by Anthony Hope
CHAPTER 9
A New Use for a Tea-table
If I were to detail the ordinary events of my daily life at this time,they might prove instructive to people who are not familiar with theinside of palaces; if I revealed some of the secrets I learnt, theymight prove of interest to the statesmen of Europe. I intend to doneither of these things. I should be between the Scylla of dullness andthe Charybdis of indiscretion, and I feel that I had far better confinemyself strictly to the underground drama which was being played beneaththe surface of Ruritanian politics. I need only say that the secret ofmy imposture defied detection. I made mistakes. I had bad minutes: itneeded all the tact and graciousness whereof I was master to smooth oversome apparent lapses of memory and unmindfulness of old acquaintances ofwhich I was guilty. But I escaped, and I attribute my escape, as I havesaid before, most of all, to the very audacity of the enterprise. It ismy belief that, given the necessary physical likeness, it was far easierto pretend to be King of Ruritania than it would have been to personatemy next-door neighbour. One day Sapt came into my room. He threw me aletter, saying:
"That's for you--a woman's hand, I think. But I've some news for youfirst."
"What's that?"
"The King's at the Castle of Zenda," said he.
"How do you know?"
"Because the other half of Michael's Six are there. I had enquiriesmade, and they're all there--Lauengram, Krafstein, and young RupertHentzau: three rogues, too, on my honour, as fine as live in Ruritania."
"Well?"
"Well, Fritz wants you to march to the Castle with horse, foot, andartillery."
"And drag the moat?" I asked.
"That would be about it," grinned Sapt, "and we shouldn't find theKing's body then."
"You think it's certain he's there?"
"Very probable. Besides the fact of those three being there, thedrawbridge is kept up, and no one goes in without an order from youngHentzau or Black Michael himself. We must tie Fritz up."
"I'll go to Zenda," said I.
"You're mad."
"Some day."
"Oh, perhaps. You'll very likely stay there though, if you do."
"That may be, my friend," said I carelessly.
"His Majesty looks sulky," observed Sapt. "How's the love affair?"
"Damn you, hold your tongue!" I said.
He looked at me for a moment, then he lit his pipe. It was quite truethat I was in a bad temper, and I went on perversely:
"Wherever I go, I'm dogged by half a dozen fellows."
"I know you are; I send 'em," he replied composedly.
"What for?"
"Well," said Sapt, puffing away, "it wouldn't be exactly inconvenientfor Black Michael if you disappeared. With you gone, the old game thatwe stopped would be played--or he'd have a shot at it."
"I can take care of myself."
"De Gautet, Bersonin, and Detchard are in Strelsau; and any one ofthem, lad, would cut your throat as readily--as readily as I would BlackMichael's, and a deal more treacherously. What's the letter?"
I opened it and read it aloud:
"If the King desires to know what it deeply concerns the King to know,let him do as this letter bids him. At the end of the New Avenue therestands a house in large grounds. The house has a portico, with a statueof a nymph on it. A wall encloses the garden; there is a gate in thewall at the back. At twelve o'clock tonight, if the King enters aloneby that gate, turns to the right, and walks twenty yards, he will finda summerhouse, approached by a flight of six steps. If he mounts andenters, he will find someone who will tell him what touches most dearlyhis life and his throne. This is written by a faithful friend. He mustbe alone. If he neglects the invitation his life will be in danger. Lethim show this to no one, or he will ruin a woman who loves him: BlackMichael does not pardon."
"No," observed Sapt, as I ended, "but he can dictate a very prettyletter."
I had arrived at the same conclusion, and was about to throw the letteraway, when I saw there was more writing on the other side.
"Hallo! there's some more."
"If you hesitate," the writer continued, "consult Colonel Sapt--"
"Eh," exclaimed that gentleman, genuinely astonished. "Does she take mefor a greater fool than you?"
I waved to him to be silent.
"Ask him what woman would do most to prevent the duke from marrying hiscousin, and therefore most to prevent him becoming king? And ask if hername begins with--A?"
I sprang to my feet. Sapt laid down his pipe.
"Antoinette de Mauban, by heaven!" I cried.
"How do you know?" asked Sapt.
I told him what I knew of the lady, and how I knew it. He nodded.
"It's so far true that she's had a great row with Michael," said he,thoughtfully.
"If she would, she could be useful," I said.
"I believe, though, that Michael wrote that letter."
"So do I, but I mean to know for certain. I shall go, Sapt."
"No, I shall go," said he.
"You may go as far as the gate."
"I shall go to the summer-house."
"I'm hanged if you shall!"
I rose and leant my back against the mantelpiece.
"Sapt, I believe in that woman, and I shall go."
"I don't believe in any woman," said Sapt, "and you shan't go."
"I either go to the summer-house or back to England," said I.
Sapt began to know exactly how far he could lead or drive, and when hemust follow.
"We're playing against time," I added. "Every day we leave the Kingwhere he is there is fresh risk. Every day I masquerade like this, thereis fresh risk. Sapt, we must play high; we must force the game."
"So be it," he said, with a sigh.
To cut the story short, at half-past eleven that night Sapt and Imounted our horses. Fritz was again left on guard, our destination notbeing revealed to him. It was a very dark night. I wore no sword, but Icarried a revolver, a long knife, and a bull's-eye lantern. We arrivedoutside the gate. I dismounted. Sapt held out his hand.
"I shall wait here," he said. "If I hear a shot, I'll--"
"Stay where you are; it's the King's only chance. You mustn't come togrief too."
"You're right, lad. Good luck!"
I pressed the little gate. It yielded, and I found myself in a wild sortof shrubbery. There was a grass-grown path and, turning to the right asI had been bidden, I followed it cautiously. My lantern was closed, therevolver was in my hand. I heard not a sound. Presently a large darkobject loomed out of the gloom ahead of me. It was the summer-house.Reaching the steps, I mounted them and found myself confronted by aweak, rickety wooden door, which hung upon the latch. I pushed it openand walked in. A woman flew to me and seized my hand.
"Shut the door," she whispered.
I obeyed and turned the light of my lantern on her. She was in eveningdress, arrayed very sumptuously, and her dark striking beauty wasmarvellously displayed in the glare of the bull's-eye. The summer-housewas a bare little room, furnished only with a couple of chairs and asmall iron table, such as one sees in a tea garden or an open-air cafe.
"Don't talk," she said. "We've no time. Listen! I know you, Mr.Rassendyll. I wrote that letter at the duke's orders."
"So I thought," said I.
"In twenty minutes three men will be here to kill you."
"Three--the three?"
"Yes. You must be gone by then. If not, tonight you'll be killed--"
"Or they will."
"Listen, listen! When you're killed, your body will be taken to a lowquarter of the town. It will be found there. Michael will at oncearrest all your friends--Colonel Sapt and Captain von Tarlenheimfirst--proclaim a state of siege in Strelsau, and send a messenger toZenda. The other three will murder the King in the Castle, and the dukewill proclaim either himself or the princess--himself, if he is strongenough. Anyhow, he'll marry her, and become king in fact, and soon inname. Do you see?"
"It's a pretty plot.
But why, madame, do you--?"
"Say I'm a Christian--or say I'm jealous. My God! shall I see him marryher? Now go; but remember--this is what I have to tell you--that never,by night or by day, are you safe. Three men follow you as a guard. Is itnot so? Well, three follow them; Michael's three are never two hundredyards from you. Your life is not worth a moment if ever they find youalone. Now go. Stay, the gate will be guarded by now. Go down softly, gopast the summer-house, on for a hundred yards, and you'll find a ladderagainst the wall. Get over it, and fly for your life."
"And you?" I asked.
"I have my game to play too. If he finds out what I have done, we shallnot meet again. If not, I may yet--But never mind. Go at once."
"But what will you tell him?"
"That you never came--that you saw through the trick."
I took her hand and kissed it.
"Madame," said I, "you have served the King well tonight. Where is he inthe Castle?"
She sank her voice to a fearful whisper. I listened eagerly.
"Across the drawbridge you come to a heavy door; behind that lies--Hark!What's that?"
There were steps outside.
"They're coming! They're too soon! Heavens! they're too soon!" and sheturned pale as death.
"They seem to me," said I, "to be in the nick of time."
"Close your lantern. See, there's a chink in the door. Can you seethem?"
I put my eye to the chink. On the lowest step I saw three dim figures. Icocked my revolver. Antoinette hastily laid her hand on mine.
"You may kill one," said she. "But what then?"
A voice came from outside--a voice that spoke perfect English.
"Mr. Rassendyll," it said.
I made no answer.
"We want to talk to you. Will you promise not to shoot till we've done?"
"Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Detchard?" I said.
"Never mind names."
"Then let mine alone."
"All right, sire. I've an offer for you."
I still had my eye to the chink. The three had mounted two steps more;three revolvers pointed full at the door.
"Will you let us in? We pledge our honour to observe the truce."
"Don't trust them," whispered Antoinette.
"We can speak through the door," said I.
"But you might open it and fire," objected Detchard; "and though weshould finish you, you might finish one of us. Will you give your honournot to fire while we talk?"
"Don't trust them," whispered Antoinette again.
A sudden idea struck me. I considered it for a moment. It seemedfeasible.
"I give my honour not to fire before you do," said I; "but I won't letyou in. Stand outside and talk."
"That's sensible," he said.
The three mounted the last step, and stood just outside the door. Ilaid my ear to the chink. I could hear no words, but Detchard's head wasclose to that of the taller of his companions (De Gautet, I guessed).
"H'm! Private communications," thought I. Then I said aloud:
"Well, gentlemen, what's the offer?"
"A safe-conduct to the frontier, and fifty thousand pounds English."
"No, no," whispered Antoinette in the lowest of whispers. "They aretreacherous."
"That seems handsome," said I, reconnoitering through the chink. Theywere all close together, just outside the door now.
I had probed the hearts of the ruffians, and I did not need Antoinette'swarning. They meant to "rush" me as soon as I was engaged in talk.
"Give me a minute to consider," said I; and I thought I heard a laughoutside.
I turned to Antoinette.
"Stand up close to the wall, out of the line of fire from the door," Iwhispered.
"What are you going to do?" she asked in fright.
"You'll see," said I.
I took up the little iron table. It was not very heavy for a man of mystrength, and I held it by the legs. The top, protruding in front ofme, made a complete screen for my head and body. I fastened my closedlantern to my belt and put my revolver in a handy pocket. Suddenly I sawthe door move ever so slightly--perhaps it was the wind, perhaps it wasa hand trying it outside.
I drew back as far as I could from the door, holding the table in theposition that I have described. Then I called out:
"Gentlemen, I accept your offer, relying on your honour. If you willopen the door--"
"Open it yourself," said Detchard.
"It opens outwards," said I. "Stand back a little, gentlemen, or I shallhit you when I open it."
I went and fumbled with the latch. Then I stole back to my place ontiptoe.
"I can't open it!" I cried. "The latch has caught."
"Tut! I'll open it!" cried Detchard. "Nonsense, Bersonin, why not? Areyou afraid of one man?"
I smiled to myself. An instant later the door was flung back. The gleamof a lantern showed me the three close together outside, theirrevolvers levelled. With a shout, I charged at my utmost pace across thesummer-house and through the doorway. Three shots rang out and batteredinto my shield. Another moment, and I leapt out and the table caughtthem full and square, and in a tumbling, swearing, struggling mass, theyand I and that brave table, rolled down the steps of the summerhouse tothe ground below. Antoinette de Mauban shrieked, but I rose to my feet,laughing aloud.
De Gautet and Bersonin lay like men stunned. Detchard was under thetable, but, as I rose, he pushed it from him and fired again. I raisedmy revolver and took a snap shot; I heard him curse, and then I ran likea hare, laughing as I went, past the summer-house and along by the wall.I heard steps behind me, and turning round I fired again for luck. Thesteps ceased.
"Please God," said I, "she told me the truth about the ladder!" for thewall was high and topped with iron spikes.
Yes, there it was. I was up and over in a minute. Doubling back, I sawthe horses; then I heard a shot. It was Sapt. He had heard us, and wasbattling and raging with the locked gate, hammering it and firing intothe keyhole like a man possessed. He had quite forgotten that he wasnot to take part in the fight. Whereat I laughed again, and said, as Iclapped him on the shoulder:
"Come home to bed, old chap. I've got the finest tea-table story thatever you heard!"
He started and cried: "You're safe!" and wrung my hand. But a momentlater he added:
"And what the devil are you laughing at?"
"Four gentlemen round a tea-table," said I, laughing still, for it hadbeen uncommonly ludicrous to see the formidable three altogether routedand scattered with no more deadly weapon than an ordinary tea-table.
Moreover, you will observe that I had honourably kept my word, and notfired till they did.