I had to laugh at that, “Really? How so?”
“You’re so…untouchable. It makes me very aware that you have the ability to drop me at any given moment. It’s a bit disarming.”
I raised my arms, wrapping them around his neck. “I’d never do that, Chase. When this ends it won’t be because I woke up one morning and thought ‘I’m done’. The second things change for me, you’ll be the first to know.”
The tick in his jaw returned and his eyes turned dark. “See? That’s what I’m talking about right there. You said ‘when this ends’ not if, but when, and that’s fucked up, Quinn.”
I wasn’t going to curb my honesty to spare his feelings. I lacked that kind of basic compassion. “I’m not looking for forever with you, Chase.” I lowered my arms, while his still remained around my waist. “Hell, I’m not looking for forever with anyone. I thought this was supposed to just be for fun. The boyfriend/girlfriend labels just speak to exclusivity. They’re not a gateway to picking out china patterns.”
His face lost all expression as he nodded. “You’re right.” He unwound his arms and stood up straight. “Light and easy,” he leaned down and kissed me on my head. “I can do light and easy.”
He moved around me and unlocking the door, walked out without another word.
I think I may have just fucked this up.
Chapter 13
Greed: Because he’s everything he promised he’d be!
Quinn~
“You’re a goddamn idiot, Q.”
I put my free hand on my hip, stopped still, and replied, “Oh, really, this from the woman who has a living, breathing perfection of fantasy asking her to marry him every morning? If I’m an idiot, what in the hell does that make you, Iz?”
She huffed over the phone. “It’s not the same thing, Quinn. Chase simply wants to be with you without rules and regulations. Julian wants to own my every waking moment. I’m treading lightly because if I don’t, I’ll completely lose myself in him.”
Her words weren’t an exaggeration, and I could hear the emotion behind them. “You really love him don’t you?” I knew what they had was intense, but I hadn’t heard about any declarations of love yet, so I did wonder.
“You promise not to say anything?”
I scoffed, “Pulease…”
“I know, I know. It’s just…I…it’s stupid. I’m stupid,” she bemoaned. “I’m scare he’s too good to be real, Q. I’m scare that as soon as I hand myself over to him he’s going to turn into this other person. Like the Julian he’s showing me now is a trap.”
“Awe, Iz, sweet girl, one thing Julian is not, is fake. What you’re seeing is what you’re getting. And all anyone sees these days is how much that man lives for you. It’s like the only reason he’s able to take a breath is because he knows you exist and you’re with him. That’s some powerful shit, girl.”
“Okay, okay. Nice deflecting. Let’s get back to your stupid bullshit.”
I gasped in justified outrage. “My bullshit is not stupid. It is real and should be handled with patience and care, damn it.”
“You don’t know the meaning of the words ‘patience’ and ‘care’. You’re scare, plain and simple, and you’re being a complete bitch to him because of it.”
“Ace, when did you get on the phone?”
“Not funny, Quinn,” Iz warned. “Look, Q. I get it. I really do, but you’re being so unfair to him. He’s done nothing but show that he wants to be with you and you’re fighting him at every turn. You’re the only one putting limits and stipulations on what you guys are doing, not him. Chase isn’t proposing marriage to you every chance he gets. He just wants to date you and see if it leads to a future with you, if it even leads there. But if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. But you’re not even letting that option be possible.” She took a breath, before continuing, “If you truly do not ever want to get married and/or have children, then end it with Chase now, and go back to the casual sex you used to have.”
Her words caused the pit of my stomach to bottom out. “Chase wants to get married and have children one day?”
“I don’t know if he does or doesn’t, but I do know it’s way more than just meaningless sex for him, and if you don’t have any feelings for him other than appreciation for his dick, then end it now, Quinn, before it gets too ugly to get past.”
“I do have feelings,” I admittedly whispered.
“Then quit being a coward and enjoy it as it is and appreciate where it can go.”
“It’s just hard to love someone when you can lose them, ya know.”
Iz sighed. “I know, but if something were to happen to Avery or me, would all the pain you’d feel make you regret knowing us or having had us in your life?”
I let out a shocked gasp. “Of course not! I love you guys. I’d never…ohhhh…”
“Yeah…oh.”
“I gotta go.”
“Whoa, hey, before you go, I have to ask.”
“What?”
“Is he as good as he looks like he should be?”
I thought about how to answer her and then it hit me. “Uh, wasn’t there something said about the best I’ve ever had and the best I will probably ever have?”
“I knew it!” she exclaimed.
“Okay, I really gotta go and beg forgiveness,” I said and hung up on her laughing at me.
The heartless wench!
I texted Chase and prayed that he’d answer.
Where r u?
I got an immediate reply and I can’t say it didn’t make me feel relieved as hell.
Still @ work. Got sum last minute shit 2 finish up
How much longer do u think ull b?
About an hour…u ok? Everything ok?
Yeah…I was just thinking of u…that’s all.
Miss you 2, babe
I threw my hair up in a messy bun and took the fastest shower known to man. I scrubbed everywhere, and thank God, I took care of all my smooth spots earlier this week. I raced around as I put on my most cherished and expensive black lace bra and panty set and finished off my look with enough make-up to accentuate my feature but keep random men from approaching me and asking ‘how much’. I grabbed my black overcoat that fell just above the knee and put on my sexiest black heels. It was Friday night, so it wouldn’t look unusual to be dressed as if I’m going out.
I made it to SMA in less than ten minutes, and another shout out to God, my new promotion gave me access to the building after set working hours.
After signing in with the guard, and giving him some lame excuse that I forgot some weekend work at my desk, I jumped into the elevator and pushed the button to the top floor.
My heart raced faster with every floor that passed. I knew it was anxiousness because it seemed like I was always apologizing to Chase, and now that I’ve realized that I wanted to really try, I was worried that this would finally be one sorry too many.
The elevator door opened, and you know what? Dark building offices after hours are creepy as hell. I had an unwelcomed vision of the scene in The Shinning when those weirdo twins are standing at the end of hallway.
I shuttered the thought away.
I got to Chase’s office door and knocked lightly as I opened it up. I walked in and my heart leaped into my throat.
He was hunched over his desk and he looked hot as hell with his tie off, collar unbuttoned and his sleeves rolled up showcasing those muscled, tattooed forearms.
He also did not look happy to see me.
I stopped a couple of feet away from the front of his desk. “Hey.”
He tossed his pen on the desk and leaned back in his chair. I could see his jaw clench as his gaze took inventory of my appearance from the bun perched on the top of my head to the heels on my feet. He didn’t hold back when his eyes returned to mine. “Is this you proving your insistence of light and easy? Did you text to make sure I wouldn’t be around to ruin your obvious plans to go out tonight?”
I totally deserved that, but it stun
g like hell, nonetheless.
I shook my head, but held his stare the best I could. “No. I’m here for you.”
His face said it all.
He didn’t believe me.
He didn’t trust me.
He couldn’t trust that I wasn’t fucking with his head.
He raised a brow. “You’re here for me?”
“Yes, but I realize if you’re still here, you must be super busy and this probably isn’t a good time to talk. I can…I’ll…” I didn’t know what to say. I felt like a fool. Chase wasn’t happy to see me, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized why should he? I’ve been nothing but a bitch to him since we met because of my issues, not his.
He let out a deep sigh. “It’s fine, Quinn. You’re already here and knowing you having something to talk about that’s so important you came down here at damn near eight at night, I doubt I’ll be able to concentrate if you left without saying whatever it is you feel you need to say.”
Damn.
If that wasn’t an example of a man who was tired of trying, then I didn’t know what was. It was almost enough to make me rethink what I was doing. “Are you sure? We can talk lat-”
“I said it was fine, Quinn.” That was the second time he’s called me Quinn. Or was I being so self-absorbed that I was making this all about me? He’s here on a Friday with another hour’s worth of work to finish up. Maybe he’s just tired because it’s been a long week. Maybe he’s irritated because he had originally had planned on not even coming in today.
Maybe I’m just a fucking idiot.
“God, this was such a bad idea.” I threw my arm out towards him. “Here you are working really late on a Friday night and I stop by interrupting you with my ridiculous nonsense.”
His face finally softened a bit before he said, “Why don’t you let me decided if it’s ridiculous nonsense or not.”
“I…I just wanted to apologize for earlier.”
“Okaaay…and you needed to do that now? It couldn’t have waiting until tomorrow or-”
“No!” I blurted out.
This time both his eyebrows rose. “Then by all means, continue.”
I remembered what Izzy said about Julian and it seemed to fit this situation as well. “My…uh…I, uhm…my hesitation with what we’re doing is because…” God, why was this so hard?
“Because?” he prompted softly.
Fuck, this shit was difficult. Baring your soul to another human being, asking them to accept you with all your faults and flaws, was hard as hell. “I sometimes scare myself with wondering if you’re too good to be true,” I finally admitted. “I push you away and try to keep you at arm’s length because I’m not sure how I’ll handle the other shoe dropping.”
Whew! There. I said it.
He cocked his head to the side and regarded me a moment before finally asking, “Why are you so sure the other shoe will drop?”
“Fear,” I admitted.
“Fear?”
“Yep,” I confirmed. “I wish I had a more creative answer, but I don’t. The pain of losing my parents still stings after all these years. But children are conditioned to accept that their parents are supposed to die before them. What…what if…” I could do this. “What if I fall in love with you and you die on me? Then what?”
And just like Isabella said, he replied, “Then you just be thankful for the time you did have with me and one day, with time, those memories will make you smile instead of cry, Quinn.”
“Okay.” I was ready to quit being afraid of life. I just wasn’t sure if Chase was ready to give me another chance.
He was silent for a bit before he lifted the corner of his lip. “Why are you dressed like you have a stripper pole reserved for you if you just came by to apologize?”
“Oh,” I swatted a hand at him. “I always have a Plan B.”
He full on smirked at me. “So what’s Plan B?”
I held his gaze as I started unbuttoning my overcoat and let it drop to the floor. I stood there damn near naked in clothing and emotions.
Chase stilled, taking me all in and I knew I surprised him. “I like Plan B’s.”
Chase~
I sat there starting at the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I should have told her the truth. I should have told her I loved her, instead of telling her I liked Plan B’s. Don’t get me wrong, Plan B was looking as hot as hell, but that wasn’t what was on the tip of my tongue.
Not exactly sure when I fell in love with her, but watching this tough as nails woman stand in front of me, scared and full of insecurity, telling me how she cares but she’s scared, made me realize she really was brave as fuck. I need complete honesty and right or wrong, she’ll always be honest and that’s why I never stood a chance.
I rolled my chair back a bit. “Come here, babe.” I enjoyed every sultry step as she made her way to me and then suddenly, my mind was assaulted with visions of this fierce, potent creature crawling to me on her hands and knees. My dick swelled to the point of pain at the image. I had no doubt that if I could get Quinn to crawl to me, I could rule the universe.
She stood in front of me and I almost attacked, but I wanted more. Selfish, I know. But I still wanted more. “No more hiding, Q,” I said, obliterating the one thing that kept getting in the way. “I’ll treat you with the upmost respect and work with you professionally, but no more hiding.”
“Chase…”
“No, Quinn.” I stopped her. “If you’re going to be with me, then you’re going to be with me. And what we’re going to have and what we’re going to be building towards will supersede everything and everyone else. You can’t stop or control the tongues of jealous, petty people. No matter what you do, they will find a way to tear down all your successes, so why limit and handicap what we have for them?”
She put her hands on her hips-a sure sign that she was about to get sassy-and raised a brow at me. “Fine, on one condition, Chase,” she said, laying down a rule of her own. “You don’t approach me unless you have to professionally. You let Julian be my boss like he’s supposed to be.”
She was fucking killing me standing there dressed in nothing and telling me how I needed to stay away from her during business hours. “Fine, on the condition that if I have to stay away from your during the day, I better get to fuck you every night.”
She smirked a little. “Well, Mr. Alexander, last I checked it was already night.”
I shot my arms out, snaking them around her and pulling her to straddle my lap. She threw her head back, let out a laugh and it was all I wanted to ever hear from here on out. I leaned forward and stuck my face in her cleavage. Her skin smelled like sweetness and her body felt like my future.
Quinn finished laughing and looked back down at me. “Can I tell you something without your ego swelling to an impossible size?”
“Babe, I can feel the heat from your pussy, so I know you can feel just how swollen my ego already is.” She didn’t laugh at me like I expected her to. Instead, she wrapped her arms around my neck toying with my nape. She looked so serious. I wasn’t used to a serious Quinn. A pissed off, sarcastic, drunk, hilarious Quinn, yeah…but not a serious one.
She leaned in close until I could feel the breath from her lips against my ear. “You’re the best fuck I’ve ever had, Chase,” she whispered.
The hold I had on her hips tightened hard enough to make her whimper. “Thank fuck.” I breathed out. Call it love, call it obsession, call it basic male ego, but I relished in that reaffirmation. If I had any chance of tying her to me forever, I had better be the best goddamn fuck she’s ever had. I had a feeling fucking her into submission was going to be how we would settle a lot of our fights in the future, so I needed to keep her drunk off my dick.
I pushed up fitting my cock perfectly in between her pussy lips. She let out a quiet moan and I realized how much I was beginning to crave that sound. “Tell me what you want, Quinn.”
Her chest was still pressed against me and
her lips were still at my ear when she murmured, “This apology is for you, Chase. So, you tell me how you want it.”
I closed my eyes in pure fervor. “You can’t give me unlimited permission like that, babe. I’ll have you bent over my desk with my cock buried in your ass saying shit like that.” I wasn’t kidding either. Being inside Quinn drove me to unreasonable distraction, having access to her body with no limits would make me fucking crazy.
She rubbed her cunt across my bulge as she pulled back and was able to look down at me being perched on my lap. She looked flushed, her eyes glazed over and she turned on the seduction like nothing I have ever seen before. She leaned down and started placing little kisses all over my lips as she shared in a voice that had me almost cumming in my pants. “I’ve never been fucked in the ass, Chase. Do you think you can fit that big cock of yours in my tight, little hole?”
Fuck. Me.
Last night was a chaos of pent up sexual anticipation that had us all over each other, but this…I don’t know what the fuck this was. But if I wasn’t already hooked, I definitely was now. I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on her right shoulder to try to gather myself. I was any second away from using her body with no regard for her pleasure, safety or sanity. “Quinn, baby, you can’t…you just can’t say things like that to me. Christ on The Cross, Quinn, you just can’t.” I took a deep breath. “My need for you will have me taking you in ways you never imagined and in places you’d never approve of.”
I could feel her chest begin to heave and her breath was labored in my ear. She started rubbing herself hard across my dick and then she damn near broke my mind. “Why don’t we wait for that, until we’re home and I can soak in a hot tub afterwards to…uh, ease the discomfort,” she suggested. She gave a small laugh. “Because I’m fairly certain that by the size of your dick, Chase, there’ll be some discomfort.”
Chasing Quinn Page 16