“Scared is scared, Chase, no matter what the reason. You think I’m not tied up in knots everyday over the possibility of losing her? My entire existence revolves around her. What if she gets sick? What if she falls out of love with me? What if she falls in the hands of another sick fuck like Eric?”
“Chase, whether the relationship is perfect or flawed, living for another person’s love is scary no matter what the circumstance.” Goddamn Julian and his wisdom. “I try not to think of losing Isabella because I’ll go insane, but it doesn’t mean that fear isn’t always there skimming the surface of my sanity.”
I lifted my head and flitted a look between both of them before settling my gaze on Julian. “So, then, what’s the answer? How do I fix this fucking mess?”
Julian shrugged a shoulder. “At this point, my advice is to not give her a choice.”
I arched a brow. “That’s your advice for everything Julez.”
“I agree with Julian on this one, Chase. You need to quit second guessing yourself and quit trying to be what you think Quinn wants you to be and just be you. I mean, she’s became attracted to the guy who claimed her before she even wanted to be claimed.” Nick leaned back in his chair. “Quit being a pussy, dude.”
I groaned. “Why does it always come back to felony kidnapping?”
Julian snorted. “The way I remember it, kidnapping the girls was originally your idea.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t think we were really going to have to do it,” I confessed.
“It’s clear you underestimated the girls and overestimated our appeal,” Nick pointed out.
Julian got to the heart of a different matter. “If Quinn quits and I have to sit through interviews and get used to someone new, I am going to fuck you up, Chase.”
I let out a half laugh half groan. “If Q quits, I’ll let you.” The guys were silent. “Do you guys think she’ll really quit SMA?”
Nick shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess it all depends on how attractive the offer is.”
Julian stood up. “Look, I gotta go and convince Isabella that you’re not a total dick. Are you going to be okay? If not, I can call her and-”
“Nah, I’m fine, Julez. If you need to, you can tell Izzy all about my obvious mistake if you think it’ll help.”
Nick stood up too. “Same here?”
“Yeah, tell the girls I’m really sorry and it won’t ever happen again.” I stood and gave them each a pat hug. “Besides, I need to call Momma and beg her not to disown me.”
Both Julez and Nick winced. “Yeah, I wouldn’t want to be you right now,” Nick confirmed.
I didn’t bother walking them out since this was every bit their home as it was mine. There was no need for formalities between us.
As soon as the door shut behind them, I dialed Momma. “Hey, Momma.”
“Chase Maximillian, you are lucky I am taking your phone call, at all, right now young man!”
Ouch!
I tried not to wince, but this was my momma. “Momma, I know-"
“No you don’t know,” she countered. “I cannot believe you brought some random woman to my home and paraded her around in front of the girls. Even if Quinn wasn’t in attendance, don’t you think Avery and Isabella deserve more respect than what you showed them? Not to mention Nick and Julian? You put them in a horrible position with the girls and all because you’re too hot headed to think before you act!”
“Momma-”
“Do not ‘Momma’ me, Chase. I am so upset with you right now. You have completely lost yourself that you don’t even realize what you’ve done,” she ranted.
“I do realize what I’ve done. I was selfish and immature and-”
“You were more than that, Chase,” she barked. “Let me ask you something, son.”
Oh fuck…
“Explain to me how it was okay for you to be so wrapped up in your heartache that it was okay to parade another woman in front of the woman you claim to love, but it wasn’t okay for your father to be so wrapped up in his misery that it wasn’t okay for him to parade all those other women in front of me?”
My entire body when numb.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t see.
I couldn’t move.
It felt like every emotion swirling around me was reaching up to choke the life out of me.
And just when I thought my skin was going to crawl off my body, my mother continued to show no mercy. “You came to me and told me you loved that girl, but it’s clear that you don’t or you don’t truly understand what real love is, Chase. You don’t run the first time the person you love hurts you, you don’t run the first time the person you love disappoints you, because if your love for them is strong and true, then it will fight for that person. If that was the case, there would never be a relationship that lasted past the first fight!”
I gritted my teeth. “I do love her.”
“Oh really? Because from where I’m standing, if you truly love her but can do what you did to her, then it seems as if you owe your father an apology after all these years,” she brutally threw at me.
I lost it.
And I lost it on my mother.
“I don’t owe that sonofabitch anything! I am not like him! I am not married to Quinn. I don’t have children with her. She’s the one who kicked me out of her apartment. She’s the one who said we were through. She has no right to be mad, no matter how many women I bring to a barbeque or how many women I fuck after she threw me away! I am not like him at all!”
I had never heard my mother’s voice so calm and soothing, “My mistake, Chase. I didn’t realize love wasn’t real if there wasn’t a marriage certificate and kids to prove it. What a shame it’s going to be when the news is broken to Julian that he doesn’t really love Isabella. Maybe Nick should save his ‘I love you’s’ for after Avery says ‘I do’. I guess we’ve had it backwards all this time. You get married first and then you fall in love…hmmm.”
“Momma…I…this is…” I couldn’t even speak. How could I feel so much pain, regret, confusion and shame all at once?
“As much as it pains me to say this, son, I think you need to move on from Quinn. Your relationship has proven that you guys aren’t strong enough to withstand arguments and misunderstandings. You probably need to find a woman who’s less volatile and a little more submissive. This way, you won’t ever argue.”
The idea of moving on with any other woman, no matter her personality, made my stomach turn. “I can’t, Momma. All my fears don’t negate what I feel for Quinn.”
“Then I wish you the best of luck, Chase, because you’re going to need it.”
She hung up on me, leaving me disgusted with myself.
What in the fuck have I really done this time?
Chapter 20
Pride: Because I always go down swinging!
Quinn~
It was Monday morning and I was waiting for my first break to talk with Julian. I wanted to let him know that I turned down Nathan’s offer. I had called the girls last night and let them know, and even if Isabella told Julian already, I still felt I needed to tell him face to face. No matter our friendship, he was still my boss and I needed to treat him as such.
The clock finally struck ten and I went off to Julian’s office hoping he wasn’t in a meeting. Julian’s assistant Felicia was, thankfully, at her desk. “Hey Felicia, can you see if Mr. Moretti has a moment to speak with me?”
She smiled up at me. “I know for a fact that he has about twenty minutes before his next meeting. You can go on in, Quinn.”
I knocked lightly on his door before opening it up. I walked in and made my way to his desk. Julian’s office was every bit as serious as he was. Everything was spit polished perfection and the only personal thing he had in the entire room was a picture of Izzy on his desk. “Hey, Julian, you got a minute?”
He put his pen down and focused all his attention on me. “Of course, Quinn. What can I help you with?”
&
nbsp; I sat down across from him as I spoke, “I just wanted to let you know that I didn’t accept the offer from Lipman.”
“I know. Isabella already told me.” Julian rarely smiled, but he was gifting me with one right now.
“I figured she might have, but I still felt it was important to tell you myself.”
Julian leaned forward and steepled his hands together on his desk. “May I ask why you turned them down?”
I sat on my hands to keep them from fidgeting. Julian’s gaze was a mesmerizing thing and his all-knowing eyes made me nervous. “Honestly, the difference in the pay package was too great to ignore. The job itself was very tempting, but eventually I plan on having a family and the cut in pay would have begun to show itself.”
He cocked his head at me. “But wouldn’t there be a husband in that family that would make up the difference?”
I had to laugh. “That’s too funny. Nathan asked me the same thing.”
His forehead furrowed at that. “And what did you tell Nathan?”
“That in the end, it’s my responsibility to provide for my children. It’s not safe to depend on a man who has the option to walk out at any given moment in time.”
Julian’s eyebrows skyrocketed. “Wow. You don’t seem to have a very high opinion of your future husband.”
I lowered my gaze. “It’s just better to be safe than sorry,” I mumbled.
“Quinn, look at me, please.” I lifted my eyes to his. “Are you actively looking for another job?”
I shook my head. “No. No. Not at all, Julian. Nathan’s call was a fluke. It just happened, and his pitch had me curious, but I am not actively looking for another job. I like working here.”
He leaned back against in his chair and asked, “And what about Chase?”
Now it was my turn to cock my head at him. “What about him?” I was determined to hold onto my composure, no matter what. Pride was all that was keeping me together.
“You’re able to work with him without any bias?”
No!
I wanted to lie and give Julian my most professional answer, but I couldn’t lie to the man. He didn’t deserve it and I had a feeling he’d see right through the lie anyways. “I’m going to try my hardest.”
He nodded, satisfied with my answer. “Okay, I suppose there’s no time like the present to see if you can.”
“Huh?”
Julian picked up a large manila envelope and held it out to me. “These need to go to him. Do you think you can deliver these for me, Ms. Erickson?”
I stood up, smooth my skirt down and reached out to take the packet. “Yes, I can, Mr. Moretti.” I took the envelope from him with one hand and flipped him off with the other.
He full on laughed at me and I immediately turned stupid.
Julian’s face when he smiled or laughed was a fucking miracle handed down by God, Himself. His dimples made me weak in the knees and his beauty was unparalleled.
Izzy was such a lucky bitch.
He got a teasing gleam in his eyes. “Sorry, I forgot I’m not supposed to smile around you girls.”
I straightened my back and looked haughtily down at him. “I don’t know what you mean.” I turned my back on him and stormed out of his office with his laughter following behind me.
The jackass.
I carried the packet in a serious death grip down the hallway and across the floor to Chase’s office. Nick, Julian and Chase’s offices took up the entire top floor, so I didn’t even have an elevator ride to calm my nerves or lose the packet.
I mean, not that I would ever intentionally lose the packet.
I mean, maybe not.
I’d try not to.
I was coming up on Sylvia’s desk, and because I obviously did something to piss off The Fates, she wasn’t at her desk. I really had planned on just dumping the packet off with her and fleeing back my office like the heartbroken coward I was, but so much for that plan.
I knocked lightly on his door, very much like I did with Julian’s, only this time I waited for Chase to grant me access instead of just walking in. I lost that privilege sometime over the weekend.
I heard his deep, raspy signature voice call out ‘come in’ and so I opened the door. He looked up as I shut the door behind me and my steps faltered.
Why did I shut the goddamn door?
I didn’t need to shut the door to rush over and drop the papers on his desk.
I gathered my inner strength and walked towards him in what I hope was an efficient businesslike manner. “Sorry for the interruption, but Julian asked that I deliver these papers to you, and Sylvia wasn’t at her desk.”
I stopped when I was directly in front of his desk and place the packet in front of him. It was one of the hardest things I had ever done, holding his gaze, but I did it.
We stared at each other for a full twenty seconds before I realized I needed to get the hell out of here. I turned to leave, but before I had even managed to take one step, Chase was standing in front of me blocking my exit route.
I looked up at him. “Did you need me to take something back to Julian?” Please, please, please let this be work related.
“No. What I need is for you to stop and listen for a second.”
I started to panic. The wounds were still fresh and I wasn’t ready to do this with him. “If it’s not work related, Chase, I’m not interested in listening to anything you have to say.” I tried to scoot around him, but he blocked me again.
“Well, it’s not work related, but you’re going to damn well listen anyways.”
I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. “I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but-”
He grabbed me by my arm and stepped so close to me I could feel the heat from his body. “I’m your goddamn boyfriend, Quinn. That’s who the fuck I am.”
I know my eyes must have bugged out of my head. My boyfriend? My fucking boyfriend?!
Was this asshole serious?
“Are you fucking high? You are out of your ever lovin’ mind if you think you can fuck Olivia on Friday and Lydia on Sunday and then come in here and insist you’re my boyfriend,” I hollered. “Right now, Chase, you’re not even my friend!”
“I didn’t fuck Olivia. I already told you how she ended up at my table. And I didn’t, nor have I ever fucked Lydia.”
I took a step to get away from him, but he held me firm. “Spare me the details of your relationship with Lydia.”
“She’s one of my neighbors. Julian kicked my ass sparring Sunday morning and she came over to see if I was okay when she saw me practically crawling out of my car.”
“I don’t care!”
“Well you fucking should!” he thundered at me. “I went by your house Sunday morning and saw you leaving your apartment with Michael, only I didn’t know who Michael was at that time. I thought you were bouncing off with my replacement!”
My mouth fell open as I took a step back. “Are you fucking kidding me?! You think so little of me that you thought I was already fucking someone else a day after our fight?”
He threw his head back and let out an ugly, ugly laugh. “Just like you think so little of me that you thought I’d cheat on you with Olivia, or anyone, for that matter!”
“So what? You invited Lydia to a family affair to spite me?”
“At first that was the point of the invite, but when I realized how stupid it was of me to try to play games with you. I made it perfectly clear to her that she was going as my friend and nothing more. I told her it was as a thank you for checking on me.”
“It doesn’t matter, Chase,” I insisted. “We always seem to find ourselves right back to where you’re having to explain or defend yourself with another woman. I’m cool off that.”
“Because you’re too hot headed to ask me what’s going on. You’re always jumping to the worst conclusion!”
I was so pissed, it’s a wonder my body didn’t combust into fucking flames. “Me?! What the fuck about you? You ended up wit
h Lydia because you thought Michael was my new fuck buddy! But I’m the one who jumps to conclusions? Fuck you, Chase!”
I also knew I should be keeping my voice down. I had no doubt that Sylvia could probably hear us down the hall if she was back, but I didn’t care.
I. Didn’t. Fucking. Care.
And I really didn’t care with the next words that came out of his mouth. “I’ve told you before and I’ll only tell you once more, Quinn. Do not cuss at me,” he spat.
I wasn’t going to let him lay all the blame at my feet and I didn’t give a shit about his no cussing issue. “You’re such a fucking asshole! I tell you I’m a handful and the first time I prove it, you give up and put this all on me. Well, you know what, Chase? I don’t need this shit, so just let it fucking go!”
“You’re right,” he said, surprising me. “I can admit I fucked up, but so did you. And there is no way I’m letting this go. There’s no way I’m letting you go.”
I tried to wrench my arm free, but his hold wouldn’t let up. “You’re not hearing me, Chase. I don’t want to be with you. I’m not attracted to weak men and you have proven that you’re not strong enough to hold me up!”
Chase let go of my arm and jumped back from me like he had been suddenly singed with fire. His blazing sapphire eyes darted around taking in my entire face. He looked like I slapped the fuck out of him and he couldn’t quite believe it.
We stood there staring at one another, our chests heaving with hurt and anger that was suffocating us both.
I didn’t know what to expect when he turned around and opening the door, walked out of his office. I stood there in silent shock for a few seconds before my brain kicked in and told me to get the hell out of here. But before I made it even halfway through the room, Chase returned closing and locking the door.
“Wh...what…ar... are you doing?”
“I’m going to prove to you just how fucking weak I am.”
Oh fuck!
I ran.
Chase~
Quinn managed to make it into the side room and I figured she just saved me the trouble of dragging her into that room by her hair.
Chasing Quinn Page 24