by Julie Archer
I left my suitcases by the front door and walked towards him, falling into his arms. We weren’t always the most tactile of relatives, but right now I needed a hug.
When I’d left for the tour last Tuesday, I’d been full of hope, eager for TheSB to be successful. I hadn’t envisaged any of the drama with Scott or Tris and Carl.
If you had, you’d probably have questioned whether I was on something.
Oh, the irony.
“Do you know what happened to Tris?” I pulled away, eager to know.
“Yes.” Jonas nodded. “Giles called me after the hearing. Tris has been released on bail, pending further investigations. I suspect he’s gone back to Annie and Col’s.”
My shoulders sagged. I thought he might have come here.
“Come and sit down, you look like you could use a drink. And then you can tell me what happened with Adrian.”
Almost numb, I followed Jonas into the living room and sank down onto the sofa. I kicked off my shoes and tucked my legs underneath me, pulling down the hem of my skirt. He handed me a large tumbler of whisky and sat at the other end of the sofa.
“If I thought my previous actions were putting me in the last chance saloon, it was nothing compared to this,” I began, taking a sip of the liquor and wincing slightly as it burned a path down my throat. No stranger to the head’s office at school, talking with Adrian had been much like the time I was almost kicked out of college for stealing drink from the student’s union bar. “He bawled me out, ranted about how I was bringing the label into disrepute, then asked how I thought my behaviour reflected on you.” I grimaced, the latter being the one part of his monologue which had hit the most. I owed Jonas a lot, not only as a manager but also as a guardian and a friend. I hadn’t, for one moment, considered how all of this mess would affect him.
“What are they going to do, then?”
“Nothing right now, thankfully. Despite what I’ve done in my personal life, professionally the tour with Trash Gun has been a success. Adrian thinks it will be cutting off his nose to spite his face if they drop us. For maybe all the wrong reasons, TheSB are hot property right now.” I gave Jonas a wry smile. Seriously, I was like a cat with nine lives. “But this was my final warning. Any whiff of scandal and that’s it. I’m done.”
Jonas sighed as he shook his head. “In a way, I’m pleased. Despite everything you’ve been through with Carl and Scott, I also know how hard you worked with Darren and the rest of the band to get there. It would have been a shame for them if Adrian hadn’t seen sense.”
For a brief moment, I wondered how much Jonas had had to do with Adrian’s decision. Whether he’d had any influence whatsoever. I was about to ask him, when there was a knock on the door.
“I’ll go. Benoit mentioned he might pop over.” Jonas stood up and left the room.
While he answered the door, I reached into my bag for my phone. I wanted to call Tris and find out how he was. The screen was ominously empty of messages and my heart sank. I could hear voices in the hallway and strained to hear who was there. I hoped whoever it was wouldn’t stay long. As I punched in my passcode, I heard a noise in the doorway.
“Hey.”
Tris’ voice was the last I expected to hear and as I looked up, I blinked slowly to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating.
I leapt up from the sofa and threw myself at him, breathing in his familiar aftershave as I clung to his body. “What are you doing here?” I murmured into the crook of his shoulder.
“I had to see you.” His hand slipped beneath my hair, gently stroking the back of my neck.
I couldn’t help it. I flinched and drew away.
Tris’ face was contorted in confusion. “What? What did I do wrong?”
“It’s not you,” I whispered. “It’s…it reminds me of something.” A tear slid down my cheek and Tris brushed it away with the pad of his thumb. I took his hand and led us over to the sofa, pulling him down beside me.
“Tell me.”
I chewed on the skin around the thumbnail of my free hand. “When Carl, when I took that first hit of heroin, he stroked the back of my neck. Every time you’ve done it since then…” My voice trailed off.
Immediately, Tris gathered me into his arms. “Saff, I’m so sorry. I had no idea such an innocent, caring, gesture could trigger those memories. You should have told me sooner.”
“There are a lot of things I should have told you sooner.” I reached up and ran my fingers over the bruising on his face. “Then you wouldn’t have ended up like this, with a court case hanging over you.”
He caught my hand and kissed the palm.
I closed my eyes. “You probably hate me because I put my career before you and went to the meeting with Adrian rather than staying at the courthouse.”
“No. Saff, I understand why you did what you did. I love you because of everything you do, even the bad shit.”
My eyes fluttered open, meeting his gaze. “You do?”
The corner of his mouth quirked up. “I think I’ve learned by now that Saff Barnes and drama go together. And you know what? I think I kind of like it.”
30
Saff
Four weeks later
If you’d have told me a month ago, that I’d be performing at The Matchbox again, I would have laughed in your face.
A week after Tris’ court case and my meeting with the record label, Scott Lincoln got in touch, begging me to meet up with him and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Reluctantly, I agreed, suggesting we meet at Monet’s one afternoon when it would be full of schoolkids. Most of the tables were occupied, but I managed to grab one at the back just as it was vacated.
While I waited, I messaged Tris, to see what he wanted to do that night. Almost immediately, he replied suggesting ‘the usual’, which basically meant hanging around the house, watching movies or taking the time to reacquaint ourselves with each other. The distance between us since I’d been on tour had almost evaporated and I loved him being around.
An increase in the general low rumble of noise in the cafe made me look up.
Making his way through the crowd, carrying a massive bunch of flowers, was Scott. He made a beeline for my table, taking a while to get there as he stopped to have a selfie taken with what seemed to be every single girl in the place.
“Fucking hell, Scott, way to make an entrance,” I said, sarcasm heavy in my tone. “I thought we were going for low key?”
He grinned and presented me with the bouquet. “This is to say sorry for being a dick.”
“And you had to arrange to meet up to tell me? Couldn’t you just have got a florist to deliver them instead?” I took the flowers from him, peering at the bright pink, orange and yellow gerberas.
“Ah, but then I wouldn’t have been able to talk to you.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek before sitting down.
I could feel the eyes of all the teenage girls in the place burning into my skin as they, no doubt, jumped to the very wrong conclusion of what that kiss meant.
After the tour, Scott had reached out on a few occasions, offering his sympathy about what had happened on the last night and all the fallout afterwards. For all his front and bravado, he actually wasn’t a bad guy. Or at least that was the facade he was presenting to me now.
He waved at the waitress cleaning one of the tables near to us and ordered a double espresso from her. “Do you want anything?” He glanced at my half empty mug.
“Scott, it’s not table service here.”
“It’s okay,” interrupted the waitress. “I’ll go and grab it for you. It won’t take me a minute.” She beamed at him while she waited for me to make a decision.
“I’ll have another Americano then, black, strong. Thanks.”
“No problem.” She scurried off, clearly eager to make a good impression.
Once she’d gone, I fixed my gaze on Scott. “You said you had a proposition?” I didn’t see any point in beating around the bush.
“A m
usic-related proposition,” he reiterated.
The waitress came back in record time with our drinks. I’d never got served that quickly in Monet’s before. Scott slipped her a twenty and told her to put the rest in the tip jar. I rolled my eyes as he picked up the tiny coffee cup and gulped it down in one. What a waste of coffee.
“Well?” I asked, drumming my fingers on the table.
“I want you to come in the studio and rerecord Wasted By My Side with me.”
I almost choked on my coffee. “You want to what?” To say I was surprised was an understatement.
“Surely you could see how much the audience enjoyed it? We were hot together.” He winked.
I hoped he was joking.
“Seriously, the feedback I got from Adrian and his team was that it was the best received song each night. Because of you.” Scott fiddled with his empty cup, twisting it around on the saucer.
Flattery would get him everywhere. I had no idea of the reception. All I’d had was Adrian bawling me out.
“I think it’s a crazy idea.”
Scott’s face fell. He was obviously utterly convinced I would say yes straight away.
“But you know I’m good with crazy, so let’s do it.”
Once we’d got the agreement from the rest of both bands, we went straight into the studio and recorded the song. It sounded amazing and with a lot of radio support was soon receiving heaps of attention. I’d never been prouder of anything I’d done before.
The Matchbox hadn’t been my chosen venue for the release of Wasted By My Side, but Scott insisted. It was a venue with a lot of history for him and, I guessed, for me too.
Both Tris and I were nervous of going back there again, but for totally different reasons. Despite repeated attempts, Carl wouldn’t drop the charges against Tris and the court case resulted in him receiving a community sentence where he’d be doing unpaid work in the local community. Given his painting and decorating background, it wasn’t going to be all bad. He was already helping one of the local youth clubs to completely remodel their building. Carl, with the blackmail and threatening behaviour as well as assault, was sentenced to a prison stretch. I couldn’t have been more relieved it was over.
Joel from Roccia had asked for an exclusive interview, and I’d gladly agreed. Jonas had recommended I do it to pacify the record company, again. It gave me the opportunity to set the record straight and move on with my life.
A move that meant moving in with Tris. Although we’d spent a lot of time at my place, we both agreed we could do without the interference of our families - in particular Annie - and had decided to move in together. We were still looking for the perfect place, the London property market was a nightmare and moved so quickly, but I was sure it wouldn’t be long before we found somewhere.
I watched him chatting with Darren, Barney and Tommo, the four of them having formed a pretty strong bond, and my pulse raced, awakening butterflies in my tummy. When I thought back to how we’d got together and how I’d initially seen it as the chance to clean up my reputation, I couldn’t have known where we’d end up.
“You seem happy.” Rosie appeared beside me.
The evening was an intimate affair for a hundred Trash Gun and TheSB fans, along with friends and family. I’d obviously invited Rosie, whose gaze I’d noticed kept straying in Scott’s direction.
“I should have stayed with you in Birmingham. Maybe all the shit with Carl could have been avoided.” She touched my arm and gave me a sympathetic smile.
“You weren’t to know. And I don’t think anything would have stopped him until he got what he wanted.” The thought shook me. I believed Carl would have hunted me down wherever I was and taken what he thought he should have. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed the longing looks you keep giving Scott.”
“A girl has needs.” Rosie waggled her eyebrows at me.
“Rosie Tatton! You’re such a slut!”
“What? You think you’re the only one who’s allowed to be happy and have lots of filthy sex?”
“Who’s having lots of filthy sex?” Tris came up behind me and pressed his body against mine.
“You and me, if what Rosie’s saying is true.” I snuggled into his embrace, enjoying the feel of his strong arms around me.
“Wait until I get you back to the hotel later,” he whispered into my ear. “That four poster bed has a lot of potential.”
Immediately I felt my nipples tighten and electricity shot in a direct line to my core. Honestly, Rosie was right about the filthy sex.
Scott waved at me, indicating we should go on stage.
“I have to go and do my thing.” I swivelled around and kissed Tris full on the lips, my tongue darting into his mouth. I couldn’t help myself. I wanted him so badly.
As I approached the stage, I passed Jonas and his boyfriend, Benoit, who was becoming as much of a fixture in the Barnes household as Tris. I winked at him and gave him a knowing smile. He shook his head in response.
The rest of Trash Gun and Darren were warming up. I’d argued Darren should join in and he’d been part of the recording session too. Given how he’d stuck by me, I felt he deserved something from the deal I’d cut with Scott in terms of royalties. It almost felt like we were a supergroup in waiting.
Scott tossed a microphone to me. I almost fumbled it but caught it just in time.
He bent close to me and asked in a low voice, “Did you want to say a few words?”
I hadn’t prepared anything, but now seemed like the right time to say a few things publicly. I tapped the microphone and got everyone’s attention.
“Good evening everyone!”
My simple explanation was met with a huge roar and the nerves bubbling around in the pit of my stomach exploded.
“I just wanted to say a thank you to Scott for giving me,” I looked at Darren, “us, this opportunity. I know Wasted By My Side is very much a Trash Gun fan favourite and to be able to put my own slant on it means a lot. I hope you like what we’ve done with it.” Before I went on, I glanced around the room, my gaze falling on Barney and Tommo, Rosie, Jonas and finally Tris. “You probably also know I’ve been through a lot of shit recently and there’s only one person who has really had my back this whole time. The one man in this room that loves me more than I could ever hope for. We may not have had the steadiest of starts, but I know that whatever comes in the future is going to be everything and I cannot wait to see what happens. Tris, you’re my surprise, my salvation, my saviour.”
As I spoke the final words, my voice cracked. I tried to hold back tears. Now wasn’t the time to break down.
I was strong.
And I knew together we were stronger.
Epilogue
After several months filled with drama and being in the news for all the wrong reasons, we’ve got the exclusive interview with Saff Barnes to find out the truth about Scott Lincoln, her plans for TheSB and that picture.
R: On touring with Trash Gun
SB: The opportunity to tour with Scott and his band fell into our laps. It’s widely known the lead singer of Vision in Dreams disappeared and they had to drop out of their support slot. Given we’re on the same label it made sense for us to step in as we had new music we wanted to try out on live audiences. As the venues were smaller and Trash Gun are already such a major draw, it was a win-win situation for all concerned. I hope we’ve gained a few new fans as a result.
R: On Scott Lincoln
SB: Scott’s a prick. He did something stupid and unfortunately, because of the viral nature of social media these days, everyone believed him. I can categorically state nothing happened between me and Scott Lincoln. On a serious note though, Scott believed in me when a lot of people didn’t, and I applaud him for that. The release of the new version of Wasted By My Side is the result of the tour and our working relationship. Who knows? Maybe we’ll do another collaboration some day or I’ll get him to come and sing on one of TheSB’s tracks.
R: On TheSB’s
new material
SB: I’ve got enough ideas for new material to put out about three albums! I can’t deny some of the things I’ve been through lately have provided inspiration for a lot of deeper, more spiritual tracks. Darren, Barney and Tommo might have something to say about it though, so you never know what’s going to come next. We’re planning on going into the studio again very soon, so you should expect to hear new music coming in a few months.
R: On that picture
SB: Scott Lincoln isn’t the only one who can do something stupid. I made a mistake I’ve paid for over and over again, both with my health and my reputation. If there’s one piece of advice I could give, it truly is don’t do drugs, kids. Having someone hold it over my head to get what he wanted was one of the worst experiences of my life and one I will never, ever, repeat.
R: On her relationship
SB: It may not have been the most conventional relationship at the start, but when fake becomes real it’s the best thing in the world. Tris is one amazing guy and I wished I’d met him sooner. Here’s to our future!
Acknowledgments
I had a plan for 2019. That plan didn’t involve Saff and Tris. They, however, thought otherwise and Fake Rocks is the result. It was only meant to be one book. Again, Saff and Tris thought otherwise, hence Real Rocks. And Scott and Rosie are coming soon…
Writing is only part of the story and bringing a book to life needs an entire village.
Massive thanks to my editing ‘A’ Team - Anna and Andie.
Anna, you are more than an editor and I’m glad you’re part of my team. You’ve given me confidence and belief in myself and somehow ‘thank you’ doesn’t seem enough.
Andie, thank you so much for fitting me in to your crazy, crazy schedule.