by Marie Force
She’d been alone a long time after her husband, Pete, died in an accident when Joe was only seven. After the initial shock of losing her husband so suddenly had faded somewhat, she’d settled into a life that was short on excitement but fulfilling nonetheless. She’d had her son, her work, her friends, a home she loved here on the island and another she’d kept for years in Connecticut until she decided to move back to the island permanently.
Everything was fine until he came along and turned her well-ordered life upside down, tempting her with a taste of what might be possible if only she had the courage to take a chance. Instead, she’d freaked out over what people might think and driven him away, probably for good this time.
How many times was he supposed to keep coming back for more of her special brand of punishment? How many times could she hurt him before he stopped wanting her? Before he stopped loving her.
That last thought finally broke her. Tears ran down her face, landing in a puddle on the paper that had been intended for new designs. The pencil landed on the desk as she dropped her face into her hands, letting the despair wash over her.
This whole thing was her fault. She never should have let him tempt her. She’d known from the very beginning that he was too young for her, but that hadn’t stopped her from walking straight into the flame of his love, knowing all the while she would surely get burned. And now that she knew what it was like to be with him, to be loved by him, to be consumed by him, how could she resist the life he offered? How could her mouth continue to say no when her heart and soul said yes, yes, yes?
She couldn’t continue to say no, because living without him now would be impossible. She’d learned to live without Pete because she hadn’t had a choice. Living without Seamus would be her choice, and she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t make that choice and go on with her life as it had been before. That was no longer possible. He’d seen to that with every word, every smile, every gesture, every time he called her “love” and stopped her heart.
Before the thoughts had been fully processed, she was up and moving, reaching for keys like a blind woman in the dark and rushing from the house without her purse or a care to what she must look like after the sleepless night.
Somehow she managed to drive into town without killing herself or anyone else, arriving at the ferry landing and parking outside the office building where he worked when he was on the island. It hadn’t occurred to her that he might not be there, that he might be on the mainland, working in his other office. It hadn’t occurred to her that he might be captaining one of the boats or off getting something to eat. If he wasn’t there, she’d wait for him. He’d come back eventually, and she’d be waiting.
She rushed into his office, stopping short when she saw that he was there but not alone.
When she burst into the room, her son stood—tall, blond, handsome and concerned. “Mom? What is it? What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?”
Carolina, who’d put her son at the center of her life for more than thirty years, looked past him now to the man behind the desk whose small smile told her he knew exactly why she’d come. “I’m fine, honey,” she said haltingly. “I…I need to see Seamus, if that’s all right.” She tore her gaze off Seamus and looked up at Joe. “I’m sorry to interrupt.”
Joe looked at her quizzically. “It’s no problem. We were done. Call me later?”
Nodding absently, Carolina returned her focus to Seamus, who waited patiently, as if he had all the time in the world to hear whatever she’d come to say.
Kissing her on the cheek, Joe stepped around her and left the office, closing the door behind him.
“You’re giving your poor son fits, love.”
That lovely Irish brogue made her heart sing with joy. “I know. I’m a terrible mother.”
Laughing, Seamus came around the desk to embrace her, encouraging her to rest her head on his shoulder. “You’re one of the best mums I know.”
Carolina expelled a great sigh of relief when she realized he wasn’t going to send her away. He wasn’t going to tell her that she’d finally succeeded in changing his mind about her. Rather, he ran a soothing hand up and down her back.
“How’re the hives?”
“Itchy, but the oatmeal helped.”
“I’m a first-class arse for leaving you when you were feeling poorly.”
She looked up at him, her determination fueled by the beauty of his face, the lyrical lilt of his brogue and the love he’d shown her from the start. “And I’m a first-class fool for letting you think I give a rat’s arse about what anyone thinks of us.” His eyes widened at her unusually forceful statement. “I don’t care, Seamus. I don’t care anymore about anything other than being with you. If people don’t get it, I don’t care.”
She had barely finished the statement when he was kissing her madly, deeply, holding her so tightly she could barely breathe.
“Ah, love, Joe’s not the only one you’ve given the fits to,” he whispered against her lips before he went back for more.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, clinging to him. “I never meant to make you wonder if I felt the same way you do.”
“I never wondered about that, love. Not for one second. I worried that you weren’t going to give yourself permission to take what you want, but I never wondered if you loved me as much as I love you.”
“I do. I love you just as much.”
“I know.” He brushed the hair off her face, studying her intently, seeming to take inventory.
Carolina tried not to think about how scary she must look.
“Did you sleep at all?”
She shook her head. “Can’t you tell? You?”
“Not a wink.”
“And strangely you look as good as ever while I’m—”
“Beautiful.”
She snorted with disbelief. “You must be in love.”
“Completely, totally, absolutely and forever in love.”
Was it possible for a grown woman to actually swoon? “Seamus,” she said with a sigh.
He gathered her in close to him, and when she rested her head on his chest, she could hear the steady beat of his heart. “Yes, love?”
“Are you almost done working?”
“I can be.”
“Will you come home with me to stay?”
“There’s nothing I’d rather do.”
Relieved and overwhelmed to have made a decision once and for all, she held on tight to him for a long time before she took his hand and led him from the office.
Joe walked away from the ferry landing, unsettled by the sight of his mother so broken up. Wondering what was transpiring between her and the man Joe had hired to run the ferry business while he was in Ohio, he walked aimlessly without a destination in mind.
It had taken a few days to wrap his head around the idea of his mom with a guy who was only a couple of years older than him. At first, he’d been shocked and slightly outraged to think that maybe Seamus had taken advantage of Carolina’s loneliness to forward his own agenda.
Almost as soon as Joe had that thought, however, he’d been ashamed of it. Seamus had never been anything but upstanding and reliable. He’d made it possible for Joe to be with Janey while she was in vet school without having to worry incessantly about the business his mother’s late parents had left to both of them.
Hands in pockets, head down, Joe nearly collided with someone on the sidewalk. He was muttering an apology when he looked up and realized it was Mac. Joe let out a laugh. “Sorry, man. Not paying attention to where I’m going. What’re you doing in town?”
“Finishing up the gift shop at the Sand & Surf and in need of coffee. Want to join me?”
“I could definitely use more coffee.”
“It’s on me. Let’s go.” On the way through town, Mac said, “Not working today?”
“I had the early run to the mainland. Got another round-tripper at the end of the day.”
They wandered into the South Harbor Diner, l
anding in their usual booth that overlooked the ferry landing and busy downtown. Rebecca, the owner of the diner, greeted them with steaming mugs.
“Nice to see you guys,” she said. “Been a while.”
“Too long,” Mac said with a smile for Joe.
Before Mac and Maddie moved out of her apartment in town, Mac and Joe had met for coffee most mornings when Joe was on the island. But things changed. Time passed. Life got in the way.
“So why were you walking through town with the weight of the world on your shoulders?”
“This thing with my mom and Seamus…”
“Ah, I see. I wondered what you thought of it, but I couldn’t exactly ask you last night in front of them. So you don’t approve?”
“It’s not that. He’s a good guy. He’s been a lifesaver for me since we moved to Ohio. I couldn’t be there without him taking care of things here.”
“But?”
His oldest and best friend knew him as well as anyone, except for maybe Janey. “I worry about her getting hurt.”
“A reasonable concern.”
“She was alone a long time.” Joe took a drink of his coffee, savoring the taste and the aroma as well as the comfort of a lifelong friend who was also now his brother-in-law.
“And she belonged only to you all that time,” Mac said, raising a brow.
“It’s not that.”
“Not even a little bit?”
Joe stared down at his mug. “Maybe a little.”
“You’re not losing her, Joe. You know that.”
“I know, but it’s… It’s weird, I guess, to see her getting involved with someone after all this time. And that he’s basically our age. It’s weird.”
“Probably will be for a while and then, like you being married to my baby sister, you get used to it and it doesn’t seem so weird anymore—well, until my baby sister gets knocked up, and then it’s all kinds of weird again.”
Joe laughed his ass off. Mac had such a way with words. “Let’s hope my fifty-six-year-old mother doesn’t get knocked up.”
“Now that, my friend, would be weird.”
Joe held up his coffee cup in agreement. “I don’t know if I’ve said this out loud or only thought it, but I’m so damned glad you didn’t die last week.”
“Aww, thanks.” Mac blinked back mock tears. “I’m touched. Really.”
“All kidding aside, I have no idea what we would’ve done without one of you, let alone all of you.”
“Believe me, I had a lot of hours in the water to think about where my brothers were and whether they were okay. And to think about Maddie and my kids…” Mac shook his head as if he couldn’t bear to go there.
“Are you okay, Mac?” Joe held up a hand to stop his friend from replying. “I heard what you said last night at dinner, but this is me. You’d tell me if you weren’t really okay, wouldn’t you?”
“Sure, I’d spill my guts all over the table, because that’s how I roll.”
The humor gave Joe hope. The Mac he knew and loved was nothing if not funny. “Fine, be that way. You know where I am if you need me. Let’s leave it at that.”
“Likewise.”
“What’re you guys up to tonight?” Joe asked.
“I’m told there’s a dinner at Ned and Francine’s. With lobsters.”
“Lucky dog.”
“I am lucky. I think about that a lot. What happened last week was a good reminder of how great my life is. I’m trying to stay focused on that and not sweat the small stuff. You might want to try it.”
“That’s not the worst advice you’ve ever given me.”
“On that note,” Mac said, laughing as he tossed a five and a couple of one-dollar bills on the table and got up, “I gotta get back to the hotel before Laura sends out a search party. And I gotta finish this job for her before things get really busy at the marina.”
“Thanks for the coffee.”
“Any time.”
Mac left with a wave for Rebecca and headed back to the Surf. Watching him go, Joe pondered what Mac had said about being lucky and not sweating the small stuff. He thought about calling his mom to make sure she was all right, but Joe felt pretty confident that she was in good hands with Seamus, even if he wasn’t entirely sure what he thought of the two of them together.
Since there wasn’t anything he could do about his mom at the moment, Joe’s thoughts turned to his lovely wife, who was working today at the vet clinic. He got up, intending to head over there to see how her day was going, when his cell phone rang. Surprised to see the vet clinic number on the caller ID when he’d just been thinking about the place, Joe took the call.
“This is Joe.”
“Hi, Joe, it’s Doc Potter. Have I caught you at a bad time?”
When he heard the doctor’s casual tone, Joe released the breath he’d been holding, waiting to hear something was wrong with Janey. “Not at all. What’s up?” He stepped outside, heading in the direction of the clinic.
“It’s about Janey.”
Joe stopped walking. “What about her?”
“Has she seemed a tad bit…down…lately?” When Joe didn’t immediately answer, Doc Potter continued. “She doesn’t seem herself, and I thought perhaps the job might be too much for her, and she doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, so she hasn’t said so. I didn’t want to upset her by asking, so I figured I’d call you.”
“She hasn’t said anything to me about not feeling up to working. In fact, she was excited to get back to work at the clinic, even though I suggested she might want to take it easy this summer.”
“Huh,” Doc said thoughtfully. “She’s definitely not got her usual sparkle.”
Joe felt like a jerk for having to be told that by her boss. “I’ll come by and see if she’s up for a lunch break with her husband.”
“I’m sure she’d enjoy that. I hope I haven’t overstepped by calling you. It’s just that I care for her very much.”
“I know that, Doc, and so does she. I appreciate the call.”
“Take her to lunch, and tell her I gave her the afternoon off. She works too hard.”
“Thanks. I’m on my way.” He moved a little quicker now, passing the Sand & Surf on his way to the clinic on the outskirts of town.
“Hey, Joe,” the receptionist, Lisa, said when he arrived. “Janey’s in the back doing inventory. Want me to tell her you’re here?”
“If it’s okay, I’d rather surprise her.”
Lisa smiled. “Of course. Go on back.”
With a wave for Doc as he passed his office, Joe found his wife in the supply closet, clipboard in hand, glasses perched on her nose, her hair in a messy bun with a second pen pushed through it. The big baby belly protruded from a white lab coat, making him smile at how she managed to look studious and serious and sexy as hell all at the same time. Sometimes Joe still couldn’t believe that he’d finally gotten the girl he’d always wanted but never thought he’d have.
“Hey, baby,” he said.
Her eyes lit up with delight at the sight of him. “Where’d you come from?”
“The usual places—the ferry landing and the diner with your brother.”
“Which one?”
“The bossy pain-in-the-ass one.”
“What’s my darling Mac up to?”
“Working at the Surf today, finishing up the gift shop for Laura.”
“He and Luke and Shane did such a great job there. It looks so good.”
As she spoke, Joe studied her, looking for signs of the funk that Doc had mentioned but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Was she keeping something from him? That wouldn’t be like her—
“Joe? Are you all right?”
“Oh, sorry. What did you say?”
“I was blathering about the hotel. Nothing important. What were you thinking about?”
He stepped into the small storage room, closing the door behind him. “You.” With his hands on her face, he leaned in for a kiss. “That and this, too.�
�� He stole a second kiss.
She smiled mischievously. “I’m at work, Joseph.”
“I hear you’re going to own the place someday. They probably won’t mind.”
At that, her smile faded a bit. “Probably not.”
Determined to get to the bottom of whatever was troubling her, he said, “How about some lunch?”
“It’s only eleven.”
“And you’re probably already starving.”
“I could eat,” she conceded. “But that’s hardly news. I’m a bottomless pit lately. Let me check with Doc to see if he can spare me.”
“I already talked to him, and he said it’s fine.”
“Are you guys talking about me behind my back?”
Joe led her from the storage room. “Of course we are.”
Janey laughed, which he’d hoped she would. Come to think of it, he couldn’t recall the last time he’d heard her laugh. It pained him to realize she’d been troubled about something and he hadn’t noticed. “I probably shouldn’t be surprised.” She ducked her head into Doc’s office. “Thanks for giving Joe permission to take me for an early lunch. I’ll be back in an hour.”
“Have a nice time,” Doc said with a wink for Joe.
Holding hands, they left the clinic.
“Where to?” Janey asked.
“Let’s go home and make some sandwiches. You can put your feet up and relax while I wait on you.”
“Ohhh, I like the sound of that.”
Because he couldn’t resist, Joe dropped her hand and put his arm around her, drawing her in close to him as they walked the short distance to the little house she’d bought when she was still single. They were going to need a bigger place on the island after the baby arrived, but for now they were enjoying their final months in the cozy cottage.
At home, they spent a good ten minutes greeting her menagerie of pets, who swarmed them with enthusiastic kisses. Janey laughed at the way Pixie tried to leap into her arms, wanting Janey’s full attention as always.
After she took them outside and brought them back in again, Janey said, “Let me sit down, guys. I’ll scratch every one of your ears while Joe finishes making lunch.”