The whisperings of night and my agonies and infirmities all passed away, and I ignored the tears all around me, as I found myself in a state of well-being and security that I had never before experienced. I yielded myself to an infinite love, leaving my body alone in the struggle! I saw, without any anxiety, the blood in my veins resisting, my heart beating and straining, my muscles tightening and slackening, my breath deeply panting, my chest rising and falling. I felt the hands of affection lift my back and enfold me, and I saw my insides and my outside without any care or concern. Then the Messenger seemed to turn his attention from me to my body directly, to execute his mission with confidence and assurance, and a smile that did not leave his two handsome lips. And I saw the holy aura of life surrender to his will, and depart from my feet and my calves and my thighs and my belly and my chest, and the blood within them freeze and the limbs stiffen and the heart stop, until a deep sigh escaped my gaping mouth. My corpse became quiet as I sank into eternity, and the Messenger took his leave just as he came to me, without anyone’s noticing. A peculiar feeling pervaded me that I had left life behind, that I had ceased to dwell among the people of the world.
Two
The stunning sensation that I had actually died, that I no longer belonged to the realm of the living, truly overwhelmed me. I was still in my room, and the room was still as it was, so what had happened? What had changed within me? My mother and my wife were leaning over my body, when something occurred that I could not doubt, and it was the most critical thing of all. I was not surprised, and if I had been able to reply to my wife when she asked me, “Taw-ty, what do you see?” I would have said, “I am dying.” But I had lost the power of speech and of other things. I was not surprised, as I have said, when I felt the depths of Death—as the bed feels the numbing flow of sleep—completely aware of what was happening. What could not be doubted is that Death is neither painful nor terrifying, as mortals imagine. If they knew the truth about it, they would seek it out as they do well-aged wine, preferring it over all others. For it is not regret or sadness that grips the dying person. Rather, life appears as something paltry and unimportant when one intuits on the horizon that divine and joyous light. I was shackled with fetters, then they were smashed. I was trapped inside a vessel, then I was set free. I was intensely heavy on the earth, then I shed my bonds and was rid of my weight. My form was narrow, then I stretched everywhere outward without any bounds. My senses were limited, then each faculty changed utterly; I could see all and I could hear all and I could comprehend all, and I could perceive all at once what was above me and below me and around me—as if I had left my body sprawled before me to take from Creation an entirely new one. This total transformation that defies description took place in an instant. Yet, I still felt that I had not quit the room that had witnessed the happiest moments of my previous existence. It was as though I had been made custodian of my former body until it reached its final rest.
So I continued to observe everything around me calmly and attentively, without apprehension. The air of the room was enveloped in pain and dejection, while my mother and wife persisted in working together over my body—my old companion—with its familiar features, lying motionless on the bed. Meanwhile, its color had gone white tinged with blue, its eyelids closed, and its limbs went limp. The children and the servants kept calling to it; they all wept and cried. Those in attendance poured copious tears over it, until heartache, sorrow, and gloom seemed to consume them. All the time I watched them with an odd indifference, as if never for a day had I been close to them. What is this dead body? Why are these humans howling about it so? What is this misfortune that has made their faces ugly and distorted? No, I am no longer one of the people of the world, and their tears and lamentations cannot restore me to it. I wished that all my ties with it would be cut so that I could hover about in my new domain, but, regrettably, my dear ones still held a part of my liberty captive to the temporal world, so I steeled myself with patience as I took up this burden. Then my mother came with a sheet to cover my cadaver, while the children and servants went out. She took my wife by the hand as they both left the room and locked the door behind them. Yet they remained in my sight, because the walls did nothing to impede my view. I saw them both as they removed their clothing and dressed in black for mourning. Next they headed toward the house’s courtyard, loosening their braids and strewing dust over their heads, throwing off their sandals as they hurried toward the door. They rushed out shouting and beating the sides of their faces, while my mother kept callling “My son!” and my wife called out, “O my husband!” Then they both cried out together, “Mercy upon you, O poor Taw-ty—Death has taken you without compassion for your youth!”
They left the house in this condition of moaning and weeping, continuing along until they passed the first home on the way. There the mistress of the house came out to them in fright. “O Sisters, what is upsetting you?” she asked. The two women answered, “Our house is ruined! Our children are orphaned! The mother is bereaved! The wife is widowed! Mercy upon you, O Taw-ty!” So the woman bawled out from deep in her breast, “O heart dismayed! O youth deprived! O hopes destroyed!” And she followed the two women, all the while scattering dust on her own head and striking her cheeks. Each time they passed a house its mistress came out to join them, until all the women had flocked to their throng. A woman experienced in mourning led them onward, continually reciting my name and my virtues. On they went, cutting across all the streets in the village, bringing grief and desolation to every location. But this name of mine that the mourners were chanting, why did it not affect me at all?
Yes, this name had become as strange to me as my laid-out body. I kept wondering when, oh when, would all this end? Then, in the evening, the men came. As the wailing went up around us, they carried my body into the House of Embalming, and placed it on the slab in the Sacred Chamber. The room was long and very wide, without a single window save for a skylight in the center of the ceiling. The slab was in the center of the room, and on either side of it were shelves stocked with jars full of chemicals. In the middle, under the skylight, was a huge trough flowing with the miraculous fluid. The men went out, leaving only two behind. These two were experts, as testified by the speed and dexterity with which they worked. One of them came with a basin, which he set down close to the slab. They collaborated in stripping the cadaver of its clothing until every part of it was completely exposed. They did this quietly and without concern. Then the one who had brought the basin said, while feeling the muscles of my chest and arms, “He was a tough man, look!” And the other said, “He was Taw-ty, one of the Prince’s men. In exchange for food and drink, he bravely undertook the hazards of war.” The one who had brought the basin muttered cautiously, “What if one could borrow these bodies?” The other replied, laughing, “You old geezer, what good is a corpse?” But the man just said, while shaking his head, “He was a strong man, he truly was . . .”
And so the other man, still laughing, took a long, sharp knife from one of the shelves, and said, “Let’s see just how strong he is now!” He stabbed the left side of the breast with the blade, slicing his way down to the hip. Then he worked the insides with his hand, grabbing and pulling until he brought out the bowels and the stomach, and dropped them into the basin. Then he added the heart and the liver. In just a few moments, my entire internal organs were laid before me, as these men were embalmers of consummate skill. I inspected each organ with care, especially my stomach, which I knew to be strong and ever-active. Thanks to my magical powers of sight, I could view its contents clearly—the rice and figs and remains of the wine from the Prince’s banquet last night. I recalled his remark when he beckoned me to the table, “Eat and drink, Taw-ty—may you enjoy life, most trustworthy man!” I saw and I remembered, without any feeling or effect, without any impact on my amazing indifference. Then I looked at my heart and saw a world filled with wonders: the ruins of passionate love, of sorrow and rage, the images of lovers and friends. And of
enemies, for I had left my romantic ardor and the glory of its depths to display my courage in the wars of Zahi and Nubia. In these lands I had beheld horrifying scenes of carnage on the battlefield, of bloody, hacked-off limbs—the traces of a struggle unencumbered by mercy—until I added to my dynasty’s land a plot which our neighbor had also coveted for a number of years. I saw in my heart the bulk of my life and the longings that had grieved me.
Meanwhile the man kept on working with coolness and precision. He produced a pointed hook, which he shoved up my nose with great concentration, until he reached his objective. Then rapidly, with familiarity and violence, he forced out my big brain, which oozed away in a slimy stream, sending particles out into the air of what once had been my dazzling ideas, my dearest hopes, and the smoke of my dreams. These were my own thoughts that were painted before my eyes, but when I considered them in the light of the truth that my spirit now saw, they seemed no more than grotesque trivialities. The state in which I now found refuge tried hard to keep them out. How my head reeled from the effort!
Here I am, declaiming the poem that I had composed depicting the battle of Qadesh. And here are the speeches that I made before the Prince at public occasions, and here are my views on literature and good conduct, and the rules of astronomy that I memorized from the books of Qaqimna. All of these the man removed with the bits of my brain. They settled between the stomach and the intestines in the tub full of blood—not counting those parts which fell upon the ground to be squashed underfoot. “Now the body has been well cleaned!” the expert handling the hook pronounced. “When you die, may you find a hand as practiced as your own!” his friend added, giggling. At this the two technicians carried what remained of my body to the great trough filled with the magic liquid, immersing it within. Then they washed their hands and left the chamber. Meanwhile, I understood that the room would not be opened again for a span of seventy days—the period of embalming. I was touched with unease. The thought struck me that my spirit should go out into the world to catch a glimpse of my final farewell.
Three
My soul was eager to go out into the world, and so I did. This did not entail actual movement as such, for it was enough that I simply direct my thoughts toward something and I would find it right in front of me. Yet the reality was even greater, for my sight became something truly extraordinary—nothing was beyond it. It turned into a penetrating power that passed through barriers and cut through veils, seeing into minds and hidden recesses. However, though our parting had been decreed, my thoughts were pulled toward my family, so I found myself back in my home. The children had gone into a deep sleep which the turbulence did not disturb. My mother and wife lay down on the floor, the misery and suffering plain on their faces from the force of their crying and sorrow. Tomorrow their woes would multiply even more when the sarcophagus would proceed to its perpetual place of burial. My spirit entered them and moved their heads and appeared before them in dreams, and I saw the two tortured hearts beating in agony and pain. What was all this worry? Something, however, attracted my vision. I saw in the dark oppression of each of their hearts a spot of white, and I knew it—for nothing was unknown to me—as the germ of forgetfulness. Oh! This germ would grow larger and spread wider until it covered the heart entire. Indeed, I saw all of this clearly, without being bothered, for nothing could trouble me now. Instead I wondered, intrigued by the taste of discovery, when might this happen? My supernatural eyes brought me a picture from the future: I saw my mother take a young boy by her right hand and make her way through thickly crowded streets, waving a lotus flower. And I learned that she had come out—or that she would come out—to take part in our village’s happiest festival, the feast of the goddess Isis. Her face was jubilant, and my son was hooting with laughter. I saw my wife prepare a banquet with food of the best kinds found in her world and invite a man that I knew to it. This was her maternal cousin Sa-wu—and what an excellent husband he was! If the dead could feel pleasure, then I would have been pleased for her. Sa-wu was a man of virtue, for he who makes happy my wife and tends well to my children is a good man indeed.
With this my spirit left my house, and I stopped on the wayside at the sweet Prince’s palace. I peered into the Prince’s consciousness and found him, who had appreciated me and prized me in the most moving manner, feeling sorry for my loss. His mind was preoccupied with choosing my successor. I read within his memory the name of the new candidate: Ab-Ra, one of my more promising subordinates, though we had not been intimate.
All this was fine. But why remain in my village today, when Pharaoh is to receive the envoy of the Hittites, come to sign a pact of peace and reconciliation? I saw Memphis, in a glance of the eye, clamoring with her teeming multitudes, and the palace at the height of its splendor. The King, the ambassador, the priests, the nobles, and the generals were gathered in the hall of the Great Throne. All of these masters of the world were met in one place. The triumphant monarch was speaking to the representative of the mighty Hittites with an air of warm civility. But the King’s breast was filled with scorn, and a single expression recurred in his mind, “There’s no avoiding the unavoidable.” As for the envoy, his heart was brimming over with hate, and this thought was dammed up with it: “Be patient until this powerful ruler dies.”
My eyes wandered everywhere. I saw the faces and the clothes and the hearts and the minds and the bellies. I saw the outer world and the inner one without any hindrance, and amused myself for a time by examining the exquisite food and the vintage wine in their stomachs, until I came across onion and garlic in the gut of a priest. These are both forbidden for the clergy! I asked myself, do you see how this pious man takes advantage of his fellows’ distraction to sneak down this food? In part of a nobleman’s stomach, I caught the creep of the disease that would sap away his life. At this moment, the man was talking to a general with glee and delight. Inwardly, I said to him, “May you be welcome!” Then my sight fell on the governor Tety, infamous for his cruelty and ruthlessness, to the point that Pharaoh had to admonish him to be moderate in overseeing his province. I scrutinized him carefully, immediately discovering that his body was frail, his limbs were sick, and that he complained bitterly and ceaselessly about his teeth and his joints. Each time the pain assailed him, he yearned to be able to sever the infection from his body. This explained why he was gripped by cruelty, as he did not hesitate to cut out the crooked from among his subjects with merciless brutality. In addition to Tety, I saw the vizier, Mina. That obdurate man, who fought the idea of peace with all this force, was always agitating for war. Do you see the secret of this dangerous minister’s stubbornness? I saw that his mind was brilliant but his bowels were feeble. The morsels of his food remained trapped in them a long time, corrupting his blood as it circulated, so that it reached his brain spoiled, fouling his reason. As a result, that which issued from his mouth possessed great evil! The man satisfied with his own opinion sees it as straight and rightly guided, though I saw his mind as blackened and polluted.
Next my vision turned to the breasts of those present, looking into their hidden corners and behind their grinning faces. One was horribly bored, whispering to his companion, “When can we go back to the palace to hear the courtesans sing?” And that one over there muttered, “If the man had died from his illness, I would now be commander of the spear-throwers brigade!” And this other one pondered to himself in anguish, “When will the imbecile leave for his tour of inspection, so that I may rush to be with his gorgeous wife, whom I adore— ahhh!” And yet another told a friend from his deepest heart, “A human being doesn’t know when his appointed time will come.” And, “After today, I will not put off building my tomb.” Or, “Of what good is money, then?” Confusion so controlled his heart that he told a comrade, “Akhenaten said that the Lord is Aton, while Horemheb said that He was Amon. There is also a sect that worships Ra—so why did the Lord leave us in dissension?” I did not tarry too long at Pharaoh’s magnificent party, for I soon succumbed to
ennui. I turned away from it, to find myself once more abroad in the wide world.
Many scenes from the earth and the heavens passed before me. I grasped their essential truths, seeing into their deepest aspects, until I fixed upon an egg being fertilized in a womb. I beheld its flesh and bones forming, and watched its birth, while my vision ran with it toward its future. I saw it as a child, as a boy, as a youth, as a grown man, as an old man—and as a dead man. I saw the events that befell him, his pleasure and torment and contentment and anger and hope and despair and his health and his illness, his passion and his boredom. I saw all these together in just a minute, until the cries of his birth and the moans of his death were mingled together in my ears! A capricious desire to play overcame me, and I followed the lifetimes of many individuals from their birth to their demise. I savored enormously the flow of their different states of being, which were hardly divided in time. For here a face would laugh and then it would scowl and then guffaw and then frown tens and tens of times in a fraction of a second! This woman wanders about as a young beauty, then she falls in love and marries and becomes pregnant and has children and goes into senility and withers away and becomes loathsome to look upon, all in a brief interval. Loyalty and treachery are not cleaved by an instant. These and countless other things are what make a farce of life—if the deceased could laugh, then I would drown in laughter. It seemed to me as though there is no reality in the world except for change. My soul wished that all these people and their crazy lives would just go away and be gone from my sight. I regarded them from afar as a numberless, limitless horde. Their forms diminished and their features dissolved and the distinctions between them disappeared. They became a single block, silent and still, without life or movement. I continued to stare at them in shock and perplexity, that slowly lessened by degrees until a new dimension was revealed to me that had previously been concealed.
Voices From the Other World Page 6