My Sunshine

by Catherine Anderson

  As she tried to choose the perfect wall to hang a mountain scene by a local artist, she wished. As she prepared meals to go in the slow cooker, she wished. When she greeted Isaiah as he came in at night, she wished.

  It was partly his fault, she decided. He had a certain way of smiling at her that made her feel like the most special person in his world, and sometimes she could have sworn she saw yearning in his eyes when he looked at her. And just how, exactly, was she to keep her feelings in check when he went out of his way to be so thoughtful? After dinner of an evening, he took to reading aloud to her until it was time for her to leave for work. Even after a beautiful leather sofa and easy chairs arrived for the living room, they sat by the fire on the beanbags.

  It was cozy and a little too intimate for Laura’s peace of mind, with the fire crackling behind them and the Christmas-tree lights pulsing warm color over the room. Isaiah’s deep, silky voice curled around her, working on her senses like an intoxicant. Sometimes she forgot to listen to his words and lost herself in imagining how it might be if he suddenly turned and kissed her.

  She was falling in love with him. Correction: She’d been in love with him for weeks. Laura lectured herself constantly never to let him know. He was a wonderful boss and an even better friend. If not for him, the puppies, each of which she had come to love, would have been put to sleep. She absolutely couldn’t abuse his kindness by making him feel guilty for not returning her affection.

  No, she told herself firmly. Friendship was a lovely thing, and she had to be happy with that. Christmas was coming. She had always loved the season and tried to stay focused on that and enjoy every moment. During the afternoons, when she wasn’t greeting deliverymen and trying to decide where to place furniture, she often baked. She went to her apartment for Christmas tins and filled them with goodies to go under the tree, cookies and candies, fruitcakes and bars. Isaiah was still too thin. She enjoyed seeing him devour the treats. She discovered that he loved chocolate and made him a batch of creamy fudge. Other afternoons she ran into town between puppy feedings to shop for the house, buying vases, throw pillows, and colorful rugs to brighten the hardwood floors.

  By Thursday, the sixteenth of December, Isaiah’s house had begun to look like a home. Laura was giving a silk flower arrangement some finishing touches when the phone rang. She gave the flowers a last pat and grabbed the portable from the kitchen counter.

  “Hello?”

  “Hello, dear heart. This is Mary, Isaiah’s mom.”

  Laura had been in touch with her grandmother since coming to stay at Isaiah’s, but she hadn’t spoken with Mary. “Mary,” she said with genuine gladness. “How nice to hear your voice.”

  “How are the puppies?”

  “Growing,” Laura said with a laugh. “I only have to feed them every three hours now. That makes it easier.”

  “Ah, good.” Mary sighed. “I’m just wondering, dear. Has Isaiah mentioned his birthday to you?”

  Laura perched on a bar stool to admire the flower arrangement on the kitchen table from across the room. Just the right touch, she decided. “No,” she replied distractedly, “he hasn’t said a word. When is his birthday?”

  “Today.”

  Laura jerked erect on the stool. “What?”

  Mary laughed. “You heard me. I called Tucker this morning and surprised him with best wishes, but Isaiah was out in the field, so I haven’t talked to him yet. I’m afraid they both forgot.”

  Laura couldn’t imagine forgetting her own birthday. “You’re kidding.”

  “Don’t I wish. Isaiah has always been my absentminded one, thinking deep thoughts and scarcely aware of what’s happening around him. I might expect him to forget. But Tucker?” She sighed again. “Ah, well, I’m sure it’s because they’re both so busy.”

  Laura had brought only one cookbook from her apartment. Her grandmother had gone through the entire thing, drawing little sketches off to the side of all the recipes. A half-filled cup represented a half cup, etc. Laura used that cookbook a lot because she wasn’t as likely to misread an ingredient amount with the sketches to clarify the measurements. Only she couldn’t remember if the collection included a cake recipe. As a general rule, cakes weren’t her favorite things to bake because they went stale quickly and didn’t freeze as nicely as other goodies. But she absolutely had to make one for Isaiah’s birthday.

  “Anyway,” Mary was saying, “how about a surprise party over here tonight? Dinner, followed by cake and ice cream. Just family—and you, too, of course. Do you think you can maneuver my son into coming over without spilling the beans?”

  Laura grinned. “Yeah, I think I can do that. Do you mind if I bring the puppies?”

  When Laura informed Isaiah that they were going to his parents’ house for dinner that night, he almost groaned. She had been staying at his place for almost a week, and he hadn’t made a single move on her. Tonight he’d meant to rectify that. Surely she’d been there long enough now to know that he wasn’t merely trying to take advantage of a convenient situation. He wanted to tell her how he felt about her, possibly even ask her to marry him, and let Mother Nature take it from there.

  “I’m beat,” he said when she told him about having dinner at his parents’ house. “Can we make it for another night?”

  “No. Sorry. Your mom and I are going to make Christmas cookies.”

  Isaiah thought of all the goodies under the tree and in his freezer. As it was, he’d weigh three hundred pounds if he ate them all. But when he looked into Laura’s pleading hazel eyes, he found it difficult to deny her anything. He sighed. Maybe, he decided, tonight wasn’t the best time to tell her he loved her, anyway. She had to work the late shift. If he waited until Saturday night they’d have the entire evening and night together.

  “Okay,” he agreed reluctantly. “Just let me grab a shower.”

  “Hurry. I don’t want to be late.”

  Unbeknownst to Isaiah, he carried his birthday gift from Laura into his parents’ house. When he collected the cardboard box from the backseat of the Hummer, he mistakenly thought it contained cookie-decorating paraphernalia. He about had a heart attack when he stepped into his folks’ darkened living room. All the lights suddenly came on, and his entire family burst from the kitchen, yelling, “Surprise!”

  Isaiah could only gape at them. Surprise? Then it dawned on him. It was the sixteenth of December, his and Tucker’s birthday. He couldn’t believe they had forgotten. His twin brother, who’d arrived ahead of him, grinned sheepishly and shrugged. “I had a lot on my mind. What can I say?”

  Jake clapped Isaiah on the shoulder. “Happy birthday, little brother. You’ve been a pain in my ass for thirty-four years now.”

  Molly, Jake’s wife, went up on her tiptoes to give Isaiah a hug. “Idiot,” she whispered. “I’ve never heard of senility setting in at so young an age.”

  That was only the beginning. Except for Tucker, everyone in Isaiah’s family felt obligated to razz him about forgetting his birthday. Isaiah took it good-naturedly. Like Tucker, he’d had his mind on other matters, namely a pretty little blonde with big hazel eyes who made him go brain-dead every time he looked at her.

  Dinner was wonderful. His mom had prepared two main courses, seafood fettuccini for Tucker, and prime rib for Isaiah.

  “I had to fix each of you your favorites!” she explained.

  “You’re a marvel, Mom,” Isaiah said. Tucker bested him with, “You’re the most wonderful mother in the world.” When Mary turned away, Tucker gave Isaiah a smug grin and said in a low voice, “Now who’s the number one twin?”

  “Yeah, well,” Isaiah popped back, “you got the charm and I got the brains.”

  After cake and ice cream were served, the puppies had to be fed, and everyone in the family participated. Sly and Garrett got into a fight over who got to feed the thirteenth pup. Laura settled the dispute by letting them each take turns until the bottle ran dry. Watching her with the children, Isaiah knew beyond a do
ubt that she would be a fabulous mother. All that remained was for him to convince her to have his babies.

  When the puppies had all been returned to the wicker basket, Isaiah and Tucker sat on the living room floor, surrounded by loved ones as they opened their gifts. Isaiah got an appointment book from his mother, a new Stetson from his dad, a collection of shirts and ties from his brothers, and two twelve-count packages of gray wool boot socks from his sister.

  “So your socks will always match,” Bethany said with an impish grin.

  Nowadays Laura was doing Isaiah’s laundry, and his socks were all folded neatly into pairs. He glanced over at the lady in question before opening the gift that she’d gotten for him. It was in a heavy, gaily wrapped box about eight inches square. The attached card was from Hallmark, a beautiful outdoor scene on the front with a horse and rider in the distance. Inside she had painstakingly written, Thakn you for beign you. Love awlays, Laura.

  Tears stung Isaiah’s eyes as he returned the card to its envelope. Instead of passing it around, he tucked it under his leg. Eight simple words, but they meant the world to him. He could almost see her, hunched over the card at the kitchen table, struggling to form each letter.

  When he unwrapped the gift, the room grew quiet. Isaiah slowly lifted the chunky figurine from the box so everyone might see it. Handcrafted from Mount Saint Helens volcanic ash, it was a female rottweiler, surrounded by a litter of pups.

  “A paperweight,” Isaiah said huskily. Only it was so much more, something to remind him in years to come of this time that they’d had together.

  When Isaiah looked up, he saw Laura’s love for him shining in her eyes, along with a shimmer of tears. He felt as if a mule had kicked him squarely in the chest. She was in love with him? His lungs deflated. His gut clenched. His heart pounded like a sledgehammer against his eardrums. She loved him. All this last week he’d been planning and plotting ways to coax her into his arms, and she’d been his for the taking all along. How the hell had he missed that?

  The answer was there in Isaiah’s mind almost before he finished asking himself the question. Laura believed with all her heart that her aphasia made her undesirable. His throat went tight as he gathered the torn wrapping paper from all the gifts into a pile. Laura. She’d carefully kept her feelings for him hidden, undoubtedly convinced that he would never return them. She considered herself damaged merchandise. Her ability to be a wife and mother was impaired. What man in his right mind would want a woman who couldn’t write checks, misspelled simple words, and had difficulty talking?

  Isaiah knotted his fist over a clump of paper. He should have felt elated. The woman he adored with all his heart loved him just as much as he loved her. But instead he felt heartsick. It wasn’t only that he’d been holding back sexually, never kissing her or touching her to let her know that he desired her. He’d also failed to let her know how wonderful he thought she was.

  When the mess had been cleared away, Isaiah stepped outside for a moment to make a phone call. When he reentered the house he wasted no time in collecting his birthday presents, his pretty houseguest, and the puppies.

  “I’m beat, Mom.” He hugged his mother from behind where she stood at the sink rinsing dessert plates. “Would you mind if we bail out early? I want to go home and crash.”

  Mary turned in his arms to go up on her tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Not at all, dear heart.” She cupped a hand to the side of his face. “Maybe soon you can bring in some partners and stop working so hard all the time.”

  Isaiah meant to do that far sooner than his mother imagined. He didn’t intend to get married and leave his bride alone twelve to fourteen hours a day. “Tucker and I are working on it.” He placed a soft kiss on Mary’s forehead. “Thank you for the surprise party. It was wonderful. And the prime rib was out of this world.”

  As Isaiah drew away, Mary patted his arm. “I’m so glad Laura managed to get you here without letting the cat out of the bag.”

  His birthday party wasn’t the only cat that Laura hadn’t let out of the bag. She loved him. The thought circled endlessly in his mind, as unbelievable to him after an hour as it had been when the realization first struck.

  He definitely had some fences to mend when they got home. If nothing else, she would go to bed tonight knowing that he thought she was the most wonderful woman in the world.

  After making the rounds to tell everyone good-bye, Isaiah carried his gifts out to the Hummer, then returned for Laura and the puppies. When they were all settled in the vehicle, he peered at her through the gloom, trying to make out her expression in the light from the streetlamp that angled through the windshield. She was smiling, as always, only now he noticed how she avoided looking him directly in the eye. According to Isaiah’s dad, the eyes were windows to the soul. Now Isaiah realized they were also windows to the heart.

  Isaiah was quiet on the way home, making Laura wonder if he was angry with her about something. When they entered the house, Hapless leaped up on Isaiah’s leg, then on Laura’s. Then he ran in figure eights around them, growling deep in his throat and wagging his tail.

  “Hello, Hapless.” Laura set the puppy basket down so she might give the older dog some individual attention. Hapless shivered with delight when she crouched down to pet him. “I think he missed us,” she told Isaiah.

  Isaiah put his gifts on the sofa and peeled off his jacket. After a quick trip to the coat closet, he returned to the living room to add wood to the dwindling fire. With Hapless following at her heels, Laura carried the puppies to the bedroom. Because she had to leave for work in less than an hour, she decided to leave her charges in their basket. She had washed all the bottles at Isaiah’s mother’s house. She set the sack of formula and feeding paraphernalia on the floor by the wicker carrier.

  She jumped with a start when she straightened and saw Isaiah standing in the doorway. He looked pensive, brooding, and so handsome that her breath hitched in her chest.

  “You can put them in the pool,” he said. “You aren’t going in tonight.”

  Laura gave him a bewildered look. “But I—”

  “I called Ellie Kingston. She’s covering your shift tonight and tomorrow night.”

  “But—”

  “It’s my birthday,” he reminded her. “Having you here the next two nights is my gift to myself. I’ll pay you your usual wage if you’re worried about the money.”

  “Don’t be silly. I don’t need the money.”

  “Good. Ellie needs the hours. Christmas and all that. You’re doing her a good turn and making me happy, both at once.”

  Laura wished she could spend the rest of her life making him happy. But she would have to settle for only three more weeks. The puppies would be seven days old tomorrow. Her time here was flying by. Before she knew it she’d be going home to her apartment.

  “Let’s read for a while,” he suggested. “I’ll turn on the tree lights. It’ll be a nice ending to a wonderful evening.”

  Something in his eyes—an intensity in the blue depths that she’d never seen before—made her nervous. She wondered once again if she’d said or done something at the party to upset him. Before she could ask, he turned away from the doorway. She put the puppies in their wading pool and returned to the living room.

  Isaiah was already reclining on a beanbag, his back supported by the hearth, his long legs extended and slightly bent. On his lap he held the mystery novel that he’d been reading to her. The blue plaid shirt he wore brought out the color of his eyes.

  Laura gingerly sat on the beanbag beside him. Hapless immediately launched himself onto her lap. She cuddled the overgrown puppy to her chest, ruffling his ears as she glanced over at Isaiah.

  “Ready?” he asked huskily.

  Laura nodded and settled back, trying to recall the scene he’d read to her last night. A burglar had been rifling the home of the main protagonist, looking for a handgun. The implication was that the burglar meant to do murder. It was a strange novel, in Laura�
��s estimation. No crime had yet been committed. She didn’t know who was going to be killed. She only knew that the burglar meant to do the deed and pin the crime on the hero.

  Isaiah began to read, his voice deep and silky, his pronunciation of every word perfect. Lulled by the story, Laura soon felt totally relaxed. Hapless fell asleep with his head nestled between her breasts, his snores adding yet another layer of coziness to the winter night.

  Isaiah suddenly stopped reading and reached for another book lying on the hearth. As he opened to the first page, Laura gave him a questioning look.

  “I’m in the mood for something lighter tonight,” he explained. “Do you mind?”

  Laura shook her head. In truth, she was growing impatient with the mystery, waiting for something to happen. So far it was all buildup with no delivery.

  Isaiah cleared his throat and began to read. “Looking back on that evening, I can only wonder why I didn’t know the moment that I clapped eyes on her that she was the love of my life.” He coughed again and settled deeper into the beanbag. “When I opened the office door and saw her for the first time, I was instantly attracted to her. But I blamed it on mere physical attraction. She was just another pretty woman, I told myself. But then, slowly, as I came to know her as a person, I realized she was far more. She literally changed my life, at first only in little ways, but over time all the little things added up and became huge. Now I love her so much that I feel panicky at the thought of losing her. Even worse, I’m not sure how to tell her.”

  He paused to look over at her. Laura wiggled more deeply into the cushiony beanbag. “A romance?” She flashed him a pleased grin. “How nice.”

  He gave her a long, penetrating look. Then he cleared his throat again and resumed reading. “I thought I could content myself with simply being friends. Best friends, I guess you’d say. Only now I want and need more than that. I’m praying that she wants more, too.”