by Julie Archer
“My uncle’s going to be bringing a load of stuff with him tomorrow. I only need a couple of bits for tonight, just so you don’t think you’re going out with Jonas.” The corner of my mouth quirked up.
“I thought you might need these too.” Saff’s grin replicated my own as she held up a couple of pairs of boxers, one with an eagle print and one with a deer print. “In case you get lucky.” She gave me a broad wink, running the tip of her tongue over her lips.
We got a couple more things to top off the outfit: a dark grey peacoat and a pair of black Chelsea boots. I would no longer look like Jonas, thankfully. Although I wasn’t sure I looked like myself either. New clothes, new start. As we approached the till, I felt very much like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. The assistant rang up the purchases and looked expectantly at me as she told us the final price. When Saff brandished a black credit card in her direction the assistant’s eyebrows shot up.
It was still light by the time we got outside, although there was still an hour or so before we were due to meet the others at the pub.
“Do you want to get a bite to eat?” I asked. “Then I can find somewhere to change into these.” I held up the bags.
“Great idea. There’s a burger place along the road here.”
Saff took my hand, which felt the most natural thing in the world, and we walked along the pavement in companionable silence until we reached the restaurant. We got a table by the window and the waiter came over with menus.
“Why don’t we order, then you can use the bathroom?” Saff grinned. “I can’t wait to see what you look like.”
I quickly browsed the menu and ordered the basic burger and fries. I didn’t want to get something with loads of fillings and risk getting guac or salsa on my new clothes. “Right. I’ll be back soon.”
The bathrooms were at the back of the restaurant and as I wound my way through the tables, I was sure I could feel Saff’s gaze follow my every move. Locking myself into the cubicle, I got out the clothes, ripped off the labels and started to get changed. Then I found the two pairs of boxers Saff suggested. Given I’d done the turn-the-boxers-inside-out-to-get-one-more-wear thing, fresh ones wouldn’t be a bad idea. Because if I did get lucky that evening, I didn’t want her seeing the skanky ones.
Saff’s bandmates Darren and Barney made me feel welcome when she first introduced us. At first, they seemed a little sceptical, when she said we’d met at uni, but soon moved on. It wasn’t long before we were all chatting like old friends.
The Duke was an old school pub, with sticky carpets and suspect stains on the stools and booths. We were near the stage—if you could call it that; it was basically an area cordoned off by chairs until the band were ready to play.
“What do you do?” Darren asked when we were crowded around the tiny table.
I risked a sideways glance at Saff, and she nodded imperceptibly. It seemed there were to be some elements of honesty in this fake relationship.
“I work with my uncle,” I said, as I took a casual sip of my beer. “He’s in building and property maintenance. Painting and decorating, that sort of thing.”
“Cool. Do you get to see a lot of rich people’s houses? Like Saff’s?” he joked.
I laughed. It was hard to answer his question as I’d been working with Uncle Col for two days and both of those had been spent at the Barnes’ residence. “Yeah, heaps,” I lied.
He waved his finger between Saff and me. “And you two? You met…?”
“At uni.”
“In a club.”
We spoke at the same time. Saff’s eyes widened in panic as we gave different answers, so I took control.
“What we meant was, we met in a club at uni.”
Darren’s eyebrows rose. “Really? I don’t remember you from uni.”
“Ah, well, we, um, lost touch pretty soon after we met. Only bumped into each other again a few days ago, rekindled our relationship, so to speak.” I blustered through, trying to make things sound believable.
“That’s quick, even for Saff.” Darren laughed and Saff punched him on the arm.
I gulped down more beer, hoping I’d created the cover story okay. When Saff reached over and squeezed my leg, I knew it had been fine.
9
Saff
Sandwiched between him and Darren, my body was pressed close to Tris’. He looked gorgeous in his new clothes and thankfully, much less like Jonas. I breathed in his scent: manly, workmanlike, strong.
Things appeared to be going well. Darren and Barney had bought the story about us meeting at uni. If that was going to be our ‘meet cute’ then we’d have to iron out some details and get things straight. The last thing I wanted was for someone to think it was suspect and call one of us out over it. We’d definitely have to sort it out before I introduced Tris to Rosie. She’d be all over any inconsistency like a rash.
The band started playing and I turned my attention to the drummer. Their musical style was a little more mainstream compared to TheSB’s. They went through a few predictable covers: Green Day, Foo Fighters, that sort of thing. It was hard to read the expression on the drummer’s face, he appeared totally impassive as he did his thing, beating the skins and counting the beats. I wondered if the monotony of playing the same cover song was getting to him. They flew through their short set, which lasted no more than about thirty minutes, receiving an adequate reception from the assembled audience.
As soon as they had finished, Barney sprang up and went over to the drummer, catching him before he left.
Darren leaned over to me. “What did you think?”
“He can play.”
“Do you think he can work with us?”
“You mean, can he work with me, more specifically?”
The sheepish look on Darren’s face gave it away. I knew I wasn’t the easiest person to be around, but I was determined to give TheSB my full attention. At least for a while.
Barney came back. “You want to pop out for a smoke? Then I can tell you what Tommo said.”
I stood up and touched Tris’ shoulder. “Will you be okay if we head outside for a while?”
He grinned. “I think I can manage without you for ten minutes, Saff. I’ll get some more drinks in while you’re gone.”
I almost leaned over and kissed him, which is what a couple would usually do, but something stopped me. There was a little voice in my head telling me a kiss with Tris wouldn’t be fake. “Thanks, Tris,” I said instead. “I’ll have another vodka.”
The boys were waiting on the patio, huddled close to one of the heaters. Darren passed me a cigarette, knowing full well I didn’t have my own on me, and held the lighter out.
“So? What did Tommo say?” I didn’t beat around the bush. I wanted to know if he was interested.
“He’d want to jam with us and see how we gel as a foursome. But in principle, he’s interested.” Barney blew a stream of smoke towards the sky. “If we liked him, of course.”
“I already said to Darren he can play. Is he happy going for more of a heavier, harder sound?”
Barney nodded. “He’s listened to the first SB album.”
I liked how he said, ‘the first album’. It sounded promising for our future.
“And he reckons he can replicate it.”
“When is he free to jam?” asked Darren.
“Let’s go and talk to him now, I’ll introduce you properly.”
He dropped the butt of his cigarette to the floor and ground it out with his foot. Darren and I followed suit and we went back inside.
True to his word, Tris had bought a round and our drinks waited on the table. Barney waved Tommo over and once again, we squeezed around it.
“I can always go and sit at the bar?” offered Tris.
“Why don’t I just sit on your lap instead? Give us a bit more room.” I jumped up, pushed my stool away and carefully lowered myself onto Tris’ legs. He shifted a little, and for a moment I enjoyed the hardening that prodded against my thi
gh. Trying to focus on the matter in hand, I shook the thought away.
“Tommo, this is Saff Barnes and Darren North, the other members of the band,” Barney introduced us, pointing at each of us in turn, even though it was blatantly obvious who was who.
“Good to meet you, I’m Tommo Hicks.” He held out his hand and we both shook it.
“Thought you played really well tonight,” I said. “Interesting choice of covers.”
Tommo shrugged. “Yeah, it paid well and meant I got the chance to speak to you guys. Worked out pretty well for all of us, I’d say.”
“I know Barney’s already spoken to you a bit about this opportunity, but if you’re serious about it, how soon could you start playing with us?” There seemed little point in eking out the chat if we all knew what we wanted.
“I gather you guys are keen to start working on some new material. There are a couple of things I need to wrap up, but I could be available as early as Friday if you’re up for it?”
Jonas would be pleased. We’d be ready to start making music again less than a week after he’d told me to sort the band out.
“Sounds good to me. Guys?” I looked between Darren and Barney who both nodded. A grin spread across my face. “Excellent!”
One of the guys from behind the bar approached the table. “Hi, um, we were wondering if you’d like to do a song?” He blushed as he directed the request towards me.
“Oh, we’re not here to perform,” I protested.
“I didn’t mean the whole band, just you.” He seemed flustered as he fiddled with the button on the cuff of his shirt. “Maybe something acoustic? A cover perhaps?” It appeared he wasn’t going to let it go.
I glanced at Darren, who lifted his shoulders towards his ears. “I don’t have my guitar.”
“Pretty sure you could borrow one,” suggested Tommo. “I’ll ask.” He stood up and went over to where the band he’d played with were sitting. There was a lot of glancing at us, then nodding.
“Looks like it’s sorted.” I slid off Tris’ lap. “Sorry, hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. I’d love to see you play.” He smiled shyly.
The urge to kiss him raised itself again. Mentally, I shook myself. This wasn’t what was meant to happen at all. This is all for show, I told myself sternly. Instead, I smiled back and gently touched his bicep.
“Thanks, Tris.”
Then I turned my attention to Darren, who was tuning up the electric acoustic the other band had lent him. We conferred on what song to play, choosing something we’d usually do in rehearsals. He began the chord progression and I waited for the beat before I sang, tapping my foot on the floor to keep time. Normally, I’d make sure I tried to connect with the whole audience. This time though, I only cared what one person thought.
10
Tris
This was getting weirder and weirder. Two days ago, I’d started out helping my uncle with a painting and decorating job, and now I was sitting in a pub with Saff Barnes and her band, watching her perform.
Life sure had a way of throwing curve balls at you. However, I couldn’t deny this was one I was enjoying.
Saff’s voice was amazing. She was singing along to a Green Day track, and her vocals couldn’t have been any more different to Billie Joe Armstrong’s. The arrangement almost made the track unrecognisable, but her smooth, honey tones husking over the lyrics brought familiarity. It had always been one of my favourite songs, even more so now.
While she sang, her eyes were mostly closed except for the times she focused on me. It was almost as if she were singing it to me, and me alone. Involuntary goose bumps pricked my skin.
Barney nudged me, breaking my reverie. “You all right, mate? Seem a bit out of it there.”
I shook myself back to the present. What the hell was I doing? I know we had to put on an act to make things believable, to make people think we were a couple, but I had to draw a line somewhere.
“Yeah.” I forced a smile. “She’s pretty good.”
“Thought you would have known that, being as you were at uni with us. You must have been to hundreds of her gigs.”
Shit. I hadn’t factored it in after Saff had thrown into the conversation earlier how we’d met. I couldn’t make this look like the first time I’d seen her sing. Frantically racking my brains, I had to come up with something he’d believe.
“True, she was shit back then though. Does she still do the girl band cover?” I crossed my fingers beneath the table, hoping at some point during her music career Saff would have at least done one drunken Kylie impression.
“Ha, yeah, the All Saints one.” Barney laughed. “She does it in rehearsals now though to test her vocals, never in public.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. Score one for Tris. “That’s right.” I glanced over at Saff again, noting her closed eyes. Her face was screwed up as she put her all into the ending, her voice soaring over Darren’s guitar.
As soon as she’d finished, the whole pub burst into a round of applause and wolf whistles. My chest was strangely tight, a sense of pride and enjoyment falling over me.
Saff took a bow, placed the microphone back into the stand and headed back towards our table.
“Well?” she asked. “What did you think?”
Her chocolate brown eyes widened in anticipation as she waited to hear my response.
I tilted my head. “Not bad, I guess. I’ve seen worse.”
“Oi!” She punched me playfully in the ribs.
“Tris still remembers the girl band cover, so that was definitely an improvement,” Barney chipped in.
Saff’s face scrunched up in confusion. “You knew about…I mean you remember that?” She quickly changed her words, breezing over her mistake.
“Of course I do.”
Her smile widened and her chocolate brown eyes stared into mine.
It was as if the room stood still and everyone else had evaporated and disappeared.
All I wanted to do was kiss her. Which would make perfect sense if we were the couple we’d told everyone we were.
But we weren’t.
“Who wants a drink?” Darren barrelled into the group, waving some money around. “I’m down for shots, if you are?”
Saff tore her gaze away from mine and I wondered if she was having the same thoughts. She turned her attention to Darren. “Tequila. Tris?”
I shook my head. “Thanks, but I’ll stick to pints. Gotta work in the morning.”
“Ah yeah, don’t want to be screwing up someone’s paint job.” Darren nodded in agreement. “I’ll get you another beer.”
“Cheers, Darren.”
The guys went to the bar, taking their new drummer with them, leaving Saff and I alone.
“Are you having a good night?” she asked, seeming genuinely concerned whether I was or not.
“As far as a Tuesday night goes, it’s one of the best I’ve had in a long time.” It was the absolute truth.
She quirked an eyebrow. “Really? That good?”
I couldn’t tell her what I really thought, because if I let the truth slip it wasn’t in line with the agreement we’d made. And honestly, I didn’t know what I thought about that.
“Seriously, Tris, you’re great,” slurred Saff, an hour later.
There had been several rounds of shots, I’d lost count how many. I’d stuck to beer, and even then made one pint last at least as long as four tequilas. Saff, Darren, Barney and Tommo had challenged the other band to some sort of drinking competition. I wasn’t sure who was winning, but it seemed Saff was the one who was taking the forfeits when one of the guys failed.
“I’m going outside for a smoke, you wanna come?” she asked.
“I don’t smoke.” She could barely stand up. Part of me wanted to jump up to help her.
“S’okay, mate, I’ll look after her.” Darren took her arm and the two of them stumbled outside to the smoking area.
I watched them go, checking the time. It was clos
e to one thirty in the morning. I winced, Uncle Col would be at the house shortly after eight. At least I could simply roll out of bed and into work.
Barney prodded me with one of his long fingers. “You,” he mumbled. “I don’t remember you at all from uni. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before this evening. So how do you know Saff?”
Turning my glass around in my hands, I pondered how to answer his question. Different courses? Different year? I couldn’t go with different college. Or could I? I chewed the inside of my cheek, thinking that might be the way to go.
“Tris!” Darren’s voice travelled over the ambient music. “I need you. Saff’s been sick.”
Great. Now I had to deal with a vomiting pretend girlfriend. I hoped Jonas had included danger money in the contract.
Following Darren outside, we found Saff sitting on the picnic bench, bent over, her head resting on her knees, a puddle of puke on the concrete by her feet. I sat down beside her, rubbing her back.
“You okay?” I asked.
My question was met with a dry retch and coughing. Nice.
“I think it’s time we went home, don’t you?”
She sat up suddenly, almost losing her balance and falling off the seat. “You’re so good to me. And you don’t have to be.”
Darren’s brow furrowed. “Saff, of course he’s going to look after you. He’s your boyfriend.”
“Course he is! How could I forget that?!” She leaned toward me, as if she were going to kiss me.
“Er, I don’t think so. Let’s get you home, then see what happens.” I turned to Darren. “Keep her upright until I get back. I’ll get her coat and bag.”
I went back inside the pub and got Saff’s things, as well as my own. Darren had kept up his end of the bargain, propping Saff up while they waited.
“Shit, I should have ordered a taxi,” I said, reaching into my pocket for my phone.
“Looks like your luck is in.” Darren nudged me and pointed in the direction of the house opposite where a black cab was dropping someone off.