“A seductress, Duchess.” Picking up a long blonde tendril from between her breasts, he twirled it idly around his finger. “You’re a bluidy seductress.”
“I am, aren’t I?” she said, inordinately pleased with the compliment. At least, she believed it was meant as a compliment. Either way, she was taking it as such. “Well, I think it’s safe to say – at least, I hope it’s safe to say – you’re done with running away from me.” No sooner had she spoken, however, than a flicker of anxiety dampened the glow of her happiness. Biting her lip, she peered up at him beneath her lashes. “Are you done?”
For Amelia, their lovemaking had been the punctuation on a long, often tumultuous (but never boring) courtship. But what she thought of as a period perhaps Tobias regarded as a question mark, and her stomach knotted as she waited for his reply.
The past twenty days had been some of the most blissful of her entire life. Every morning she woke she counted down the seconds until she could see Tobias. Until they could steal away together. Until he kissed her, and held her, and they romped through the meadows and the woods like children. And every night she fell into a peaceful, exhausted slumber, her nightmares vanquished by a knight with ebony hair and black eyes flecked with red gold. A knight that was by turns stubborn and complicated, affectionate and cold. But he was her knight, and she was his duchess, and Amelia had never known such joy.
Finally someone loved her for who she was, not who they wanted her to be. Not for who her parents were. Not for how much her dowry was worth. Tobias loved her because of her strong-willed nature, not in spite of it. More than that, he understood her. Sometimes even better than she understood herself.
But there was a part of her that couldn’t help but wonder if their newfound happiness was only fleeting. A part of her that feared what would occur when the summer came to an end and they returned to London. A part of her that doubted Tobias would stay the man he’d become. That he could stay.
After all, the monster he’d spent five years of his life looking for was still out there. Temporarily forgotten, perhaps, in the rolling countryside and the bright sunshine. But not gone. The Slasher wasn’t gone, and neither was the man who had hunted him.
She still caught glimpses of Tobias’ beast every now and then. A curled lip. A menacing stare. A snapped word. Little reminders of the demons who had consumed him not so very long ago. Demons that would always be a part of him. And she didn’t mind, because she loved both sides of Tobias. The dark and the light.
But did both sides of him love her?
“Tobias?” she said when he remained silent. “Did you – did you hear me?”
“I heard ye.” But instead of reassuring her, instead of telling her she was silly to be concerned, he gently set her aside and stood up. “We need to get dressed. If we’re gone for too long, your mother may become suspicious.”
“And what if she does?” Amelia shook grass off her drawers before slipping into them one leg at a time. She pulled her shift over her head and then reached for her gown, having forgone a corset in favor of comfort. Pale blue with white lace trim and capped sleeves, the dress gathered at her bosom before falling away from her body.
“If she does what?” asked Tobias, being purposefully evasive as he stretched his arms through his gray linen shirt and shoved the hem into his trousers. Sitting down to yank on his boots, he kept his gaze on the ground, only looking up when Amelia marched over and stood directly in front of him.
“Become suspicious.” Jabbing pins into her hair, she concealed the tousled curls underneath a large straw bonnet. “She’s going to have to find out about us eventually. My father as well. Wouldn’t it be better to tell them sooner rather than later?”
Tobias shaded his eyes from the sun as he jumped to his feet. “What is it ye propose we tell them? That I took their daughter’s virginity beside a bluidy well?”
“I don’t know if they’d like to hear the specifics.” She pursed her lips. “But it’s time we tell them something. Because you’re right, they’ll begin to suspect soon. And even if they didn’t, I do not like carrying on in secret.”
“Neither do I.”
Was the damned man going to make her do everything herself?
Resisting the urge to stick her tongue out at him in frustration, she snapped her fingers together instead. “I’ve got it! We could do what everyone else does when they find themselves falling in love.”
“Which is?” he said warily.
“Get married.” Honestly. Was she really going to have to propose to herself? “Gretna Green isn’t too far from here, and if we left tonight–”
“No.”
“No?” Her brow creased. “What do you mean, no?”
Tobias’ jaw clenched. “I’ll not ferry ye away in the middle of the night like some evil villain stealing the princess from the ivory tower. Our relationship, whatever it is we have between us, is nothing tae be ashamed of.”
Amelia’s jaw dropped. “Ashamed? I’m not ashamed of us, Tobias. I never have been, and I never will be. I wish I could say the same of my parents. Truly, I do. But you have to know they wouldn’t approve of me marrying a commoner. My father would never give his permission. Which leaves us with Gretna Green. It’s not such a terrible idea, is it?” she implored, laying her hand on his chest. “I actually think it’s rather romantic. My aunt ran away to Gretna Green, you know. To marry a gardener.”
“I didn’t know your aunt was a widow.”
“She’s not,” Amelia admitted. “The marriage never took place, unfortunately. Her father – my grandfather – arrived before they said their vows and forced her to return home.”
“And what’s to stop that from happening tae us?” Tobias said harshly.
“I won’t let it. You won’t let it. We won’t let it.” Something in the hard lines of his face gave her pause and when she spoke next her voice was very, very small. “Don’t you want to marry me?”
He raked a hand through his hair as he stepped back. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t – you don’t know?” The knife slashing through her arm had hurt less. “You love me. You told me I was your – your – well, I don’t remember the words in Gaelic, but you said I was your bright love! How can I be your bright love if you don’t want to marry me?”
The edges of his mouth tightened. “Why are you so certain you want tae marry me?”
“Because I love you, you great big sodding idiot!” Perhaps not the best way to convince him, but it got her point across. “Do you need me to get down on one knee? Will that convince you? Here, I’ll–”
But he grabbed her arm and wrenched her upright before her leg could touch the ground. “Don’t be so bluidy dramatic,” he said through clenched teeth.
Amelia’s eyebrows sailed towards her bonnet. “Me being dramatic? I’ve got a pocket mirror in my reticule if you’d like to take a gander at your own reflection.” She drew a deep breath and struggled for calm. “Tobias, I do not want to argue with you.”
“But that’s exactly what we would do if we were married,” he said flatly, releasing her arm. “Except we’d be arguing in a house the size of your bluidy bedchamber closet and ye wouldn’t be wearing nearly as fine a gown as that one. Is that what you want?”
She shook her head in bewilderment. “I don’t understand.”
“How could ye?” he said with a bitter laugh. “You’re a duchess, after all.”
They returned to Aunt Constance’s cottage wrapped in icy silence. But just when Amelia thought things couldn’t get any worse she was proven wrong for there, standing by the front door waiting for them, was Tommens.
And he did not look pleased.
“Your mother would like to have a word, Lady Amelia.”
Oh no. Amelia’s pulse began to race and it was a struggle to keep her voice steady. “Where – where is she?”
“Waiting for you in the front parlor,” the butler replied.
“I see.” Amelia turned, but when To
bias went to follow her Tommens cleared his throat and stepped between them.
“I am sorry, Mr. Kent, but Her Grace has made it clear I am to accompany Lady Amelia from now on.”
“Why the bluidy hell would she do that?” Tobias demanded.
Tommens cleared his throat. “Because you have been terminated from your post. Effective immediately.”
Chapter Eighteen
“You had no right to let Tobias go!” Amelia cried as she burst into the parlor. The Duchess of Webley did not look up from her game of patience.
“I believe I had every right.” Selecting a new card, Vanessa examined it for a moment before discarding it face down. “Why is it I can never pick up a king when I need one? I suppose it only goes to show how important finding the right type of gentleman is.” Steely blue eyes met Amelia’s from across the room. “There are plenty of jacks, you see. I’ve already turned up three. But they’re completely useless to me. Do you know why?”
“I can assure you I don’t care.” Hands on her hips, Amelia stalked to the small playing table, trailing anger and indignation in her wake. “Mother, you do not understand–”
“It is because jacks wield no power. They have no wealth or title, which renders them insignificant. And you’re wrong, darling.” A sliver of sympathy cut through Vanessa’s icy façade. “I do understand. More than you know. Which is why I did what needed to be done. Now we can move on, and forget all about your unfortunate dalliance.”
“Forget? I am not going to forget Tobias.” Amelia stared at her mother in disbelief. “I love him!”
“Oh my dear sweet child,” Vanessa murmured. “I know you think you do, but in truth love makes for an unreliable bedfellow. I know you cannot see it now, but I’ve done you a favor.”
Fury washed over Amelia in a blinding wave of red. “What do you know about love? You never loved Father. If you did, you wouldn’t have had an affair!”
Vanessa’s face went bone white, then flooded with color. “Who told you that?”
Amelia set her jaw. “It doesn’t matter who told me.”
“It was my sister, wasn’t it?” Shoving her chair back, Vanessa leapt to her feet and pressed her knuckles into the table. “Damn Constance. Damn her.”
“So it’s true.” Amelia didn’t know why she felt surprised. Probably because she’d been secretly holding out hope Aunt Constance was confused, and her mother really hadn’t cuckolded her father. But she could see the guilt on Vanessa’s face plain as day, and she bit down hard on the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from saying something she would later regret.
“Yes.” Lifting her chin, Vanessa walked to the window and braced her fingers on the sill. “It’s true. I was young and impulsive and I made a mistake. A horrible mistake. Do you know why I did it?” She pierced her daughter with a cool stare over her shoulder. “Do you know why I slept with him? Why I almost ran away with him? Because I fancied myself in love,” the Duchess of Webley sneered when Amelia remained silent. “I risked everything for it. And I would have lost everything, if not for your father.”
“Is that why you’ve stayed with him all these years? Out of obligation?”
Vanessa looked back at the window. “I remained with him because he is my husband. He is the Duke of Webley and I am the Duchess of Webley and that is the life I chose for myself. And if there is any way to save you from the mistakes I made and the anguish I suffered because of them, I am going to do it.”
“But I am not making your mistakes. I’m trying to avoid them!” How could she make her mother understand? “If you were happy in your marriage, truly happy, then you never would have strayed. Well I am happy with Tobias, Mother. I know he’s not who you imagined for me. I know he’s not what you want. But he’s what I need.”
Vanessa whirled around. “You need a man who can provide for you. Can Mr. Kent give you a title?”
“No, but–”
“Can he give your children a title?”
“That’s not important–”
“Where will you live? How will you feed yourself? Clothe yourself? What will you do when Society casts you aside? Because they shall.” She took a menacing step forward. “They shall cast you aside without a second thought and will take devilish delight in doing so. There’s not a lady who will receive you. Not a lord who won’t turn his back on you. You’ll be a pariah, Amelia. An outcast.”
Amelia’s eyes flashed. “I don’t care what the ton thinks, and anyone who treats me ill because of who I choose to marry was never my friend to begin with. As for the rest, Tobias and I will figure it out as we go. He may not be rich, but he has a good job. An honorable job. A job he can be proud of. And if I need to find work for myself, then I will. Because I would rather be a maid scrubbing floors than a duchess so miserable with her own life she can’t be glad her only child has found love!”
“Glad?” Vanessa laughed scornfully. “You want me to be glad the daughter I’ve raised, the daughter I have given everything to, is willing to throw it all away for a Bow Street Runner? And an Irish one at that! No, Amelia. I am not glad.”
First Tobias, now her mother. Why were those she loved the most suddenly turning against her? As her heart gave a painful thud inside of her chest, Amelia raised a trembling hand to the base of her neck and began to back slowly towards the door. Vanessa’s eyes narrowed.
“Where are you going? If you’ve any fanciful notions of running off to Gretna Green you had best dispel them now. Until I’ve received affirmation Mr. Kent has returned to London, you are not to leave this house.”
“Why must you be so hateful?” Amelia whispered as the anger within her gave way to a deep, aching sadness. All her life she’d only wanted to be accepted for who she was, not who her mother wanted her to be.
For a long time she’d tried to forge herself into the perfect daughter, the perfect debutante, the perfect lady. Sacrificing little pieces of herself along the way. It wasn’t until Tobias showed her that she could be loved precisely the way she was that she finally realized there was no need to change. No need to try to create a better version of herself. No need to give up who she was to become someone she wasn’t.
“I am not being hateful, I am being practical.” Vanessa hesitated, and for a moment the rigid brackets around the corners of her mouth softened with understanding. “I know what it’s like to want a future different than the one that’s been given to you, no matter how glossy and perfect that future might appear on the surface. I know what it’s like to be swept away by a handsome face and the promise of something more than what you have.
“But the promise is not real, my dear. When all is said and done, your Mr. Kent will leave you just like my Adam left me. And if I can keep you from experiencing that disappointment, if I can keep you from that bitter, bitter heartache, then I will move heaven and earth to do so. Without apology, without remorse. Because you may hate me now, but you will thank me later. You will thank me,” she repeated, “when you’re a duchess or a countess and you have nary a care in the world.”
“I’m sorry the man you loved left you. I really am.” At least it explained some of her mother’s sharpness. Some of her virulence. To have loved a man who ultimately cast her aside…was it any wonder she would try to prevent the same fate from befalling her daughter? “But Tobias isn’t Adam. He loves me. And he would never leave me.”
“Oh my dear.” When Vanessa’s gaze flicked to the window and her expression filled with pity, Amelia felt as if a stone had been dropped into the bottom of her belly. “He already has.”
Crouching low over the gray’s neck, Tobias pressed his heels into the gelding’s flanks and sent the horse into a gallop. The gray’s hooves clattered on the hard road and the wind whipped through Tobias’ hair as they galloped away from Webley Castle. Away from Amelia. Away from his heart.
He’d left it with her. It was the only way he had been able to go. The only way he’d been able to reason that he was actually doing what was best. For bo
th of them. Because as much as he loved Amelia, he did not deserve her. He never had. He never would. Which was why he’d torn his heart from his chest and left it behind in a bloody heap.
He knew she’d be furious with him. And hurt. And he was sorry for it. More sorry than he could put into words. But surely it was better to feel anger and pain than regret. For no matter what she said to the contrary, she would regret leaving everything behind to be with him. How could she not? How could a woman like her ever choose a man like him over a life of wealth and comfort?
The answer was she couldn’t.
And now she wouldn’t have to.
But as Tobias urged his mount even faster, he couldn’t escape the feeling that he was making the biggest mistake of his life…and this time, there would be no going back.
Chapter Nineteen
Meanwhile, back on Bow Street…
“Grant, have you seen these?” Juliet asked.
Giving a cursory glance at the disheveled pile of papers his wife was pouring over with a magnifying glass, Grant shook his head. “No, what are they?”
“The passenger logs for the HMS Belisarius, the only ship that has a regular trading route to India. Dating all the way back to January of 1811.” She lowered the magnifying glass. “And do you know what they all have in common?”
Grant rubbed his eyes as he leaned back in his chair. For the past two weeks he and Juliet, Owen and Scarlett, had been searching day and night for something that would connect all of the dots they’d managed to piece together on The Slasher.
They knew the women (and man) he had killed.
They knew how he had killed them.
They knew when he had killed them.
But they still did not know why he had done it, and they were no closer to guessing who he was than they’d been five years ago when he had stood over the dead body of Hannah Kent.
“The Duke of Webley’s name isn’t on any of them.” Pushing back her chair, Juliet gathered the papers and carried them over to her husband. “See?” she said, waving one of them in front of his face. “There’s no mention of him. Not even on the most recent log. Which is odd, seeing as that’s when he returned from India.”
A Dangerous Temptation (Bow Street Brides Book 5) Page 20