Harlequin

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Harlequin Page 8

by Bernard Cornwell


  'Few are so skilled in arms,' Sir Simon said proudly.

  He was about to tell her of his tournament triumphs, sure that she would be impressed, but she interrupted him. 'I meant,' she said icily, 'to discover whether the knights of England are all thieves, poltroons and bullies.'

  Sir Simon was genuinely puzzled by the insult. The woman simply did not seem to appreciate her good fortune, a failing he could only ascribe to innate stupidity. 'You forget, madame,' he explained, 'that the winners of war get the prizes.'

  'I am your prize?'

  She was worse than stupid. Sir Simon thought, but who wanted cleverness in a woman? 'Madame,' he said, 'I am your protector. If I leave you, if I take away my protection, then there will be a line of men on the stairs waiting to plough you. Now do you understand?'

  'I think,' she said coldly, 'that the Earl of Northampton will offer me better protection.'

  Sweet Christ, Sir Simon thought, but the bitch was obtuse. It was pointless trying to reason with her for she was too dull to understand, so he must force the breach. He crossed the room fast, snatched Charles from her arms and threw the boy onto the smaller bed. Jeanette cried out and tried to hit him, but Sir Simon caught her arm and slapped her face with his gloved hand and, when she went immobile with pain and astonishment, he tore her cloak's cords apart and then, with his big hands, ripped the shift down the front of her body. She screamed and tried to clutch her hands over her nakedness, but Sir Simon forced her arms apart and stared in astonishment. Flawless!

  'No!' Jeanette wept.

  Sir Simon shoved her hard back onto the bed. 'You want your son to inherit your traitorous husband's armour?' he asked. 'Or his sword? Then, madame, you had better be kind to their new owner. I am prepared to be kind to you.' He unbuckled the sword, dropped it on the floor, then hitched up his mail coat and fumbled with the strings of his hose.

  'No!' Jeanette wailed, and tried to scramble off the bed, but Sir Simon caught hold of her shift and yanked the linen so that it came down to her waist. The boy was screaming and Sir Simon was fumbling with his rusted gauntlets and Jeanette felt the devil had come into her house. She tried to cover her nakedness, but the Englishman slapped her face again, then once more hauled up his mail coat. Outside the window the cracked bell of the Virgin's church was at last silent, for the English had come, Jeanette had a suitor and the town wept.

  —«»—«»—«»—

  Thomas's first thought after opening the gate was not plunder, but somewhere to wash the river muck off his legs, which he did with a barrel of ale in the first tavern he encountered. The tavern-keeper was a big bald man who stupidly attacked the English archers with a club, so Jake tripped him with his bowstave, then slit his belly.

  'Silly bastard,' Jake said. 'I wasn't going to hurt him. Much.'

  The dead man's boots fitted Thomas, which was a welcome surprise, for very few did, and once they had found his cache of coins they went in search of other amusement. The Earl of Northampton was spurring his horse up and down the main street, shouting at wild-eyed men not to set the town alight. He wanted to keep La Roche-Derrien as a fortress, and it was less useful to him as a heap of ashes.

  Not everyone plundered. Some of the older men, even a few of the younger, were disgusted by the whole business and attempted to curb the wilder excesses, but they were wildly outnumbered by men who saw nothing but opportunity in the fallen town. Father Hobbe, an English priest who had a fondness for Will Skeat's men, tried to persuade Thomas and his group to guard a church, but they had other pleasures in mind. 'Don't spoil your soul, Tom,' Father Hobbe said in a reminder that Thomas, like all the men, had said Mass the day before, but Thomas reckoned his soul was going to be spoiled anyway so it might as well happen sooner than later. He was looking for a girl, any girl really, for most of Will's men had a woman in camp. Thomas had been living with a sweet little Breton, but she had caught a fever just before the beginning of the winter campaign and Father Hobbe had said a funeral Mass for her. Thomas had watched as the girl's unshrouded body had thumped into the shallow grave and he had thought of the graves at Hookton and of the promise he had made to his dying father, but then he had pushed the promise away. He was young and had no appetite for burdens on his conscience.

  La Roche-Derrien now crouched under the English fury. Men tore down thatch and wrecked furniture in their search for money. Any townsman who tried to protect his women was killed, while any woman who tried to protect herself was beaten into submission. Some folk had escaped the sack by crossing the bridge, but the small garrison of the barbican fled from the inevitable attack and now the Earl's men-at-arms manned the small tower and that meant La Roche-Derrien was sealed to its fate. Some women took refuge in the churches and the lucky ones found protectors there, but most were not lucky.

  Thomas, Jake and Sam finally discovered an unplundered house that belonged to a tanner, a stinking fellow with an ugly wife and three small children. Sam, whose innocent face made strangers trust him on sight, held his knife at the throat of the youngest child and the tanner suddenly remembered where he had hidden his cash. Thomas had watched Sam, fearing he really would slit the boy's throat, for Sam, despite his ruddy cheeks and cheerful eyes, was as evil as any man in Will Skeat's band. Jake was not much better, though Thomas counted both as friends.

  The man's as poor as we are,' Jake said in wonderment as he raked through the tanner's coins. He pushed a third of the pile towards Thomas. 'You want his wife?' Jake offered generously.

  'Christ, no! She's cross-eyed like you.'

  'Is she?'

  Thomas left Jake and Sam to their games and went to find a tavern where there would be food, drink and warmth. He reckoned any girl worth pursuing had been caught already, so he unstrung his bow, pushed past a group of men tearing the contents from a parked wagon and found an inn where a motherly widow had sensibly protected both her property and her daughters by welcoming the first men-at-arms, showering them with free food and ale, then scolding them for dirtying her floor with their muddy feet. She was shouting at them now, though few understood what she said, and one of the men growled at Thomas that she and her daughters were to be left alone.

  Thomas held up his hands to show he meant no harm, then took a plate of bread, eggs and cheese. 'Now pay her,' one of the men-at-arms growled, and Thomas dutifully put the tanner's few coins on the counter.

  'He's a good-looking one,' the widow said to her daughters, who giggled.

  Thomas turned and pretended to inspect the daughters. 'They are the most beautiful girls in Brittany,' he said to the widow in French, 'because they take after you, madame.'

  That compliment, though patently untrue, raised squeals of laughter. Beyond the tavern were screams and tears, but inside it was warm and friendly. Thomas ate the food hungrily, then tried to hide himself in a window bay when Father Hobbe came bustling in from the street. The priest saw Thomas anyway.

  'I'm still looking for men to guard the churches, Thomas.'

  'I'm going to get drunk, father,' Thomas said happily. 'So goddamn drunk that one of those two girls will look attractive.' He jerked his head at the widow's daughters.

  Father Hobbe inspected them critically, then sighed. 'You'll kill yourself if you drink that much, Thomas.' He sat at the table, waved at the girls and pointed at Thomas's pot. 'I'll have a drink with you,' the priest said.

  'What about the churches?'

  'Everyone will be drunk soon enough,' Father Hobbe said, 'and the horror, will end. It always does. Ale and wine, God knows, are great causes of sin but they make it short-lived. God's bones, but it's cold out there.' He smiled at Thomas. 'So how's your black soul, Tom?'

  Thomas contemplated the priest. He liked Father Hobbe, who was small and wiry, with a mass of untamed black hair about a cheerful face that was thick-scarred from a childhood pox. He was low born, the son of a Sussex wheelwright, and like any country lad he could draw a bow with the best of them. He sometimes accompanied Skeat's men on their forays int
o Duke Charles's country and he willingly joined the archers when they dismounted to form a battleline. Church law forbade a priest from wielding an edged weapon, but Father Hobbe always claimed he used blunt arrows, though they seemed to pierce enemy mail as efficiently as any other. Father Hobbe, in short, was a good man whose only fault was an excessive interest in Thomas's soul.

  'My soul,' Thomas said, 'is soluble in ale.'

  'Now there's a good word,' Father Hobbe said. 'Soluble, eh?' He picked up the big black bow and prodded the silver badge with a dirty finger. 'You've discovered anything about that?'

  'No.'

  'Or who stole the lance?'

  'No.'

  'Do you not care any more?'

  Thomas leaned back in the chair and stretched his long legs. 'I'm doing a good job of work, father. We're winning this war, and this time next year? Who knows? We might be giving the King of France a bloody nose.'

  Father Hobbe nodded agreement, though his face suggested Thomas's words were irrelevant. He traced his finger through a puddle of ale on the table top. 'You made a promise to your father, Thomas, and you made it in a church. Isn't that what you told me? A solemn promise, Thomas? That you would retrieve the lance? God listens to such vows.'

  Thomas smiled. 'Outside this tavern, father, there's so much rape and murder and theft going on that all the quills in heaven can't keep up with the list of sins. And you worry about me?'

  'Yes, Thomas, I do. Some souls are better than others. I must look after them all, but if you have a prize ram in the flock then you do well to guard it.'

  Thomas sighed. 'One day, father, I'll find the man who stole that goddamn lance and I'll ram it up his arse until it tickles the hollow of his skull. One day. Will that do?'

  Father Hobbe smiled beatifically. 'It'll do, Thomas, but for now there's a small church that could do with an extra man by the door. It's full of women! Some of them are so beautiful that your heart will break just to gaze at them. You can get drunk afterwards.'

  'Are the women really beautiful?'

  'What do you think, Thomas? Most of them look like bats and smell like goats, but they still need protection.'

  So Thomas helped guard a church, and afterwards, when the army was so drunk it could do no more damage, he went back to the widow's tavern where he drank himself into oblivion. He had taken a town, he had served his lord well and he was content.

  Chapter 3

  Thomas was woken by a kick. A pause, then a second kick and a cup of cold water in his face. 'Jesus!'

  'That's me,' Will Skeat said. 'Father Hobbe told me you'd be here.'

  'Oh, Jesus,' Thomas said again. His head was sore, his belly sour and he felt sick. He blinked feebly at the daylight, then frowned at Skeat. 'It's you.'

  'It must be grand to be so clever,' Skeat said. He grinned at Thomas, who was naked in the straw of the tavern stables that he was sharing with one of the widow's daughters. 'You must have been drunk as a lord to sheathe your sword in that,' Skeat added, looking at the girl who was pulling a blanket over herself.

  'I was drunk,' Thomas groaned. 'Still am.' He staggered to his feet and put on his shirt.

  'The Earl wants to see you,' Skeat said with amusement.

  'Me?' Thomas looked alarmed. 'Why?'

  'Perhaps he wants you to marry his daughter,' Skeat said. 'Christ's bones, Tom, but look at the state of you!'

  Thomas pulled on his boots and mail coat, then retrieved his hose from the baggage camp and donned a cloth jacket over his mail. The jacket bore the Earl of Northampton's badge of three green and red stars being pounced on by a trio of lions. He splashed water on his face, then scraped at his stubble with a sharp knife.

  'Grow a beard, lad,' Skeat said, 'it saves trouble.'

  'Why does Billy want to see me?' Thomas asked, using the Earl's nickname.

  'After what happened in the town yesterday?' Skeat suggested thoughtfully. 'He reckons he's got to hang someone as an example, so he asked me if I had any useless bastards I wanted to be rid of and I thought of you.'

  'The way I feel,' Thomas said, 'he might as well hang me.' He retched drily, then gulped down some water.

  He and Will Skeat went back into the town to find the Earl of Northampton sitting in state. The building where his banner hung was supposed to be a guildhall, though it was probably smaller than the guardroom in the Earl's own castle, but the Earl was sitting at one end as a succession of petitioners pleaded for justice. They were complaining about being robbed, which was pointless considering they had refused to surrender the town, but the Earl listened politely enough. Then a lawyer, a weasel-snouted fellow called Belas, bowed to the Earl and declaimed a long moan about the treatment offered to the Countess of Armorica. Thomas had been letting the words slide past him, but the insistence in Belas's voice made him take notice.

  'If your lordship,' Belas said, smirking at the Earl, 'had not intervened, then the Countess would have been raped by Sir Simon Jekyll.'

  Sir Simon stood to one side of the hall. 'That is a lie!' he protested in French.

  The Earl sighed. 'So why were your breeches round your ankles when I came into the house?'

  Sir Simon reddened as the men in the hall laughed. Thomas had to translate for Will Skeat, who nodded, for he had already heard the tale.

  'The bastard was about to roger some titled widow,' he explained to Thomas, 'when the Earl came in. Heard her scream, see? And he'd seen a coat of arms on the house. The aristocracy look after each other.'

  The lawyer now laid a long list of charges against Sir Simon. It seemed he was claiming the widow and her son as prisoners who must be held for ransom. He had also stolen the widow's two ships, her husband's armour, his sword and all the Countess's money. Belas made the complaints indignantly, then bowed to the Earl. 'You have a reputation as a just man, my lord,' he said obsequiously, 'and I place the widow's fate in your hands.'

  The Earl of Northampton looked surprised to be told his reputation for fairness. 'What is it you want?' he asked.

  Belas preened. 'The return of the stolen items, my lord, and the protection of the King of England for a widow and her noble son.'

  The Earl drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair, then frowned at Sir Simon. 'You can't ransom a three-year-old,' he said.

  'He's a count!' Sir Simon protested. 'A boy of rank!'

  The Earl sighed. Sir Simon, he had come to realize, had a mind as simple as a bullock seeking food. He could see no point of view but his own and was single-minded about pursuing his appetites. That, perhaps, was why he was such a formidable soldier, but he was still a fool. 'We do not hold three-year-old children to ransom,' the Earl said firmly, 'and we don't hold women as prisoners, not unless there is an advantage which outweighs the courtesy, and I see no advantage here.' The Earl turned to the clerks behind his chair. 'Who did Armorica support?'

  'Charles of Blois, my lord,' one of the clerks, a tall Breton cleric, answered.

  'Is it a rich fief?'

  'Very small, my lord,' the clerk, whose nose was running, spoke from memory. 'There is a holding in Finisterre which is already in our hands, some houses in Guingamp, I believe, but nothing else.'

  'There,' the Earl said, turning back to Sir Simon. 'What advantages will we make from a penniless three-year-old?'

  'Not penniless,' Sir Simon protested. 'I took a rich armour there.'

  'Which the boy's father doubtless took in battle!'

  'And the house is wealthy.' Sir Simon was getting angry. 'There are ships, storehouses, stables.'

  'The house,' the clerk sounded bored, 'belonged to the Count's father-in-law. A dealer in wine, I believe.'

  The Earl raised a quizzical eyebrow at Sir Simon, who was shaking his head at the clerk's obstinacy. 'The boy, my lord,' Sir Simon responded with an elaborate courtesy which bordered on insolence, 'is kin to Charles of Blois.'

  'But being penniless,' the Earl said, 'I doubt he provokes fondness. More of a burden, wouldn't you think? Besides, what would you hav
e me do? Make the child give fealty to the real Duke of Brittany? The real Duke, Sir Simon, is a five-year-old child in London. It'll be a nursery farce! A three-year-old bobbing down to a five-year-old! Do their wet nurses attend them? Shall we feast on milk and penny-cakes after? Or maybe we can enjoy a game of hunt the slipper when the ceremony is over?'

  'The Countess fought us from the walls!' Sir Simon attempted a last protest.

  'Do not dispute me!' the Earl shouted, thumping the arm of his chair. 'You forget that I am the King's deputy and have his powers.' The Earl leaned back, taut with anger, and Sir Simon swallowed his own fury, but could not resist muttering that the Countess had used a crossbow against the English.

  'Is she the Blackbird?' Thomas asked Skeat.

  'The Countess? Aye, that's what they say.'

  'She's a beauty.'

  'After what I found you prodding this morning,' Skeat said, 'how can you tell?'

  The Earl gave an irritated glance at Skeat and Thomas, then looked back to Sir Simon. 'If the Countess did fight us from the walls,' he said, 'then I admire her spirit. As for the other matters…' He paused and sighed. Belas looked expectant and Sir Simon wary. 'The two ships,' the Earl decreed, 'are prizes and they will be sold in England or else taken into royal service, and you, Sir Simon, will be awarded one-third of their value.' That ruling was according to the law. The King would take a third, the Earl another and the last portion went to the man who had captured the prize. 'As to the sword, and armour…' The Earl paused again. He had rescued Jeanette from rape and he had liked her, and he had seen the anguish on her face and listened to her impassioned plea that she owned nothing that had belonged to her husband except the precious armour and the beautiful sword, but such things, by their very nature, were the legitimate plunder of war. 'The armour and weapons and horses are yours, Sir Simon,' the Earl said, regretting the judgement but knowing it was fair. 'As to the child, I decree he is under the protection of the Crown of England and when he is of age he can decide his own fealty.' He glanced at the clerks to make sure they were noting down his decisions. 'You tell me you wish to billet yourself in the widow's house?' he asked Sir Simon.

 

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