The past two weeks haven’t gone by quickly. Every day is equivalent to being here a month. We’re stuck in the same routine; nothing different ever happens. We are woken up at dawn, we are allowed ten minutes in the shared bathroom, we are taken to breakfast, we are given our job for the day, we get on with it and if we’re still alive at the end of it, we don’t show gratitude. We stand together at the assembly gathering and count the seconds until we’re escorted back to our dorms. We take our clothes to the laundry room if we’re not the ones on duty and then we look forward to bed. And then, we do it all over again.
This is the same loop that most of them have been stuck in for years. It must feel like decades to them, centuries even. Most of them don’t remember the outside clearly. They don’t remember shops or restaurants, or technology, or dinner. Mary doesn’t remember her age. She thinks she’s eleven, but she can’t remember her last birthday because she had never had one. I had to explain to her what a birthday was, a conversation which sparked the interest of all of the dorm members, including Salome. They couldn’t believe that people on the outside celebrate it because they never had. I once had the same reaction when I first read about birthdays and when I put the idea across to my mother, she smacked me across the face.
It wasn’t just birthdays that sparked an inquisition. Once, I brought up Nathan, their questions fired at me like bullets. They had never met someone that had gone against the bible in such extreme ways and the sexual aspects almost frightened them. Salome is the only other member in our dorm that has lost her virginity. I found her past fascinating. She was married for thirty years, bore five children, all daughters and all were members of the Episcopal Church in Connecticut. And then, her husband became obsessed with Cross Academy, to the point where he would disappear in the middle of the night to try and capture evidence of conspiracy theories. And one night, he didn’t return. Her husband vanished. She wouldn’t say how she ended up here, but it doesn’t take a genius to work out that she joined because she thought her husband was here.
Nine years later, she still will never know what happened to him.
It made me wonder about the other members, about Ruth. Did they join to track down a family member too? Or did they just believe this to be an Academy like the advertisement? Maybe, they just needed a break from their lives and Duncan granted it to them. Maybe, he offered something in return. It wouldn’t surprise me if he preyed on the desperate. Nothing would surprise me about that man.
I see him now, across the field. He stands in the compound, staring up at the guttering of one of the cabins with a hand above his eyes. A leader is beside him, pointing up to the corner of the guttering, probably showing him a problem.
I tip the potatoes into the back of the truck, catching the ones that try to roll off the edge and I throw them back in. The blonde supervisor, Terry, is standing at the bonnet with her arms crossed, like she does every time. I’ve never seen her out in the field. I wonder if it’s because she doesn’t want to get her pretty boots dirty or if she’s reluctant to whip members. Probably, the former.
I make my way back to my station with the empty basket swinging from my fingertips and then, I hear a voice cry out. I hold a hand over my eyes, trying to locate where the cry is coming from and I find the person it belongs to. Madam Joan is whipping Mary; the whip slashes across her tiny back as she cowers on her knees holding her hands to her ears.
Why is it always Mary? Does Joan have it in for her?
The other members of group C pause their work, each of them snarling under their breaths just a little, along with myself. Mary’s cries grow deeper as Joan doesn’t seem to be stopping this time. I begin walking in that direction, for some reason, Mary takes comfort in my support after this happens. I’m the only one that can help her.
I pick up my speed and then a giant shadow blocks my path. “Where are you going?”
I place a hand over my eyes again, meeting the grim expression of Madam Bertha. “I… I was just…”
“Going back to your station, I hope?” she says.
“Right,” I say.
“Which is that way,” she says, pointing to the far left.
My face scrunches up for a second before I form it into a smile. “Mhm. Thanks for reminding me that I’m going in the wrong direction. I would have been walking for miles.”
“You’re a funny one, aren’t you?” she sneers. “I don’t like funny.”
“No,” I say. I try to make it not come out sarcastic, but it does anyway. Her eyes begin to narrow and I swallow. “Me either,” I say, backtracking. “Funny is overrated. Why laugh when we can scowl and… be serious… I’ll go now.”
I turn away from her, widening my eyes at how stupid I just looked. I still hear Mary’s cries and I ball my free hand into a fist as every cry pierces my heart. I walk back to my station, to where Mary’s cries are no longer heard, and I re-join Victoria and a small, pretty, freckle-faced girl my age, also named Elizabeth.
“What did Bertha want?” Victoria asks as she drags out a vegetable beneath the soil.
“She wanted to warn me that she doesn’t like funny,” I say. I don’t want to bring up what I just heard, there’s nothing we can do about it anyway. “She’s a strange one.”
“She once told me that she saw a boat in the sky carrying people’s sins,” Elizabeth says. “She takes a pill every morning after breakfast, maybe it’s something to do with that.”
“I think it’s more than a pill,” I say, dropping to my knees. “How long do you think is left?”
Victoria glances towards the sky, she’s like a human clock, she evaluates the position of the sun and then squints at the distance back to the ground. “Another two or three hours until sundown.”
“It hasn’t been bad today,” I whisper, digging deeper into my holes. “I’ve hardly noticed the thirst.”
“The thirst is the easiest thing to deal with,” Elizabeth says from the other side of Victoria. “It’s the whips that slow you down.”
I go to respond to that, but something catches my attention from across the field. The supervisors are walking back towards the truck, they meet Madam Terry and they all stand in a huddle, looking towards the compound.
“What’s going on?” I say.
Victoria and Elizabeth glance up, their hands going over their eyes as they see the same thing I’m seeing.
Suddenly, two shadows crawl from the outskirts of the compound, making their way slowly towards the supervisors that have gathered to greet them.
“Pastor,” Victoria says. “Why is he here?”
“I saw him in the compound, but I just thought he was looking over a cabin,” I mutter.
“He doesn’t come out here,” Victoria says. “The only time we see him is at assemblies.”
“Wait,” I say. “It’s been that way for months?”
“Since I’ve been here,” she says. “Which is a year. I mean, I’ve seen him around the compound a couple of times, but never out here.”
“That’s odd,” I whisper. “What does he do with his time then?”
Victoria shrugs, her eyes squinting more. “That still remains to be a mystery.”
“He probably isolates himself in his office and reads porn magazines,” Elizabeth says.
Victoria and I laugh.
“Something’s happening,” Elizabeth says, her voice more serious.
I squint across the field, watching as a supervisor walks to the first station of members and collects a girl, stirring her back to the gathering.
“Is that Julie?” Victoria says.
Elizabeth nods.
I haven’t met Julie yet, but I’ve heard about her. When she first joined a couple of months ago, because her parents forced her, she attacked Duncan and bit into his arm so badly that he needed stitches. She’s been paying for it ever since. And according to sources, she attacked him again, not long ago, but I just thought that was gossip.
Duncan takes her and along with his shad
ow, they wander back to the compound.
“Where do you think he’s taking her?” I say.
They both remain silent, indicating this is bad. Too bad for them to even give an opinion, because nothing they can offer will make the thoughts better.
“The same place he took Ruth,” Victoria finally says, quiet and sad. “The same place he takes everyone.”
“It’ll make the third disappearance in a month,” Elizabeth says.
“What the hell is he doing with them?” I question.
“There’s theories,” Victoria whispers. “Some believe that they join group D and are hidden away underground.”
“And the other theories?” I say.
“That he’s selling them to other cults,” she whispers.
Elizabeth and I stare at her. Elizabeth because of the shock, but I stare because it’s the first time I’ve heard another member say that word.
“I heard that he’s killing them and selling their body parts on the black market,” Elizabeth says.
“You need to stop hanging out with Thea,” Victoria mutters.
Elizabeth laughs. “Believe it or not, that’s the nicest theory I’ve heard.”
“They’re leaving,” Victoria says.
I watch with them as the shadows become further and further away. And just for a moment, I swear, I see Julie struggle, I swear, I hear her scream.
I pinch my eyes closed as my breaths become heavy and I glance at the ground. Julie is a fighter, she’s a programmed fighter; a survivor.
And she will never fight again.
Chapter 28
Later that night in the dorm, I sit up in bed, staring at the ceiling. It’s a square slab of brick but over the last two weeks, I’ve felt a small drought coming through from somewhere. At first, I thought I was imagining it because no other dorm members can feel it, but then I saw Mary shiver one night. There must be a crack in the foundation, there’s always a crack. I roll my head down, resting my eyes on the wall opposite and I gaze behind her bed. She sleeps on her stomach, her head rolled to the left because she was in too much pain to lay on her back.
I gently lift the covers from my body and I trail over to the door. I place a hand on the small, round doorknob and I twist it, testing it. It’s locked, as always, but I didn’t hear the metal bolt push across this time. Madam Katelyn is becoming forgetful. The only thing locking us in is a small bolt that is wedged between the door and the wall.
“What are you doing?”
I gasp, pushing a hand to my chest as I turn and meet Carol’s eyes. She was given Ruth’s bed the day that I saved her and she doesn’t miss a thing. “Go back to bed.”
“Are you trying to break out?” she whispers
“No,” I say. “I’m just looking at something. Go.”
Carol ignores me and she crouches down beneath the door, her eyes pointing into the small gap. “You need something to pick it.”
“Like what?”
She rubs her chapped lips together, then stares into the air, widening her eyes. Before I have time to ask, she’s walking away from me, back to the other side of the dorm. I hear a shuffling inside the darkness and then she returns with a small object in her hands.
“What’s that?” I ask when she’s back into earshot.
“A pen,” she says.
“A pen? How did you get a pen?”
“I stole it from the letter room. I always kept it with me.”
“In case of what? That you just happened to come across a diary?”
Carol smiles, but I don’t find it amusing. She twists the end of the pen, bringing out the ink cartridge and then crouches back down. “No,” she says. “In case of a chance like this.”
She places the thin tube into the hole of the doorknob and begins fiddling with it, turning it again and again in both directions. I cross my arms; my body begins to tremble impatiently as I wait in agony for the click.
And then, a shadow wanders across the window.
“Stop!” I whisper, I push myself to the edge of the wall, out of sight from the window.
Carol pauses, her entire body freezes as she keeps hold of the tube inside the doorknob. I hear voices coming from the hallway and I fall to my knees, crawling to Carol’s side. We both press our ears to the door.
“Where are you taking me?” a voice asks.
“Quiet!” a voice shrieks back, it sounds like Joan.
A door slams at the end of the hallway and the voices drift away.
“Hurry,” I say to Carol.
Carol nods, twisting the tube carefully until it finally clicks. Her small hand covers the doorknob and she opens it. We both move backwards, getting to our feet as the door slides wide open.
“Stay here,” I say.
“But I—”
“I mean it,” I say, staring into her eyes. “It’s too risky with both of us. I’m coming back, just close the door and keep hidden.”
She nods, moving backwards into the shadows of the dorm. I take a deep breath and I slowly move out of the doorway into the dim light of the hallway. I look right first, checking it’s empty and then I press my back into the wall, closing the door behind me before I begin sliding my way down the hallway.
I reach the door. I open it quickly, stepping out into the fresh darkness of the night. My chest begins to tighten as I breathe unevenly.
“Today!”
That voice jolts my body with fear as I look around the quiet compound almost certain that I’ve been seen. I push a hand to my mouth to keep from breathing too loudly, and my attention drifts right, to where Joan and a girl are crossing the compound in the near distance.
I rely on that dreadful adrenaline to keep me going, pacing myself further and further away from the comfort of the dorm, and I follow behind them, sticking carefully to the shadows. The crunch of their footsteps guides me to the corner that Madam Katelyn led me to on my first day here. It leads towards the field, but I don’t think that’s where she’s taking her.
All of a sudden, many voices can be heard around the corner and my back slams into the brick as I tighten my hand around my mouth, listening to the gathering. I almost walked right around the corner, I was so close.
“Hello, Susan,” a familiar voice says.
Duncan.
“Do you know why you are here?”
The girl doesn’t respond, I can only imagine she has most likely shook her head, too afraid to speak.
“Shall I fill you in?” Duncan says. “You were caught crying in the bathroom this morning and refusing to go with Madam Terry. Why were you crying?”
“I… I don’t know.”
“Do not lie!” Duncan yells. “Do not lie before your Pastor!”
“I’m sorry,” the girl says, on the verge of tears. “I was over-whelmed. I didn’t mean to—”
“Crying is not tolerated here,” Duncan says. “Not for no good reason. Crying is weak. You are weak. I’m afraid after evaluating your overall progress, you will not be continuing the journey here at Cross Academy.”
“What does that mean?” the girl asks.
“It means that something better is waiting for you. Only the strong can remain here. Only the strong can survive.”
A silence follows and I widen my eyes, my heart thumps against my chest until I can no longer feel anything. All I can hear is heavy breaths coming from around the corner and then a blood-churning scream comes out of that girl’s small body. I don’t know what they’re doing to her, I don’t know what’s happening, but her scream is deafening. It is not a scream of pain, but of terror. And that’s worse.
The scream drowns out to another silence and I stand against this corner, with my entire body slowly moving downwards out of shock. There is no other sound from that corner, I have no clue what the hell they’ve done, or where they’ve gone. I gently move my ear further to the edge, trying to hear something. Anything that indicates that the girl is still there, that she’s still alive.
There is nothing.
And then, suddenly, I feel a sharp grip tighten around my arm, yanking me across the wall as I try my hardest not to scream.
I’ve been caught. I’ve been seen.
It’s over.
Chapter 29
I am dragged back down the path by a giant shadow who hangs onto my wrist so tightly that the friction is agonising. The person turns me into the darkness of a secluded pathway and then his body jolts towards mine, his face towers above me, and my head momentarily slams into his chest. With my heart thumping against my throat, and my eyes wide and alert, I stare up into the serene green eyes of Elijah as he holds me against the wall with his hand tight against my lips.
“Stay still,” he says. “Don’t say a word.”
I try to nod, but he keeps his hand firmly around my mouth, holding my head in place against his chest as we squeeze against the wall. Elijah looks towards the street to where footsteps are trawling past and Madam Joan comes into sight as she walks across the edge of the path. She pauses for a moment, bang on in the middle and we’re just feet from her.
Elijah remains calm, his eyes pointed at Joan with patience, but I’m not calm; I breathe out of my nose even harder, causing Elijah to place his entire hand over my nostrils and mouth, stopping me from breathing all together.
Joan cranks her neck, her eyes still staring onwards, and then continues walking, disappearing around the bend of the street.
Elijah finally let’s go of my face and I gasp for air, choking on the oxygen itself. I bend over against the wall, panting uncontrollably as he leans backwards, observing me.
“Was that really necessary?” I demand. “I couldn’t breathe!”
“Why are you out here?” he demands back. “You shouldn’t be here. Do you realise what would happen if they had found you?”
I rest my hands on my hip, spitting on the ground and then I slowly straighten my spine. “Would it be something to do with what just happened to that girl?”
He just stares at me, his face melting into the shadows.
“And what happened to Julie and Ruth,” I continue. “Tell me the truth, Elijah. Please.”
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