by Marie Force
“Yeah. Until now.”
Joe breathed her in, steeped in the peace that came over him whenever he held her this way. “You’re tired.”
“Exhausted.”
“Want me to walk you home?”
She drew back to look up at him. “Do you know what I’d really like?”
“What’s that?”
“To sleep curled up next to you. I don’t know what’s going to happen with us, Joe. All I know is I feel better when I’m with you than I do when I’m not.”
His throat tightened with emotion at her softly spoken words. “That’s a good place to start.”
“So it’s okay if I stay?”
He took her hand and led her to his bed. Sitting on the edge, he arranged her so she stood between his legs as he undressed her and helped her into one of his T-shirts. When she was settled into bed, he stripped down to boxers and joined her. Sure enough, she curled up to him, her face pressed to his chest, her hand resting on his belly and her leg between his. He tried to tell himself that tonight was all about peace and comfort, but as usual when she was around, certain parts of his anatomy had other ideas.
“This is what I needed,” she whispered.
He tightened his hold on her. “Me, too.”
“Were you upset earlier?”
“A little bit.”
“Just a little?”
“Okay, a lot.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said, sprinkling kisses on his chest that intensified the problem brewing in his lap. “I would never intentionally hurt you.”
His fingers tunneled into her thick hair. “I know that.”
She kissed her way to his neck and jaw.
“I thought you wanted to sleep.”
“I do. Eventually.”
“Janey—”
She cut him off by pressing her lips to his in a chaste kiss. Somehow she ended up stretched out on top of him with his erection pulsing between them. “I keep telling myself that I need to leave you alone until I figure things out, but I can’t seem to stay away.”
“You don’t hear me complaining.”
She gazed down at him, and his heart ached with longing. He wanted her to be his. He wanted all their issues worked out and the future clear before them.
“I know the roller coaster ride is tough on you,” she said.
“It was tougher watching you with someone who didn’t deserve you.” He cupped her cheek and guided her back to him for more of those sweet kisses. “That was unbearable.”
She kept her kisses chaste, as if she intended to torment him.
Joe groaned and tightened his hold on her hair, to keep her where he wanted her. “You’re being mean.”
“I’m very, very sorry.”
“You are so not sorry.”
Janey laughed, and he released her hair to comb his fingers through it.
“I know we’re not talking about the future or even tomorrow, but I want you to know that I really, really love you, Janey.” The minute the words were out of his mouth, Joe regretted them, because her smile faded and the playfulness was gone. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s okay.”
He linked their hands and brought them to his chest. “You’re not ready to talk about serious stuff.”
“I love you, Joe. You have to know that.”
“Sure. I know.” Joe released her hands, helped her off him and sat up.
From behind him, Janey looped her arms around his shoulders and kissed his neck. “Then what’s wrong?”
“I don’t want you to love me, Janey. I want you to love me love me.”
“I just need some more time.”
“Maybe we should take a break until you’re ready.” The hand that had been caressing his chest went still.
“Is that what you want?”
“No, but it may be what I need.”
“Oh. Okay. If that’s how you feel.” Janey got up and reached for her dress.
As he watched her take off the T-shirt he had loaned her, he called himself fifty different names for being so damned stupid. He started to tell her to stop, that he didn’t want her to go, but the words wouldn’t come.
She finished getting dressed and slid her slender feet into sexy silver sandals.
What are you doing? You’re really going to let her leave? Are you out of your mind? “Wait. Janey. Wait.”
On the way to the door, she turned back to him.
He got up and went to her. “I don’t want you to go.”
“But I probably should. I don’t want to hurt you, Joe.”
He took her hands. “Is it at all possible that down the road, at some point, you might maybe love me love me?”
“Yes!” She laughed and threw her arms around him. “Yes, yes, yes.”
Smiling, Joe lifted her off her feet. “I hate when you mince words that way.”
She let her head fall back, laughter gripping her.
He took advantage of the opportunity to nibble on her exposed neck. “Can you give me an idea of how far down the road we’re talking?”
Her fingers sifted through his hair, her eyes alight with amusement. “A block, maybe two.”
“Wow. That close, huh?”
“Yep.”
Setting her down, he kept his hands on her shoulders. “If we’re that close to our destination, perhaps we should hold off on any more. . . how should I say this. . .”
“Hot sex?”
Just hearing her say the words made him want it. He swallowed hard. “As much as it pains me to even suggest it, maybe we should wait until we arrive?”
“That’s probably not a bad idea.”
“It’s a truly terrible idea. Forget I ever said it. Let’s go back to bed.”
Still laughing, Janey resisted his efforts to drag her to bed. “You wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t think it was sort of a good idea.”
“You’re not going to forget this, are you?”
“Nope.”
“And you won’t have sex with me? Really?”
“Not until I’m very, very sure that I’m in love with you.”
“But you’re taking away one of my best weapons to make you fall in love with me!”
“I said we couldn’t have sex.” She pushed him onto the bed and straddled his lap. “I didn’t say we couldn’t do other stuff.”
“What other stuff?” Intrigued, Joe ran his hands up her legs, pushing her skirt up as he went.
“Well, there’s kissing,” she said, pressing soft kisses to his face that made his heart race. “And touching.” She massaged his shoulders and chest.
Joe closed his eyes as he realized it was possible that not having sex with her could be even more exciting than having sex. “What else?”
“Cuddling, snuggling, talking. Dating—like normal people.”
“You want to date.”
Her fingers danced over his skin, giving him goose bumps—among other things. “Do you have a problem with that?”
“No, no problem. So let me get this straight. After we’ve done, well, everything, you want to go back to holding hands?”
She reached for his hand and brought it to her lips, pressing a kiss to his palm. “I love to hold hands. Don’t you?”
“All depends on whose hand I’m holding.”
“What do you think of mine?”
He loved this coy Janey, who was having so much fun playing with him. “Your hand,” he said, nibbling on her fingers, “is my most favorite.”
A smile lit up her face. “Wanna make out?”
“We’re really going on a sex diet?”
“Yep.”
“In that case, I’d love to make out.”
Joe walked Janey home the next morning and headed to the South Harbor Diner where he met Mac and Thomas for coffee just about every morning he was on the island. Joe told himself it didn’t mean anything that Mac didn’t show. Perhaps he’d decided to sleep in or to make it an early morning at the marina. As Joe b
ought coffee and a blueberry muffin, he figured if Mac was still mad with him, he’d find out soon enough.
Feeling the first sting of coffee against his abused lips brought back memories of the night before. Making out with Janey for hours had turned out to be among the most exciting and frustrating experiences of his entire life. After having all of her, it was damned hard to settle for less. She’d allowed second base but nothing more, and Joe had gone nearly out of his mind with wanting her. In fact, long after she had fallen asleep in his arms, he’d lain awake vibrating with desire and dissatisfaction.
Janey had to work most of the day, and he had to take care of the final details for Mac’s bachelor party that night, not knowing if the groom-to-be was even talking to him. “Fabulous,” Joe muttered to himself as he left cash on the table and got up to leave the diner. With the bachelor party tonight and the bridal shower tomorrow, Joe didn’t expect to see Janey again before tomorrow night at the earliest. Another reason to be in a foul mood.
How was he supposed to make her fall in love with him when they couldn’t spend much time together? Just as he had that thought, he passed the florist shop. A bright yellow arrangement caught his eye. The sunny colors reminded him of Janey as he pushed open the door and stepped inside. Ten minutes later, he had arranged for delivery of the yellow bouquet to the vet clinic and was laboring over what to write on the card.
When the phone rang, the nosy florist left him to go answer it. Joe stared at the card. What to say? He chewed on the end of the pen for another minute, until he heard the florist wrapping up her call. He wrote quickly: “Pick you up at 8 tomorrow night. Wear something sexy. Love, Joe.” By the time the florist returned, he had sealed the note into the tiny envelope. “That’ll do it.” He figured the news would be all over the island within an hour that Joe Cantrell had sent flowers to Janey McCarthy.
“Very good, Mr. Cantrell. We’ll deliver your order this afternoon.”
“Thanks.” Joe left the shop and whistled all the way to Mario’s. He confirmed the bachelor party food order, which would be delivered to McCarthy’s Marina at seven. Checking his watch, he was surprised to realize he had wasted so much time at the florist. He was captain on the eleven o’clock boat back to the mainland and returning on the two. While he was on the mainland, he had to run home to pick up a suit for tomorrow night.
Approaching the ferry landing, he smiled to himself. “She wants a date? I’ll show her a date.”
Chapter 19
“There has to be something you can do,” Mrs. Roberts said, tears streaming down her wrinkled face as she held the limp and listless Molly to her chest. The seventeen-year-old yellow mutt kept a watchful eye on the people in the room, but raising her head took more energy than she could summon.
“I’m sorry,” Doc Potter said gently, resting a hand on the elderly woman’s shoulder. “I’m afraid her time has come.”
Watching the scene, Janey wiped a tear from her cheek. This was Doc at his very best, and she learned something from him every day she worked for him. She couldn’t begin to imagine Mrs. Roberts’ pain. The idea of losing any of her pets killed her, but at least she had a big, loving family all around her. Mrs. Roberts only had Molly, and she’d resisted their suggestions over the last year that she might want to think about getting another pet so that when Molly’s time came, she wouldn’t be all alone.
“Am I doing the wrong thing?” Mrs. Roberts asked between sobs. “Letting nature take its course?”
“She doesn’t seem to be in any pain,” Doc said.
“What do you think, Janey?” Mrs. Roberts asked.
“I think Molly wants to stay with you as long as she possibly can, but she hopes you’ll know when it’s time to help her along.”
Doc nodded with approval. “That’s right.”
“Okay, then,” Mrs. Roberts said. “That’s what I’ll do.”
“Just keep her comfortable and try to get some liquids into her.” Doc helped the elderly woman up and escorted her to the door. He scratched Molly’s ears and kissed her sweet face. “I can come to the house if need be. You have all my numbers, right?”
“Yes. Thank you both so much. I wouldn’t be able to get through this without you.”
“That’s what we’re here for,” Janey said, feeling bruised and battered by Mrs. Roberts’ terrible grief.
“It’s so sad,” said Lisa, the receptionist, after the door closed behind Mrs. Roberts.
“I can’t stand it,” Janey said. “Seventeen years!”
“Molly doesn’t want to leave her,” Doc said. To Janey, he added, “You said just the right thing in there. Well done.”
“My heart was breaking the whole time.”
“Mine, too,” he said with a frown. His bushy white eyebrows and mustache drooped with sorrow. He took these things hard. They all did. “I hope Molly goes on her own so we don’t have to put her down. I don’t want to have to do that.”
“I hope so, too,” Janey said. “Just the thought of that makes me ill.”
“Something came for you when you were in with Mrs. Roberts, Janey,” Lisa said, smiling. “I put it on your desk.”
“Thanks.” She wandered back to her office and gasped when she saw the huge bouquet of yellow flowers. Even before she found the card in the midst of all the bright blooms, she had broken into a smile. Joe. Tearing the envelope, she read the brief message over and over, her heart fluttering with anticipation. How would she stand to wait until tomorrow night to see him again? If he was out to make her fall in love with him, he was off to a great start. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d received flowers.
“Oh, hey, nice flowers,” Doc said from the hallway.
Janey leaned in to take a deep breath of fragrant lily. She loved picturing Joe going to the florist to buy flowers for her, even if it meant the whole island would know about them by sunset. “Aren’t they?”
“From David?”
Janey held the card against her chest. “Nope.” Doc had always been more like a beloved grandfather than a boss, and he loved to tease her about anything and everything.
“Well, who else would it be?”
Janey was surprised that news of their breakup hadn’t reached him yet. “David and I broke up last week.”
“Oh. Well. Mac said you had a situation, but I didn’t imagine. . . Wow.”
“It’s okay, Doc. It was for the best.”
“You’re handling this quite admirably. Had to be a big disappointment.”
“It was, but I’ve come to realize it was over a long time ago. We just chose not to see it.”
“I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Thanks for all the time off. It really helped.”
“Pshaw,” he said. “It’s been quiet this week with the holiday and all. Besides, you hardly ever take time off.”
Janey tucked the card from Joe into the pocket of her lab coat. “Do you have a minute? There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
“Only if you tell me who sent the flowers,” he said, smiling as he came into her office and shut the door.
“You’ll find out soon enough. Nothing stays a secret for long on this island.” She’d been thinking about the conversation she needed to have with Doc for days, but now that the moment was upon her, she was struck with nerves.
“Is something wrong? Besides the thing with David?”
“Everything’s fine. It’s just that I’ve been, um, thinking. . .”
“About?”
“Vet school.”
His eyes widened. “You don’t say! That’s wonderful news. I’ve been saying for years it was a travesty you didn’t go after college.”
“I know,” she said. “I should have. I see that now.”
“Have you applied?”
“I let Ohio State know I’m interested in taking them up on their six-year-old offer. I haven’t heard back yet.”
“What can I do?”
“Write me a new recommendation?”
“Done.”
“Thank you so much,” she said, relieved.
“You know I’ve been thinking about retiring,” he said tentatively. “But if I thought you’d be ready to go in a couple of years, I’d be willing to wait.”
“Wait? For me?”
“I’d love nothing more than to turn this practice over to you, Janey.”
She sat back in her chair, flabbergasted. “Wow.”
“You’re a natural. You’ll sail through vet school because of what you already know.”
“Thanks to you.”
“And you. You took advantage of every opportunity to learn and grow. I’ll write you the most bang-up recommendation letter they’ve ever gotten.” Full of fire, he got up to leave. “We’ll get you in. Don’t worry. Probably be next year, though.”
“I know,” Janey said. That was a long way off. “You’re the best for being so willing to help.”
Doc flashed an impish grin. “Won’t hurt that I’m also a generous alum,” he said on his way out the door.
He was the reason she’d chosen Ohio State in the first place. She’d worked at the clinic all during high school, first as an unpaid helper and later as the Saturday receptionist. Hearing his stories about the school and the program had made her want to go there, too.
As she gazed at the flowers Joe had sent, she wondered how she’d manage to have the two things she wanted. Her stomach ached when she realized it might come down to a choice. In the past, she’d chosen David over her own dreams. The one thing she knew for certain was she couldn’t do that anymore.
Never again would she put someone else’s dreams ahead of her own.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
Janey looked up to find Mac standing in the doorway. “Oh, hey. What’re you doing here?”
He eyed the flowers on her desk. “Just wanted to see my sister. Is that okay with you?”
“That’s all you want?”
Shutting the door behind him, he dropped into the chair. “Are those from Joe?”
“Maybe.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t want to.”
A flash of hurt crossed his face. “Why?”
“Gee, let’s see. Could it be your propensity to overreact or maybe it’s your tendency to treat me like I’m twelve?”