by Marie Force
“Hope?” he said, drawing her out of her thoughts. “Luke was asking if you like living on Gansett.”
“Oh, sorry. Yes, I love it. My son does, too.”
“Alex and Paul are lucky to have you,” Luke said.
“It’s been a pleasure to help out,” Hope said, her throat closing. God, she was going to cry if she didn’t get out of there right away. “Excuse me.” She got up and left the deck, hearing Luke ask, “Was it something I said?” as she went.
Hope went into the hallway bathroom to splash cold water on her face, hoping it would help to calm emotions that were all over the place tonight. Patting her face with a hand towel, she studied herself in the mirror and decided she must not be fooling anyone with her so-called party face. Time to go home. At least there she could wallow in her misery without dragging anyone else down.
She opened the door to Paul standing in the hallway. He stepped into the bathroom and shut the door.
He overwhelmed the small space with his big frame. “Are you okay?”
“I-I…” She wanted to assure him she was fine, but she couldn’t look at that handsome face and lie to him. “No,” she said softly. “I’m a mess.” Later she wouldn’t be able to say if she reached for him or he reached for her. What did it matter when it felt so damned good to be in his arms again, to kiss him, to feel his arms around her, making her feel safe and cherished?
A knock on the bathroom door ended the moment.
They stared at each other, equally dazzled.
“Later,” he said. “We’ll talk later.” He opened the door and walked out, leaving her stunned by the force of her attraction to him as well as the endless need for more.
Hope followed him to the hallway, where Adam McCarthy studied his phone, a sly smile on his face. “Sorry,” she muttered.
“No worries.”
Thankfully, the party was beginning to break up, and Alex asked Paul if he’d give them a ride home. Since she’d had two glasses of wine, she took Paul up on his offer to leave her car there until tomorrow. He held the door to his truck for her and waited until she was settled before he closed it.
Alex and Jenny climbed into the back, whispering and giggling like the happy newlyweds they were. The sounds of sloppy kissing and more giggling seemed extra loud to her, or maybe it was the silence hanging between her and Paul that made it seem so loud.
“Guess what Erin told me tonight,” Jenny said.
“What’s that?” Alex asked.
“Slim, who came to her rescue when she sprained her ankle, has been coming by to visit and asked her out.”
“That’s cool,” Alex said.
“He’s a good guy,” Paul added.
“I’m glad you think so,” Jenny said. “She deserves only the best.”
“Drop us at our place,” Alex said when they drove into the driveway at home. “If you don’t mind staying with Mom.”
“I don’t mind.” Paul pulled up to the dark hulk of Alex and Jenny’s new house, and they fell out of the car, laughing as Alex scooped her up into his arms, whirled her around and carried her inside, calling over his shoulder, “Great time, bro. Thanks!”
Paul waited until they were safely inside before he backed out of their driveway and headed for home. When he killed the lights and shut off the engine, the darkness engulfed them. “Be with me tonight. No commitments, no promises. Just us taking what we both want.”
She should say no. More wouldn’t make the leaving any easier.
His hand found hers in the darkness. “Please.”
The desperation she heard in that single word had her saying, “Yes.”
“It’s dark. Wait for me.”
Her heart pounded and her chest tightened with the effort it took to draw air into her lungs. She shouldn’t do this. She absolutely should not, but when he opened the door, took her hand and helped her out of the truck and then pressed her against it to kiss her senseless, she wasn’t thinking about why she shouldn’t. No, she was thinking about all the reasons she absolutely should.
Then he scooped her up the way Alex had done to Jenny, leaving Hope breathless from wanting him. He put her down on the porch. “I can’t shock poor Mrs. Garfield by carrying you inside.” Leaning in so his lips brushed against her ear, he added, “But I want to. I really want to.”
Hope laughed at the salacious tone of his voice and let him guide her into the house, where Mrs. Garfield was on the sofa watching TV. As a retired nurse herself, she’d been a huge asset to the family.
“Hi there,” she said. “Did you have a good time?”
“It was great,” Paul said. “Alex and Jenny can now get married.” He winked at Hope and then walked Mrs. Garfield to the door, waiting until she was in her car before he shut off the outside lights.
Hope loved being “in the know” that Alex and Jenny were already married. She loved being a part of everything that went on around here, even the difficult stuff with Marion. And she loved Paul. That much had become painfully apparent since she called it off with him. Sleeping with him tonight wasn’t going to make anything better. In fact, it would probably make everything a whole lot worse.
But that certainly didn’t stop her from taking the hand he offered. It didn’t stop her from letting him lead her into his room.
“Give me one second to look in on Mom, and then I’m all yours.”
All yours. Hope fairly swooned at the thought of such an incredible man being all hers, even if it was only for tonight. Alone in his room, it occurred to her that she could walk out of there and spare herself the agony that was sure to set in tomorrow. But she couldn’t bring herself to take the first step that would lead to the safety of her own home.
He returned, leaving the door open so they could hear Marion if she got up. The night-light in the hallway made it possible for her to see the look of intent on his face as he approached her.
“You’re so beautiful tonight,” he whispered. “All the time, but tonight… You dazzled me.”
“I like that word.”
“It’s a good word. It sums up rather perfectly how I feel about you.” He leaned in to kiss her neck, setting off a chain reaction that registered in all her most important places, most particularly in her chest, where her heart beat erratically. “I couldn’t take my eyes off you tonight. You might’ve been the only woman in the room.”
“Paul,” she said on a sigh, utterly charmed by his sweet words.
“The last couple of days have been torture. You’re so close but so far away. I can’t stand it.”
“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
“You didn’t. You’re being smart and practical and wise when I want you to throw caution to the wind.”
“I can’t do that.”
“I know,” he said with a sigh of his own. He found the zipper on the back of her dress and drew it down slowly, his fingers brushing against the sensitive skin on her back as he went. The dress fell to her feet, leaving her in a strapless bra and skimpy panties.
Had she dressed hoping for this outcome to the evening? Not intentionally, but judging by the flare of desire in his eyes, he liked what he saw.
She began unbuttoning the dress shirt he’d worn with khaki shorts. The rest of their clothes fell away until they were both naked.
“Just give me this for one minute,” he whispered, his arms tight around her.
Hope gave him what he needed, because she needed it just as badly.
Paul raised his head off her shoulder to kiss her, a soft, sweet caress that made her want so much more.
There was that word again—more. He always made her want more of him, and she’d begun to suspect that she’d never get enough. With his arms still tight around her, he eased her onto the bed and leaned over her. “I thought I’d memorized every detail, but I forgot a few.”
“Like what?”
“This,” he said, laying his finger over the mole on her breast. He replaced his finger with his tongue. “I don’t
want to forget that or the way you go crazy when I do this.” With his thumbs on her hipbones, he pressed down.
She cried out, and her legs fell open.
Paul dropped to his knees next to the bed, his hands flat against her thighs.
“Paul… Wait…”
“I don’t want to wait. I only got one little taste of you while we were away, and I kept thinking I didn’t get nearly enough.”
All the air left her body in one long exhale that he took as permission to proceed. Holding her open with his thumbs, he stroked her with his tongue until she was writhing on the bed and pulling his hair so hard, he worried he’d have bald spots. But that didn’t stop him. He slid two fingers into her, going slowly to draw out the pleasure.
“Are you still sore?”
“No,” she said, sounding breathless. Her legs trembled, and her internal muscles clamped down on his fingers.
Blowing on her clit, he said, “Mmm, so hot.” He sucked on her clit, and she screamed as she came.
Paul stayed with her until she began to relax. Then he replaced his fingers with his cock and triggered a second wave. “Hope…”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him into a kiss as he worked his way into her slowly.
He was so afraid to hurt her by driving in hard the way he wanted to.
Her hands moved down his back to cup his ass, pulling him toward her.
Groaning, he began to move in her while keeping his lips close to her ear. “Hope… You feel so good. This feels so good. Stay with me. Be with me.” He kissed away the moisture that leaked from her eyes. “We’ll figure it out together. Don’t leave me.”
A sob escaped from her lips as she continued to move with him.
“Do you feel how great it is, too?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “God, yes.”
“I can’t let you go.” He pressed into her, looking for the spot that had set her off before and knowing he’d found it when he felt the telltale tightening of her internal muscles. “Yes, sweetheart, come for me. Let me feel you.”
Her release led to his, and he came down on top of her, gathering her in close to him. “Don’t go, Hope. We’ll make it work.”
She shook her head. “I have to get another job.”
“I’ll take care of you and Ethan. You’ll have everything you need.”
“You’re wonderful and sweet to want to do that, but I can’t.”
He wanted to scream with frustration. “What we have here doesn’t come around every day.”
“I certainly know that.”
“We can’t give up without a fight.”
“We’re not doing that. We’re acknowledging that it can’t go anywhere.”
“What if I came with you?”
“You can’t do that, Paul. Your life and your business are here.”
“I don’t want to be here if you and Ethan aren’t here with me.”
She caressed his face with both hands. “I wish things were different. You have no idea how much I wish that.”
“I bet I do.” He forced a smile for her benefit and withdrew from her. Lying on his back, he stared up at the ceiling as if he might find the answers there.
“I should go,” she said after a long period of silence.
“Not yet.” Paul turned on his side and put his arm around her. “Spend the night with me.”
“It won’t make anything better.”
“Maybe not, but it’ll make tonight better.”
She turned into his embrace, her hand resting on his chest over his heart. “You have to know if I could have anything I wanted, it would be you.”
“You can have me. We can have it all.”
“I can’t have you and a job, too. There’re no jobs here for nurses. I have to go where the work is.”
“There’re other jobs here. Maybe you could find something else.”
“I’m still digging out of the hole Carl put me in. I can’t afford to take a pay cut.”
Paul took hold of her hand. “I hate that it seems so hopeless.”
“Ha. No pun intended.”
“I don’t want to be hopeless or Hope-less.” As he played with her fingers, he tried to gather his thoughts. “In all the time I’ve lived here, I never looked forward to the day I could get out of here the way Alex and so many of the other kids we knew did. They all counted down the days until they could get the hell out. That was never me. But now, with the thought of all that water between where I am and where you are, I want out of here for the first time.”
“I hate that I’ve caused that to happen.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I’m sorry it’s worked out this way, but I’m not sorry it happened.”
Paul pulled her in closer to him so he could kiss her. “I’m not sorry either.”
Chapter 24
Sitting around the fire outside Seamus and Carolina’s house, Big Mac took it upon himself to keep the fire fed since Seamus was preoccupied tonight.
“It’s so good of you guys to come by to check on us,” Carolina said.
“The bachelor and bachelorette parties ended a little prematurely,” Big Mac said, “so we hoped we’d find you still up.”
“It’s such a wonderful thing you’re doing for those boys,” Linda said. “How are they?”
“They’ve gone back to school,” Caro said. “Returning to their routine seems to be helping.”
“Just like it did for Joe,” Linda said.
“Yes.”
Linda glanced at Big Mac. “We just want you to know that we’re here for you like we were then. You’re not in this alone. Everyone wants to help.”
“It’s so nice of you to say that,” Caro said. “We’ll take all the help we can get.”
Seamus stood suddenly. “I’m going to get a beer. I’ll grab one for you, too, Mac. Ladies?”
They demurred, and he walked toward the house.
“Poor guy is wound up,” Caro said. “He’s so afraid he’s going to mess things up for the boys. I’ve tried to assure him he’ll be great, but he’s still stressed.”
Big Mac got up. “I’ll have a chat with him. See what I can do.”
“Oh, Mac,” Caro said. “Would you? That would help. I know it would.”
He squeezed Caro’s shoulder. “I’ll do what I can.” Big Mac went into the house and found Seamus in the kitchen, beer in hand, staring out into the darkness through the window over the kitchen sink. “Is that one for me?”
“Oh yeah, sorry.” Seamus twisted the cap off and handed it to him.
“Here’s to fatherhood,” Big Mac said, raising his bottle to Seamus. “Best thing to ever happen to me.”
Seamus touched his bottle to Big Mac’s. “That’s good to hear.”
“It will be for you, too.”
“Wasn’t quite how I pictured it happening when I was growing up in Ireland.”
“Ahhh, yes, plans. They make a mockery of us, don’t they?”
“Indeed,” Seamus said with a chuckle.
“I’m a big believer in things happening for a reason. There’s a reason you ended up in this house next door to those boys.”
“I thought that reason was Caro.”
“She wasn’t the only reason. They’re part of the master plan, too.”
Seamus took a swig from his beer. “Yes, I guess they are.”
“You aren’t having regrets about taking them in, are you?”
“No. God, no. Nothing like that.”
“Then what is it? Something’s nagging at you.”
“It’s the enormity of the responsibility.” He rested a hand on his chest. “I feel like there’s an elephant sitting right here when I think about how it’s my job now to protect them and keep them safe. They like to be outside and to run wild, and when I think about all the ways they can get hurt… Are you laughing at me?”
Big Mac had tried to hold it back, but the laughter wouldn’t be contained. “You think you’re different fro
m any other man who gets handed a little bundle of joy? We all feel that way, Seamus. Every one of us. It’s called parenthood. The good news is the panic passes in time. You realize they aren’t as breakable as you think they are at first.”
“These guys aren’t babies.”
“No, they aren’t, and you’ll need to keep a close eye on them so they don’t get hurt or find trouble. But that’s the easy part. Wait until someone breaks their heart, or they leave home and don’t come back for a good long while. That’s worse.” He put his hand on Seamus’s shoulder. “One thing I know for sure, knowing you as I do, is that they’ll get one hundred fifty percent from you, and one day they’ll look back with gratitude at the incredible stroke of luck that brought you into their lives.”
“You think so?” Seamus asked, seeming to battle his emotions.
“I know so. Right now, the task before you seems monumental, and it is in many ways. But it’ll also be the most fun you’ll ever have in your life. And when they grow up and become your friends as well as your sons…” Big Mac’s voice broke. “That’s the ultimate joy.”
“Thanks for this. Means a lot to me coming from you.”
“You’re not in this alone, Seamus. You and Caro have an entire island full of people who want to help make sure those boys are well loved. I love having kids over to the marina to go crabbing and out on the boat and lots of other fun stuff. You’ll teach them how to drive the ferries and the best Irish swear words. You’ve got a lifetime worth of wisdom to share with them. It’ll all be okay.”
“I’m going to take your word for it.”
“I’m rarely wrong about anything. Just ask my family.”
“And they say I’m full of blarney,” Seamus said with a laugh as he extended his hand to Big Mac. “Thank you.”
Big Mac shook his hand. “My pleasure.”
“You and I are in the biggest fight we’ve ever been in,” Mac said to Maddie as he drove them home.
She covered her mouth to keep from laughing, because she knew he wouldn’t appreciate that when he sounded genuinely pissed.
“If you laugh at me, I swear to God, Madeline…”
“What’ll happen?”