by Julie Archer
It was coming up to five in the morning, the sky slowly beginning to lighten. I lit a cigarette, the ritual already having a calming effect on me.
Tonight, was the launch party for TheSB’s new EP. Thanks to Jonas and the PR team’s hard work, we were hopeful of some minor success. We were unlikely to trouble the top twenty, but the single we’d released, Smoulder, had been getting airplay on a couple of the independent radio stations, meaning more people were hearing it. My stomach felt like I was at the top of a rollercoaster, about to tip over the edge and feel the wind rush through my hair as I gripped the safety bar. This would be a first where the music—rather than me—would be the focus. Still an occasional feature in the gossip columns, now it was because of my loved-up relationship with Tris, rather than falling out of clubs with some other Z-list celeb.
I hugged my knees to my chest and watched the smoke spiral up to the ceiling, my mind in overdrive once more.
The past six weeks had been a crazy whirlwind.
Me and the band had been in the studio, working hard to get the EP into shape, recorded and mastered. We’d also recorded a rough and ready video to go with the single, thanks to a videographer friend of Tommo’s who was looking for his first break. With everything going on, as well as working closely with Numb Records PR team, doing all the right interviews, the time had flown by, making the fateful night of the party a distant memory.
The party, where I’d lapsed horribly and taken A-class drugs, ending up in hospital, should have been a distant memory. But for two weeks, someone had constantly been reminding me on an almost daily basis of what I’d done, threatening to expose my behaviour.
My phone was in the pocket of my hoodie and I reached for it, my need to read the messages as strong as ever. I kind of liked torturing myself with them. I felt I deserved it. Tris couldn’t know.
The last thing I wanted was for him to end up in prison again just for protecting me.
So I simply hadn’t told him.
As I thought of him lying in bed upstairs, asleep, my heart contracted and I squeezed myself tighter.
Tris Judd. My protector. My saviour.
It had started as a business arrangement. A random idea cooked up by my cousin which ended with me falling in love. After a relationship—and I use that word loosely—history which could be described as chequered at best, I’d finally found someone I wanted forever with. No more random one-night-stands, or gossip fuelling hook-ups in clubs.
Tris stayed here most nights now and I was eternally grateful. When he wasn’t around, I was scared. Scared Carl would come around to the house and try to get me hooked on something.
I knew it sounded stupid. It did even in my own head.
With a hard breath, I punched in my passcode and tapped on the message icon. Although I probably should have deleted them, I didn’t want to. They were a reminder of the night when things got too dark, before making me realise what I needed to see the light again. I scrolled through, reading every word as they drove a knife through my stomach. The sick feeling intensified and I only just made it to the sink in time before I retched.
“Jesus, Saff. You’re not pregnant, are you?” Jonas’ voice came from behind me as I wiped my mouth and straightened up.
“Good God, no!” That was the last thing I needed right now. I was careful about taking my pill. While a relationship may have changed me, I wasn’t ready for kids. It took me back to a conversation with Tris’ aunt about settling down and having a family, a whole football team of children. An involuntary shudder shot down my spine.
I hadn’t told Jonas about the messages either. Even though with one click of his fingers, not to mention the backing of Numb’s legal department, he would have been able to make it disappear. I was too ashamed to tell him.
“What are you doing up at this hour anyway?” I eyed him curiously. He appeared to be in workout gear and was carrying a bag.
He flushed. “Oh, I was going for an early gym session.”
“Really?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Well, yes, and breakfast with a friend.”
“Does this friend also go to the gym?” It made a pleasant change for me to quiz Jonas on his love life. He’d practically made it his full-time job nosing around in mine.
The colour of his face deepened. “Maybe.”
“Will he be coming to the party tonight?”
“Maybe,” he repeated, a shy smile crossing his face.
“Ooo, how long has this been going on for? You’ve been keeping secrets from me!” I teased.
“Is it any wonder? You’ve had enough going on recently without needing to know what’s happening with me.” Jonas looped an arm around my shoulders. It wasn’t like him to be so touchy-feely. Although I knew the almost-overdose had made him even more protective. “Tonight’s going to be great, Saff. I’m really proud of what you and guys have achieved.”
“Thank you. I’m still really nervous though.” I hoped the lie would make Jonas believe it was the real reason behind me throwing up. There was a small element of truth to it. Many people had high hopes for this EP and there was a lot resting on it.
If we got it wrong…
It didn’t bear thinking about.
Jonas placed a kiss on my temple. “You’ll be fine. Take it easy today, find a killer outfit for tonight and I’ll see you there. Don’t be late.”
“With you and Tris bugging me every five minutes, I don’t think there’s any chance of me being late tonight!” I grinned, giving him a gentle push. “Now, I’m sure you don’t want to be late for your date.”
He flashed me a smile and headed for the front door, leaving me alone with my thoughts again.
His words comforted me a little. Deep down, I knew everything would be okay. I had to believe it.
2
Tris
The sound of the front door being slammed woke me. I stretched and reached out for Saff, but her side of the bed was empty. Not for the first time recently, I woke up alone. It still felt strange being here, with Saff. When I’d first started working with my uncle, never in a million years did I dream I’d be in a relationship with a rock singer. Despite the strange way we’d come to be together, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
I turned onto my back, stretching my hands behind my head and stared at the ceiling.
A few months ago, it had all been so different. Waking up in a narrow bunk, with a cellmate for company instead of a beautiful woman, I’d had no idea of the way my life would change in such a short space of time
Despite a few bumps, Saff and I were in a good place. Tonight, she would be showcasing her new music, including a song she’d written for me.
My uncle and I were working on a property around the corner from the Barnes’ house. After we’d finished here, Jonas had recommended us to an acquaintance and suddenly, Uncle Col was inundated with work. I had very nearly cost him the project here, so was pleased things were working out for him. He and Aunt Annie had done a massive amount to support me after I came out of prison. I felt I owed them a lot. This was only the beginning of me trying to pay them back.
When it became obvious Saff wasn’t coming back to bed, I wondered if it had been her leaving the house. I squinted at my phone and blinked in surprise when I saw the time of five forty-five. With a yawn, I pulled myself out of bed and decided to find out where she was. As I passed Jonas’ room, I noticed the door was ajar. Maybe he was the one who had left so early?
Saff sat cross-legged on one of the chairs at the kitchen table. Her back was to me with her shoulders hunched, her pink and blonde streaked hair pulled up in a messy half-ponytail. She appeared to be staring at her phone. I approached her, running my fingertips over the exposed nape of her neck as soon as I was close enough.
“Shit! Tris! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” The phone bounced out of her hand onto the tile floor and landed face down.
I went to pick it up, but she got there first turning the screen towards he
r.
“Great, smashed to pieces.” She showed me the evidence and pouted as she put the device on the table. “Guess I’m going shopping for a new phone later.”
I pulled her towards me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you jump.”
She tried to wriggle out of my grasp, but I held her firm. “What are you doing up so early anyway?”
“I could ask you the same thing. What time did you get up?”
“I don’t know. About an hour ago maybe? Jonas left early too. He’s got a hot date.”
“Oh, so we’ve got the house to ourselves?” I raised my eyebrows, as my fingers moved under the hem of her hoodie. “I could make it up to you for breaking your phone on an important day…”
“Don’t think…” Saff started to speak, but I silenced her with a kiss. My lips met hers, my tongue darting between them as she shifted and moulded her body to mine. I slid the hoodie up and over her head, exposing the strappy vest and lacy knickers she wore to sleep in. Her nipples hardened against the sudden change in temperature. They weren’t the only thing. I dropped the sweatshirt onto the floor, and bent my head, turning my attention to her buds and taking the left one into my mouth through the thin material of her top. My right hand slid to her right breast, cupping it and worrying the nipple with my fingers. Her hands fisted in my hair and I heard her sigh as I continued. I dropped my hand and gently began to stroke her through her panties, until she arched her back and pressed herself toward me as I intensified the pressure.
“Oh God, please don’t stop,” she whimpered. “That feels so…oh…”
Intent on keeping her hanging and wanting more, I drew back and pulled her knickers down her legs. My erection was pressing against the front of the checked pyjama bottoms I wore and I was desperate to be inside her. I’d never felt like this about anyone before. Saff got me hotter and more worked up than I’d ever known. I wanted her so much it almost hurt. I pushed the chair away and lifted her onto the table, spreading her legs wide before stepping into the space between them. As if sensing my need, Saff tugged at the pyjama pants until they pooled at my ankles, her hand snaking its way around my cock. Dipping my head, I buried my face in the hollow of her shoulder, inhaling her familiar scent, gently breathing a line of kisses along her jaw, trying to concentrate as her grip moved up and down my shaft. Just as I thought I was about to lose it, she drew back and hooked the hem of her vest up and drew it over her head, revealing her creamy skin. My gaze appraised her naked body as my cock twitched. She wriggled to the edge of the table and leaned back, bracing her arms against the surface. Her breasts jutted out toward me and I was torn between tormenting her with my tongue again or relieving my own need. The latter won out and I guided my cock towards her, feeling how wet she was. With one delicious thrust, I sighed. It was certainly one of the better ways to start the day.
3
Saff
Fucking Tris on the kitchen table wasn’t how I envisaged the start of launch day. It was one hell of a way to celebrate one of the most important events in my life. Catching my breath as the orgasm rippled to a fade, I clutched him to me.
God, I loved him.
I knew I ought to be honest with him about the messages and how they were affecting me, but it was difficult. His reaction would probably be to find Carl and beat seven shades of shit out of him. I couldn’t bear for him to get into any trouble over me. The fact he was even still around after everything was enough.
“Christ, Saff, I don’t think I will be able to look you in the eye the next time we eat at this table.” Tris laughed, rubbing a hand over his jaw as he bent down to pull his pyjama pants up.
“Well, if you’re hungry…” I spread my legs wide again, seductively sucking on my index finger before bringing it down to my clit. He grabbed my wrist before I could make contact.
“You’re a fucking tease, Saff. Stop that.”
The sparkle in his eye made me believe he wasn’t serious, and when his hand guided mine to where I had indicated, I knew he wasn’t. His gaze met mine, totally focused as he moved my finger in slow circles. Having him control the speed, the motions, but inherently knowing I was doing it all myself made me horny all over again. As he made me increase the pressure, his lips crashed down on mine, the intensity in his kiss all consuming, almost punishing. The ferocity of the kiss combined with the sensations coming from my already sensitive clit made me tremble with unbridled pleasure. I was climbing to a peak all over again and Tris was taking me closer and closer to the edge with each deliberate movement. I wasn’t prepared when the second orgasm hit, quivering violently as I gasped out his name. He released my wrist and I slumped back on the table, the cool wood surface soothing my overheated skin.
“If only you could see how gorgeous you look right now.” Tris was breathing almost as heavily as I was. “What a picture it would make.”
At the sound of his suggestion, I bolted upright, searching for my clothes to cover my nakedness. “I don’t need anyone taking any photographs of me,” I snapped.
He picked up my phone, pretending to take snaps as I scrambled back into my knickers and pulled the hoodie back over my head. I swiped it from his grasp, placing it in a pocket out of his reach. “Stop.”
Tris quirked an eyebrow at me. “That’s not normally what you say.”
“I’m not kidding, Tris; don’t take pictures of me naked. You never know where they might end up.” As I spoke, I knew I wasn’t talking about not-safe-for-work nude shots, I was talking about the ones Carl said he had of me taking heroin.
“I’m not stupid, Saff. I would never do it to you.” He pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head, but I was rigid in his embrace, unable to relax. “Now, I should shower and get to work. Uncle Col will kill me if I’m late again. Want to join me?”
Tempted as I was, I shoved him off. I needed to prepare for tonight.
“You’re pretty edgy. What’s up?”
Rosie and I had stopped for lunch and a drink in Harvey Nichols. Shopping bags were clustered around the foot of the table, more for her than me as usual. Sometimes I didn’t think she needed a reason to buy a new handbag or pair of shoes. We’d been looking for a killer outfit for the launch party. Rosie had vetoed everything I already owned, telling me it was a special, once-in-a-lifetime occasion and I needed something to remember it by.
The most important bag of mine contained a brand new mobile, which I was itching to get set up. I’d contemplated changing my number. However, the explanation for why I’d done so would be more trouble than it was worth. The truth about the cracked screen was much easier.
“I’m nervous about tonight.” The lie slipped out easily. If I was being honest with myself, it wasn’t even a complete lie. I was worried about the launch, but even more worried Carl would turn up and ruin everything. Even Rosie didn’t know exactly what had happened. We’d told her I’d had a reaction to drinking too much and mixing it with more weed than I’d usually smoke. Thankfully, she believed us and hadn’t asked too many awkward questions.
“Why? You know the music is good. Everything I’ve seen online about it only talks about it in glowing terms.”
I tried to think of an analogy she could understand. “Imagine you’ve had a bad shoot. The photographer tells you all the images are amazing, but you know you were on your period and had the biggest spot in history, plus you hadn’t waxed properly. You don’t believe they can be telling the truth because you felt like shit during the whole thing.”
“Yeah, I’ve had those type of shoots.” Rosie sipped her gin and tonic. “The pictures still ended up being fabulous though, and so will you. Stop stressing.”
I wished I could tell her the truth about Carl. I wished I could tell someone. But if I did, it could come at a cost. One I didn’t want to contemplate.
“Why don’t you have a drink? Some wine might sort you out.”
Reluctantly, I shook my head. I’d love a gin or vodka or a glass of rosé. But I’d promised Darren
, Barney and Tommo I’d be stone cold sober when I arrived. I didn’t want to let them down. They’d stuck with me when they didn’t have to. By working our arses off, we’d managed to get this EP recorded. I owed it to them not to turn up pissed and all over the place.
“Not one drop of alcohol can touch my lips until tonight,” I announced, although it pained me to say so.
“Nothing to stop me though, right?” She clinked her glass with mine.
“Saff? What are you doing here?”
I turned and saw Tris’ Aunt Annie tentatively walking across the restaurant towards us.
“Hi, Annie.” I stood up and air kissed her on both cheeks. “We’re getting a bite to eat before tonight.” I gestured to her bags. “Have you been treating yourself too?”
She nodded. “Yes, Col’s sorted out a hotel for us up here so we don’t have to get the last train home.”
I’d completely forgotten Tris had invited them to the launch party. “That’s nice. You’ll be able to have a couple of glasses of wine then.” I gave her a smile.
Annie’s gaze fell on Rosie, her eyes lighting up in recognition. “Ooo, hello! I recognise you from last month’s Elle magazine. You were in the feature on throwaway fashion, weren’t you?”
Rosie preened. She loved it when anyone recognised her, even if it was a middle-aged woman from suburbia. “I was. It makes such a difference when a brand chooses to embrace sustainability, don’t you think?”
“Oh, absolutely.” I noticed Annie trying to shuffle her Primark bag between the others. “Will you be at Saff’s little do later?” she asked, trying to change the subject.
“I will indeed. We can chat more later then if you’d like? I know Saff needs to go home and get ready, so we’ll be leaving soon.” She shot me a look which said, ‘who the fuck?’