by Morgan Utley
“How are you doing, honey?” a voice said out of the blue.
Peyton inhaled sharply and covered her face with her blanket.
She heard someone get up and sit on the side of her bed. She knew that it was her mom, but it still freaked her out that her mom had been creeping around her room.
“Mom,” Peyton said underneath the blanket, “I just about peed my pants.”
“I’m not surprised,” she said from outside the blanket tent. “You’ve been asleep for a while. I’m guessing you’ve been holding it for a few too many hours.”
Peyton pulled the blanket down, so she was looking at her mom. She still had the same outfit on from this morning, except it was being covered by an apron, and instead of her hair being down and curled, it was clipped up.
“Why are you always right?” Peyton questioned and jumped off her bed to run to the bathroom. After she finished, she felt a whole lot better and returned to her room. Her mom was still sitting in the same spot. She sat by her mom and put her head on her shoulder.
“How are you doing?” she asked.
“I’ve been better,” Peyton tried to wipe her face from her dried up tears and wished she would have washed her face while she was in the bathroom.
“Well, you should know that your dad talked to your brother, and he feels very bad. He wants to apologize when you're ready to hear it, of course,” she said.
“Is he still here?” Peyton asked.
“No, he and Gloria left. Gloria needed to go home, but I think he’s going to come back for dinner,” her mom informed her.
“Mom, I cannot believe he just let all those words come out of his stupid mouth,” Peyton breathed and shook her head. “I mean, of all the insensitive, rude things he could have said. It’s one thing to talk about Derek like that in front of Noah, but then mock his death?” Peyton started to tear up talking about it.
“He should have never said those things. He was completely out of line. You are right,” her mom agreed.
“What did Noah say?” Peyton muttered.
“I don’t know. He went home. I don’t think your dad talked to him because he was wanting to kill your brother.”
“Completely understandable. I wanted to do that. I still do.”
“Why don’t you come downstairs? Dinner is almost done. We're having hamburgers,” her mom told her, and it got Peyton’s stomach growling. She realized she hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast.
“That sounds really good. Let’s go,” Peyton got up from her bed. “Mom? Why did he all the sudden say those things about Derek?” She swallowed hard and told herself she was not going to cry. “It was so out of the blue. I think I’ve made it pretty obvious that I don’t want to talk about Derek or anything from the past. It hurts too much.” She put her head down and could feel the tears start to flow down her cheeks. “I mean, I know I should be moving past it, but when he started talking about when Derek first dropped me off at home… All those memories just started flowing back. It was so overwhelming. Noah has got to think I’m a complete basket case. I’m sure he’s so confused.” At this point, Peyton was sobbing and could hardly breathe. Her mother stood up and pulled Peyton into a tight hug.
“Well, your brother has some news, and I think he was so excited that he just lost his head for a minute. And I think when he saw you get out of that car with Noah, he was so happy for you that he became ecstatic and ran his mouth. You know how he is when he gets excited. I’m not making excuses for him, but I’m just trying to help you understand,” her mom explained.
Peyton pulled away just enough, so she could look at her mom, “What news?” she asked, but all her mom did was smile and walk away.
“What news?” Peyton demanded, but her mom laughed and walked down the stairs, leaving Peyton to wonder what on earth her brother had gotten himself into now.
Chapter 9
Peyton walked down the stairs and found her mom stirring something in the kitchen, her dad sitting on the couch flipping through Netflix—typical—and her rotten brother sitting at the dinner table looking at his phone. She stopped on the last stair and leaned up against the wall and crossed her arms. Their dad was the first to look up and put his remote down. He stood up from the couch and crossed his arms, looking at Chris.
When Chris didn’t notice either of them for about a minute, their dad cleared his throat, which made Chris jump out of his seat. Apparently, he was still on edge from the talk they had earlier. He looked around and saw his dad first staring him down and then looked over and saw Peyton standing nonchalantly at the bottom of the stairs with a blank look on her face. Although, no matter how blank it was, she knew she couldn’t fool anyone. She was sure that her face was all red and puffy, with a few stray tears on her cheeks.
“Hi, Peyton, I’m very sorry about what I said. It was super insensitive of me, and I just got out of my head. Honestly, there was no excuse for it. I shouldn’t have ever brought up Derek or mentioned the accident. Really, Sis, I’m sorry,” he finished and looked at Peyton with a sad, guilty expression. It reminded her of when he used to get into her bathroom and play with her makeup. She would walk in there and see that he had drawn a mustache on his face with her eyeliner and a heart on his arm in lipstick. Oh, the pirate phase.
“It’s okay, Chris,” she muttered. She wanted to say more, but she didn’t want to make herself upset again, so she just left it at that.
“I hope I didn’t scare Noah away! I’m going to feel extremely bad if I did. If he doesn’t talk to you again, I’ll talk to him myself and apologize,” he offered. She could tell he was genuinely sorry for how he acted.
“It’s okay. If it scared him away, well, then it just wasn’t meant to be,” she said. Surprisingly, she truly believed it, no matter how sad it made her feel. Noah didn’t even know all her secrets, and if he couldn’t handle that, he wouldn’t be able to handle the rest of it.
“Well, I don’t think it scared him away,” her mom called from around the corner.
“Um, what do you mean, Mom?” Peyton asked tentatively.
“I invited him for dinner tomorrow, and he accepted,” she said in a matter-of-fact tone and walked around the corner, so she could see everyone.
“You did what?” Peyton shrieked.
“I couldn’t very well let him leave on that note. So, I invited him to dinner. Originally the offer was for tonight, but he said something about needing to get back to the office to close up and to make up for some studying. So, I offered tomorrow, and he accepted! Chris, make sure you and Gloria are here.” She pointed her finger at him and walked back to the kitchen.
“Is that the news?” Peyton demanded again.
“No!” Her mother called. “Chris, tell her. It’s the least you could do!”
“Oh yeah, the reason why I was here with Gloria earlier to begin with was to tell you guys that we’re engaged!” he exclaimed and shot his hands into the air.
“Wow! Chris, that's amazing. Congratulations!” She walked over and gave him a hug.
“I really am sorry, Peyton,” he whispered in her ear.
“I know. It's okay,” she whispered back.
As she was hugging her brother, she started processing that Noah was coming for dinner the next day and realized something.
“Hold on!” She pulled away from her brother and walked into the kitchen to find her mother. “I thought you said that he had left after I walked inside the house with Dad,” she gestured toward her father, who was now flipping through channels, standing up, and completely zoned out.
“Well,” her mother answered, still mixing the dinner, “I pulled up to the driveway, and he was sitting on the edge of his car talking to your father. Apparently, he was waiting out there to make sure you were alright after seeing you so upset. After your dad talked to your brother, he noticed Noah sitting on the hood of his car and went out there to talk to him. I got out of the car, and after getting a quick rundown of the recent events, I invited him to dinner. Re
ally, Peyton, it was no big deal. After we talked, he left and that was that,” she finished and returned to making dinner.
“You lied to me!” Peyton said, completely baffled by what her mother had done.
“Yeah, I did. But I didn’t want to tell you while you were still upset. I was going to tell you, so, actually, it was a temporary lie,” she tried to explain to her, but it didn’t ease Peyton’s mind. “Who’s ready to eat?” she called out, and everyone gravitated to the kitchen to get ready to eat.
“What am I supposed to do when he comes, Mom?” Peyton asked as she picked up a plate. “Thanks to Chris, no offense, Chris,” she looked at Chris, and he held up his hands.
“None taken. I did it,” he admitted and grabbed himself a plate.
“He opened up a whole can of worms in front of Noah, and I don’t even know where to begin to explain.” Peyton finished her thought and scooped up some rice and chicken onto her plate.
“You know what you need to do, honey?” her dad said, scooping up his own plate of food, “Pray about it. Tell Him everything, and you’ll know what to say tomorrow.”
“Okay, Dad,” Peyton said sarcastically and made her way to the kitchen table.
Her mom, dad, and Chris followed Peyton, and this time her mom spoke, “Your dad is right, Peyton. Pray about it. He’ll help you say just what you need to tomorrow.”
Peyton nodded her head and started eating her dinner. Ever since Derek died, she hadn’t prayed very often because part of her was angry with Heavenly Father for taking Derek away even though deep down she knew everything happened for a reason. She knew, though, what her parents said was true, and that she needed to pray every moment she could get.
“What did you tell him, Dad?” Peyton asked after she had finished all the food on her plate. She really was hungry.
“I just told him that you and your husband were in a car crash about a year ago. You were fortunate enough to walk away from it, but Derek was not.” He shrugged his shoulders. “If I hadn’t, the poor guy really would have been confused. Sorry, hun,” he explained.
“It’s fine. He was bound to find out eventually. Not how I wanted him to find out,” she said pointedly to Chris, “but yet, here we are.” She leaned back in her chair and folded her hands in her lap.
“Again, sorry!” Chris said sounding more exasperated than apologetic. He stood up to clear his plate and kissed his mother on the cheek. “Thanks, Mom, for dinner. I gotta go. Gloria and I are face-timing her parents to tell them the news.”
“Hey, congrats again, little brother. I want to hear more details tomorrow,” she stood up to give him a hug and clear her plate as well.
“Will do. See you guys later. Bye, Dad,” he waved and walked out the front door.
“Well, that was fun. Not exactly how I envisioned this day going,” her mother cleared the table.
“You can say that again,” Peyton muttered and helped her mom clean the dishes.
“What are you going to tell Noah, Sis?” her mom asked.
“I don’t know. I honestly don’t want to talk about it at all. I was planning on just telling him little bits slowly. Now, I feel like that plan is out the window.”
“Just be honest with him. You don’t necessarily need to share everything, but be honest. If you are truly interested in this guy, he deserves to know everything upfront. Wouldn’t you want the same treatment?”
“Yeah. But Mom, it's not like we’re dating or anything. It’s just been a meet and greet at the mall, a run last week, and he drove me home once. This is all being blown out of proportion!” She threw her hands up into the air. “I feel like now I’m having to do things or say things that I feel like I shouldn’t even have to do because nothing has actually happened! What if he’s just trying to be friendly? You know, make a new friend. It’s not like we’ve been on an actual date, and that there are any feelings there,” Peyton protested. She realized she had raised her voice and felt bad, but her parents didn’t seem phased.
“I understand why you're frustrated. I understand where you're coming from, but I think now more than ever he deserves a couple of answers. Maybe not all the answers, just enough to give him a little clarity.”
“Fine,” she conceded and started drying dishes.
“You are absolutely insane if you think there aren’t any feelings there,” her mother stated.
“What?” she questioned.
“Each time you’ve been with that boy, he’s put himself out there, wanting to see you. Not to mention, after the thing with Chris, he stayed behind to see how you were doing. What baffles me is that you still don’t think he has any feelings for you,” her mom persisted.
“How could he?” Peyton barked, now feeling more frustrated. “I’m tainted! I’m an old widow. Why would he want something that’s already been used once?”
“Peyton, you are not an old widow, and you're definitely not tainted. He obviously just likes you for you, sweetheart, and that’s all that matters. Isn’t that what you want?” her mom countered.
“Well, yeah,” Peyton conceded.
“Then please, just be nice and let things run their course,” she pleaded and finished drying the dishes.
Peyton wanted to keep arguing. She thought her mom was being absolutely ridiculous and trying to push this thing between her and Noah. She also didn’t believe her mom about Noah even liking her. Sure, he’d been nice and friendly to her, but she didn’t have any other reason to believe he might actually like her. Even though deep down, she hoped he did.
Chapter 10
That night, before Peyton went to sleep, she grabbed her phone to set her alarm and realized she hadn’t looked at her phone since calling her mom earlier that day. She unlocked her phone and noticed she had a text that had been unopened.
It said that it was from Noah.
It read, “Hey, I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”
Peyton thought it was so nice that he had made the effort to text her and check on her.
She responded back to his text, “Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks for asking.”
She set her alarm and put her phone on her nightstand. When she started to get comfortable, her phone buzzed. It was another message from Noah.
“Good. Your mom invited me for dinner tomorrow, and I told her I would come. I hope that’s okay.”
She appreciated him checking with her and thought it was very considerate and texted back, “My mom told me she invited you. It’s all good with me!” Peyton felt a little bad because, at first, she really wasn’t okay with it. However, now she was really looking forward to seeing him tomorrow.
She stared at the blank screen on her phone wondering whether or not to put her phone back on the nightstand, but then her phone lit back up, “Awesome. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow!”
Peyton smiled and replied, “See you tomorrow!” She put her phone back on her nightstand, got into her comfortable sleeping position, and went to sleep with a smile on her face.
Peyton ended up having a couple of nightmares during the night. One of them consisted of her walking downstairs for dinner to meet Noah when she realized she was only in her underwear. The other dream was Peyton walking down to the dining room and seeing not only Noah but Derek as well. When she sat down at the dinner table, Derek would constantly ask her, “Why?” or “Did you forget about me already?”
She woke up crying, and her mother came into her room and hugged her while she cried. “Well, you woke up a lot later than usual,” her mom pointed out.
“What time is it?” Peyton whimpered.
It’s seven. You made it through the whole night. Well, kinda. But still, I’m impressed,” she said scratching Peyton’s back.
“Thanks, Mom, but I gotta tell ya,” Peyton sniffed and continued, “I’m so tired of these nightmares.”
“I know, sweetheart. I have a feeling though that they’re going to start getting better.”
“You think so?”
“Yes,” her m
om smiled, “I do.” Her mom kissed her forehead and left her room.
Peyton couldn’t justify going back to sleep, so she got up and went running. She figured if anything could make her feel better, it would be that instead of risking another nightmare. She ended up running seven miles instead of her usual five. Her legs didn’t feel as tired, probably because of her long nap yesterday, so she pushed out a couple more miles.
During her run, she thought of her nightmares. She worried about her dinner with Noah and how that was going to go. Especially with her brother and his new fiancé coming tonight as well. She knew that Chris was sorry and felt really bad for running his mouth, but she couldn’t help feeling a little worried about it. Hopefully, everyone would just focus on Chris and Gloria’s recent engagement. Her last nightmare bothered her the most. Part of her felt like she had no place talking to another man. She felt lucky enough to have met her sweetheart in high school and get married to the love of her life. Was it truly possible to fall in love again? Was she being fair to Noah? There she went again jumping to conclusions. She’d only seen this guy a handful of times, and love wasn’t even on the radar. Was he handsome? Most definitely. Was he as sweet as honey? Oh, yeah. Thoughtful and considerate? Check and check. Did she think she could fall in love again? Peyton didn’t know the answer to that question. She was going to take her mom’s advice though and just be nice. Not try and force anything or read more into anything. She was reminded of the first time she had met Derek during her junior year of high school...
Derek was new in school, and she had noticed him from a distance in the hallways but didn’t make an effort to talk to him. She was super shy, and so was he, but he was also adorable, which made it hard for her to approach him. She still remembered what he was wearing that day. He wore light-colored jeans that had oil stains splattered all over them with a dark blue zip-up jacket. His hair was messy like he had just woken up, and his eyes looked tired.