"I'm not sorry," I tell her truthfully, and she blinks at me in surprise. "Look at what you accomplished."
"But at what cost?" she murmurs.
The answer is easy. "The loss of young love was the sacrificial price, Eden. It hurt us both, but it wasn't the end of the world for us either. We both moved on and we're both all right."
This is some heavy shit, and Eden's eyes become sadder. I have to bring it back to the funny.
"Of course, you did hook up with that douchebag, so I can't say it was really all right for you," I say slyly.
Eden's eyes immediately lighten and she laughs. "I've got two words for that. Ashley. Barton."
"Touche," I say before I pull her even closer to me to kiss her. When I release my hold, I ask, "You ready to walk into the Pit Stop with me and we'll get everyone to talking about us?"
Eden tilts her chin up, straightens her shoulders. "Sure. Let's go turn this joint upside down with the gossiping that's going to start when we walk in."
I get out of the truck and Eden waits for me to open the door for her. It's not because she's being a diva and expects it, but because she knows I have to do it. It's a southern thing. It's the way I was raised. You open doors for ladies, and I'd always opened Eden's car door to let her in and out when we were dating years ago.
We start walking toward the front door of the Pit Stop and I have a moment of awkward indecision. Eden and I just fucked our brains out for the better part of half a day. I've known her for most of my life. And yet at this moment I have no clue what we are to each other. Should I take her hand and hold it, or do I keep a distance between us?
My initial instinct is to maintain that distance, because as we both discussed earlier, this thing has a time limit on it. While there's no way I could ever keep Eden removed from me the way I have all other women given our history, I'm not sure affectionate actions are a wise idea.
Regardless, my decision is taken out of my hands when Eden's phone starts chiming madly. She digs into her purse and pulls it out as we walk up to the restaurant, and thus there's no opportunity for me to hold her hand.
As I open the door for her, she walks in with her head bent over her phone, scanning what looks to be texts. She doesn't see it as we enter, but I do.
Everyone's heads swing our way and jaws drop. Because it's midafternoon, the diner isn't packed, but there's still a decent-sized crowd. This is the most popular place to eat and there's always a brisk business.
I take Eden by the elbow to steer her to an empty booth and she lifts her head. I can feel her stiffen slightly under my touch as she sees everyone taking her in. I give her a squeeze of encouragement and I can feel her relax.
When we reach the booth, I wait for her to slide in first, and then surprise her when I slide in on the same side.
"What are you doing?" she asks as she continues to scoot over to give me room.
"Sitting beside you," I tell her simply as I reach past her to grab to menus resting at the side of the table.
"Protecting me," she mutters, and I suppose that's true. Besides, I like the way she smells and I don't mind the way our legs press together. I've never minded touching Eden.
"What can I get you two to drink?" Bonnie asks, and my head turns her way. She gives me a smile and then shoots a glare at Eden.
Bonnie Ventura is a historical landmark in the Pit Stop. She's been waitressing here since I can remember, and I'd been coming in here since I was knee high to a grasshopper. She's also the quickest way to spread gossip--outside of taking out an ad in the newspaper--which is I why I wanted to come here and make a public display of acceptance of Eden.
"The entire town is wrong about Eden," I tell Bonnie, and she jerks slightly in surprise. "I found out that Eden had no clue the school burned down and my dad died. Her mail is screened by staff, and it never got passed along to her. She didn't know her business manager approved the five-hundred-dollar donation to be sent."
Bonnie's jaw drops.
I continue. "Eden has been extremely distressed since learning everyone in this town has thought the absolute worst of her these last few years. She's also distressed she didn't have the opportunity to give back to this community. Beyond that, she's heartbroken she didn't get to honor my father, a man she had a lot of care and respect for."
Bonnie's eyes widen and shoot to Eden. I don't dare turn to look at Eden, but keep my eyes on Bonnie and wait for her to look at me again. When she does, I add, "Oh, and we'll both have sweet tea."
As far as I can remember, I don't think I've ever had the power to strike someone speechless. Not even with the things I did to Eden in bed today, as she still at least managed to cry out my name, which did wonders for my ego. But Bonnie just stands there and stares at me speechless, because I've just handed her the biggest, juiciest piece of gossip this town has had in a long time. And just to sweeten the pot for Bonnie, and ensure the word travels faster, I lean toward her to murmur, "And between you and me, Bonnie...Ashley and I aren't seeing each other anymore. I broke it off with her last night."
Bonnie's head nods furiously in understanding, as if she gets that this was part of some large, cosmic game plan. She then looks to Eden, clears her throat, and says with a tentative smile, "Welcome home, Eden. This town sure is proud of you."
"Thank you, Bonnie," Eden tells her, her voice smooth as silk with a polished sheen I imagine came from years of being in the public eye. "That's very kind of you."
I bet Eden really wants to punch her and everyone else for being so rude to her yesterday.
"I'll get this spread around," Bonnie says as she looks back at me. "I mean...I'll get your sweet teas and be right back to take your order."
After Bonnie leaves us, I turn to look at Eden. She's shaking her head with a silly smile on her face.
"You are too much," she says softly.
Before I can respond, her phone starts chiming like crazy again from the top of the table where she'd set it. She gives a pained sigh, picks it up, and looks at it a moment before setting it back down.
"If you need to respond to that," I say as my gaze cuts to her phone, then back to her.
She shakes her head. "It's Brad, and I have no desire to respond to him."
I can honestly say now that Eden is a friend, and this was made possible by finally learning she had no clue about the fire or my dad dying. We have history together, and while we ended on not the greatest of terms, they weren't bad either. We've also reconnected in a very physical and intimate way.
I can only assume that for all those reasons--and despite the fact we've been joking about our exes--I have a wave of jealousy overcome me as I realize Brad's reaching out to her. I just assumed he'd fade away and continue with the chick he was screwing behind Eden's back.
I can't help myself by asking. "What's he want?"
Rather than answer me, Eden surprises me by picking up her phone and handing it over. It's tacit permission for me to read his messages. My eyes move over the words as I use my thumb to scroll through the texts on the screen.
We need to talk. I'm really sorry for what happened. My intention was never to hurt you. Can you please call me? I've left you a few voicemails. Are you getting them?
I went to your house and I know you're gone. Colleen won't tell me where you are. We really need to talk.
Eden...please. Call me.
I know you're reading these texts as they come in. Your phone is practically attached to your hip. Just call me.
I get you're mad. And I'm sorry my anger got the best of me too and I said those nasty things about you. But you know how this industry works. This will be old news by next week. Please call me. I'm so sorry and I love you too much to not give my best effort to make this work.
Eden...baby...please. I've cut things off with Lilliana. It was a stupid mistake, and I was just lonely from being away from you for so long filming. I will do whatever you want to make this up to you.
After I finish reading the messages, I hand t
he phone back to Eden and she sets it on the table.
"Sounds like he's really sorry and wants to give it a go to make things work," I offer hesitantly.
Eden snorts. "He's worried about his next film that I agreed to play a small role in. He wants my acting credibility, given my Oscar, and knows the press over Hollywood's golden couple being in a movie together will boost the film."
I blink at her in surprise. "Is it really that cutthroat? Not about feelings but about business?"
"Every single thing about this industry is nothing but business." Her tone is matter-of-fact, but there's an underlying bitterness there. "It's a tradeoff. I get to do what I love doing, but it's a very lonely profession. Everyone's trying to climb over your back and shoulders to get to the top."
"And you're at the top," I say softly, imagining a lot of people want to take advantage of Eden.
"See, that's just it," she says heatedly. "I'm not at the top. I've won the top award once, and even that little bit Brad wants to take advantage of."
Bonnie interrupts us by bringing us sweet teas with thick wedges of lemon perched on the glasses' rims. Sweet tea is the official drink of the south, and it's not adequately made unless your teeth hurt when you drink it. The Pit Stop's sweet tea is to die for. "Here you go, sweetie pies. Now do you know what you want to eat? Arnie has his famous meatloaf on special today."
"That actually sounds good to me," Eden says without having even looking at the menu.
"I'll have the same, Bonnie," I add.
She beams a smile at me, levels an even brighter one at Eden, and then disappears to put our orders in.
I turn toward Eden and lay my arm across the back of the booth just above her shoulders. I itch to touch her hair, but I don't need the gossip mill running too rampant with guesses as to what may be going on between us. Because fuck...I have no clue myself.
"So what's the deal with you and Brad?" I ask her.
"What do you mean?" She lifts her tea, takes a small sip, and sighs with pleasure. "You can't beat true southern sweet tea."
"You don't seem overly broken up over him," I say, noting something that struck me from the moment I saw Eden pull up in front of Goodnight House. She didn't look broken at all. Just...weary.
Eden shrugs. "I guess I'm still too angry to process the hurt."
"Did you cry?" I ask her bluntly.
"Excuse me?" She pulls her chin back to look at me with surprise.
"Did you cry when you found out?" I clarify.
"I...well, yeah, I cried," she says, and I can tell she had to think about it a moment. "As I ran down the red carpet, looking for my limo."
"Was that the only time?" I push at her, and I know why this is so important for me to know the details, but damn if I don't really want them.
"Yes...the car ride home," she says in exasperation. "What's your point, Coop?"
I take my gaze off her just a moment to reach out to my sweet tea. I take the lemon off the edge and toss it to the table before taking a sip.
After I set the glass down, I turn a bit further in my seat so I'm facing her. "When you and I broke up, there was a lot of crying on your part. Weeks of it."
Eden's eyes drop to the table as she reflects on that. Eden and I didn't have an abrupt breakup. It happened over time, naturally occurring because of the distance separating us and the sudden turn in her life that pulled her away from me. We both clung to the idea of "us" far longer than we should have. There were weeks of phone calls where she'd be sobbing into the phone that she wanted to quit and come back, and then the next call was that she didn't want to give up the opportunity. Our last conversation--the one that ended it officially--lasted for almost three hours, and Eden cried during most of it.
With Brad, she cried on the car ride home.
That makes me feel fucking awesome, and I know I'm a schmuck for that.
When Eden lifts her eyes back to me, they're slightly hardened. Shrewd even. "When I left college and started this new career, from the very start I had no one."
"You had me," I point out, because we were still together.
She shakes her head. "No, I didn't. You were here. My grandmother pretty much cut ties with me. I was traveling the world, and I had no one. I was scared and lonely. I had you by phone, and you supported me, Coop. I know that. But at the end of the day, I was alone. And do you know what happens to someone who spends that much time with just herself?"
I'm entranced by her words. They're hard with a brittle edge, almost like they could shatter. I want to know the answer, but I don't. Still, I ask, "What happens?"
"I adapted," she says tonelessly. "I learned to rely only on myself. My world was just me. It was the price I paid for following my dreams, and it's a hefty price. It makes you guarded and skeptical. The world turns yellow, as if my nature was completely jaundiced."
I don't even know what to say. While I've tried to put Eden out of my mind and eventually did as the years passed, I just assumed she led a charmed life. I assumed she was a princess among commoners and had everything her heart desired.
Eden leans into me. "I'm going to admit something to you that I'm deeply ashamed of."
My entire body stills, because this was not what I expected when I asked about Brad. I know Eden and I still have a deep connection. You don't share the intimacies we just did today without a strong connection and trust of each other. I realize that was always there. But the fact that she is ashamed of herself immediately sets me on edge.
"Eden...you don't have to--"
"You asked what the deal was with Brad, and I'm going to tell you," she says adamantly. "The truth is, I settled when I accepted his proposal. I didn't think I'd get offered anything better. We'd only been together six months when he proposed, and even though I had something inside of me saying it was too soon, I ignored it. I grabbed on to that ring, because I was tired of being lonely. I was tired of shouldering everything in my life. I wanted someone I could rely on, and rant to, and share my joy with. I wanted someone to tell secrets to and who could give me some sort of security. I needed that security because being without it for so long was absolutely draining. I accepted Brad's proposal because I was just plain tired."
Jesus fuck...I can't even process this.
My only experience with love was with Eden fourteen years ago when I didn't know my head from my ass. So I don't know much about it, but I know it shouldn't be like that.
"I was crying," Eden continues in a voice that's filled with self-loathing, "because that little bit of security he gave me was better than anything I'd had in a very long time, and it was gone. I was alone again."
There's a lot to take away from Eden's secret she just told me, but the thing that seems to ring out like huge, golden marquee letters announcing a revelation to me is that Eden wasn't in love with Brad. I think he was many things to her, but he wasn't her soulmate. Not in her heart, anyway.
Not in his either, or the fucktard wouldn't have cheated on her.
My hand drops from the back of the booth to palm Eden's cheek. I'm going to lean in and kiss her so she doesn't feel lonely in this moment. It's an act of intimacy I've never shared with any woman but Eden.
The act of comfort.
But instead, two plates of meatloaf are unloaded onto the table with Bonnie saying, "Here you go, honeys. Enjoy."
Eden blinks as if she's rising out of a stupor and pulls back from me. I turn and smile at Bonnie. "Thanks. Looks great."
"It sure does," Eden says, and once again, her voice is smooth and polished...overly bright. I think it's an act, as she's still not quite sure she's back on good terms with people, and she just admitted to me she was going to marry a guy for security. The Eden I knew who was self-sustaining, independent, and adventurous would think that was a tremendous character flaw to have developed.
But I let it go for right now because we have meatloaf to eat, and a diner isn't a place to get into a deeper discussion about this.
Chapter 13
It's time to reevaluate my life--with peach sherbet cupcakes...
Eden
The ringing of my phone brings me out of a dead sleep and I raise my head from my pillow. My hair is knotted and hanging in my face, so I push it away while I reach over to the nightstand to grab my phone. It's seven thirty in the morning.
I see that Colleen's calling me. Coop has kept me up most of the night doing deliciously dirty things to me. I am in no mood to talk to Colleen, so I hit the button to send it to voicemail.
Speaking of Coop, I push myself up in his bed, bringing the sheet up over my naked breasts as I look around. Almost as if it was planned, he comes walking out of the bathroom with a towel around his narrow hips. His hair is washed but he didn't shave, and I really, really love that dark shadow of stubble. He didn't have that when we were younger.
"Morning, sunshine," he says all bright eyed and chipper.
My voice is froggy with sleep when I return, "Morning."
Coop grins at me and crawls onto the mattress. My eyes inadvertently drop to the gap in his towel before popping back up to his face. His grin widens as he leans over and kisses me. His breath is minty and I hate that mine is probably rancid, but he doesn't seem to care. I run my fingers through the long mass of tangles in my hair, trying to make myself more presentable.
"I've got to run out and handle an emergency irrigation issue," Coop says as his hand comes up to finger the edge of the sheet covering my breasts. His eyes drop there as well. "Probably take me about an hour."
"On a Sunday?" I ask.
"Problems don't happen only on weekdays," he quips.
"Okay," I say with an understanding smile. I watch him still staring at his finger as it runs along the edge of the sheet. His eyes are hooded and warm, and I know exactly what he's thinking. "So get going."
His gaze travels up slowly and he gives me a wicked grin. "It's not that big of an emergency. I don't have to run right out of here. I could...say, for example...crawl back under the covers with you for a little while."
I giggle and push at his chest. "I need a break. You kept me up all night."
God, did he keep me up all night. He was insatiable, but then again, so was I. If he wasn't reaching for me in the dark, I was reaching for him. One time I'd drifted off to sleep, only to wake to find him in me, slowly thrusting from behind. Damn, it was so amazing. He's amazing. Both different and the same, but both amazing.
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