With that goal in mind, he stood to put on his coat. He would take Grace her book, and show her he was a nice guy. He only hoped she didn’t slam the door in his face.
ooooooooo
As she closed and locked the door behind herself, Grace leaned against the wall breathing heavily. Her heart was racing, and her hands shaking. What was she so scared of? All he did was talk to her… Was she ever going to get past that feeling of fear that seemed to have taken root in the recesses of her heart? After dropping her book bag in her room, she moved to the kitchen to fix herself something to eat. Hannah had yet to come back, and all Grace wanted to do was take a shower and go to bed.
After practically inhaling a peanut butter sandwich, she moved down the hall to take a shower, finally ending up in her room. She pulled on a pair of NYU soccer sweats, and pulled her hair into a messy bun. Sweats had become her usual attire. She’d grown used to covering herself in lose baggy clothing that showed off as little of her shape as possible. She hugged herself as a lone tear ran down her cheek when she glanced at a picture of herself with three of her team mates. They’d just made it to the playoffs, and someone had captured the moment. They were all smiling excitedly as they held up two fingers each. A quiet sob slipped out as Grace began to remember that night in Central Park. Greg had told her he wanted to have “fun”. He seemed understanding when she had turned him down. Glancing back at the photo, she silently asked how could a happy, carefree, girl turn into the one that stared back at her from her mirror.
As she moved to turn off the bedroom light, the apartment phone buzzed. She quickly wiped at her eyes, and cleared her throat as she moved to answer it.
“Hello,” she swallowed.
“Miss Matthew’s, you have someone here to see you…should I send him up?” Harold, the doorman, asked cheerfully.
“Uh, no,” Grace gasped. “I’ll come down.”
She placed the phone back in its receiver and covered her face with her hands. Who could possibly be here? Harold said “he” right? She continued to let the questions spin in her head. What if Greg had found out where she lived? He’d graduated, but he could always come back. He probably already did for Homecoming and all kinds of Greek events.
Deciding that Harold being downstairs was enough protection, Grace grabbed her keys and headed for the elevator, her heart pounding with dread.
ooooooooo
Once the elevator doors opened to the lobby, Grace stepped out, and scanned the room. Harold was sitting behind his desk and a head of brown hair could be seen from a chair on the other side.
“Here she is,” Harold called in the direction of the chair.
Grace’s mouth dropped open as the lean figure from the library stood and advanced forward.
“Hi,” he held out his hand.
Grace released a panicked gasp. “What are you doing here? How did you find me? What do you want?”
“Whoa, slow down,” Justice shook his head. “You left this on the table in the library. I was bringing it back. I found you by a paper inside that had your name on it. Used the student directory to go from there…and I don’t want anything.” He held the book out in front him. “Except maybe to be your friend.”
“I don’t have time for friends,” Grace snapped as she grabbed the book from his grasp.
“Well…if you ever change your mind, I put my address and phone number in there,” he pointed to a piece of paper that was sticking out of the top of the book.
“I won’t,” she glared at him.
With this, Justin turned, and began to head back out onto the street. He didn’t know what he’d done to make her so angry. He didn’t miss the fire burning in her eyes as she glared at him with almost contempt. If he’d stayed and watched her though, he would have seen her clutch the book to her chest and hug it to her while she made her way back upstairs.
Something was different about her, she seemed almost broken. As he made his way back to his apartment, he decided he had to know more about Grace Matthews. He would convince her to be his friend no matter how hard he had to work.
If he only knew the fight he was in for. Grace wasn’t just broken…she was shattered.
Chapter 6
When she awoke the next morning, Grace had a pounding headache. She’s spent most of the night worrying and reliving that awful night two years before. It didn’t matter where she was, or who she was with…being around any guy always brought the memories back. This Justin character probably didn’t mean anything by it, but the fact that he’d found her with such little effort made her wonder if she was truly safe.
She sat up in bed and rubbed her temples as she tried to convince herself to get out of bed and go to class. She could hear giggling coming for the living room. After a few minutes, she stood, pulled her hair back with a tie, and made her way out to face what was probably her newly engaged roommate.
“Is it safe to come in there?” Grace shouted down the hall in the direction of the giggling.
“Yeah, we’re fixing breakfast,” Hannah giggled in response.
“You want to join us?” Matt added.
“Ummm, sure,” Grace mumbled as she headed toward the kitchen.
When she rounded the corner, Grace just about burst into laughter. Hannah was stirring what looked like pancake batter. She had flour on her nose, in her hair, and several hand prints on her shirt. Matt’s usually dark hair was a light gray. He had flour on his cheeks, and all over his rear.
“What happened in here?” Grace darted her eyes between them.
“Whatever do you mean?” Hannah lifted a brow as she turned to look at Grace. “I’m cooking.”
“Cooking usually involves the ingredients being in the bowl,” Matt chuckled.
Grace shook her head at their playfulness, as she turned to take a seat on the couch. Once seated, she grabbed the remote and flicked on the TV. A lone tear made its way down her cheek as she tried to ignore the playful banter going on in the kitchen. She longed for a relationship like Hannah had. Greg had taken away any hope that she had of being in one, though. Now all she thought about was that no man would want her. She was tainted in a way that she felt she could never rid herself of. How could she ever let a man get close to her? How could she ever let her guard down, and just be herself? What did that even mean, herself? She didn’t know who that was anymore.
Before she could think on that anymore, Hannah brought her out of her memories. “It’s about ready if you want to sit at the table.”
“In a minute,” Grace choked out.
“Are you ok?” Hannah came into the room to look her in the eye when she answered.
Grace had a habit of masking her true feelings. She had mastered control over her voice if no one was watching. In order to get her to open up, Hannah usually had to confront her.
“I’m fine, just tired I guess,” Grace huffed as she turned away from Hannah’s gaze.
Before she could turn completely, Hannah noticed Grace’s wet cheek. “You’re not fine. What’s wrong?” Hannah began to move closer.
“It’s nothing, really,” Grace groaned and rolled her eyes.
“Gracelynn Matthews, I’m going to dump flour all over you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong!” Hannah threatened.
“Fine,” Grace sprung to her feet. “You wanna know what’s wrong? Some guy from the library followed me home last night.”
“What?” Hannah’s eyes went wide. “What do you mean…followed you home?”
“You heard me. I was studying last night when you sent me your text. I came back here, ate, showered, then Harold said I had a visitor. When I went downstairs, it was a guy from the library. He said I forgot my book. I just… I don’t want people here that I don’t know. Then seeing you two…” she began to cry. “Seeing you two…it made me realize that I’m never going to have that.”
“Yes, you will,” Hannah soothed as she moved to wrap Grace in a tight hug.
At that moment, Matt came around the corner just
watching the two girls.
“Can I say something here?” he questioned.
Grace nodded and looked over at him.
“I’m not sure who this guy is, but if he came here to bring a book back…then that sounds like just that. He was bringing you your book. As far as not being wanted… that’s never going to happen. You’re a beautiful girl Grace, any guy would be a fool to think otherwise,” Matt turned and went back into the kitchen.
“He’s right,” Hannah shrugged. “As long as this guy doesn’t make a habit of it, I wouldn’t worry about him.”
ooooooooo
Christmas break came and went as the days dragged by, Grace began avoiding the law library. She didn’t want to chance a run-in with Justin. She had vowed months ago that she wasn’t going to trust any guy ever again. There was just too much risk involved.
After a week of studying in the apartment, Grace began to get cabin fever. She knew she needed to get out and be among other people. She never really talked to anyone, but the silence of her room was driving her crazy. Deciding that she’d take a chance, she grabbed her bag, and began to head out to go back to the library.
Once she reached her usual floor in the stacks, she began to weave through the mass of tables and head to her corner. She had her head down as she rounded a shelf of books, and failed to notice the person sitting in her usual seat.
When she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye, her head snapped up, and she tripped over the chair in front of her. As she valiantly tried to go unnoticed, every head in the vicinity snapped in her direction. Grace turned a dark shade of red as she dipped her chin lower to her chest and began to flee.
Before she could get too far away, Justin jumped out of his chair, knocking it backward as he rushed after her.
“Wait!” he whisper shouted as he rushed up behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder lightly.
Grace spun so fast she almost knocked him over with her back pack.
“Don’t touch me,” she gasped as she recoiled away from him.
Justin’s eyes flashed with bewilderment, “Ok, I’m sorry.”
Grace released a breath, “No it’s fine.”
She turned and continued making her way to the door.
“Grace,” Justin called after her. “You know we can share the table, right?”
Grace froze and swallowed, “I can’t be your friend, Justin.”
Completely taken off guard from the change in direction the conversation was going, Justin shook his head, “Um ok, but we can still share the table. I won’t bother you, I promise.”
After a few more moments, Grace squeezed her eyes tight before taking a calming breath, “Alright, we’ll share the table.”
Deciding that this was his chance, and he better not blow it, Justin stepped back, and let Grace pass. Once she was seated, Grace pulled her Biochemistry book from her bag and tossed it on the table.
As the afternoon turned into evening, the two sat in companionable silence. Grace stayed buried in her book, highlighting passages, and taking notes valiantly. Justin would release a sigh every couple of minutes as he thumbed through a large folder of papers. He was hoping to get a job with the District Attorney’s office once he graduated. Working as a prosecuting attorney had been his dream for as long as he could remember. Getting into the New York DA’s office would be a dream come true.
He huffed as he slammed the folder shut and turned toward Grace, “Do you have any plans after this?”
“What?” Grace glanced up. She was so involved in her studying that she’d forgotten that Justin was there.
“I was thinking I’d get something to eat before I head home. Would you like to join me?” Justin tried again.
“No thanks,” Grace thumbed through her book looking for another page.
“Suit yourself, I’m starved,” he stood and tossed his bag over his shoulder. “You think next time you see me, you could come over and not run like I’m chasing you?”
“Whatever,” Grace huffed as she continued to scan the page she was on. She didn’t even bother to look up as Justin turned to walk away.
“See ya,” he called as he headed for door.
Grace didn’t even acknowledge him as she continued to bury nose as far into her book as possible.
ooooooooo
Over the next several days, Grace, and Justin studied in much the same manner. Both would sit at the same table on opposite ends. It was now the final semester for Justin, and getting ready for the bar was at the top of his list. Grace was buried in her Biochemistry and failed to notice the folder that spilled out on the table. When she glanced up, she saw Justin shoving papers into the folder.
“You sure are messy when you study,” Grace lamented.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he quirked his brow at her.
“It means, that you take up most of this table with your stuff when we sit here,” she narrowed her eyes at him.
Justin rolled his eyes, “My work is important. I’m helping people.”
“What exactly do you do?” Grace huffed.
“I’ve got an internship in the DA’s office. I’m hoping to get hired on full time as soon as I graduate and pass the bar exam,” he sighed. “This mess,” he waved his arm in front of them, “is my next case.”
“What’s it about?” Grace prodded.
“I can’t tell you,” Justin reared back as if she’d smacked him. “It’s confidential. In the eyes of my client, I’m a real lawyer.”
“Oh,” Grace gasped. “I didn’t realize. I’m sorry,” she began to grasp at straws to cover her embarrassment. “Is it going well?”
“Not really,” Justin sighed. “The defense has several witnesses that we didn’t know about until the last minute.”
“Oh,” Grace nodded feigning understanding.
“You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” Justin smirked.
“Am I that obvious?” Grace began to smile.
As he zoned in on her lips, Justin smirked, and nodded, “Yeah, you are.” He shrugged his shoulders trying to come off as nonchalant by adding, “It’s nice to see what one of those looks like.”
“One of what?” Grace began to look around scanning the room.
“Your smile,” he shrugged again, “I’ve never seen it.”
Grace sobered her face quickly, “I don’t have many reasons to smile.”
“I don’t find that believable,” Justin rolled his eyes as he slid his chair back and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Well, not all of us have perfect lives like you,” Grace huffed as she leaned back and took the same position. She glared at him, prepared for a stand-off.
She knew Justin had no knowledge of what she’d been through, but she was ready to put him in his place. The way he sat there, arms crossed smirking at her. He was so full of himself.
“You know nothing about me. My life is far from perfect,” he chuckled.
“Yeah, right,” she rolled her eyes. “Try me.”
“Ok… I’m here on scholarship because my dad died in a horrible motorcycle accident during my last year of high school. My mom couldn’t afford to send me to college, so I had to apply for every available aid known to man. My mom spends most days working two jobs just to provide food for my little sister because my dad managed to make sure that we had no savings. He had a gambling problem, and my mom never stood up to him. He even smacked her around every now and then when he decided that she wasn’t doing something to his liking. My little sister, Andrea, is beginning to hang out with the rough crowd at school and my mom’s worried that she’s going to get into trouble soon. I spend all my free time working as a bartender down at Sammy’s on Broadway just to pay for my apartment. So you see…my life is not easy.”
Completely taken aback, Grace’s mouth dropped open at Justin’s rant, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, just don’t judge people you know nothing about,” he sighed. “Not all of us can be locked in a b
ubble of perfection. You girl’s think that all of life’s answers come in the form of a sorority house, or a club of some sort.”
“Excuse me Mr. Don’t Judge? I’m not in a sorority and you know nothing about me,” Grace glared.
“Well, that’s not my fault,” Justin huffed. “You won’t tell me anything about you. Hell, the only reason I know your name is because you left your book behind that day.”
“I’m a private person. I don’t trust people easily,” Grace mumbled.
“Well, you can trust me. I’m going to be a lawyer. It’s my job to keep secrets,” he slid closer to Grace and glanced at her with pleading eyes. “Tell me Grace Matthews, what are you so worried about?”
“I’m late,” Grace moved to stand behind her chair.
“Huh?” Justin looked up.
“I’m late to meet my roommate. I’ll see you later,” she turned and began to walk away.
“Can you at least call me sometime?” Justin called after her.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Grace returned as she slipped through the library door and out into the cold January night.
Chapter 7
When she arrived home, Grace found Hannah perched on the sofa devouring a carton of ice cream. She smirked as she thought about all the times Hannah complained about how hard she had to work in order to get in shape for soccer season. There would be no more training now. They were seniors, and Hannah had played her last season in the fall. Grace shook her head as she moved to walk down the hall.
“What’s the face for?” Hannah called out.
Grace stopped mid-stride, “What face?”
“The one you just gave me,” Hannah rolled her eyes. “I saw it. I may not have been looking right at you, but I saw it.”
Fallen From Grace Page 4