by Morgan Utley
“That is a big cow,” Noah stated.
Peyton laughed, “You know she can hear you, right?”
“I’m just saying that it's obvious she’s carrying a calf in there,” Noah chuckled and watched Peyton as she checked out Betsy.
“Oh boy, it looks like she’s freshening,” Peyton noticed. “And she’s discharging cervical mucus. You're about to be a mama, Betsy!”
Noah cleared his throat, “I’m sorry, but what does freshening mean?”
Peyton snorted, “I’m sorry. It just means that her milk supply is coming in, and she’s lactating. She’s probably very uncomfortable.”
“It’s moments like these when I’m glad to be a guy,” he admitted.
“That’s not the first time I’ve heard that. I am quite grateful that I am not a guy,” Peyton informed him and picked up the bucket of water and headed to the hose.
Noah followed behind her, “So am I.” He smiled his crooked smile, and Peyton blushed.
She emptied the old water and refilled it with fresh water for the mama cow. She took the bucket back to Betsy’s stall and locked it back up. “Is there anything else you want to see?” she asked Noah, who was quiet while she helped out Betsy.
“No, I think I’ve seen it all,” he said sarcastically, and Peyton busted up in laughter.
“Yeah, you definitely got the behind-the-scenes tour,” she giggled, and Noah joined in. He grabbed her hand again, and they walked back toward the house.
Peyton finally decided to be brave and tell Noah about Derek. He earned it after seeing mucus draining from the backside of a cow.
“Derek was my high school sweetheart, you could say. He moved to my high school our junior year, and we were together every day from day one. After high school, we dated for another year, and shortly after that, he proposed, and we got married. We were married for four years. Last year we were driving back from my doctor’s appointment. I was six months pregnant at the time,” Peyton stopped, trying to choke back tears, and Noah squeezed her hand in comfort.
“It was raining very hard,” she continued, “and Derek had a green light through an intersection. But a guy in a truck wasn’t paying attention and T-boned our car on the driver’s side, where Derek was.” Peyton had tears running down her face and was trying to keep it together as best as she could, but she could feel herself start to lose it.
She had stopped walking, and Noah was staring at her with a concerned look on his face, but she kept going, “The driver was drunk, and Derek was killed instantly. I woke up in a hospital bed only to find out that my husband was dead, and I had lost the baby.” Peyton let loose and cried. Noah pulled her in again and held her tightly.
She had never recounted the events of Derek’s death before, and it felt as if she was reliving it all over again. Also, she had never told anyone outside of family about her losing a baby in the accident. She felt heartbroken all over again, but at the same time, she had this huge weight lifted off her shoulders. She assumed she was feeling some type of closure. She felt so embarrassed for crying the way she was in front of Noah. She was not one for showing her emotions to others, and she could only imagine what he was feeling. She figured he wanted to run the other way and say “forget this broad.” Instead, he embraced her affectionately and let her cry all over his jacket.
“Peyton,” he whispered, “I am so sorry. I can’t even imagine the heartbreak you must be feeling.”
Peyton took a few deep breaths and willed herself to get her emotions under control. Noah must have noticed she was trying to calm herself down because he started to stroke the back of her head. Then she felt him press his mouth against her head. Did he just kiss the top of her head?
That seemed to snap Peyton out of it, and she wiped her face. “Ugh, I’m sorry, Noah. I promise I don’t usually do that. I’ve just never ever told anyone that before. And it felt like I was just reliving it all over again, and now I feel like I’m remembering all these little details like our conversation before the crash and brief memories of being in the ambulance and the nurse’s names in the hospital.” She put her head in her hands and held herself there for a minute to try and shake it off. “I promise I’m usually much more composed than this.”
“Don’t even worry about it. It’s natural for you to feel this way. You lost so much,” he said. “I’m sure you miss him.”
Peyton shrugged her shoulders. “I think I’ll always miss him. But I think I’ve finally come to a point where I need to start living life again. My mom told me that there’s a time to mourn, and then there’s a time to start forgiving and move on. Within the last couple of weeks, I’ve really felt that it's time for me to start moving forward and start living life again. Every time I pray, I get the feeling that I need to forgive and realize that Derek would want me happy and not spend my days on this earth so unhappy. But to take advantage of being alive. It was a miracle I even survived that accident.”
“I’m sure he would be proud of you. For what it's worth, I think you're doing an amazing job. Is that why you go see my uncle?” Peyton knew this question was going to come up.
“Yep,” she nodded her head, “I was prescribed therapy to try and work out how I was feeling and help me move past all this. I especially struggled in the beginning. My mom always drops me off because before I really put up a fight to go. Now, it's just become a habit for her to take me to my appointments.”
“Ah, that all makes sense now,” Noah replied.
“I thought you would have already known that by looking at my chart when I would check-in,” Peyton questioned.
“I try not to look at them. Plus, once you caught my eye, I didn’t want to look at your chart. I wanted you to be the one to tell me why you were in therapy, rather than read the opinions of others on your chart. Plus, that stuff is private. I don’t read it unless I need to,” Noah explained, and Peyton shook her head.
“You truly are amazing,” she whispered.
Noah chuckled, “I could say the same about you. Should we go back to the house? I bet your mom is ready to serve dessert.”
“Yeah, we should,” Peyton agreed.
“Hey,” Noah said and took her hands in his, “thank you for sharing with me tonight. I really appreciate it. I know it wasn’t easy for you, but it helps me understand more what you’ve been through and where you’re at.”
“You’re welcome,” she said and they walked hand in hand back to the house.
Chapter 12
They walked into the house, and everyone was waiting for them to have dessert. While they were gone, it seemed as though everything had calmed down between Chris and her mom. Chris was back to his usual sarcastic self, Gloria didn’t look as worried, and her mom had her company smile back on her face. They all sat in the living room to enjoy their cobbler, and everyone had their own side conversations. Peyton’s dad was talking to Noah about some tooth pain he was having while Chris, Gloria, and her mom were talking about wedding plans. Peyton sat back, listened, and enjoyed her cobbler, lost in her thoughts.
She couldn’t believe that she had opened up to Noah the way she had. She also couldn’t believe how he had opened to her about his feelings. She didn’t know what to do with herself, or how to act. The only person she had ever dated was Derek, and everything was so easy with him. With Noah, as she had gone through so much, she was trying to figure out how to open herself back up and believe that she deserved a second chance at love.
After Noah left, she helped her mom clean the kitchen, informed her dad about Betsy, and then walked upstairs to her room. Shortly after she put her pajamas on, there was a knock on her door.
“Come in!” Peyton called.
The door opened, and her mom walked through. “Hey, sweetheart. How are you doing?” she asked.
“Oh, you know, as good as ever,” Peyton replied sarcastically.
“What happened on your walk? Your face looked all blotchy. Had you been crying?” her mom didn’t miss a beat.
“
Yeah. I told Noah about Derek and the accident. And about me being pregnant and losing the baby,” she explained.
“Wow!” Her mom looked shocked yet eager at the same time. “How did he take it? What did he say?”
Peyton shrugged her shoulders, “What could he say? He said he was sorry, and he let me cry all over his jacket. It was completely embarrassing, but he didn’t seem phased at all. He took it very well, I think. I just didn’t explain it very well between my blubbering.”
“Well, it seemed like he understood, and he stuck around for a while and let your dad talk his ear off. He must like you, Peyton.” She smirked and looked as if she were jumping up and down on the inside.
“Yeah, I know. He told me,” Peyton admitted.
“He did!” her mom shrieked. “Oh my goodness, this is so exciting! What did you say? How did he say it?”
“He said that he would much rather be with me than study all the time, and I told him that I liked him too.”
Her mom started clapping her hands and laughed. “Peyton! I’m so excited for you! Are you happy? He is such a nice guy and patient and, he even stuck around when your brother decided to drop the ball of a June wedding.”
“By the way,” Peyton wondered, “how did that go? Did you forgive them?”
Her mom rolled her eyes. “Hardly. The boy is forever going to cause me trouble,” she huffed. “They explained to me that it was the best time for Gloria’s family to come, and that their family was willing to help with whatever we needed. Quite frankly, all I need is for them to send a check, and then I can take it from there. I don’t think they have any idea how long it takes to plan a wedding. All the things we have to order like flowers, dresses, picking a cake, booking a venue… Speaking of, do you remember when Derek’s mom ordered those ugly pink carnations? And the bowties? When I found out she actually ordered them, I had a heart attack. It’s not like anyone was dying that day. Carnations only belong in funerals!”
Peyton chuckled, thinking that she had just explained this to Chris and Gloria earlier. “Yeah, thank heaven we were able to cancel the order in time. She looked so caught off guard when I told her I hated carnations, and that we were going to go with neckties instead. Anyways, I’m glad they finally explained to you the situation and brought you in the loop.”
Her mom smiled, “You know, Chris told me you opened up to them. And told them to open up to us and said that communication was the best thing they could do to make this wedding planning go as smoothly as it can.”
Peyton waved her hand, “I may have said something. It was no big deal. I just wanted to make sure you're treated fairly, and that this experience is as much fun and great for you as it is for them.”
Her mom hugged her. “Thank you so much,” she whispered in Peyton’s ear and kissed her on the cheek. She stood up from the bed and smiled at her. “You know, you had a pretty amazing wedding yourself.”
“Yeah, it was the perfect day,” Peyton nodded. “Thanks to you.”
“I do have good taste,” her mom confirmed and laughed. “I already have ideas for your next wedding,” she winked and walked out of Peyton’s room.
Peyton’s jaw dropped. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” she sputtered.
She heard her mom laugh down the hall and go into her own room. Peyton chuckled to herself and shook her head in disbelief.
She laid down in her bed thinking about what her next wedding would be like and what she would do differently and who she thought might be at the end of the aisle. She fell asleep smiling, imagining Noah in a suit and her walking toward him in a big fluffy white dress.
The next day, Peyton was sitting on the couch reading a book when her mom came down the stairs. “Hey, Peyton, do you want to go to the grocery store with me? I need to get a couple of things for several dinners, and I don’t want to end up having to go on Monday. Plus, I need to make sure I have everything we need for tomorrow. Just brace yourself, though, because you know going to the store on a Saturday guarantees it’s going to be busy and the cashier lines will be ridiculously long.”
“Mom, what if we run into one of your friends? Then we’re going to end up being there even longer,” Peyton queried.
“I promise if we run into someone, I’ll make it short and try to hide you as best as I can, so they don’t bombard you with questions. And then we will run away as fast as we can!” she teased.
“You're hilarious,” Peyton quipped. “Fine. I’ll go with you.”
“Thank you, I appreciate it. I know it's such a huge inconvenience,” she said sarcastically, and Peyton rolled her eyes. “I can’t seem to get your dad to come with me anymore. Do you have any ideas for dinner tonight and tomorrow?”
“Well, Mom, I don’t really blame him. And I don’t know. Meatballs sound good. I’m going on that date tonight with Noah though, remember?” Peyton reminded her.
“That’s right! I’m so excited for you, Peyton. You're going to have a blast,” she squealed and grabbed her purse.
“Yeah, it will be fun, I think. Plus, you know how much I love free food,” Peyton teased and got up from the couch and stretched her arms. “Do you think I should bring my book just in case you see one of your girlfriends?”
Her mom narrowed her eyes at Peyton, “I’ll throw that book away,” she threatened. Peyton just laughed and tossed the book onto the couch then followed her mom out the door and to the car.
During the drive, all her mom wanted to talk about was Chris and Gloria’s wedding. She was still ranting about how they hadn’t told her about the date, and evidently, Chris had asked if some of Gloria’s family could stay at their house. There were a couple of extra bedrooms in the house, and Gloria had aunts and uncles who wanted to come to the wedding too. Her mom never liked being put on the spot when asked questions like that in front of people. It never ended well. There were many times while she and Chris were growing up that they tried to ask their mom to have friends over while they were on the phone with the friend. She would make them hang up the phone and then ask her the question because she felt uncomfortable and upset. Then Gloria had told her mom that she wanted the colors red and green, but her mom thought that was ridiculous because those were Christmas colors. The whole drive she ranted about it, and all Peyton had to do was nod her head and say “mm-hmm.”
When her mom parked the car in front of the grocery store, she handed Peyton the list.
“Don’t let me forget anything! I’m telling you if I have to come back here on Monday, I’m dragging you back here with me!” she reiterated and opened the car door. Peyton followed behind her and read the list.
“Um, Mom, did you write the list?” Peyton asked.
“Yes, I did. Why?”
“So, you want Oreos, ice cream, bbq chips, and root beer?” Peyton read.
Her mom took the list back and read it. “Your father! If he thinks I’m going to get him all that junk, he’s crazy. He doesn’t need it. I swear that man is going to end up with diabetes!” She thrust the list back at Peyton, and Peyton laughed.
“I don’t know, all those things sound good to me,” she snickered. “I think he has good taste.”
“You are your father’s daughter,” her mom verified as she walked into the store and pointed to the shopping carts. “You get to drive,” she informed her and started walking toward the aisles.
Peyton rolled her eyes. “Figures,” she muttered.
“I heard that!” her mom called and turned around to smirk at her.
“There’s no way!” Peyton challenged, but if she was being honest, her mom probably did in fact hear her. She had insanely good hearing.
Peyton followed her mom up and down every aisle, slowly checking each item off the list. There were multiple times where they forgot an item and had to go back down an aisle they had already been to. Just as Peyton suspected, her mom grabbed the items her dad had written on her list.
As Peyton and her mom were waiting in line for the cashier, Peyton looked around th
e store, and out of the corner of her eye saw a familiar face coming down the cereal aisle. It was Noah. With another girl. A blonde one, in fact, with beautiful bouncing curls and make-up perfectly done. They were both laughing at something, who knows what, and she kept affectionately touching his arm.
Peyton felt her heart hit the floor, and she inhaled sharply. She turned around quickly and lifted her hood to hide her face.
“What on earth are you doing?” her mom inquired.
“Mom, I beg of you. Give me the keys, so I can go to the car,” Peyton pleaded.
“What? No. We are almost done,” her mom said and started putting groceries on the belt.
Peyton turned her head around slowly and saw that Noah and the blonde were heading in their direction.
“Mom, I promise if you forget something today, I will come to the store myself and get it, so you don’t have to come. But please, let me go to the car. Please!” Peyton urged.
“Not until you tell me why!” she demanded and folded her arms.
Peyton grabbed her arm and turned her so that her back was facing the happy couple.
“Don’t look now. But Noah is behind us and has a bubbly blonde hanging on his arm. They look very cozy and friendly, and I don’t want him to see me. That would be so awkward and embarrassing, so please, let me run while I still can. And if he sees you, don’t tell him I was here!” Peyton whispered. Her mom slowly turned around to look and spun back around quickly.
“Oh, my word! I can’t believe it!” She put her hands in her purse and handed Peyton the keys.
Without hesitation, Peyton took the keys. “Thank you!” she hissed and strode off to the car without looking back.
About ten minutes later, she saw her mom walking toward the car with her cart full of groceries. Her brow was furrowed and her eyes looked distant, and Peyton could tell she was deep in thought. Peyton jumped out of the car and met her mom at the back to quickly load the bags of groceries and put the cart away. By the time she got back, her mom was already in the driver’s seat ready to drive. As soon as she was in the car and buckled up, her mom drove away with the best timing because not a minute later. Noah and the bubbly blonde walked into the parking lot. She had her arm wrapped around his arm while he was pushing the cart to his car.