ever had before. In the aftermath, he couldn’t seem to catch his breath or find his equilibrium. With his fingers still buried in her hair, he guided her up to his chest.
Once there, her lips kept up the teasing and tormenting. When the tip of her tongue connected with his nipple, Joe grasped her hips and turned the
m so he was on top. He told his conscience to shut up and let him enjoy what was a dream come true, even if it wasn’t happening the way he would’ve preferred. It was happening, and he could either let guilt ruin it or he could make sure she’d never forget the night she spent in his arms.
While Option A was without a doubt the wiser of the two choices, Joe chose Option B. As he cupped her sweet breast and sucked her nipple into his mouth, he set out to make sure that she’d remember him—she’d remember this—for the rest of her life. Years of loving her from a distance, of thinking about what he’d do if he had just one night with her, had left him well prepared to satisfy her every desire.
He left hot wet kisses on her belly and nibbled on both hipbones, which drew soft gasps from her. Settling between her slender thighs, Joe blew on the small thatch of blonde hair that covered her. Her hips lifted and her thighs fell open. His finger traced a line over the damp seam until he was inside. He dipped his head and added his tongue at the same instant he slid a finger into her moist heat.
“Joe!” She pushed at him and tried to pull back.
“Shhh, honey.”
“I’ve never. . .” Her voice hitched on what sounded like a sob. “Not like that. . .”
“You’ve never been loved like this, sweetheart?”
Eyes wide, she shook her head. “He didn’t like it.”
Joe closed his eyes and took a moment to absorb yet another burst of anger directed at David Lawrence. That selfish, arrogant bastard! However, good old David had once again made things easier for Joe. He had no doubt she’d remember this. Mindful of her hesitance, he started all over again with kisses to her calf, the inside of her knee and the silky softness of her inner thigh. By then, she was trembling uncontrollably.
“Relax, honey,” he whispered. With his free hand on her belly, he urged her to stay still. “Just try to relax. I promise you’ll like it.”
He added a second finger to the one sliding in and out of her.
Janey moaned and lifted her hips to meet the thrusts of his fingers and tongue.
Her quivering thighs told him she was close, so he rolled the heart of her desire between his lips and sucked.
She came instantly, her muscles clenching tight around his fingers.
Joe couldn’t wait another second to be inside her. “Are you protected, sweetheart?”
Still gasping, she nodded. “I’m on the pill.”
He raised her leg over his hip and entered her slowly, giving her time to accommodate him.
Her expression held such awe and wonder that if he didn’t already love her with his whole heart, he would’ve fallen for her right then and there.
He flexed his hips, seating himself to the hilt.
Janey cried out and gripped his backside, holding him there as she came again.
Joe gritted his teeth, holding off as he rode the storm of her orgasm. God, she was so hot and so responsive. “More.”
Her eyes flew open and met his. “I can’t.”
Bending his head, he captured her nipple between his teeth and pumped into her, determined to prove her wrong. He kissed his way to her mouth, his tongue mimicking the in and out action of his hips.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and met the thrusts of his tongue with soft caressing strokes of her own that made his head spin.
Joe had never experienced anything even close to this. He’d thought earlier that loving Janey hadn’t ruined his life, but after this. . . God, after this, he’d never be the same. He gave her everything he had, and by the time he brought them both to an explosive, life-changing finish, he was sweating and breathing hard and more in love with her than he’d ever imagined possible.
“Janey. Janey.” He couldn’t stop kissing her, tasting her, loving her. At last, he thought, at long last. “Janey.”
She combed her fingers through his hair, over and over, as if she couldn’t bear to stop touching him, either. A guy could dream.
Trailing kisses from her neck to her jaw to her soft cheek, he encountered dampness that stopped him short. “Are you sad, Janey?”
“No,” she whispered. “That was. . . It was amazing. I didn’t know it could be like that.”
His heart swelled with hope—fragile, but hope nonetheless. “It’s never been like that for me, either.”
She looked up at him, her face open and trusting. “Really?”
“Really,” he said against her kiss-swollen lips. “In fact,” he said, his hips already moving, “I think we need to do it again, just to make sure that wasn’t a one-time moment of magic.”
Janey laughed and ran her hands down his back in encouragement.
Thrilled to have made her laugh after hours of despair, Joe captured her mouth in a searing kiss and made love to her all over again.
Joe woke up facedown alone in bed with the sun streaming in the window. He shifted onto his back, and every muscle in his body protested the movement. If he’d wanted proof he wasn’t as young as he used to be, his body was definitely letting him know he could no longer get away with a nonstop sex fest—not that he’d ever done anything quite like what he’d done with Janey during the night.
The scent of bacon and coffee wafted into the room while Joe stared up at the ceiling, reliving the most exquisite night of his life. He checked his watch. Six thirty. Still looking up at the cathedral ceiling and mesmerized by the movement of the fan, he made a decision and reached for the bedside phone.
“Leroy, it’s Joe.”
“What’s up, captain my captain?”
“Can you take my runs today?”
“Love to.”
Joe smiled. The older man had formally retired several years ago but maintained his license and remained on standby whenever Joe needed coverage. “Thanks, man. You’re saving my life.”
Leroy snickered. “You say that every time.”
“My life is often in jeopardy. I’m on the nine to the island, ten thirty back, then one and two thirty.”
“Got it. No problem.”
Joe heard Janey whistling in the kitchen and hesitated only for a second. “Tomorrow, too?”
“Can do.”
“Thanks, Leroy.”
Joe’s next call was to the office to let them know he was taking two days off. Family emergency, he said and was grateful when they didn’t ask any questions. Since he owned the business, he pretty much did as he pleased but rarely took a day off, especially this time of year when the ferries ran hourly.
He got out of bed, pulled on gym shorts and hit the bathroom to brush his teeth before he joined Janey in the kitchen, expecting this morning after to go one of two ways—major awkwardness or total avoidance. Joe didn’t know which option he most preferred.
“Morning,” he said.
“Oh, hi.” She turned from the stove and greeted him with a shy smile.
Staggered, Joe halted in his tracks and stared at her. She wore an old T-shirt of his that fell to mid-thigh, her hair was in a high ponytail, and her face bore no signs of yesterday’s misery. Rather, he detected a hint of razor burn on her neck and was oddly proud to know he’d left his mark on her. He suspected there were probably others.
“Joe?” She waved a hand in front of his face. “Everything okay?”
Shaking off the wonder that came with finding the woman of his dreams making breakfast in his kitchen, Joe moved to the coffeemaker. Anxious to keep his hands busy so he wouldn’t give in to the urge to reach for her and have her again right there in the kitchen, Joe poured himself a cup of coffee and took the first sip.
She turned up her nose at him. “You take it black?”
“Uh-huh. Always have.”
“Never noticed that before. Kinda gross.”
Was it weird that he knew she took hers with cream and three healthy scoops of sugar? Probably. “I like to taste coffee, not milk and sugar.” He glanced at the pan on the stove. “Whatcha making?”
“Oh, um, omelets. Hope that’s okay.”
“Sure it
is.”
“Joe—”
“Janey—”
Right before his eyes, Janey McCarthy blushed. If you’d asked him this time yesterday if she was capable of blushing, he would’ve scoffed. Seeing her like this, with morning-after shyness tinged with a hint of embarrassment, was almost like meeting her again for the very first time.
“What were you going to say?” he asked.
“I’m sure you’d like me out of your hair—”
“You’re not in my hair.”
“Well, I’m in your kitchen and your. . . bed.” She blushed again, and he marveled at the way color crept from her chest to her neck and cheeks. Amazing.
Joe put down the mug and took a step closer to her. “I like having you in my kitchen.” He brushed a kiss over lips still swollen from a night of passion. “And my bed.” His hands found her hips and brought her in tight against his instant arousal. “Particularly in my bed.”
She looked up at him, her pale blue eyes wide and astounded—or so it seemed to him. “What were you going to say? Before?”
“That you’re beautiful in the morning.”
“Oh.”
He smiled. How could he not? She was so damned cute, and he loved her so damned much. He wished he could tell her. . .
“Don’t you have to get to work?”
“I took the day off.”
Her eyes got even wider. “You did?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Can you do that during the busy season?”
He shrugged. “No biggie.”
“Yes, I’m sure it is. Did you do that for me?”
“The truth?”
She nodded, and her hands skimming over his chest took his breath away.
“I did it for me.” He kissed her forehead, nose and lips. “So I could spend more time with you.”
“Joe,” she said, “I’ve put you in an awful position.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “I kinda liked the positions you put me in.”
Janey giggled and nuzzled his chest. “You know what I mean.”
“When are you due back to work?” he asked.