by Terence
Pyth. Where is he?
Phæd. Do you ask the question? Don’t you see him? (Pointing to the Eunuch.)
Pyth. (staring about.) See whom, pray?
Phæd. This fellow, to be sure (pointing).
Pyth. What person is this?
Phæd. The same that was brought to your house to-day.
Pyth. Not one of our people has ever beheld this person with her eyes, Phædria.
Phæd. Not beheld him?
Pyth. Prithee, did you fancy that this was he who was brought to our house?
Phæd. Why, I had no other.
Pyth. O dear! this one really isn’t to be compared with the other. He was of a handsome and genteel appearance.
Phæd. He seemed so, just then, because he was decked out in party-colored clothes: now he appears ugly, for this reason — because he hasn’t got them on.
Pyth. Prithee, do hold your tongue; as though indeed the difference was so trifling. A young man was brought to our house to-day, whom, really, Phædria, you would have liked to look upon. This is a withered, antiquated, lethargic, old fellow, with a speckled complexion.
Phæd. (starting.) Hah! What tale is this? You’ll so be-fool me that I sha’n’t know what I bought. (To Dorus.) How now, sirrah, did I not buy you?
Dorus. You did buy me.
Pyth. Bid him answer me in my turn.
Phæd. Question him.
Pyth. (to Dorus.) Did you come here to-day to our house? (Dorus shakes his head.) He says, no. But it was the other one that came, about sixteen years of age; whom Parmeno brought with him.
Phæd. (to Dorus.) Well now, in the first place tell me this, where did you get that dress that you have on? What, are you silent? Monster of a fellow, are you not going to speak (Shakes him.)
Dorus. Chærea came.
Phæd. What, my brother?
Dorus. Yes.
Phæd. When?
Dorus. To-day.
Phæd. How long since?
Dorus. Just now.
Phæd. With whom?
Dorus. With Parmeno.
Phæd. Did you know him before?
Dorus. No.
Phæd. How did you know he was my brother?
Dorus. Parmeno said he was. He gave me these clothes.
Phæd. I’m undone!
Dorus. He himself put on mine; afterward, they both went out together.
Pyth. Now are you quite satisfied that I am sober, and that we have told you no falsehood? Is it now sufficiently evident that the girl has been ravished?
Phæd. Avaunt, you beast, do you believe what he says?
Pyth. What is there to believe? The thing speaks for itself.
Phæd. (apart to Dorus.) Step aside a little this way. Do you hear? (Dorus steps aside.) A little further still. That will do. Now tell me this once more; did Chærea take your clothes off you?
Dorus. He did.
Phæd. And did he put them on?
Dorus. He did.
Phæd. And was he brought here instead of you?
Dorus. Yes.
Phæd. Great Jupiter! O wicked and audacious fellow!
Pyth. Woe unto me! Now at last will you believe that we have been insulted in a disgraceful manner?
Phæd. It is no wonder that you believe what the fellow says. (Aside.) What I’m to do I know not. (Aside to Dorus.) Hark you, deny it all again. (Aloud.) Can I not this day extract the truth from you? Did you really see my brother Chærea?
Dorus. No.
Phæd. He can’t be brought to confess without being punished, I see: follow me this way. At one moment he affirms, at another denies. (Aside.) Ask pardon of me.
Dorus. Indeed, I do entreat you, Phædria.
Phæd. (kicking him.) Be off in-doors.
Dorus. Oh! oh!
Phæd. (aside.) How in any other fashion to get decently out of this I don’t know; for really it’s all up with me. (Aloud, with pretended indignation.) Will you be trifling with me even here, you knave?
Follows Dorus into the house.
Scene V.
Pythias and Dorias.
Pyth. I’m as certain that this is the contrivance of Parmeno as that I’m alive.
Dorias. So it is, no doubt.
Pyth. I’faith, I’ll find out a method to-day to be even with him. But now, what do you think ought to be done, Dorias?
Dorias. Do you mean with regard to this girl?
Pyth. Yes; whether I ought to mention it or be silent?
Dorias. Upon my word, if you are prudent, you won’t know what you do know, either about the Eunuch or the girl’s misfortune. By this method you’ll both rid yourself of all perplexity, and have done a service to her. Say this only, that Dorus has run away.
Pyth. I’ll do so.
Dorias. But don’t I see Chremes? Thais will be here just now.
Pyth. Why so?
Dorias. Because when I came away from there, a quarrel had just commenced between them.
Pyth. Take in these golden trinkets; I shall learn from him what’s the matter.
Dorias takes the casket into the house.
Scene VI.
Enter Chremes, somewhat drunk.
Chrem. Heyday! upon my faith, I’ve been bamboozled: the wine that I’ve drunk has got the upper hand. But, so long as I was reclining, how extremely sober I did seem to myself to be; when I got up, neither feet nor senses were quite equal to their duty.
Pyth. Chremes!
Chrem. (turning round.) Who’s that? What, Pythias; dear me, how much more charming you now seem to me than a short time since!
Pyth. Troth now, you are much more merry, that’s certain.
Chrem. Upon my faith, it is a true saying, that “Venus grows cold without Ceres and Bacchus.” But has Thais got here long before me?
Pyth. Has she already come away from the Captain’s?
Chrem. A long time ago; an age since. There has been a most violent quarrel between them.
Pyth. Did she say nothing about you following her?
Chrem. Nothing at all; only, on going away, she gave me a nod.
Pyth. Well now, wasn’t that enough?
Chrem. Why, I didn’t know that she meant that, until the Captain gave me an explanation, because I was dull of comprehension; for he bundled me out of the house. But look, here she is; I wonder how it was I got here before her.
Scene VII.
Enter Thais.
Thais. (to herself.) I really do believe that he’ll be here presently, to force her away from me. Let him come; but if he touches her with a single finger, that instant his eyes shall be torn out. I can put up with his impertinences and his high-sounding words, as long as they remain words: but if they are turned into realities, he shall get a drubbing.
Chrem. Thais, I’ve been here some time.
Thais. O my dear Chremes, you are the very person I was wanting. Are you aware that this quarrel took place on your account, and that the whole of this affair, in fact, bore reference to yourself?
Chrem. To me? How so, pray?
Thais. Because, while I’ve been doing my best to recover and restore your sister to you, this and a great deal more like it I’ve had to put up with.
Chrem. Where is she?
Thais. At home, at my house.
Chrem. (starting.) Hah!
Thais. What’s the matter? She has been brought up in a manner worthy of yourself and of her.
Chrem. What is it you say?
Thais. That which is the fact. Her I present to you, nor do I ask of you any return for her.
Chrem. Thanks are both felt and shall be returned in such way, Thais, as you deserve.
Thais. But still, take care, Chremes, that you don’t lose her, before you receive her from me; for it is she, whom the Captain is now coming to take away from me by force. Do you go, Pythias, and bring out of the house the casket with the tokens.
Chrem. (looking down the side Scene.) Don’t you see him, Thais?
Pyth. (to Thais.) Where is it put?
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sp; Thais. In the clothes’ chest. Tiresome creature, why do you delay?
Pythias goes into the house.
Chrem. What a large body of troops the Captain is bringing with him against you. Bless me!
Thais. Prithee, are you frightened, my dear sir?
Chrem. Get out with you. What, I frightened? There’s not a man alive less so.
Thais. Then now is the time to prove it.
Chrem. Why, I wonder what sort of a man you take me to be.
Thais. Nay, and consider this too; the person that you have to deal with is a foreigner; of less influence than you, less known, and one that has fewer friends here.
Chrem. I’m aware of that; but it’s foolish to run the risk of what you are able to avoid. I had rather we should prevent it, than, having received an injury, avenge ourselves upon him. Do you go in and fasten the door, while I run across hence to the Forum; I should like us to have the aid of some legal adviser in this disturbance. (Moves, as if going.)
Thais. (holding him.) Stay.
Chrem. Let me go, I’ll be here presently.
Thais. There’s no occasion, Chremes. Only say that she is your sister, and that you lost her when a little girl, and have now recognized her; then show the tokens.
Re-enter Pythias from the house, with the trinkets.
Pyth. (giving them to Thais.) Here they are.
Thais. (giving them to Chremes.) Take them. If he offers any violence, summon the fellow to justice; do you understand me?
Chrem. Perfectly.
Thais. Take care and say this with presence of mind.
Chrem. I’ll take care.
Thais. Gather up your cloak. (Aside.) Undone! the very person whom I’ve provided as a champion, wants one himself.
They all go into the house.
Scene VIII.
Enter Thraso, followed by Gnatho, Sanga, and other Attendants.
Thra. Am I to submit, Gnatho, to such a glaring affront as this being put upon me? I’d die sooner. Simalio, Donax, Syriscus, follow me! First, I’ll storm the house.
Gna. Quite right.
Thra. I’ll carry off the girl.
Gna. Very good.
Thra. I’ll give her own self a mauling.
Gna. Very proper.
Thra. (arranging the men.) Advance hither to the main body, Donax, with your crowbar; you, Simalio, to the left wing; you, Syriscus, to the right. Bring up the rest; where’s the centurion Sanga, and his maniple of rogues?
San. (coming forward.) See, here he is.
Thra. What, you booby, do you think of fighting with a dish-clout, to be bringing that here?
San. What, I? I knew the valor of the general, and the prowess of the soldiers; and that this could not possibly go on without bloodshed; how was I to wipe the wounds?
Thra. Where are the others?
San. Plague on you, what others? Sannio is the only one left on guard at home.
Thra. (to Gnatho.) Do you draw up your men in battle order; I’ll be behind the second rank; from that position I’ll give the word to all.
Takes his place behind the second rank.
Gna. (aside.) That’s showing prudence; as soon as he has drawn them up, he secures a retreat for himself.
Thra. (pointing to the arrangements.) This is just the way Pyrrhus used to proceed.
Chremes and Thais appear above at a window.
Chrem. Do you see, Thais, what plan he is upon? Assuredly, that advice of mine about closing the door was good.
Thais. He who now seems to you to be a hero, is in reality a mere vaporer; don’t be alarmed.
Thra. (to Gnatho.) What seems best to you?
Gna. I could very much like a sling to be given you just now, that you might pelt them from here on the sly at a distance; they would be taking to flight.
Thra. (to Gnatho.) But look (pointing), I see Thais there herself.
Gna. How soon are we to fall to?
Thra. Hold (holding him back); it behooves a prudent person to make trial of every thing before arms. How do you know but that she may do what I bid her without compulsion?
Gna. Ye Gods, by our trust in you, what a thing it is to be wise! I never come near you but what I go away from you the wiser.
Thra. Thais, in the first place, answer me this. When I presented you that girl, did you not say that you would give yourself up to me alone for some days to come?
Thais. Well, what then?
Thra. Do you ask the question? You, who have been and brought your lover under my very eyes? What business had you with him? With him, too, you clandestinely betook yourself away from me.
Thais. I chose to do so.
Thra. Then give me back Pamphila; unless you had rather she were taken away by force.
Chrem. Give her back to you, or you lay hands upon her? Of all the —
Gna. Ha! What are you about? Hold your tongue.
Thra. What do you mean? Am I not to touch my own?
Chrem. Your own, indeed, you gallows-bird!
Gna. (to Chremes.) Have a care, if you please. You don’t know what kind of man you are abusing now.
Chrem. (to Gnatho.) Won’t you be off from here? Do you know how matters stand with you? If you cause any disturbance here to-day, I’ll make you remember the place, and day, and me too, for the rest of your life.
Gna. I pity you, who are making so great a man as this your enemy.
Chrem. I’ll break your head this instant if you are not off.
Gna. Do you really say so, puppy? Is it that you are at?
Thra. (to Chremes.) What fellow are you? What do you mean? What business have you with her?
Chrem. I’ll let you know: in the first place, I assert that she is a freeborn woman.
Thra. (starting.) Ha!
Chrem. A citizen of Attica.
Thra. Whew!
Chrem. My own sister.
Thra. Brazen face!
Chrem. Now, therefore, Captain, I give you warning; don’t you use any violence toward her. Thais, I’m going to Sophrona, the nurse, that I may bring her here and show her these tokens.
Thra. What! Are you to prevent me from touching what’s my own?
Chrem. I will prevent it, I tell you.
Gna. (to Thraso.) Do you hear him? He is convicting himself of theft. Is not that enough for you?
Thra. Do you say the same, Thais?
Thais. Go, find some one to answer you.
She and Chremes go away from the window.
Thra. (to Gnatho.) What are we to do now?
Gna. Why, go back again: she’ll soon be with you, of her own accord, to entreat forgiveness.
Thra. Do you think so?
Gna. Certainly, yes. I know the disposition of women: when you will, they won’t; when you won’t, they set their hearts upon you of their own inclination.
Thra. You judge right.
Gna. Shall I dismiss the army then?
Thra. Whenever you like.
Gna. Sanga, as befits gallant soldiers, take care in your turn to remember your homes and hearths.
San. My thoughts have been for some time among the sauce-pans.
Gna. You are a worthy fellow.
Thra. (putting himself at their head.) You follow me this way.
Exeunt omnes.
ACT THE FIFTH.
Scene I.
Enter Thais from her house, followed by Pythias.
Thais. What! do you persist, hussy, in talking ambiguously to me? “I do know;” “I don’t know;” “he has gone off;” “I have heard;” “I wasn’t there.” Don’t you mean to tell me plainly, whatever it is? The girl in tears, with her garments torn, is mute; the Eunuch is off: for what reason? What has happened? Won’t you speak?
Pyth. Wretch that I am, what am I to say to you? They declare that he was not a Eunuch.
Thais. What was he then?
Pyth. That Chærea.
Thais. What Chærea?
Pyth. That stripling, the brother of Phædria.
Thais. What’s t
hat you say, you hag?
Pyth. And I am satisfied of it.
Thais. Pray, what business had he at my house? What brought him there?
Pyth. I don’t know; unless, as I suppose, he was in love with Pamphila.
Thais. Alas! to my confusion, unhappy woman that I am, I’m undone, if what you tell me is true. Is it about this that the girl is crying?
Pyth. I believe so.
Thais. How say you, you arch-jade? Did I not warn you about this very thing, when I was going away from here?
Pyth. What could I do? Just as you ordered, she was intrusted to his care only.
Thais. Hussy, I’ve been intrusting the sheep to the wolf. I’m quite ashamed to have been imposed upon in this way. What sort of man was he?
Pyth. Hush! hush! mistress, pray; we are all right. Here we have the very man.
Thais. Where is he?
Pyth. Why there, to the left. Don’t you see?
Thais. I see.
Pyth. Order him to be seized as quickly as possible.
Thais. What can we do to him, simpleton?
Pyth. What do to him, do you ask? Pray, do look at him; if his face doesn’t seem an impudent one.
Thais. Not at all.
Pyth. Besides, what effrontery he has.
Scene II.
Enter Chærea, in the Eunuch’s dress, on the other side of the stage.
Chæ. (to himself.) At Antipho’s, both of them, father and mother, just as if on purpose, were at home, so that I couldn’t any way get in, but that they must have seen me. In the mean time, while I was standing before the door, a certain acquaintance of mine was coming full upon me. When I espied him, I took to my heels as fast as I could down a narrow unfrequented alley; thence again to another, and thence to another; thus have I been most dreadfully harassed with running about, that no one might recognize me. But isn’t this Thais that I see? It is she. I’m at a stand. What shall I do? But what need I care? What can she do to me?
Thais, (to Pythias.) Let’s accost him. (To Chærea.) Good Mister Dorus, welcome; tell me, have you been running away?
Chæ. Madam, I did so.
Thais. Are you quite pleased with it?
Chæ. No.
Thais. Do you fancy that you’ll get off with impunity?