“Why would that seem stupid?” he asked, his voice as soft as fluffy cotton.
She started to move past him, but he stepped in front of her. “Kaitlin.”
“I don’t need a degree to be Jack’s secretary or to wait tables or whatever stupid job I’m going to get when I’m finished here. The truth is, your dad felt sorry for me, and I take care of things. It works for now but I’m not fooling myself into thinking I have a real future. I get that doing these classes is probably just a waste of time.”
“If you’ve got it all figured out, then why work so hard?”
She bit down on the inside of her cheek, willing herself not to answer. She didn’t want to say the words out loud. They felt too vulnerable, like the finest blown glass that could shatter at any moment. But there was something about this moment and this man that made her unable to stop the confession. “I want more,” she whispered, feeling at once both greedy and liberated from trying to hide her desire.
“Then you should have it,” he answered without hesitation.
She glanced up at him through her lashes, unable to lift her head but needing to see his reaction. Her breath hitched as she realized those blue depths held admiration, not judgment. Breathe in and out, she inwardly counseled herself. The air goes into the lungs, then out again. Breathing might be an involuntary function, but it seemed that Kaitlin’s body had forgotten how to manage it.
Clutching her purse to her stomach, she started to turn away, not sure where she was planning to go.
Finn wrapped his hands around her arms, holding her gently enough that she knew without hesitation he’d release her if that was what she wanted.
Instead she stepped into his arms, pressing her cheek against the warmth of his chest. The purse dropped to the ground as she gathered handfuls of his suit jacket between her fingers, squeezing hard. She did not want to cry. She wouldn’t cry. Not for such a simple kindness.
Something a stranger would offer, but Kaitlin never expected it from Finn. From anyone. Life and the experiences that came with it had taught her to keep her dreams and desires well hidden. They were weaknesses that the people she thought should care about her would exploit for their benefit.
“Nothing I’ve seen you do has been a waste of time,” Finn said into her hair. He stroked the back of her jersey-knit dress, his touch far too comforting.
“I don’t know why it bothers me so much,” she admitted. “It’s not a big deal. Who cares if I get a degree?” She hiccuped, then continued, “I should be content with the life I have, which is more than I ever thought I’d get.”
“Stop selling yourself short.” The words were quiet but firm. “You came up with some great ideas for modernizing the way First Trust does business. It was amazing. There’s no doubt you can handle more responsibility, and if a degree will give you more confidence, that’s great.”
“No one but Jack knows.”
“Why?”
She forced herself to pull away, smoothing a hand over the wrinkled fabric of his suit jacket. “Because of what I heard Liz and Cassie saying about me. I don’t want them to think I’m trying to be better than I am.”
“Isn’t the point of living—to keep working to become better than we are?” He placed a finger under her chin and tipped it up. “You have a place at the bank. Not waiting tables or whatever other job you think is in your future. You’re good here.”
She could get used to this...having this man in her corner. But she knew it wouldn’t last, even if she allowed herself to raze her walls and open to him. “What about when you’re gone?”
“Dad will need you more then,” he answered without hesitation.
It wasn’t what she wanted to hear. In her silly, stupid, vulnerable heart, she wished for him to tell her that she was changing things. That he could see himself in Starlight, making a life with her at his side.
No.
She wouldn’t let herself entertain fantasies that could never come true. She hated how easily Finn had slipped past her defenses.
“He will, Kaitlin,” Finn said, and she realized she’d spoken the word out loud.
“You’re right, of course.” She made her voice purposely light. “I don’t know why I let those two get in my head. What do I care what they think? Jack is going to need all the help he can get, especially after you’re gone.” She picked up her purse. “I’ll be here for him, Finn. We’ll be fine without you.”
He pressed a hand to his chest and flashed a lopsided grin. “Ouch. You don’t need to suddenly sound so enthusiastic about the prospect.”
“I thought that would make you happy.”
“I’m not in a hurry,” he said with a shrug, matching his strides to hers as they walked out of the bank.
“But you have your life with all your important plans for your career and a wife who will go perfectly with that.”
“There’s not exactly a plan for a wife. And my life will still be there when I get back.” He held open the door for her, then locked it behind them.
“You like it here,” she said with a wide grin. “Admit it. You missed this place.”
He rolled his eyes, then hitched a thumb toward the far end of the street. “I might have missed the sweet potato fries at The Acorn Diner. Do you have dinner plans?”
Chapter Ten
Kaitlin’s stomach picked that moment to let out a rumbling growl. “I do now,” she said. “But I’ll warn you, I can practically eat my weight in sweet potato fries.”
Finn laughed. “I’d like to see that.”
They walked along the sidewalk toward the restaurant, several people stopping to say hello or calling out greetings as they passed. She’d gotten used to the friendliness of small-town life, but she felt a different level of belonging with Finn at her side.
“How is it you’ve been gone ten years and it’s like you never left?”
He grinned down at her. “Trust me, it’s a blessing and a curse. Tell me about your associate’s degree. How far along are you?”
Anxiety tied her stomach in knots. “I’ll be finished at the end of this year.”
“Have you thought about where you want to go for your undergraduate?”
They’d arrived at the restaurant, which was the perfect mix of cozy charm and contemporary flare. Kaitlin knew the restaurant had been a staple in Starlight for decades but the owners had managed to keep it fresh. Much of the menu changed seasonally and they always offered a fantastic selection of food and drink that highlighted the local area.
The young hostess showed them to a booth in the back. “You ask the question like it’s a given that I’ll go on to a four-year degree.”
“Isn’t that the plan?”
“Well, yes...” Kaitlin pressed her lips together to stop from adding a but to her response. “Yes,” she repeated with more force. “It’s the plan. I’d like to stay in Starlight, so I’ll look for online undergraduate degree programs, as well.”
“Can I start you two off with some drinks?” a waitress asked as she approached the table. “Oh, hey, Finn. I heard you were back in town.”
“Hi, Lauren.” Finn greeted the pretty blonde with a strangely tight smile that Kaitlin didn’t understand. She didn’t know their waitress personally, although the woman seemed friendly enough. Her pale hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, and she wore a black T-shirt with the restaurant’s name silk-screened across the front, a denim miniskirt that showed off a great pair of legs encased in patterned tights and stylish but comfortable-looking ankle boots. “I’ll have a beer, please. Whatever you have on tap.”
“There’s a great IPA from a brewery over in Yakima.”
“Sure.”
“How are things in Seattle?”
“Fine.” Finn’s troubled gaze collided with Kaitlin’s and she wished she could understand what had him so upset. “Would you like a d
rink?”
“We’ve got a real nice pinot grigio from Harvest Vineyards down in Oregon,” the waitress offered.
“I’m great with water,” Kaitlin said. “Did you two go to high school together?”
“Senior prom,” Lauren said with a soft laugh. “Finn bought me the biggest corsage. It was like a weird growth hanging off my wrist.”
“So you dated?”
“Not really,” Finn said quickly.
“Neither of us were looking for anything serious back then,” the other woman confirmed. “That changed for me when I met Seth.” She smiled at Kaitlin. “He’s my husband. Five years next week.”
“Congratulations,” Kaitlin said.
“I’m sure Seth was a big step-up from me,” Finn said with a surprising amount of bite to his tone.
“Just a better fit,” Lauren answered, her delicate brows furrowing. “Do you want to hear about today’s specials?”
Finn shook his head. “We’ve decided.”
Kaitlin hadn’t even opened her menu, but she wasn’t going to argue that point at the moment.
Lauren flashed an uncomfortable smile as she nodded. “What can I get for you?”
“I’ll have the pork chop and a salad,” Finn told her, keeping his gaze on the menu.
“How about you?” the woman asked Kaitlin.
“I’ll do a burger, medium well, with sweet potato fries.” Kaitlin handed her menu to the waitress once she finished scribbling the order on her small pad of paper. “Thank you so much. Right, Finn?”
“Yeah,” he agreed, offering the waitress a sheepish smile. “Thanks, Lauren. It’s been a long day.”
“I totally understand that,” Lauren told him. “Seth had a meeting at the bank this afternoon to get final approval for a loan to expand his welding shop.”
Finn traced the condensation on the edge of his water glass with one finger. “You haven’t spoken to him yet?”
Lauren shook her head. “I turn off my phone when I get to work, but he’s been working on his presentation for weeks.”
Finn looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole as the waitress smiled at him expectantly. Taking pity on him, Kaitlin got Lauren’s attention and inclined her head. “I think the table across the way is trying to get your attention.”
Lauren threw a glance over her shoulder. “Oh, right. I’ve taken too much of your time already. I’ll get that order in right away and bring over your beer.”
As she walked away, Finn pressed a finger and thumb to the bridge of his nose. “I should change that beer order to a straight shot of whiskey.”
“The news her husband got today wasn’t good,” Kaitlin guessed.
“It was a fine presentation, but the business isn’t a smart investment for the bank right now.”
“Why?”
His full mouth tightened. “His credit score was off, and I wasn’t confident he could meet the annual revenue threshold. I wish I could be like Mark Cuban on Shark Tank and give money to whatever business struck my fancy, but that isn’t how things work at the bank.”
“But banks are there to help people make their dreams come true.”
“Banks are in business to make money.”
She shrugged. One of the things that she’d first noticed about Jack was his dedication to not only his bank but also the community as a whole. “By helping people make their dreams come true.”
“That’s a fairy-tale version of a much harsher reality,” he told her and she tried to ignore the sharp edge in his voice. She knew his irritation wasn’t directed at her. “This isn’t It’s a Wonderful Life.”
Why couldn’t Finn see the value of giving someone a chance? “But if the business plan was solid, why can’t you give him the money? You know Seth. He’s a hard worker and has made a success of the welding company. I know you’d be making a great investment in him.”
“It’s more complicated than that,” he said, then sat back and let out a breath when Lauren returned with his beer.
“Can I tell you a secret?” the pretty blonde asked as she slid the glass of amber-colored liquid in front of him.
“Please, no,” Finn muttered at the same time Kaitlin said, “Of course.”
“Seth and I are expecting.” She placed a hand on her flat stomach. “We haven’t even shared it with our families yet, but I had to tell someone.”
“Congratulations.” Kaitlin forced a smile despite the way her heart hurt at the thought of Seth sharing the bad news he’d received with his pregnant wife. “That’s amazing.” She kicked Finn under the booth.
“You’ll be a great mom,” Finn said, which seemed to be exactly what Lauren wanted to hear based on the enormous grin she gave him.
“I hope this doesn’t affect anything about Seth’s loan,” she said, her smile suddenly fading. “I don’t want you to think he’ll be less dedicated to the business. It’s the opposite, in fact. He’s so excited to have a kind of legacy for our son or daughter.”
“Everything will still be fine with the loan,” he promised, then pulled his phone out of his pocket. “In fact, there was something I forgot to mention to Seth earlier today.”
Kaitlin’s breath caught in her throat as he shot her a pained look.
“I don’t have his number in my personal contacts, and I’d like to talk to him tonight if I can. Could you put in his number for me?”
“Of course.” Lauren took the phone and tapped the screen. “You’re sure it’s okay?”
“Better than,” Finn assured her, sliding out of the booth. “I’m going to step outside for this call. I’ll tell Seth you said hi.”
“Awesome. Your food should be out shortly.” She looked toward Kaitlin as Finn walked away. “You don’t want anything besides water?”
“Water is perfect.”
Finn still hadn’t returned when Lauren brought their food, and Kaitlin wasn’t sure whether to be nervous or optimistic at the length of his absence If he’d changed his mind about the loan... Jack usually had the final say in those types of transactions and couldn’t imagine the older man denying Seth his loan if Finn supported it.
She picked up a fry and popped it into her mouth, savoring the way the smoky, sweet flavor complemented the crunchy texture.
“You started without me,” Finn said, plucking a fry from her plate as he sat down again.
“What did you say to Seth?” she asked, pushing her plate away and leaning over the table.
Finn took his time cutting into his pork chop. He forked up a bite, his eyes drifting closed as he chewed. “The Acorn isn’t fancy, but no one makes better comfort food.”
He opened his eyes again, giving Kaitlin that half grin/half smirk she’d come to think of as his signature smile. “This is a first for me.”
“What?”
“A woman so infatuated that she ignores an order of perfect sweet potato fries for the pleasure of watching me eat.”
As his grin widened, Kaitlin picked up a fry and flung it at him. It hit him square in the nose before dropping onto the table.
“Good aim,” he told her.
“Finn.” She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t make me come over there.”
He chuckled. “I’m not sharing my pork, if that’s what you’re after.”
She kicked him again.
“You’re like a professional soccer player. I’m going to have bruises.” He made a show of looking under the tabletop. “Are you wearing steel-toed flats?”
“Tell me,” she urged, beyond curious to know what had kept him away for so long.
He shrugged. “I talked to my dad, then called Seth. There are conditions he’ll have to meet and the APR will be a bit higher than normal...”
“But you’re giving him the loan?”
“Yeah. I’m going to help push through a Small Business
Association–backed loan.” He nudged her plate in front of her. “Now, eat before your food gets cold.”
“You sound like somebody’s mom.” She drew in a relieved breath, happy to know he did care even if he had a difficult time admitting it.
“Like my own,” he told her. “Ella and I used to mess around all the time at the dinner table. It was just the three of us when Dad would work late. We gave her a ton of trouble.”
“I can imagine,” Kaitlin murmured and bit into her burger. She wanted to ask him more questions about the loan, the terms and Seth’s response, but she was afraid Finn would change his mind again. What if he redialed Seth and took away his dream because Kaitlin showed too much interest? Because she cared too much about what he’d done?
Stupid. She knew that line of thinking was stupid. Her mom had played those kind of emotional mind games when Kaitlin was a kid, taking her to the pound on a Saturday afternoon to choose a dog, then saying no to whichever one Kaitlin liked best. But Finn didn’t operate that way. And besides, why would her opinion matter to him in the least?
Maybe he still had some sort of leftover crush on Lauren, an unrequited-love type of thing, and his giving her husband the loan was his way of trying to take care of her. All very Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities, which Kaitlin had read for a world literature course she’d taken last semester.
“That burger must be pretty mesmerizing.”
She blinked and glanced up, realizing she’d gotten caught up in her jumbled thoughts.
Finn held out a napkin. “Ketchup on your chin.”
“Thanks,” she mumbled and dabbed at it, feeling color rise to her cheeks. “The burger is good.”
“Are you rushing to eat your food before it gets cold? Did I trigger some kind of childhood memory of your mom’s dinner rules?”
She barked out a laugh. “My mom never cared when or what I ate. Dry cereal was a dinner staple in our house when she could be bothered to shop for groceries.” She shook her head, refusing to let the emotions from her childhood weigh down on her. “I was wondering about Seth’s loan.”
The Best Intentions (Welcome To Starlight Book 1) Page 10