by J M Hart
He was getting excited as he continued to approach the light and he felt the warmth of the sun on his back, but there was no sun or moon in the sky. A shapely woman stood behind the lantern calling out his name and he wanted to run towards her. Tears were trapped in his throat, hope teased his heart. She called out his name, urging him to hurry. Shaun ran. His legs were getting heavy and he lifted each leg higher and higher. The sand was wet, the foaming water of the ocean had followed him to this place. It was getting harder to move; he was sinking in the wet sand. She called out to him again. “Hurry, we have to go back.” He was immobilized in the sand — it had become thick like ice, holding him around the waist. He knew that voice, laced with the maturity of a woman and the pleading of a child. He could hear the beauty of her soul, the rhythm of each word touched his heart. It was Rachel. As soon as he said her name, there was an explosion of light behind her. He sank down into the sand, struggling to be free as it buried him alive.
The smell of freshly cooked food aroused his olfactory senses and his body was filled with sounds. His shoulders were pressed into the mattress and he heard giggling. It was Alex. Tim told Alex it was okay to go ahead and body-slam Shaun, and Casey said it wasn’t okay because he was dreaming. How did Casey know he was dreaming? A cold little finger touched his eye, lifting up his eyelid. Shaun lunged at his neck playfully like a rabid dog going for the kill. Alex squealed and fell to the floor. Shaun watched Alex’s face turn into a smile then a serious knot appeared on his tiny brow.
“Are you crying? Are you sad?” Alex asked. He pushed himself up off the carpet.
Tim hung his head over the side of the bunk.
“No, buddy, I’m not crying,” Shaun said, reaching out to slap Tim’s head and caught a handful of hair. He pushed Tim’s face away.
“Breakfast is ready,” Alex said. “Mommy said I could wake you.”
Shaun pulled up the sheet and wiped his face quickly before tossing them back and stepping into his jeans.
“Morning,” Casey said.
“Morning,” Shaun grumbled. He kept his head low, avoiding eye contact. He collected the clean blue t-shirt Terry had given him and said to Alex, “Lead the way, dude.” He pulled the shirt over his head, walking out the door.
Shaun and Alex went past the bathroom. Shaun stepped back, feeling the urge to go to the toilet. Alex continued to follow him into the bathroom. “No, buddy, you wait here.” Shaun closed the door and Alex slid down the wall and squatted against it, waiting.
Shaun leant on the washbasin, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He splashed water over his eyes and cheeks, washing away traces of tears. The cool water felt refreshing in his hands and on his face. He was quite sticky from the night and couldn’t resist having a shower. He let the water cascade over his head, trying to erase the images from the dream. There was a knock and Alex’s muffled voice asking him how much longer he was going to be, because he was alone and scared in the dark hall. Shaun turned off the water, quickly toweled himself dry and dressed. He left the room feeling lighter and maybe even a little invigorated.
“Now are you ready?” Alex asked as the bathroom light flooded into the hallway. Alex pushed against the wall and stood up.
The odd pair walked along the short corridor to the stairs. Shaun’s foot was poised ready to step down, but he stopped, and looked back towards the bedroom and down to the end of the hall. The boards covering the end window made the corridor appear dark and mistrusting, creating a creepy feeling. Shaun had a sense of being watched.
5
Melting pot: England
Daniel reached for the tea towel to help Terry dry the dishes after lunch. Joe was already cooking a stew for dinner. “That smells great, Joe.”
Shaun came in through the back door. “There’s a motorcycle in the barn. Can I take Alex for a ride?”
Terry looked at Daniel and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s up to you. They’re your boys.”
Daniel was going to correct him, but then turned to Shaun. “Have you ever ridden a motorcycle before?”
“Sure, heaps of times. My mate had a dirt bike and we used to churn up the school grounds.”
“You did what?” Terry said. “You can’t take it out if you’re going to wreak havoc around the place.”
“No, that’s not what I meant. I just meant I know how to handle a motorcycle.”
Daniel looked at Shaun and said nothing.
“I won’t let anything happen to him, I promise,” Shaun said.
“How many promises have you made in your life? Ten, twenty, a hundred?” Daniel asked.
“Two,” Shaun said.
Daniel shifted his weight to his right leg and put a dry plate into the overhead cupboard. “I think I’ll go take a look. I have my own motorcycle back home,” Daniel said to Terry. He draped the tea towel on the edge of the bench to dry.
“The keys are on the hook over there by the door.”
Daniel unhooked the keys. “Come on then, let’s have some fun.” Daniel and Shaun walked over to the shed together to find Alex sitting stretched out on the seat. He was trying to reach the handlebars pretending he was speeding down a racetrack.
Daniel lifted Alex off, and wheeled the bike outside. He climbed on, started the bike, and kicked up the stand. “Get on,” he said to Shaun.
Shaun hesitated.
“Get on.”
Shaun threw his leg over and hung onto the back of the bike. Daniel put it into gear and took off. They cruised on the Bonnie down the driveway, past the plane wreckage, and turned around heading towards the hedges at the back of the house. They slid a little on the wet grass and Daniel stretched his leg forward for balance. The other kids watched them until they were out of sight.
Alex was jumping up and down on the spot waiting for his turn. Daniel stopped in front of Alex. Daniel swapped with Shaun, jumping on the back. Once Daniel felt Shaun was confident with a pillion passenger, he tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to Alex. Shaun turned the motorcycle and headed for the kid. Daniel jumped off and put Alex on the back. “Now you hold on to Shaun tight with your arms, and squeeze his hips with your legs, okay? Shaun, don’t go above second gear, alright?”
Shaun slowly let out the clutch and accelerated. He stayed in first gear down to the fence and did a wide U-turn at the bottom of the driveway. He did this about four times to Alex’s delight. The other kids were perched on a log looking out into the silver birch trees.
Tim got up and walked over to Daniel. “Can I have a turn?”
“No, mate.”
“Why not? You let Shaun ride it.”
“He’s a little older than you. When you’re his age you can ride it.”
“He’s not that much older.”
“He’s old enough to have a license. You’re not. Don’t argue, you cheeky monkey.” Daniel ruffled his hair. “You can get on the back.”
“No, I’m good.”
Shaun was coming back up the driveway and Daniel walked over towards him. Shaun stopped. “Listen, the others aren’t allowed to ride it on their own. You can take them for a ride on the back. The sky is really overcast. I don’t suppose the rain will stay away for too long. When you’re done, put it back in the shed and put the key where it belongs, okay?”
“Sure, no sweat, will do.”
Kevin, Casey, Jade and Sophia were walking towards Tim. They stopped and watched Shaun and Alex for a minute before heading to the house as if they were carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.
“Where are you guys headed?” Daniel asked Kevin.
“Inside. It looks terrible out here, and the air feels strange,” he said.
“Is Father McDonald alright over there?” he asked Sophia.
“Yes, he will pray until he feels the evil is pushed back.”
Daniel looked out over to Father McDonald sitting on the ground on his knees, unwavering. “He hasn’t slept much. He looks a little pale.”
“He never does. He is always
pale these days. It’s his heart, it’s physically weak but he pretends it’s okay. He doesn’t want me to know.”
Daniel held the door open for them to pass, taking a glimpse over his shoulder at his son and Shaun. He could hear Alex shouting, “Slow, slow, slow.” And Shaun went very slow. Then Alex yelled, “Faster, faster, faster.” And Shaun would speed up. They were having a ball of a time just going up and down the driveway. Kevin was exceptional with amazing gifts, but so was Alex. He had the biggest heart that melted the toughest characters.
*
On the rug by the bookshelves Shaun handed Alex the gemstones from his pouch. He focused on listening, watching Amy and Father McDonald out of the corner of his eye, while teaching Alex a game. Amy closed her book gently in her lap and moved out of the high-backed leather chair under the stained-glass lamp, which bathed the lounge room with a soft glow of color. She offered her seat to Father McDonald. “Come and make yourself comfortable,” she said. “This chair is extremely comfortable.”
“What are you reading?” Father McDonald asked, nodding towards her book. “It’s a book of light. It’s filled with the mysteries of the universe.” She handed the book to him and he accepted. It felt light even though it was as thick as an old encyclopedia. He opened the book, surprised it was in Aramaic. “Can you read this?” he said, looking at Amy excitedly.
“Unfortunately, no, I can’t. The letters, they look like symbols to me, and I remember when I was a child I would watch my grandfather run his finger under the letters as if reading from right to left and then turn the pages in the same direction. I scan over the pages and don’t comprehend a single sentence. It was passed down through the generations to my grandfather and I feel him and I feel closer to God every time I open the book. I was always intrigued and would watch his face reflecting the light from the book in his hands.”
“If you can’t read the words, how do you know it holds the mysteries of the universe?”
“I just do,” and with that said, she placed the book on the side table under the glow of the lamp, and a rainbow of colors shone across its cover.
“It’s bedtime, Alex,” Callie called from the other room.
Amy walked past Shaun and Alex, and as she did Shaun scooped up the gems to play another game with Alex.
She tapped on Callie’s door. “You have beautiful children,” she said, standing at the threshold. “Molly is a gorgeous happy little girl.”
“Do you plan to have any more children?” Callie asked, stepping from the room.
“We want a big family. My great-aunt was from a large family of girls, who spread out across the world, eventually losing contact with one another. My great-aunt was my only surviving relative, although we didn’t know of her until she had passed away. This was her place, which she left to me.”
“That’s sad,” Callie said.
“What happened to Casey that day?” Amy asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Kevin said he was there, that he saw Casey. At first we believed him when he came home crying, swearing he saw a boy drown in the river, so we called the police. They were searching for days but there was nothing. They started to say Kevin had made it up. We too thought he was seeking attention. I had been overseas and soon after I got back my parents were killed in a car accident. He had told me to tell them not to come, but it was too late, they were already on their way.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“He was very close to them. He blames himself and thinks I blame him too.”
Molly was sucking on her bottle, drifting off to sleep in Callie’s arms.
“May I?” Amy said, reaching out for Molly.
Callie carefully passed Molly over and Amy walked back into the living room and sat down.
“You look as if you’re a natural,” Callie said, following her.
“I hope so. I’m about four months,” Amy said.
She’s pregnant, Shaun thought. Why would she let us stay knowing she is pregnant? Wouldn’t she want to protect her unborn baby?
“How exciting. Congratulations!” Callie said.
“It’s ironic how in times of such despair life continues. If we listen to Casey, I’m having twins.”
“What do you mean, if you listen to Casey?”
“He sometimes senses the future.”
Shaun was intrigued and tried to move closer without Alex noticing.
“Really? Kevin’s a bit like that.” Callie turned towards the door and Amy followed her gaze. There was no one there. The boys came down the stairs and into the room seconds after her stare.
“I can see where he gets it from,” Amy said.
“What me? No, I don’t think so.” Amy sat back, ignoring her numb arm from the impossible weight of someone so tiny, and watched Molly sleep.
The boys walked past Shaun and Alex. Kevin stopped, curious. “What are they?”
Shaun didn’t answer, but scooped up the stones, tucking them into his pouch. Casey, Tim and Kevin continued into the kitchen.
“Shaun, why don’t you go with Kevin? Alex, it’s time for bed.”
“Oh Mom, no, one more game.”
“I’m sorry, Alex, it’s way past your bedtime, and besides Shaun has played with you all day.”
“Can I fall asleep with Molly and Amy, on the lounge? And you put me to bed later?”
Amy watched Tim and Kevin come out of the kitchen with snacks for the rest of the gang upstairs in Casey’s room. Kevin tossed a packet of crisps to Shaun and handed him a coke.
“Come on,” Casey said.
Shaun reluctantly got up and followed the boys upstairs.
*
Casey took the old stairs two at a time, trying to figure out what he could say to Shaun to help him be more trusting and open up. Casey could feel things were going to get worse. Shaun tripped on the carpet at the top of the stairs. Tim laughed and Casey reached out for Shaun’s arm. Casey felt like he had been tasered and stabbed in the heart all at once; life and joy vanished, leaving feelings of guilt and abandonment. Casey felt emotionally bankrupt and suddenly alone. The image of Shaun lying across his mother’s chest, crying so hard he had to be forcefully removed from the sterile room by a man Casey assumed was his father. Shaun shook off Casey’s hold and the scene in his mind faded. Casey became aware of his own emotions and felt vulnerable. The images had aroused a sense of loss.
“What the hell are you staring at?” Shaun snapped.
“Your mom died when you were a kid. It wasn’t your fault. You’re carrying a shitload of guilt. Let it go, you’re not the cause of her illness.”
“Who told you that? Who told you about my mom? One of your stupid new friends?”
Tim had been laughing at Shaun when he tripped; Casey saw he was straight-faced now, with a look of caution. He walked into the bedroom, leaving Casey and Shaun alone in the dark hallway.
“You told me, just then, when I helped you up. I pick up shit and you’ve got a truckload.”
“You’re weird.”
“I lost my mom last year. She was crushed during a freak tornado. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye, but you did and you should cherish that.”
“Who are you to tell me what I should do?”
“There was nothing more important to her than you,” Casey said to him. “She saw the gift you had brought for her.” Casey looked down at the ground, then up to the ceiling, then stared at Shaun’s face searching for a connection. “You took something extremely valuable, priceless.”
Shaun instinctively touched his pocket. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. He walked into the bedroom, chucked the packet of chips at Tim and threw himself onto the bed. Casey watched him: You know exactly what I was talking about.
*
“I love this room,” said Sophia. “I thought my room at the convent was special because I had a window. This, this is such a beautiful blue. It’s endless, like the sky, and the bunk beds built into the wall with
the archways is just magical. The lower beds are practically the size of a double bed. Look at these little nooks for bookshelves cut out of the bedheads. And a little portal that must look onto the lawn. If it wasn’t covered up I’m sure it would look lovely. This is a beautiful home, Casey. I would pick this for my bedroom and all my friends could come for a slumber party.” Sophia’s shoulders drooped and the enthusiasm trickled away as she remembered her friends Gemma and Lisa lying face down in the car park with blood pooling around them.
“Give it a rest. What century are you from? And did you say you live in a convent?” Shaun said, lying on his bed flicking his shoes off. They just missed hitting her.
“Pretty much,” Sophia said, sitting on the edge of his bed.
Casey watched her effervescent aura change to darker tones. “This wasn’t the original design, of course. The real estate agent said Amy’s great-aunt redesigned it as a B&B. That’s why there are four beds and a sitting area in this room,” Casey said.
“It looks like a studio. The layout is a great use of the space,” Jade said, sitting at the writing desk nestled amongst more bookshelves.
“If you girls talk about the curtains,” Tim said, “I’m going to puke.”
“Where’s Kath?” Sophia asked.
“She won’t hang with us. We’re too immature for her,” Tim said.
“I think you spoke too soon,” Kevin said.
“What?” Tim said.
“Wait for it, ” said Sophia. There was a gentle knock on the door and Kath walked in and everyone laughed.
“What’s the joke?” Kath asked, looking down at her clothes.
Kevin, Casey and Sophia looked at each other with understanding.
Jade and Tim looked at them as if they had lost their minds.
“It’s nothing,” Jade said. “Synchronicity I presume. Your timing is impeccable. They were just wondering why you weren’t here.”