He knew his childhood wasn’t the worst. The car wreck that had claimed his mother’s life was unthinkably tragic and an event no child—no person—should ever have to endure. But he’d known she loved him. Hell, she’d spent the last minutes of her life whispering words of comfort to him, telling him he was brave and strong and how proud she already was of the man she knew he’d become.
Despite the way his father had closed himself off emotionally after her death, he’d taken care of Finn and Ella. They might have wanted for affection but little else. There were a hell of a lot of levels on the hierarchy of need they’d had met, unlike Kaitlin.
No, Finn had endured tragedy but his life hadn’t been tragic.
Maybe that was why he’d reacted so harshly. As much as he would have liked to blame his father or use the excuse of his mom’s death for the vague discontent he couldn’t shake, he understood deep inside that he was the one lacking. He was to blame. He’d been given so much more than most. Way more than Kaitlin with her laundry list of childhood horrors.
Yet he couldn’t find happiness. His heart refused to settle. The longer he remained alone, the more certain he became that his heart was the real problem. Was he a real-life happiness grinch? The organ that beat inside his rib cage didn’t exactly feel two sizes too small, more like frozen or stunted in its development.
Returning to Starlight seemed to highlight that fact. This town, with memories around every corner, made him feel in a way he’d forgotten he was capable of, and he hated that most of all.
It was safer on his own. His ordered, compartmentalized life suited him and the amount he was able to give. His plan had been to confront his father and gain confirmation that Finn could move on with his life. That he had a good reason for his hindered emotions. But the changes in his father and Kaitlin’s affection for the old man prevented such an easy out.
Finn would never admit it, but he was jealous of Kaitlin’s relationship with his dad, of her easy loyalty and the way Jack seemed to rely on her. The old man had been an emotional island since Finn’s mom died, or at least that was Finn’s impression. What if Finn had spent a decade stoking the fires of his anger and bitterness for no good reason?
He pushed away from the computer and stood. He’d been given space in an empty office now being used for storage. When Kaitlin arrived at the office, a few minutes after him and refusing to make eye contact, she’d introduced him to the personal bankers and tellers, explaining that he was working on a new investment project with his dad.
It had further embarrassed him when the bank’s staff, both new and old, gave him an enthusiastic welcome. Several people mentioned that they felt like he was already a part of First Trust because of how proudly Jack spoke of him.
He’d seen Kaitlin’s shoulders go stiff, as if she expected him to lash out at the suggestion that his father cared about him, the way he had with her.
She’d disappeared soon after, and he couldn’t help but wonder if she’d purposely set him up with the space farthest from his dad’s because she wanted to avoid him. That would be the smart choice for both of them, but Finn wasn’t feeling wise at the moment.
The morning hadn’t produced the proverbial smoking gun he’d expected, something that would clarify why the bank was struggling. Instead he’d discovered a simple but bleak explanation, a series of risky decisions and unfortunate circumstances combining in a perfect storm of plunging profits and excessive losses.
It seemed unfathomable that his dad had mismanaged the business so catastrophically. With a ball of unease festering in his gut, he left the office, making polite conversation with a few people as he headed down the hall.
Kaitlin gave him a tight nod as he passed her desk, and it was on the tip of his tongue to apologize. Then the door to his father’s office opened, Jack emerging with a smile for his assistant that faded when he caught sight of Finn.
Typical.
“Satisfied your curiosity?” he demanded.
Finn shook his head. “The bank is headed for big problems if you don’t address your overly aggressive lending and risky credit portfolio.”
“Keep your voice down.” Kaitlin leaned forward over her desk, checking the empty hallway to make sure no one had overheard him. “You know how fast gossip travels in a town like Starlight.”
He did his best to ignore the way her breasts strained against the fabric of her thin sweater. He hadn’t had this kind of uncontrolled reaction to a woman in...well...ever, that he remembered.
“It’s fact,” he told her, “not gossip.”
“Then you and Jack will fix it.”
His father scoffed. “There’s nothing to fix. We’ve been doing business the same way for decades. Our model is solid and will see us through.”
Could it be as simple as that? Was it possible his dad’s unwillingness to modernize and his insistence on funding every loan application submitted by someone in the community had caused all of the issues he saw with the bottom line?
He refocused his attention as his dad pointed at him. “First Trust made it through the Great Depression and the banking crisis of 1933. We’re still standing strong. Things can’t be as bad as you’re making them seem. We’ve had ups and downs before and we’ll weather whatever comes our way.”
Finn glanced at Kaitlin, who flashed the barest hint of a pleading smile, as if silently asking him to ignore his father’s rant and help make things right.
“I’m driving over to Seattle,” he announced, earning a frown from Kaitlin. “I’ll be late tonight,” he added. “I have a friend who’s a banking analyst. I’d like him to check out the debt-to-income ratio and see if he has any ideas.”
“You can’t share our information with a stranger,” his dad protested immediately.
“I have to if we’re going to turn things around.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Dad, the bank is your legacy. Even though I’m not involved, I can respect that. I don’t want it to fail, and I know you don’t, either. Too many people in Starlight depend on you. Please let me help.”
His father’s thick silver brows drew together. “Take Kaitlin with you,” he said instead of responding directly to Finn’s comments.
“What?” both he and Kaitlin asked at once.
Jack gestured toward Kaitlin. “I trust her.”
“But not me?” Finn demanded.
“Finn can handle this,” Kaitlin added.
Jack looked between the two of them. “I trust you both, and I want you working together.”
“Dad, I don’t think—”
“Besides,” his father interrupted, “she works too much. Kaitlin could use a night out on the town in the big city.”
“I don’t like the city,” she whispered, and Finn noticed the color had drained from her face.
“Use the corporate card. Dinner’s on me.”
“I’m not going to Seattle for fun,” Finn protested.
“Would it kill you to have some?” Jack pointed to Kaitlin. “You definitely need some fun in your life.”
“My life is plenty fun,” she argued weakly.
Jack laughed. “The only way I’ll agree to Finn continuing to have access to bank data is if the two of you become a team.”
“I’m supposed to meet with the mayor’s office to talk over the signage for the art fair.”
“I’ll handle it,” Jack said. “I mean it about the access, Finn.”
“Fine,” he muttered.
“Not fine,” Kaitlin shot back.
“Work it out,” Jack said with a wave of his hand before disappearing back into this office.
“I’m not going to Seattle with you,” Kaitlin said, her wide mouth pulled into a mulish line.
“You have to. You know my dad. He’ll shut me out if I don’t meet his terms.”
“Why do those terms have to involve me?”
When she didn’t move, he stepped forward. “It’s one afternoon, Kaitlin. It won’t be that bad. I promise.”
She sat as still as stone for a moment longer, then reached into a desk drawer and yanked out her purse. “I’ll drive along for the meeting, but dinner is unnecessary. We can come right back after you finish with your friend.”
“Whatever you want,” he said. “And, Kaitlin?”
She looked at him. “Yes?”
“I’m sorry about earlier and even sorrier about everything you went through as a kid.”
Color bloomed in her cheeks. “I shouldn’t have shared any of that.”
“I’m glad you did,” he said, surprised to find the statement so true. “It was good for me to have a reminder that as sad as my mom’s death was, I was lucky to have her and to know she loved me.”
She gave a small nod and then they headed out of the bank. Finn opened the passenger door to the BMW, taking a deep breath as she slipped in. This return trip to Starlight was becoming more complicated by the second.
Especially his feelings for Kaitlin.
As shocked as he’d been by his dad’s suggestion that she join him in Seattle, he liked the idea of spending the afternoon with her. That could lead to nothing good for either of them.
* * *
“A town like Starlight is a big change after living in Seattle,” Finn said as the landscape on either side of the highway changed from rugged to pastoral to urban.
“I needed the change.” Kaitlin grasped her hands tightly in her lap.
They’d been driving close to an hour, and she had yet to relax. She’d made a clean break when she left Seattle. Although Finn was meeting his friend in the heart of downtown, nowhere near her old stomping grounds on the south side, nerves still danced across her stomach. Seattle was a great city, but her life there had been a mess. She didn’t want any reminders of that this afternoon.
“Do you miss any part of it?”
“The water,” she answered automatically. She had to give Finn credit for trying.
She understood he was as unhappy having her riding shotgun on this drive as she was to be with him. But he’d tried to keep up the guise of friendly conversation for most of the trip, although her anxiety prevented her from giving him more than basic answers to his questions.
She drew in a breath and forced her body to relax. “I used to save my money to take the ferry to Bainbridge Island. The lakes around Starlight are nice, but it’s not the same.”
He nodded. “I bought a boat with my first bonus check.”
“Of course you did,” she said with a soft laugh, as if she needed another reminder of how different their lives were.
“It was small,” he added, almost sheepishly. “The first time I took it out, the engine died and I couldn’t figure out how to fix it. The coast guard had to come and tow me back to the dock.”
She grinned and couldn’t help but appreciate that he’d shared the memory with her. “At least tell me you weren’t wearing a captain’s hat and an ascot.”
“Only in my mind.”
“I assume you got better at the whole sea-captain vibe.”
He shrugged, and she noticed his fingers tighten on the steering wheel. “I sold it a couple of years ago. I didn’t have the time for it.”
“You’re a classic workaholic.”
“There are expectations when you’re on the senior management track.”
“Expectations are the worst,” she said softly, and Finn laughed. The sound landed like a fist to her chest, stealing her breath.
She could tell herself all day long that she hadn’t wanted to go to Seattle because of her past, but a part of her was afraid of spending time with him. Terrified of the way he made her feel and the unexpected connection joining them when they were together.
More quality time was exactly what she didn’t need with this man.
“My dad said you were overdue for some fun.” He glanced over at her before exiting the interstate toward downtown. “Does that mean you’re a workaholic?”
“I’m just boring,” she admitted.
He laughed again. “I doubt that.”
“Don’t get me wrong. I like it that way. Starlight is a good fit for me. The town rolls up the sidewalks early most nights, and I’m already home and tucked into bed with a good book.”
“Just a book?” The car pulled to a stop at a red light, and Finn lifted a brow as he looked at her again. “No boyfriend to help you turn the pages?”
“I can turn the pages just fine on my own,” she told him, color flooding her cheeks when she realized the not-so-subtle innuendo of their conversation.
“Duly noted,” he said, his voice taking on a hoarse tone.
“It must be difficult for you to be away from work. I get the impression it doesn’t happen often.”
“I have a client I take skiing down in Lake Tahoe over the holidays. That’s the only vacation I’ve had in years.”
“Entertaining a client isn’t vacation.”
“It’s me not in the office.”
“Still doesn’t count,” she insisted, reaching over to poke his arm.
“Ouch.”
A giggle bubbled up in her throat, and she clamped her mouth shut. “You’re a baby.”
“Am not.” He squeezed her leg just above her knee and she squirmed. “You’re boy crazy.”
“Oh, heck, no.” She grabbed his hand, smiling at the old childhood test. “Used to be, but not anymore.”
But when she went to release him, he turned his hand, lacing his fingers with hers. “I’m glad you came with me.”
“Why?” she couldn’t help but ask.
“I don’t want to be alone right now,” he said, his fingers tightening on hers.
Kaitlin swallowed as emotion washed through her. Sometimes it felt like she’d been alone most of her life. For this man to want her with him meant something, even if she desperately didn’t want it to.
“What do you think your friend will tell you?”
Finn gave a slight shake of his head. “I don’t know. My hope is that he sees something that I’m missing in the financials I emailed. Something that offers an easy explanation for how to fix things.”
“And if the answer isn’t an easy one?”
He released her hand. “Another question I can’t answer.”
“The bank means the world to your father.”
“It became his whole life after Mom died, even more than it was before.”
“You and your sister mean more.”
He let out a snort as he maneuvered into a parking space on a busy street a few blocks from the water.
Although she’d grown up in Seattle, Kaitlin hadn’t spent much time in this part of the city. Businesspeople and trendy hipsters crowded the street. Even though she wore an outfit that was totally professional in Starlight, here she felt underdressed and out of place.
She got out of Finn’s sleek car and waited while he fed the meter. When he glanced up at her, all the teasing from a few minutes earlier had disappeared from his blue gaze. Although he and his father were estranged, she could tell how much he wanted to get the bank back on track as a way to potentially mend his relationship with Jack.
She followed him into the modern office building, hoping for good news for both him and his dad.
Chapter Six
“This can’t come as a surprise. We see it far too often in community banks. First Trust has been overly aggressive in lending, and now the debt-to-income ratio is way off.” Roger Franks removed his reading glasses and leveled
a sympathetic look toward Finn. “You didn’t really think there was a smoking gun in these financials?”
Finn forced his reeling mind to focus. Roger might be confirming what Finn already knew, but he’d held out some slim hope that there was another explanation. He could feel the weight of Kaitlin’s shocked stare on him but didn’t turn toward her.
“No,” he admitted quietly. “But I hoped you’d find something I missed.”
Roger let out a small laugh. “When was the last time you missed something, Samuelson?”
Finn pressed two fingers to his temple. His head was pounding. “Never.”
“Your family’s bank is nearing the verge of failure.”
“Can it be saved?”
Roger put his glasses on again and turned his attention back to the computer screen. “Maybe,” he said after a moment. “But it would be easier to find a buyer. First Trust has one of two bank charters issued in Starlight. You know how valuable that is, Finn. AmeriNat specializes in this sort of deal. Your division specifically. If you got in touch with—”
“No,” Finn interrupted. “I know my dad won’t agree to sell.”
“It would kill him,” Kaitlin whispered.
Finn wanted her to be wrong. His father had survived the death of his soul mate and estrangement from both of his kids and had just kicked cancer’s butt to the curb. But the bank was different. It wasn’t just something his father loved. First Trust was a big part of who his dad was. His identity. His legacy.
And it was failing.
“I need a plan,” Finn said, more to himself than to either Roger or Kaitlin.
Roger leaned back in his chair. “This isn’t your wheelhouse, Finn. You’re a regional director with one of the largest financial institutions in the country. Your focus is growth metrics, not running a family bank.”
Finn had met Roger Franks his senior year of college, when he’d interned at the company where Roger was a senior partner. The older man had become both a mentor and a friend over the years, as well as a cautionary tale. Roger was a genius when it came to banking, but he’d also just finalized a divorce from his third wife. Finn had known walking down the aisle again was a mistake, but Roger insisted on chasing his own happily-ever-after even though his true love remained his career. No one and nothing could take its place.
The Best Intentions (Welcome To Starlight Book 1) Page 5