He keeps looking straight into my eyes. “I have one more thing to say, and then I’ll let you be.” He pauses before he launches the last attack on my bruised heart. “Emilia couldn’t be less like your shitty ex, even if she tried. Think about it.”
And that’s what I do. During another sleepless night.
Chapter 21
Matt
“Where were you?” Emilia is on me the moment I stumble into the kitchen.
“At Tyler’s. We needed to talk.” I rub my eyes.
“You smell like a brewery.”
I snort. “So what? We both had a beer.” I fell asleep in my clothes, and I’m still wearing them. I haven’t brushed my teeth yet, but I sure as hell don’t smell like a brewery. Why can’t she leave me alone for the time being?
The only thing I want is a shower and a cup of coffee. Not necessarily in that order. I know Emilia and I need to talk, but I’m not ready for this confrontation. Our future is at stake.
“To celebrate the loss? Or to celebrate that you only received a minor money fine in addition to being ejected from the game?” She’s on me again, prancing in front of me like one of Lily’s horses.
“What is your problem?” My head is about to explode, and I sway from exhaustion.
“What is my problem? Are you seriously asking that? I’ve had four calls from my grandfather. Does that answer your question?” Before I can say anything, her phone rings and she rolls her eyes.
“Hello.”
“Emilia.” Her grandfather’s voice sounds loud and clear through the speaker. Him calling is the icing on the worst cake ever.
She turns and walks a few feet away from me, but her face and body language tell me enough. Signore Ravelli is pissed over our loss, and I don’t want to know what pleasantries he has to say about me today.
Emilia’s shoulders slump. When she takes the phone away from her ear, unshed tears glitter in her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I say, but she waves me off.
“Don’t. I just… I can’t. Not right now.” She flees the room, leaving me feeling like I’m the scum of the earth. Or less.
I sink down on the chair next to me. My head hasn’t even touched the table’s wooden surface before she storms back in the kitchen.
“You know what? Fuck you.”
My head flies up. She looks like a goddess of war with her kimono flying around her. And fuck my life, I’m turned on. Which is completely inappropriate. But… ready to fight, she’s smokin’ hot.
Her brown eyes glitter with a red undertone, making them shine like the fires of hell. Fitting, isn’t it? Because hell is where I am right now. A self-created one. Tyler’s right. I’d lose more if I never gave us a chance. My beautiful wife deserves a chance. We deserve a chance to be a family. For real.
“What the hell got into you yesterday?” Her voice pierces my ears.
“I—” But my wife isn’t finished.
“You’re stuck in your old relationship and won’t give us a chance. News flash: I’m not Jackie. And if you’re still in love—"
I send the chair tumbling backward when I jump to my feet. “I’m not in love with her anymore. Probably never was. You want to know about our so-called ‘relationship’? Here it comes. I tried to keep her loyal with money. Keep her dependent on me. I thought that’d be enough. Women cheat. My mother did, Jackie did eventually, and you had a different man every week.” My voice has picked up volume with every word, and my hands shake at my sides.
“I didn’t have another man every week. I—”
“No, then why were you photographed with them?” I yell. Frustration is getting the better of me, but I can’t help it. Months of frustration need an outlet. This is our turning point, though I haven’t figured out in which direction we’re heading.
“I explained it once, and if you can’t figure that out on your own, you’re the biggest idiot on this earth.” Her whole body is shaking as she throws the words in my face.
“Calm down, Emilia. Your Italian temper is getting the better of you.” Her face is beet red, and I fear for her arteries at this point.
“My Italian temper. You mean the one I worked so hard to keep under control? You want to know what my real Italian temper looks like? Brace yourself, because here it comes.” She picks up a plate and smashes it against the wall where it shatters before the pieces spread all over the floor. She’s on fire.
“Em—” I don’t have time to say anything before the next plate flies an inch past my head. Thank God my wife’s aim is in dire need of improvement.
“You’re a coward. The worst kind. Don’t you realize that with your behavior, you’re not only hurting yourself? You’re hurting me. I’m not Jackie. And I’m not your mother. I’m my own person. Why can no one see that? Why am I never enough?” She takes two cups and throws them in my direction—which is still inches away. But she’s getting closer. Time to put a stop to her outburst.
“Emy.” I duck underneath another cup. My favorite coffee cup, but I couldn’t care less. It’s time to man up and bring my wife up to date about us. “Emy, stop.” I grab her arms and pull them down between us. “Stop.” She struggles against my embrace but doesn’t stand a chance against my strength. “Look at me, Emilia. Please look at me.” I wish I had a third hand to cup her face in my palm. She isn’t struggling anymore but keeps herself rigid and away from my body. I curse myself for the way I’ve treated her over the past few months. I don’t deserve her. She’s way too good for me. But I need her. And I’ll use the rest of my life to make up for the way I treated her in the beginning.
She refuses to comply and keeps her eyes downcast at first. While I wait for her to give in, I admire the way her lashes touch her cheeks—lashes that hide the most beautiful eyes in the world. When they open for me again, I see uncertainty mixed with the tiniest bit of hope.
“You’re right. I’m a coward. The worst kind. I was afraid… afraid of the power you had over me from the very first moment we met. I was afraid of letting you in my heart. But, God, don’t you know I’d bring you the moon, stars, the entire Milky Way if you’d asked for them?”
“The moon… what?” Her mouth falls open.
I chuckle. The world outside is gloomy and rainy, but inside our apartment, the sun has risen. “I love you,” I whisper with my mouth pressed against her ear.
“Did you just say that through clenched teeth?”
I nod and lift my head, taking in her beautiful features while I caress her cheek.
“But… you love me? For real?” Her eyes are bigger than ever before.
I nod again and reach out to tuck a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. “I do. And I’ll practice saying it with unclenched teeth.” I stroke her hair, letting the silky strands run through my fingers. I should have manned up way earlier. My heart is jumping in my chest, and I can’t stop grinning.
She shakes her head. “But….” She opens her mouth and stares at me as if I’m a ghost. I caress her cheek again, and she leans into my touch, carefully, as if she expects me to pull away at any second. Words are not enough to convince her. I pull her closer and let my mouth do the talking.
“Wait—” She pushes her hands against my chest, but I don’t want to let her go. We’ve been apart for too long already. My lips have waited long enough to get to know hers in detail. Every little curve and dent. I deepen the kiss and explore her mouth. She tastes like cherry jam and coffee. Bittersweet. Just like our relationship until now.
She sinks into my embrace, her body melting into mine until her curves are perfectly matched to my frame. Until even a piece of paper couldn’t fit between us. I’m drunk on the feeling of her warmth.
“We’re not having sex right now.” This time, Emilia detangles herself from my embrace.
“You sure?” I bend forward and kiss a trail down her neck. My hands feel empty without her, but she doesn’t mind my kisses. She sighs as I lick across her collarbone and shivers under my touch. I want to go slow,
even if I’m ready to explode. I’ve wasted way too much time denying her and myself. But now I want to enjoy the moment.
“Matt, wait. I mean it. You love me?” She pushes her hands against my chest to make some room between us.
“Yes, I love you. Every day a little more. Do you want me to write it down? I could use Google Translate and write you a love letter in Italian. Not sure how much sense it’d make, but I can.” She takes her hands away from my chest and melts back into my arms. Then she places a finger over my mouth, and I kiss it.
“Ti amo. That’s ‘I love you’ in Italian.” She takes her finger away but holds my gaze.
I bend down and kiss her, two little pecks on her mouth. “Ti amo. Mucho.”
She laughs out loud. “Mucho is Spanish. It’s ‘molto’ in Italian, not ‘mucho.’”
My cheeks heat. I should have paid more attention in Spanish class. “But it counts?”
She nods. “I think it does.”
“Well, if you only think it does, I still have to convince you.” I kiss her for real this time, fusing our mouths in a deep and lasting kiss.
I nearly growl when she pulls back. “No offense. But you need a shower.”
“Sorry.” My cheeks heat further. Yeah, I need more than a shower, but she’s too much of a lady to point out that my breath could use refreshing too.
“We could shower together.” She lets her naked leg roam over my jeans.
“Like in Positano?”
“With my belly in the way.”
I chuckle. “I can be creative.” Then I bow and take her hand. “Milady, would you share my bath with me?”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
And that’s what I do. How could I deny her?
What I have trouble expressing with words, I show her with my body when I carry her into the bathroom and strip us both until there’s nothing between us other than the warm droplets of water from above. I reacquaint myself with every inch of her body, and we finally become one again.
Chapter 22
Emilia
Soft lips drop kisses around my spine, and a warm hand covers the curve of my butt. Snuggling closer, my dream lover kneads the strained muscles in my upper thighs and behind.
“Mmm….” I want to crawl into Matt.
“Good morning.” A low rumble vibrates next to my ear.
“It wasn’t a dream.” I crack one eye open.
“Well, you’re a dream come true, but if you mean, does our kitchen look like a battlefield? Nope, that wasn’t a dream.” Matt’s laughter sounds like music in my ears, yet my cheeks heat up, and I turn away when he bends down to kiss me.
“Hey, Emy, look at me.” His palms frame my face when he turns my head back toward him. He did that a lot yesterday and during the night. The night…. Even in my wildest dreams, I could not have imagined a more perfect lover. Matt’s a giver. A caretaker. My grumpy knight in armor made of carbon fiber, or whatever hockey gear is made of.
He waits until I open my eyes, as if we have all the time in the world.
“I love you, Emilia Ravelli. I—”
“Walker. Ravelli-Walker. I’m proud to carry your name. You should say it.”
“Yes, milady.” He mock-bows and then kisses me.
“Why do you call me that?” I lean in for another kiss. I’ve waited long enough to kiss him as much as I’ve wanted to.
“Because that’s what you became the moment you arrived here. Our lady. I think no one is ever going to forget the first speech you gave us. You were oozing self-confidence.”
She laughs. “My hands were shaking so badly during that speech. And when I returned to my office, I had to send Rob out to fetch me water to clean myself with tissues because my back was soaked.”
“You’re a true master at keeping up appearance.”
“I told you before—a Ravelli never loses countenance. It’s what’s expected of me.”
He covers my hands with his. “Promise me you’ll never keep up appearance with me. I want the real you. Not the flawless Ravelli princess.”
I squeeze his hands and kiss him. “I promise. From the very beginning, I didn’t want to be anything but myself around you. I wanted you to see me for myself and not for my family’s last name.”
“I’d never heard of the Ravelli family before Rob informed us about the sale.”
“I know. Still, whenever it’s just the two of us, it’s Matt and Emilia. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
“Sounds perfect. I’m Matt from Brooklyn. Nice to meet you.” He kisses my hand.
“I’m Emilia from Rome. Nice to meet you too.”
We shake hands and burst out laughing. My head falls against his chest, and he wraps me in his arms as if he’ll never let me out of them ever again.
“I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye in Positano. I…. You certainly met me at a low point. I didn’t know what to say and took the easy way out.”
I snuggle closer to him. If it were possible, I’d crawl inside him. “Even if you’d stayed… I wasn’t ready for… us. And neither were you. But I’m ready now.”
His head bobs up and down above my chin while he holds me as if his life depends on it. “So am I, Emy. So am I. One more thing. I… I was too drunk in Italy. I… if I could, I’d change our first encounter—”
“I wouldn’t. Without all the things that happened, we wouldn’t be here right now. I wouldn’t be in your arms, and that’s exactly where I want to be.”
He pushes me away from his body to look me in the eyes. “Did I hurt you that night? I don’t remember everything… but I was rough, wasn’t I?”
“You… you were overwhelming. And raw. But you didn’t hurt me. You were real. Not fake like the other men I had to ‘date’ to promote clothes. I’m glad it was you.”
He takes a deep breath. “I love you, Emilia.” This time, he says it without clenched teeth.
Before I can declare my love as well, he bends down and kisses me again, making me forget I’m sore in all the right places. Making me forget my grandfather has threatened to sell the Ice Tigers to a Chinese investor. Since my outburst in the kitchen yesterday morning, there’s only been the two of us.
His hands feel rough and calloused on my cheeks when he takes my face in his hands and deepens our kiss. Yet, he treats me like I’m his most valuable possession. I’d swear there wasn’t a part of my body he didn’t explore yesterday and during the night, but he proves me wrong when he tosses away the covers and lifts me up, turning me around so I’m kneeling, facing away from him. Then he kisses his way up and down my spine while his hands roam my sides. My body feels hot and cold all over, and I grab the sheets with both hands, crumpling them in the process. His caresses are the sweetest torture—a torture I’ll gladly take in small doses for the rest of my life.
I shift restlessly when his lips leave my body and his fingertips graze my skin.
“Your skin is so soft.” His voice is low and raspy. “I can’t get enough of you.” Then he presses his lips to my back, and I nearly jump off the bed.
I inhale sharply when his fingertips find my hardened nipples. His touch becomes firmer as he massages my breasts, and I fall against his chest, unable to hold myself upright any longer.
His hands drop to my belly, and while one hand stays there, the other continues its journey to where I want it most.
I shift against him. My heart is ready to explode in my chest when his fingers dance lightly over my clit. Teasing me, taunting me. Promising me heaven on earth.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers in my ear then turns my head around, kissing me like I’ve never been kissed before. A deep plunging. An invasive conquering. A gentle soothing.
I draw in a ragged breath when he pulls away and his lips find my neck, while his thumb slides over the wetness between my thighs at an increasing speed. He strokes me harder, taking away any control from me.
“Let go. I’ve got you.” His mouth lingers over my lips again while his eyes hold
mine as my body tenses in his arms and shatters into a million pieces.
I slump against him, and he lays me down on my side, moving his body behind me with the elegance of a tiger.
“Open your legs.” He positions his shaft as I follow his instructions and plunges deep into my heat. I moan and grab his hand on my belly for support. A minute ago, I’d sworn I could never come again, but now I’m not so sure anymore. His strokes are deep and lazy at first, reaching places that make my toes curl into the mattress while my body hugs his erection. Then his thrusts become more forceful.
“I’ll never let you go now. You’re mine, Emy. Mine. Do you hear me?” He increases his speed as he holds me tighter against him. “You’re my life.” His voice trembles against my ear, and if I could, I’d lift my head and kiss him. But my body is on a journey to heaven, and all I can do is hang on and enjoy the ride while Matt’s body becomes part of mine.
I move with him, syncing my rhythm with his, while he dives inside me with uncontrolled passion until a tremble riddles my body and lightning explodes before my eyes. My subconscious feels Matt stiffen and jerk inside me before he shudders in his own aftermath, but my mind keeps floating in sweet nothingness.
Much later, I open my eyes and turn around, taking in his relaxed features. “That was….”
“Perfect?” He kisses me on my forehead. “That you are.”
“Mmhh… I wanted to say spectacular.”
He laughs. “Let’s call it special to leave room for improvement.”
“You might kill me if you improve the slightest bit.” I chuckle against his chest.
He frowns. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
I take his face in my hands. “No, you made me feel special. And loved.”
He closes his eyes. When he opens them again, they shine suspiciously. “I feel loved too.”
“Hold me, will you?” Molding my body into his, I close my eyes and relax every muscle in my body while his warmth engulfs me.
“Always.” He bends down and kisses me before sleep falls like a summer blanket over me.
Center of Gravity: An Accidental Pregnancy Romance (An Ice Tigers Hockey Romance Book 2) Page 24