Chapter 19
Matt
“Yeaaahh!” That’s Tyler’s voice. What the hell is Tyler doing in Emilia’s hotel room, and why is he yelling? Are they…? No, it can’t be. He wouldn’t betray Lily. Or would he? What the fuck do I know? Emilia might have seduced him. I’m so stupid. When will I finally learn not to trust my own judgment when it comes to women?
So that’s why my “wife” insisted on separate hotel rooms. All that talk about keeping up a professional image and how sharing a hotel room during road trips would undermine that was utter bullshit. All she wants is to fuck around behind my back.
I need to see them together. I need to let it pierce my heart again to shut down the feelings that have been developing over the past few weeks. I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but she’s managed to break the self-imposed barrier around my heart and smuggled herself straight inside. I’ve fallen for her. We all have. In truth, I never stood a chance. What a fool I am.
I knock on the door I’ve been standing in front of for the past few minutes. Just one way to find out what’s going on. If they’re having an affair, I need to know, and Lily needs to be told as well.
The door opens, and a clothed Emilia greets me mere seconds later. “Hey, Matt, come in.”
I nod and step inside. Tyler’s sitting on a couch with his iPad on his lap and a big smile on his face. What is going on here?
“Hey, Tyler.” Why the hell is he in my wife’s hotel room, sitting on a couch with not a care in the world, yelling “Yeah” for everyone to hear outside?
“Hey, Matt. Come here; you need to see this.” He pats the cushion right next to him. My butt hasn’t even hit the couch before he shoves the screen in my face. “Lily placed third. Look.” He points at Lily’s name on the screen.
“She’s competing against men?” I read the two names above hers.
“Yeah. Women and men compete against each other in show jumping. But look, she’s third. That’s fucking crazy. I’m so proud of her.”
“Congratulation. So, you two watched the competition?”
Emilia sits down on the armrest. “Tyler’s Wi-Fi wasn’t stable enough for the livestream. I found him in the hallway, cursing the… what did you call them again?”
“Connectivity gods,” he mumbles.
I chuckle. “So, you rescued him?”
“Can’t have our best center forward unhappy because the internet isn’t working in his room.”
I relax into the couch. It isn’t as comfy as our unique model at home, but even a stone bench would feel like clouds to me. She didn’t betray me. I drop my gaze. I should slap myself in the face. To think she’d sleep with Tyler of all people.
“Are you all right?” Emilia places her hand on my shoulder.
“Yeah.” I smile at her, taking in her wide eyes. To say she’s surprised to see me smile would be the understatement of the motherfucking century.
“He’s such a beautiful horse.” Emilia turns her gaze back to the monitor where a slow motion of Lily and her stallion jumping over a high fence replays.
“He smells.” Tyler chuckles.
“Don’t let him hear that. You want him to give his best and win, don’t you?” Emilia scolds.
Tyler snorts. “He doesn’t like me anyway. But he adores Lily. Can’t really blame him, can I?” He winks.
“Is that Danny?” Emilia points to the screen where Lily’s leaving the arena surrounded by several people.
Tyler nods. “Uhh… he’s her physio and went to support her.”
“So, he’s allowed to come to her competitions, but you aren’t?” I ask.
Tyler’s cheeks color a deep red. “Um… yeah… I get a bit excited when she does well. She thinks it’s embarrassing.”
Emilia laughs. “That’s so cute. Poor Tyler.” She pats his head, and he dives away from her mocking hands.
“Where’s the competition again?” I interrupt their childish play.
“Wellington, Florida.”
I whistle. “When are they coming back?”
“They’ll be home in four days. I’ll be all by myself for two days.”
“Poor Tyler.” Emilia tries to pat his head again and succeeds as his eyes are glued to the screen. The camera zooms in on Lily as she’s entering the arena, waving and smiling at the audience.
“She looks so small on that horse.” Emilia shakes her head. “This is so exciting.”
Tyler nods but doesn’t say a word. Happiness and pride are written all over his face. Since both Tyler and Emilia are concentrating on what’s happening in Florida, I allow myself to stare at my fake wife. She’s glowing, not only because she’s happy for Lily. Maybe it’s the pregnancy, but that’s only part of the explanation.
She might not have changed at all, but I’m seeing her with different eyes. Seeing her for the person she is—not for the spoiled rich girl I thought her to be. Emilia has principles, and she lives by them. She’s doing everything she can to make the Ice Tigers a success, no matter the obstacles in her way. My wife might not be a perfect manager, but she isn’t afraid to ask for help when her experience and knowledge aren’t sufficient. I admire her and the way she fights for the team, the way she stands up to her grandfather.
But the question remains, can I allow myself to fall for her? What if she crushes my heart? And what if she doesn’t? What if it is already too late?
If she just wasn’t that beautiful. With every week, she seems more radiant, more secure, and more stunning. And I can’t help but notice how I’m drawn to her, have been from the first moment I laid eyes on her. Until now, I managed to suppress the attraction between us, but it’s getting harder to deny the sexual chemistry. Sexual attraction, that’s what is between us. It has to be.
Maybe if we got it out of our system? Have a friends-with-benefits agreement until our marriage ends? I’ve never had a casual-sex agreement with a woman. Either I was in a relationship or I had a very rare one-night stand. What would she say if I asked her? Would it be enough?
“I gotta go. Tell Lily I said hi and congratulations.” I leave two people with stunned expressions behind when I flee the hotel room.
Once I’m back in my room, I lean against the door, resting my head against the cool, wooden surface. I can feel the cracks in the iron cast around my heart widening. I’m attracted to Emilia. I’m not going to lie to myself anymore. But I’m not sure what I’ll do about it.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, interrupting my thoughts. An unknown number appears on the display. I hate when that happens. Not very many people have my number in the first place, and I don’t want them to hand it out to random people.
The phone keeps vibrating. Someone is adamant.
“Walker.”
“Maattyyy.” The last thing I want to hear is Jackie’s voice. I hang up.
My phone pings with a text.
Unknown Number: I have something important to tell you…
Seriously? Whatever it is, I don’t want to know.
When I don’t reply, the phone vibrates again. I should block her number. Instead, I answer. “Say what you have to say and never call me again.”
“Congratulations. I heard you got married.”
I don’t answer. We both know she didn’t call to congratulate me.
“I wonder what the press will think about the fact that you met her on our honeymoon.” She sounds sober. Too sober for my taste. Jackie’s always been a conniving bitch, but I was an idiot and didn’t see it. Didn’t want to see it.
“What do you want?”
“Ten thousand cash—”
“Forget it.” I hang up. If she thinks she can blackmail me into handing over my money, she can go to hell. I drop the phone back in my pocket and run my fingers through my hair. Shit.
We don’t need bad publicity. Emilia’s grandfather might implode. I’m not his favorite person in the world as it is. It can’t be helped. I turn around and make my way back to Emilia’s room and knock twice on th
e door.
Tyler opens the door, making way for me to step inside. “I was just about to leave.” He pushes past me, and I close the door behind him.
Emilia stands in the middle of the room with her arms crossed over her chest. “You were pretty rude, leaving like that.”
I sigh. “I know. Listen, Emilia, we have a problem. My ex….”
She opens her eyes wider, but her arms remain crossed beneath her breasts.
I take a deep breath and say what needs to be said. “My ex, Jackie, she… she wants money. That’s all she ever wanted.” I shake my head, realizing my own stupidity. Money and prestige. Jackie never wanted me for myself. She wanted to be a trophy wife, only working part-time in the hair salon to brag about her NHL boyfriend and show off her designer clothes and bags. And let’s not forget the jewelry. I want to throw up just thinking about it.
At the beginning of our relationship, I loved the way her eyes shone whenever I bought her something new. She loved the gifts and told me how much she loved me all the time.
Note to self: Money can’t buy you love.
Growing up, I never was the guy the girls went crazy over. I had girlfriends, but I didn’t attract the uber-gorgeous girls. Jackie was the first bombshell who showed an interest in me. I should have known then and there that it was never about me. She didn’t want Matt. She wanted the hockey player and the money that came with him. Until even that wasn’t enough anymore. Of all the things she could have done, she had to sleep with my brother.
A wave of air hits me when Emilia sways her hand in front of my face, bringing me back to the present. “Matt!”
I shake my head as if to shake off the unwanted memories. “Sorry. What did you say?”
“How much does she want? And why?”
“Uh… she wants to sell parts of our story to the press. I…” Shit, I should have listened to what she plans to do. “I don’t know what she wants to tell them, just that it could be of interest to them that you and me… that we met on our honeymoon.”
“You wanted to marry her?” Emilia takes a step back.
What am I supposed to say? I nod and hold her gaze, feeling… ashamed. Ashamed that my judgment when it comes to women is… was piss-poor.
“Did… did she break up with you?” Emilia’s voice is barely audible.
“I found her in bed with my brother.”
Emilia’s hand flies to her mouth, and her big brown eyes open to comical wideness. But it’s what she does that surprises me most. She walks over and hugs me close, while I stand stock-still, unsure how to react. Her body is warm against mine, and the skin on my arms tingles where our flesh touches.
“I’m so sorry, Matt.” She pulls back, a concerned look on her face, while I’m still frozen in place.
“I don’t need your pity.” She jerks back as if I slapped her, a hurt expression on her face. Shit, trust me to make it even worse. The last thing I want to do is hurt her. “I’m sorry.” I reach out and touch her arm. The caress is innocent enough, but my fingertips alone on her soft skin are enough to send jolts of electricity down my spine. How am I going to survive the remainder of our marriage without going crazy?
Goose bumps appear on Emilia’s arm. At least I’m not the only one affected by skin-to-skin contact. What the hell have we created for ourselves? And how can we escape it with both our minds intact?
I leave my fingers where they are, unwilling to lose our connection. “None of this is your fault. I didn’t want to lash out. Jackie… she brings out the worst in me. I…” Why am I telling her everything? It’s as if my mouth has developed a life of its own, and I can’t stop it from giving away my secrets. “I’m over her. But… my brother and I… we were not close, but after I found them…. They betrayed me, and until very recently, they lived in my house. The police had to throw them out. It’s why my dad doesn’t talk to me anymore. It was…. My brother is an addict. He’s… he doesn’t have his life under control anymore. I don’t know what she wanted from him. All she wants is money and fame.”
Emilia shakes her head. “I’m so sorry. And… I don’t know what to say.” She shakes her head again. “Don’t give her a penny. The PR team can handle it, should she try to sell her story. Honestly, I don’t even care. She can’t hurt us. We’ll send our lawyers after her. I’ll call them right away. Does she owe you money? Rent or…?”
She keeps saying “us,” and it sounds right. “I never charged rent. And, no, I don’t want anything to do with her. Send the lawyers if she sells bullshit to the press. Other than that… she isn’t important anymore.”
“I’ll take care of her. Don’t you worry. You concentrate on winning the next game, and I’ll handle Jackie. Just… tell me if she contacts you again. And don’t talk to her.”
“Didn’t plan to. I hung up on her today. That might have pissed her off even more.”
Our gazes meet, and for a moment, time stands still. There is no Jackie. No Ice Tigers. No Signore Ravelli. It’s just us.
Until Emilia’s phone rings. Her eyes close for a split second, and the moment is gone.
She exhales audibly. “I need to answer that.”
My shoulders slump. “I gotta go anyway. Thanks, Emilia.”
“It’s nothing. We’re a team.”
“Yeah, that we are.” My voice is raw when I speak. I hold her gaze for a second. Then I bow and turn. “Milady.”
“Captain.” Her voice follows me outside the room, and the corners of my mouth lift.
Milady and Captain. That’s what we are.
And I would do good to remember our different standings in life before I do something as foolish as fall for my wife. Fake wife, Matt.
Temporary. Fake wife.
Chapter 20
Matt
“Matt, could you please zip up my dress?” Emilia’s voice sounds through the apartment.
I pause and then close the last button on my waistcoat. “Yes, I’m coming.” I wish I was. Deep inside her. My dick twitches in my pants. Shit, not again.
“Are you sure you want to wear this?” I take in the figure-hugging black scrap of cloth she’s wearing.
“Why? Is something wrong with the dress? Is there a hole somewhere?” She looks down and turns from one side to the other.
“No.” But it’s freaking driving me nuts to see you in that thing. How am I going to hide a boner tonight? I don’t have time to rub one out before we have to leave. “The dress is fine.”
“Do you think I should hide my bump?”
Hell no. I want every fucker in the room to see that she’s taken. Since our photo shoot and the evening when she slept in my arms on the couch, I’ve lost all control over my traitorous dick. I’m sporting a hard-on most of the day, and lotion has become my best friend while I jack off before I can think of sleep. My balls are in real danger of exploding these days, and pleasuring myself doesn’t do the deed anymore. My dick wants Emilia. My heart wants Emilia. But my head is still struggling.
I should concentrate on the upcoming games. Instead, I think of my wife most of the time, with a raging hard-on. Thinking and a pulsing erection don’t go well together. I’ve gotten used to tossing and turning half the night before sleep takes pity on me and I can finally find some peace—only to be awakened by another hard-on. I’m reliving my teenage years, but ten times worse. Because back then, I didn’t have to endure my beautiful wife’s presence. She’s so close and yet out of reach. Constantly teasing me, without any hope for relief.
If I could only trust my instincts when it comes to women. Jackie messed me up for good. Emilia isn’t like my gold-digger ex. On a rational level, I know that, but trusting her is a different matter.
She and I come from different worlds. Her grandfather hates me, and I’m not sure if staying with me in the long run would destroy whatever is left of their relationship for good.
She wants his respect. Who am I to stand in her way?
“You look beautiful.” Her head flies to me, and I regret my c
hoice of words. I don’t want her to think there can ever be more than friendship between us. My resolve stands.
“Thank you. You don’t look too shabby either.”
My neck gets hot, and I avert my gaze to hide the stupid emotions that threaten to make an appearance. I always took pride in my poker face, but when it comes to Emilia, I have the control of a five-year-old when he’s presented with a basketful of candy.
“Let’s go. The doorman already called and announced our driver.” A driver and a limousine, that’s what’s waiting for us downstairs. The blue-collar boy and the princess, that’s what we’ve been called in the press recently. Money-wise, I’m not the poor boy anymore. But unlike her, I know what it’s like to not be able to afford everything. What it was like to have your parents work three jobs to support your dreams.
As much as I hate the way my mom betrayed my dad, for a good portion of my youth, she worked her ass off to support us. Without her efforts, playing pro hockey would not have been possible for me. For a long time, I blamed myself for her leaving us. Rationally, I know things were going on that I couldn’t fully grasp or understand, but my dad mentioned once her workload played a role in her decisions.
It’s not as if I could ask her. The moment she left, she cut all ties with her family, not even leaving a clue where she went. I haven’t heard from her in fifteen years.
“Are you all right?” Emilia places her hand on my elbow before we enter the car.
How did we end up outside?
“Yeah. Just… has Jackie tried to contact another magazine?” I’m not ready to talk about my mom. Probably never will be. As fucked up as her relationship with her grandfather is, my family drama beats hers, times ten. At least she’s still talking to her grandfather—or listening to his demands.
Emilia drops her hand. “Not as far as I know. But our people are watching her.”
I laugh. “You sound like someone from a bad mafia movie.”
“I’m a ‘mafia princess,’ remember?” She winks.
Center of Gravity: An Accidental Pregnancy Romance (An Ice Tigers Hockey Romance Book 2) Page 22