“Yeah…you’re right,” she slumped in her chair with a defeated sigh.
“So…do you want me to file the motion for this deal? Is that what we’ve just decided here?” Justin cocked his head to the side as he wrapped an arm around Grace’s shoulders.
Grace gave a resolute nod, “Yes…I’ll sign the deal. But I do not want to see him under any circumstances,” she snapped.
“You won’t,” Justin shook his head. “Never again!”
With that out of the way the two finished their dinners, each wondering how the previous conversation had altered the ending to their night. Justin was hoping that they hadn’t just taken a step back, and Grace wondered if he thought differently of her since she’d accepted the deal so easily.
ooooooooo
When they arrived back at Grace’s apartment, the couple stood awkwardly at the door. Awareness buzzed in the air between them like a live wire. Justin had used every excuse he could think of to touch her on their walk home, and it hadn’t gone unnoticed by Grace. As she turned to unlock her door, she bit her lip, and lifted her gaze to his. Justin’s throat tightened along with other things. He didn’t think she understood just how alluring she really was. Her innocence shown through in her gestures and the questioning way her eyes blinked up at him.
Before he could stop her, she opened the door and offered a gentle smile, “Would you like to come in?”
Justin nodded as he followed her through the door, “Sure.”
After closing the door and locking it, Grace turned towards him, “We have the place to ourselves. Hannah went home for a few days to deal with wedding stuff.”
Justin gave a tight smile, “Ok.”
“What’s wrong?” her face paled as she took in his sudden change in demeanor.
“Nothing…I’m just surprised, that’s all,” he huffed. “I mean…I just didn’t think….,” he trailed off as his hand rose up to grip the back of his neck, “Never mind.”
“Come on,” she grabbed his hand and led him over to the couch, pulling him down to sit beside her.
“Are we ok?” he asked as he watched her sink her teeth into her bottom lip.
He knew she was fighting with herself, knew that she was having a hard time expressing herself, and knew that he should help her out. He didn’t want to come off as too forward, though. He wasn’t the type of guy to pressure any girl into giving him what he wanted from them, least of all Grace. He wanted her to want him to kiss her, want him to touch her, and want him for so much more. He could see himself settling down with a girl like her.
Bringing him back to reality, she nodded before replying, “We’re great.” She offered a shy smile before scooting closer to him, “Better than great. You’ve saved me in a way I didn’t think I could be saved. You made me see that I can feel again, that I can want perfectly normal things and not feel guilty, and that a man can see the real me.” Her smiled faltered slightly as she watched his face turn from nervous to desire. “I want to be the type of woman you deserve,” she mumbled.
“You are,” Justin pulled her flush against his side. “You are everything I could ever want Grace. You’re smart, caring, beautiful…. I love everything about you.”
Before she could lose her nerve, she crushed her mouth to his in a searing kiss. Justin was completely taken off guard. They’d kissed before, but nothing like this. A light groan bubbled up his throat as he felt her shift and press her chest to his. His right arm then snaked around her waist and pulled her up onto his lap. When she gasped at the movement, Justin took the opportunity to gently probe her mouth with his tongue. As the kiss escalated, Grace felt heat surge between her thighs. Things were going faster than she was ready for and alarms began to sound in her brain. “You have to stop this,” her brain shouted. “He’s going to push you for more.”
When she felt the arm that was at her waist begin to shift lower, she broke the kiss. Both she and Justin were panting from desire, and she quickly turned her face from his scrutiny.
“I’m sorry,” she gasped, “but I can’t.”
“Can’t what?” Justin furrowed his brow.
“Can’t... you know,” she gestured between them.
Justin’s face turned about three shade of red as he tried to calm his nerves. Grace had gotten the wrong impression. She thought he was after something else completely.
“No…I don’t think you know,” he smiled awkwardly at her. “It’s not what you think.”
“Huh?” she gave him a confused look as she slid off his lap to sit beside him once again. As she glanced down at the obvious bulge in his pants, she mumbled, “But I thought…”
Justin chuckled uncomfortably beside her and shifted so his pants fit a little better. Knowing that he needed to be honest with her now more than ever, he rushed the words out in one big breath, “I don’t believe in premarital sex.” He then turned an even darker shade of red as he watched understanding flitter across Grace’s face.
“Wait, what?” her mouth dropped open in the shape of an O.
Justin, now more flustered and embarrassed than ever, took a deep breath and swallowed, “I’m gonna wait. I know that sounds strange coming from a guy, but I want that part of me to be saved for my wife.”
Grace sat there for a minute letting this new information sink in to her addled brain. Justin was a virgin, and he didn’t want to have sex with her. Well, his brain didn’t want to, his body on the other hand did. A small smile curved on her lips as she watched him shift nervously beside her. She didn’t think men like him existed. He was everything she ever wanted, and he wanted her just like she was.
Deciding to put him at ease, she leaned in and placed a light kiss to his lips while mumbling against them, “I think that’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.”
Justin sighed in relief, “So you’re ok with all of this? I mean I know you’re not ready for any of that now, but in the future…you’re ok with it not going past kissing?”
Grace couldn’t believe how open he was being about this. Deciding that she would try to be just as honest, she began to let her fears tumble out of her mouth. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. What if I can’t…you know…when the time comes. What if I can’t let a man touch me like that? Could you really be with someone like that?”
Justin pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head, “Grace…you’ll get there. You’re still trying to get past this. It will happen…you need to give yourself time to heal. You’re just now getting closure.”
“I know, but could you really be with a girl who wasn’t…I mean who had…,” she fought to control her voice.
“Yes…ok? Yes! You didn’t choose to give that away…it was taken from you. You had no say in the matter,” pulling her gaze to his, he stared right into her eyes before pouring as much of himself as he could into his response, “I love you Grace and what you went through is not going to change that.”
“I love you too! How did I get so lucky to find you?” she began to sob.
“It wasn’t luck, it was fate,” he whispered. “Fate brought us together and determination will keep us there.”
“Right,” she nodded.
As they sat there on the couch wrapped in each other’s arms, both silently thanked the powers that be that sent them into the library that day.
Chapter 17
“So…you have to promise me something,” Hannah begged as she bounced on the couch.
She had come back from Boston, and had been secretly planning something for days. Grace had no idea what, but she knew by the way Hannah was acting, that she was up to something.
“I’m not promising you anything until you tell me what it is I’m agreeing to,” Grace rolled her eyes as she continued to place dishes in the dishwasher.
“What’s the fun in that?” Hannah whined.
“We’ve got graduation coming up in a few weeks, and I’ve got too many other things going on right now to agree to something that I know nothing about,�
� Grace sighed as she finished and rounded the corner.
“Other stuff like what?” Hannah quipped.
“Stuff…with Justin,” Grace blushed and remained tight lipped.
“Like?” Hannah continued to prod.
“Like I’m not telling you,” Grace smiled and sat down on the couch. “Whatever it is that you want, you just need to tell me so I can figure out how to tell you no.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Hannah huffed. “I don’t want you to say no.”
“Hannah,” Grace flopped back. “Do you have any idea how busy I am? I’m trying to finish up finals, spend time with my boyfriend, graduate, decide what I’m going to do after graduation…I don’t have a job yet,” she rubbed her eyes. “Your excitement is driving me mad…what is it?”
“Fine…you’re no fun,” she crossed her arms over her chest like a small child. “Katie’s coming down this weekend, and we’re going to have a bachelorette party…for moi.”
“No…no way am I going to one of those,” Grace shook her head frantically.
“Yes, yes you are. You are my best friend,” Hannah stuck her lip out in a pout. “I want my best friend and my sister to go out and celebrate with me. Patrick’s doing something with Matt. I’m sure they would invite Justin,” Hannah giggled.
“What so funny?” Grace narrowed her eyes.
“You,” Hannah pointed and giggled again. “As soon as I mentioned Justin going with them, you got this look on your face. Do you have a problem with him seeing naked women?”
“Who said anything about naked women?” Grace swallowed.
“Nobody, but I bet Patrick will take Matt to a strip club. That’s kinda what guys do. We’re going to one,” Hannah nodded enthusiastically.
“Oh no we are not,” Grace wagged her finger between them. “You might be, but I’m not.”
“Oh come on Grace, please?” Hannah begged. “I’ll owe you one. I just want to have fun for one night, and not worry about all the other things going on. Please?”
Grace sighed and squeezed her eyes shut, “Fine…I’ll go, but you better not let anyone touch me. Do you understand?”
“Got it…no touching,” Hannah gave a quick nod and then erupted in a fit of giggles. “We’re going to have so much fun.”
ooooooooo
When Saturday finally arrived, Hannah, Katie, and Grace were all fighting for mirror space while the guys talked and joked in the living room. Since Katie and Patrick were married already, they had come together and were planning to stay in a hotel right down the street. Katie had wanted to get ready with the girls, so she had brought her things to Hannah’s apartment. Grace had been battling her nerves most of the day. She wanted to go out with them, she really did. She kept thinking about the last time she had let loose, though. Memories of the notorious frat party swirled through her head. She fisted her hands at her side at took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves.
“You ok?” Katie glanced over at Grace.
Grace had told Katie about what happened to her right after the settlement had gone public. She hadn’t seen any need to hide it anymore. Greg was in jail now, and all the local news stations had made sure to let everyone know that their beloved soccer star and NYU alum had been arrested on sexual assault charges.
Grace nodded, “Yeah, just a little nervous. I haven’t been out in a long time.”
“Don’t worry,” Katie gave her a light hug “We’ll take care of you. Nothing bad is going to happen tonight. We’ve got a limo, and I’ll cut you off if you drink too much.”
“I don’t know if I’ll be drinking tonight,” Grace huffed. “I mean the last time…” she trailed off.
“Stop thinking about the last time,” Hannah glanced to the side as she put the tube of mascara that was in her hand away. “That’s not going to happen tonight, you’re with us.” She smiled as she reached for the rhinestone tiara that was sitting on the vanity with a short veil attached. After placing it on her head just right, she turned, and grinned, “The place where we’re going…the men aren’t allowed to touch you.”
“You can touch them though,” Katie waved a big stack of one dollar bills in Hannah’s face.
“Huh?” Grace wrinkled her forehead.
“We are going to look at men,” Hannah stressed. “They will be dancing for us,” she waited for understanding to cross Grace’s face. “The people in the club will all be women…putting these,” she waved the money at Grace “in the dancer’s underwear.”
Grace swallowed, “They’re not allowed to touch?”
“No,” Katie shook her head.
“Ok, I can do this,” Grace nodded feeling better about the night already. “Are you sure I look ok?” she glanced at Hannah again.
“Yeah, I wish you would have worn what I picked out for you though,” Hannah sighed.
“Um no,” Grace shook her head. “That top didn’t have a back.”
“Yeah…and you looked hot,” Hannah nodded as she took in her appearance one last time. “Let’s go,” she giggled as she turned the knob on the door.
ooooooooo
“You are not wearing that,” Matt shook his head when the girls emerged from the bathroom.
“Uh, yeah I am,” Hannah rolled her eyes. “You don’t get to decide what I wear, Matt.”
Hannah had on a small black miniskirt with a fuchsia sequined top. The amount of skin showing was staggering. Hannah never dressed so sexy. Katie had on a pair of skinny jeans and a silver top, one that Patrick was currently admiring as his eyes began to darken with desire from across the room. Grace was the most conservative of them all…wearing a sleeveless pale pink top and a denim skirt.
“You better not drink too much tonight,” Patrick mumbled as he moved to press his chest to Katie’s back. “I have big plans for you when you guys get back,” he leaned in and placed a kiss to the side of her neck.
Katie swallowed and sighed, “You do?”
“Um hmmm,” he mumbled as he dug his fingers into her hips pulling her bottom so it brushed against his excitement.
“Patrick,” she gasped.
He chuckled and released her as he watched her face flame. He knew she was feeling it too. It had only been six months since they married, but he knew all her signals. He knew what she wanted and when she wanted it, without her having to voice it.
Across the room, Hannah was pulling a bottle of Patron out of the cabinet along with several shot glasses. “Come on guys…let’s do one for the road.”
“You are vision tonight, woman,” Matt grumbled behind her. “How am I supposed to go out with the guys knowing you look like that?”
Hannah grinned a naughty grin and turned to face him. The rest of the group had stayed in the living room, even though they’d been called to the kitchen. Matt figured they were trying to give Hannah and him some space.
She ran her hands up his arms and locked them behind his neck as she rose up on her tip toes to place a kiss to his lips. “The only man I care about looking at me, is staring at me right now. I don’t care about anybody else’s opinion. You need to trust me like I trust you,” she sealed her declaration with a kiss.
Matt stumbled backward as she pressed her hips into his, and deepened the kiss. As the couple was lost in their own world, the rest of the group came waltzing around the corner. Justin cleared his throat as he reached for the bottle of tequila.
“Um…are we going to do this or what?” he chuckled.
“Let’s do this,” Hannah smirked as she watched Matt try to recover from the kiss.
As she lined up the shot glasses on the counter and uncorked the bottle, she grinned at Katie who had grabbed the limes out of the fridge.
“Bottom’s up,” Patrick grinned as he reached for a glass.
One-by-one each member of the group tossed their head back as they downed the fiery liquid. As each began to pull the lime wedge from their mouths, Hannah glanced over at Grace who was eyeing her shot with narrowed eyes. It was almost l
ike she was trying to convince herself to partake in the fun.
“It’s ok if you don’t want to,” Hannah offered. She didn’t want her best friend to feel like she was obligated to. After all, she really didn’t even want to come out tonight, she was doing it because she begged her.
“No…I want to do this,” she whispered. “I need to do this.”
She wanted to claim her life back, her college life that Greg had taken away. She had given up all the parties and normal college activities for fear of it happening again. Justin reached over and ran a comforting hand down her arm, eliciting goose bumps in its wake. She glanced at him and then back to the shot. Just as she was getting ready to down it, Justin reached out, and started to take it from her.
“Hey, get your own,” she frowned at him and then giggled nervously and wrapped her fingers around it.
He cocked his head to the side and smirked before nodding at her, “Go ahead then.”
She picked up the glass of clear liquid and scrutinized it before placing it to her lips. In one fluid motion, she tossed her head back and swallowed. As the burn made its way down her throat and into her belly, she shivered. Grabbing the lime, she quickly shoved it in her mouth and bit down, causing the juices to squirt out and coat her tongue. After a few moments, she removed it, and grinned at Justin.
“That’s my girl,” he chuckled before leaning in and placing a light kiss to her lips.
“Ok, ok…let’s get out of here,” Katie rolled her eyes. “We’ve got a lot more of that to do at the club.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Hannah laughed before she turned to Matt. “Have fun tonight, but remember where your bread’s buttered baby.”
Matt groaned, “You sure you don’t want to reconsider this whole “wait until after the wedding to be together again” thing?”
“I’m sure…it will make it special,” she giggled before she ran her hand down his chest, across his abs, and stopped just shy of the promised land.
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