by Marie Force
“Sounds good to me.”
They left the room for the short walk to the beach, where they kicked off their shoes and left them by the stairs.
Paul reached for her hand, which was all it took to get her heart beating faster. It had been so long since she’d known the affection of a man, and before Paul, she’d been certain that this kind of excitement and anticipation was all in the past for her. Carl hadn’t liked to hold hands. He’d thought it was foolish. Only now did Hope realize how much she loved to hold hands—with the right man.
“It’s beautiful here,” Paul said. “Almost as beautiful as Gansett.”
“I’ve always loved this beach. We came every summer for a week with our grandparents, and we had the same room every year. It became almost a joke that we ate at the same place the first night, the same place the second night… We looked forward to that all year.”
“Where’s your sister now?”
“She lives in Oregon with her husband and kids.”
“Are you guys close?”
“We talk every week and text back and forth about the kids. I haven’t seen her in a couple of years, though. Ethan and I stayed with them for a short time after Carl was arrested. I had to get out of town, and she offered. The other side of the country looked really good to me right then.”
“I imagine it did. What’s her name?”
“Camille.”
“How many kids does she have?”
“Three boys—Sam, Michael and Josh. They’re a little older than Ethan.”
“Is she older than you?”
“Younger, actually. By a year.”
“How about your folks? Are they still alive?”
“Yeah. They live in New Hampshire where we grew up.”
“I had no idea you were from New Hampshire. What part?”
“North Conway.”
“I love it there. I’ve spent a lot of weekends skiing at Cranmore.”
“Me, too. I wonder if we were ever there at the same time?”
He smiled down at her and then dropped her hand so he could put his arm around her.
She liked that even better than the handholding.
“Were your parents supportive when everything happened with Carl?”
“They tried to be, but they were so disgusted with him, and it was hard for me to have to listen to my dad’s tirades when I had my own tirades going on inside. The sad part was that he and my dad were close until then. He used to call Carl the son he never had. He was so, so disappointed. Naturally, he aired that out with me.”
“Which made a bad situation worse for you.”
“It really did. I felt like I’d disappointed him by marrying the wrong guy or something.”
“But you know it was no reflection on you, right?”
“For the most part. I still sometimes think that maybe if I’d done something differently or been a better wife—”
“No.” Paul stopped walking and turned to face her, keeping his hand on her shoulder. “It had nothing at all to do with you. There was something wrong with him if he thought it was okay to have sex with children.”
“Maybe if I’d had more sex with him, he wouldn’t have done what he did with children.”
“Hope, come on. You don’t really believe that. This was all on him.”
“In my heart of hearts, I know that. But sometimes I wonder if I could’ve prevented it somehow.”
“You couldn’t have. It’s not the same, but I had a similar thing happen when I was in college. One of my best friends raped a girl at a fraternity party. I remember being so shocked that he’d been accused of such a thing. I felt like I knew him as well as I knew myself. I defended him—even to the police. I said, ‘No way, no way. That’s not how he rolls.’ And then the DNA confirmed that it was him. I can vividly recall how incredibly shocking it was to realize I didn’t know him at all.”
“I know that feeling.”
With his arm back around her shoulders, they started walking again. “The worst part is that I was at that party and never saw anything amiss. I liked to party with the best of them, but I never blacked out or passed out or anything like that. I paid attention, kept an eye out for my friends. In a way, I felt responsible for what’d happened right under my nose. Took a long time for me to understand there was nothing I could’ve done to prevent or stop something I didn’t know was happening.”
“I still wrestle with that one. You feel clueless and naïve and stupid. Everyone assumed I’d known, even my own family, when no one was more shocked than I was to find out what he’d been doing.”
“Your family thought you knew about it and didn’t say anything? Your friends thought that?”
“They never came right out and said as much, but I got the ‘how could you not know?’ vibe from a lot of people, including my parents and sister. Carl and I were like a lot of busy parents—we went to work, we took care of Ethan, we tried to squeeze in some family time and occasionally some couple time. Where, in the midst of that busy schedule, did he have time for sex with minors? That’s the part I still can’t reconcile.”
“He must’ve told a lot of lies.”
“Lies that I believed because I had no reason not to.”
“You trusted him. You loved him. Why would you ever think he was capable of something like this if there was never anything to indicate he had such a thing in him?”
“I wouldn’t, I guess. After it all went down, I spent many a sleepless night going over every detail—every text message, every phone call, every night together. He never slipped up. Or if he did, I missed it. I wasn’t the kind of wife who felt the need to look at his text messages when he was in the shower. I had friends who did stuff like that, but I never did.”
“You respected his privacy—and you trusted him. That’s the way it should be.”
“I’ve had a hard time talking about this stuff with my closest friends, but for some reason, it’s easy with you.”
“I’m glad you told me about it, and I’m sorry it happened to you. You deserve way better than you got from him.”
“Yes, I do.”
“How much longer will he be in jail?”
“Another couple of years, but it could be less. Naturally, he’s been an exemplary prisoner, so he’s apt to get out early for good behavior.”
“Oh the irony.”
They reached the end of the beach and turned to head back.
“And then there’re the lawsuits,” she said.
“What lawsuits?”
“The ones filed by the families of the girls he slept with.”
“Are you tied up in that, too?”
“Thankfully, no, but I had to start from scratch financially after we divorced because our assets were frozen and our house was taken by the bank. They even came after my ten-year-old car because we owned it outright. Lucky Carl was in jail when phase two of the nightmare kicked in.”
“Jesus, Hope. I hope someone kicks the shit out of him in jail. That’ll be the least of what he deserves.”
“That’s not likely to happen. He’s in a minimum-security facility with a lot of white-collar criminals.”
“How in the hell did that happen?”
“He used most of our savings to get himself a really, really good lawyer.”
“Is it okay to say I hate him?”
She laughed. “It’s absolutely fine.”
“How much does Ethan know?”
“Very high-level stuff. Daddy got in trouble and had to go to jail. He asks sometimes if he’ll get to see him after, but I dodge those questions. I have sole custody, and if I have my way, he’ll never see Carl again.”
“What if he wants to see him?”
“I’m hoping by the time it actually happens, Ethan will have moved on and won’t ask. I don’t know. I guess I’ll deal with that when it happens, but I hope it’s a long way off.”
“I hope so, too.” He squeezed her shoulder in a show of support that she greatly appreciate
d. “I have to tell you what Ethan and I talked about on the way to the bus the last couple of days.”
“What did you talk about?”
“Yesterday he asked if I like his mom, and I said yes, I like her very much. Today he was concerned about something happening to you, the way it did to Jackson and Kyle’s mom. I assured him that you’re perfectly healthy and he didn’t need to worry. He asked me to promise him that I’d take good care of you while we are away.”
“Oh God, the poor kid. I hate to think of him worrying about stuff like that.”
“It’s natural that what happened to Jackson and Kyle’s mom would worry him. I remember meeting Joe Cantrell when he first moved to the island after his dad died and asking my mom if that was going to happen to my dad, too.”
“Thank you for reassuring him.”
“I care for him just as much as I care for you, which is a whole lot.”
She leaned her head against his shoulder. “I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and none of this will have happened. It’ll turn out to be nothing more than a lovely dream.”
“I feel the same way. I’m almost ashamed to admit that I’ve been envious of Alex because he found someone who made him so happy, not that he doesn’t deserve it. But I kept wondering if I was ever going to get my turn. And then you kissed me.”
“Ugh,” she said, sputtering with laughter. “Don’t remind me of that. I’m still mortified.”
Once again, he stopped walking, but this time, he drew her in close to him, gazing down at her with a tender, amused expression on his face. “Why are you mortified?”
“Because I kissed my boss! My nursing school professors would freak out if they knew that.”
“You kissed me. I wasn’t your boss in that moment. And I’m not your boss now.” Caressing the faint bruise on her cheek, he said, “Does it hurt?”
She shook her head. “Not so much.”
He captured her mouth in a sweet, sexy kiss that had her clinging to him, trying to get as close as she could to the amazing way he made her feel. As he kissed her, he walked them backward toward the stairs where they’d left their shoes, only breaking the kiss when they ran out of sand.
Keeping a firm grip on her hand, he scooped up their shoes with his free hand and headed for their hotel.
This is going to happen, Hope thought. It’s going to happen right now, and I want it. I want him. If only I weren’t so nervous. I hope he can’t tell I’m having a meltdown on the inside.
They rinsed the sand off their feet at an outdoor shower and were back in their room a few minutes later. He immediately reached for her to continue what they’d started on the beach.
“Paul,” she said as he kissed her neck. His erection was hard and thick between them, and it was all she could do not to rub shamelessly against him.
“Hmm?”
“I-I haven’t done this in a long time. And I’ve only ever done it with him. I have no idea if I’m any good at it.”
“Sweetheart, you’re beautiful and sweet and kind and so sexy. And the best part is you have no idea how sexy you are. Whatever we do is going to be amazing. I know it.”
No one had ever said such things to her, and for the first time in her life, she felt sexy because of him. She caressed the handsome face that had overtaken her thoughts and many of her dreams, too.
“We don’t have to do anything that you’re not ready to do,” he said. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Once again he’d said exactly what she needed to hear. “Maybe we could just see what happens?”
“We can do whatever you want.”
She went up on tiptoes to kiss him, running her tongue over his full bottom lip.
His arm encircled her waist, bringing her in close to the evidence of how badly he wanted her.
Hope tugged on his T-shirt and helped him out of it, her eyes boggling once again at how ripped he was. He had muscles on top of muscles from years of hard physical work, and just the right amount of dark chest hair. She ran her hands over each hill and valley, dragging her fingertips over the bumps of his six-pack. Or was that a twelve-pack?
Releasing a low growl, he swept his hands under the hem of her shirt, laying them flat against her back. “Could we take yours off, too?”
She nodded, and he eased the shirt up and over her head, leaving her in only the lacy bra she’d worn with this moment in mind.
His jaw pulsed with tension, and his eyes flared with desire as he took a good long look at her. “So, so beautiful, Hope.” He lowered her to the bed and came down on top of her. For a long moment, he gazed into her eyes, seeming to gauge if she wanted this as much as he did.
He’d shown her that there were still good men in this world, and all she had to do was have some faith. He made her want to put her faith in him.
She reached for him, loving the way he looked at her before his lips met hers. This kiss was unlike all the others that came before. There was a hint of desperation to it that drove all her worries and fears right out of the room. For the first time in longer than she could remember, she had no responsibilities, and she was free to fully enjoy this escape from reality with a hot, sexy man who treated her like a queen.
He broke the kiss to turn his attention to her neck, making her shiver from the sensations that zinged through her body. Her nipples tightened and chafed against the confines of her bra, and the throb between her legs intensified with every brush of his lips over her sensitive skin. He set her on fire for him.
The rough scrape of his late-day whiskers over the tops of her breasts made her moan.
“Tell me to stop if it’s too much,” he said.
“Don’t stop.” For a second, she feared that she sounded too desperate, but her words encouraged him to move things along. Her bra fell away, baring her breasts to his ravenous gaze.
“Goddamn, you’re gorgeous,” he whispered as he took her nipple into his mouth, sucking and licking and tugging on it until she was nearly delirious from wanting more of him.
She wanted to tell him to hurry, but he wouldn’t be rushed.
He moved with deliberate slowness, or so it seemed to her. If his goal was to bring her to the verge of begging, he was about to succeed. Everything he did, every touch, every kiss, every breath on her fevered skin ramped up the desire for more.
After kissing his way from her breasts to her belly, he tugged on the button to her shorts and watched her closely as he removed them, perhaps looking for signs of reluctance that didn’t exist. She helped him along by removing her panties and flinging them to the floor.
Paul’s eyes went wide with surprise when she did that, nearly making her laugh. He hadn’t seen that coming.
Hope sat up and unbuttoned his shorts, pushing them down over his hips, revealing the boxer briefs he wore under them. His long, thick erection reached nearly to his belly button and was peeking out over the waistband. She ran her finger over the tip, making him gasp and then hiss.
Tucking her hands into the back of his briefs, she pushed them down as she cupped his tight, muscular ass. The second his cock sprang free, she drew him into her mouth, sucking and licking and teasing him the way he’d done to her breasts. Judging by his sharp inhale, he hadn’t seen that coming either.
His hands fisted her hair, and his hips began to move to her rhythm. “Fuck,” he muttered. “Stop. Hope… Stop.”
She released him from her mouth and looked up at him. “What’s wrong?”
“Absolutely nothing, but you’re going to finish me off if you keep that up.”
“Are you only good for once?” she asked and then wondered where this sexy, vixen side of her was coming from. She’d never been like this with Carl.
His mouth fell open and then snapped closed. “Hardly, but the first time, I want to be with you.” Cupping her breasts in big callused hands, he ran his thumbs over her nipples, making her tremble.
“Paul…”
“What, sweetheart? Tell me what you want.”
“I want you. Now.”
“Do we need protection?”
She shook her head. “I’m on the pill, and I’m clean. I was tested after…” In his dark gaze, she saw that he understood what after meant.
“I’m clean, too, and I haven’t done this in a while, but I don’t mind using a condom.”
“No,” she said, sinking her fingers into the dense muscles of his back to pull him closer. “Just you.”
He tested her readiness with his fingers, sliding them through the dampness between her legs and sending her to the point of madness before driving them into her.
Hope cried out and arched into him. God, it felt so good to be touched this way, to feel like a woman again, to know he wanted her as much as she wanted him. It had been such a long, lonely time since the last time she’d felt desired. Tears filled her eyes, and she closed them tight against the burn. This was no time to get emotional. He removed his fingers and replaced them with his cock, pushing gently against her before retreating, over and over again, gaining greater depth each time.
She was swept away by him, so much so that even the slight bite of pain she experienced as he entered her barely registered.
“Look at me, Hope,” he whispered as he kissed her. “Look at me.”
She opened her eyes, blinked away the tears that had gathered and met his intense gaze.
“There you are,” he said with a small, sexy smile that she returned. “Are you okay?”
“Mmm, so okay.”
“Does it hurt?”
“A little. Been a while.”
“We’ll go slow.” He bent to nuzzle her neck. “You’re so hot and so tight. I’ve never felt anything better than this.”
His words were as much of a turn-on as the insistent press of his cock into her. He was much bigger than Carl had been, and the extra-tight fit triggered sensations she’d never experienced before. And then he hit a spot deep inside, prompting an orgasm that seemed to come from her very soul. That had certainly never happened before.
“Paul,” she said, gasping and clinging to him as he picked up the pace, hammering into her and riding the waves of her release until he found his own.
“God,” he muttered when he came down on top of her, breathing hard and sweating from exertion.