by Elina Vale
“I think it’s more likely that devastation will occur if I keep pursuing magic,” Shri scoffed. “Probably to the Octopus and everyone in it.”
“That’s fear talking. Self-doubt.”
“I should have just stayed in the Pit and ignored the fact that magic even exists,” Shri said. “Ask any of the instructors. They’ll agree!”
“I don’t believe you could have ignored it,” Eavan said. “Even if you had stayed in the Pit as a coal-girl, or done the remedies with the woman who guided you, the magic would have come out, just like it did during the Gate Run. Eventually, you would have felt the need to find the pulsing, vibrating power that was crying to be released.”
“Then why do I keep failing?” Shri snapped, her frustration pouring out in a flood. “If I’m some great source of power, why can’t even cast the simplest cantrip when some of the idiots surpassing me can’t even figure out how to put on their robes?”
“Because you’re afraid of it, Shri. Believe me, I understand! I know what you went through, and I’ve been through it too. But we’re here to guide you. If you would just let go, we could help you command it.”
“Harnan believes you’re wrong about me." Shri fingered the belt circling her waist. “He thinks I should be sent away.”
“Harnan hasn’t seen what I’ve seen.” Softening her expression, Eavan considered her argument. “Did you know that I was trained alongside Doria Tamarian?”
“So?”
“Let me tell you something about her,” Eavan said. “Doria has always been cold and power-hungry, that same fearsome woman who attacked you. She’s also always been very, very powerful. She was at the top of our class, Shri.” Leaning forward, she placed her hands on the arms of Shri’s chair. “She was stronger than me. The trainers were afraid of her. Her fountain was as endless as her ambition. I defeated her once in a duel, once, and it was because I outsmarted her. Later, she was banned from dueling because she killed two classmates. And she didn’t care.”
“Yeah, sounds like the witch I encountered.”
“Both of those students commanded two elements, and she beat them because her focus on the Earth element was so powerful, so obsessive, that she had learned to do anything with it,” Eavan said. “Because she studied and practiced, because she learned things that the teachers weren’t telling us, she became unbeatable. Some of the senatai wanted to imprison her, to shackle her somewhere without her magic...but Aldemar Krun was calling the shots, and he loved her for her ruthlessness and raw prowess. He passed her through her tests and took her under his wing.”
“I get it, Eavan,” Shri sighed. “If I study and practice and work hard, someday I can be powerful, too.”
“No,” Eavan said, “that’s not my message. My message is this: you went up against one of the most powerful senatai of our time, and you lived.”
Shri stared back at her.
“Untrained, inexperienced,” Eavan said. “Inside the Spike, within the Gates, you held off Doria Tamarian when she was intent on killing you.” Taking her hand, Eavan declared, “Shri... you should be dead.”
Again, Shri lowered her head. “I don’t know how I did it.”
“You went up against Aldemar Krun when he was powered by the Black Star, and you turned his own magic against him,” Eavan continued. “You shouldn’t be here anymore, Shri. But you are. Obviously, you were aided by the element of surprise, because no one expected your power. But you’re also here because you tapped into something very deep, and somehow, you did manage to control it, even just for a minute at a time. And believe what you want, but I think you’re still here because you’re meant to be.”
Shri shook her head. “But... But I burned myself out! You said it yourself, it wasn’t safe to tap into all that magic without training!”
“I can see the magic still within you!” Eavan responded. “You didn’t burn it out. But I also see the damage, the trauma you suffered in the wake of that contact. What the magic did to your untrained soul. The walls you have built are as high and impenetrable as the walls of Ironflare. You have to knock them down to succeed.”
“I know,” Shri whispered, feeling the disappointment weighing on her. “But what if I can’t? What if I can’t control it, and I end up doing something horrible? What if I fail? What if I hurt someone?"
“What if.” Eavan's expression darkened. “That’s exactly why you must learn to control it.”
Shri closed her eyes. “When I get close to touching it, I remember everything that happened, and I back down.”
“It’s good that you remember. Because if you don’t remember what dark magic feels like, it may lure you in, and with talents like yours, it could destroy you and everyone around you.”
The door opened, and Boa stepped in. Eavan frowned at the interruption, but Boa gave his usual shrug. “Eavan,” he greeted. “Shri.”
“Boa, this isn’t a good time,” Eavan said.
“Oh, I think it’s the perfect time,” Boa said. “Time for Shri to come with me.”
Eavan crossed her arms under her breasts. Her glare frightened Shri, but it bounced harmlessly off of Boa “Oh, do you?”
“Yes. She needs a break from magic.”
“There’s no time for a break.” Eavan lowered her voice. “You know what’s at stake here.”
“I do,” Boa said, “and I also know that the senatai, despite what they want the world to believe, don’t know everything. I’ve spoken with Harnan, and I know what to do.”
“Do tell.”
“Shri,” he said, kneeling before her. “How would you like to train with my drokashai students?”
“Really?” Shri glanced at Eavan. “I think I would enjoy that, actually.”
“You’re not feeling too good about magic right now, are you?”
“No, not at all.”
Eavan gasped. “Boa!”
“She’s out of her comfort zone, Eavan!” Boa argued. “You know, a person can only fail so many times before losing confidence. Shri, you spent your whole life training to jump, kick, and swing a blade. And you’re damned good at it, aren’t you?”
“Well...” She shrugged. “Yes, I am. That’s how I survived most of the Gate Run.”
“Let’s get you to work, then,” he nodded. “Maybe after you pass some drills and get back to doing what you’re good at, you’ll feel better about tackling magic again.”
“Yes,” she said, “I think maybe I will.”
“Boa,” Eavan said. “You’re only distracting her from what she needs to be doing!”
“No,” he said. “I’m going to help her find her focus again. Isn’t it possible that maybe you just threw her into this too damn quickly? That you and Harnan put expectations on her that are just too high for a novice?”
“There’s a reason for that!”
“Eavan,” Shri said. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I do have some great destiny as a powerful magic user. But... I’m just not ready for it yet. Right now, I’m in a strange place, I’m surrounded by people who want me to do things I can barely understand, and I don’t even know who I am anymore. But I know swordplay. I know acrobatics. Can’t I please go with Boa? I need to center myself.”
“Think about it, Eavan,” Boa said. “You can’t defy destiny. But you can’t rush it, either.”
Clutching her hair, Eavan turned away and pounded her desktop. “Damn it, you’re right. But we don’t have time for...”
“I’ll return her to you in one week.” Boa walked to the door and opened it, gesturing for Shri to follow him.
Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Eavan’s discontented face staring back.
They stepped into the wide corridors. Sunbeams scattered across the floor through the windows, creating a path of spotted light. The arching windows, the white walls, and the glow of daylight made it a peaceful spot. It was quiet, with only a couple of trainees doing their chores in the corridors.
Shri glanced at Boa. “Are you in trouble?”
Shri avoided his eyes, staring at her shoes instead. “Splendid.”
“Good. I’m going to make you sweat so hard you won’t even remember the Gate Run.”
“Thanks,” she said. “I can handle that. I think I really need it.”
“You’re not going to thank me after the week is over,” Boa warned, leading Shri out of the building.
They walked across the yard, arriving soon at the training hall. It was a huge building with an arena divided into several slots. The slots were marked off by simple ribbons, designating spaces large enough to fit two people at once. On the sides of the hall were benches, tables, and racks full of different kinds of weapons, shields, and armors. Several young, broad-shouldered men were training here, along with at least one woman. When Boa and Shri entered, the trainees shot a range of curious looks at Shri. She bit her lip. In actuality, newcomers were nothing special; once in a while, a senatai trainee would burn himself out, or simply fail in magic. When that happened, they were offered the opportunity to train as a drokashai. Shri hadn’t failed; she couldn’t draw from the fountain, but...
Shri was greeted by a young man with sand-brown hair floating onto his shoulders, and the bluest eyes she had ever seen. “Hey,” he said. “I’m Brondo.”
“I’m Shri.”
He smirked and nodded. “I know.”
“You do?”
“Everyone knows you, Shri. You survived the Gate Run!” Leaning in, he glanced around the courtyard and whispered, “Tell me, how did you do it? Did you cheat?”
“No, I didn’t cheat,” Shri mumbled.
“What, then?”
“I don’t want to discuss it. I’m here to forget the Gate Run.”
“Brondo, let her be,” Boa said, grabbing a small blade for Shri from the weapon rack. “She’s only here because she needs a break from her senatai training. Until she moves on, you’re to treat her as you would any of your colleagues!”
“Naturally,” Brondo said with a wink. “Oh, she’ll be like one of the boys. Only a prettier one.”
“Brondo...” Boa said with a warning tone.
Brondo lifted his hand as a sign of understanding, but he continued to grin irreverently. “Just sayin’, she’s a bit tiny for a training partner. I wouldn’t want to, you know, break her or anything.”
Boa offered the blade to Shri. “What say you, Shri? Is Brondo too big for you to train with?”
“I don’t think so,” Shri said, taking the training blade from Boa. She balanced it in her hand to get the feel of it. The weight of it felt good. “Size isn’t important to me.”
“Ah,” Brondo smirked. “A virgin, then.”
Grimacing, Shri whipped the blade in an arc toward Brondo. Surprised, he lifted his own sword to block it.
“Not bad,” he said. “Still, if you would try me, you would realize size does matter.” His words broke a laughter around them, as the other students had gathered around to watch. “You sure you’re ready for this?”
“You better watch your words, Brondo.” Shri tossed her senatai robe aside. She had on her leather trousers and a white long-sleeved shirt. She rolled the sleeves, revealing the scars she had suffered inside the Gates. “Because however I managed it, I did survive the Gate Run, and I doubt anything you can throw at me will match that challenge.”
Brondo raised his eyebrows, glancing at Boa, and that’s when Shri stabbing forward with her blade. Brondo barely warded it and stumbled backwards. “Hey! I wasn’t ready!”
Boa turned his back to them. “Try not to make too many enemies, Shri. And please, don’t kill anyone else.”
“Wait,” Brondo said. “W-What do you mean?”
“I have things to do,” Boa called back. “Behave yourselves.”
With those words, he exited the room. Shri focused on her opponent and made a quick roll on the ground when he attacked her. She felt the adrenaline, the blood rush, the heartbeat. But it didn’t cause panic in her. Only pure joy. Baring her teeth in a vicious grin, she attacked.
After several hours of heavy training, they left the courtyard. Shri was exhausted and sweaty, but happier than she had been in weeks. The drokashai trainees had accepted her as one of them. She had proven to them that she was a good fighter. She could handle defeat, and some teasing. She had loved every moment of it.
Taking a detour back to Octopus, Shri walked the forest path. She expected to be alone out in the wilderness, until she spotted something moving out of the corner of her eye.
It was Teron, sneaking into the forest near Forbidden Bay. Just like last time, he was doing something secretive and forbidden, and Shri wanted to find out what he was up to. Shadowing him along the trail, she stayed far enough to remain hidden. Between her black robe and the shade of the trees, Teron didn’t notice her, even if he looked over his shoulder several times.
After a while, he arrived at the Bay. Shri found a bush near the tree line and knelt behind it. She grimaced when she laid her weight on her thigh—it would surely ache even more in the morning. Boa hadn’t been joking when he had spoken about heavy training.
Teron reached the water and sat on the sand, where he took a book from under his robe and began to read. Shri studied him. He was calm and content.
He only came here to read?
A sudden movement disturbed the calm water, and a figure surfaced. Teron put down his book and knelt as close to the water as he could. He whispered something. Shri saw a hand rising from the waves. Looking closer, she realized that there was, in fact, someone in the water. Who would swim at this time of the year, when the water was freezing? Then, she saw the color of the swimmer’s hair.
Green.
It was a mermaid.
All the stories her father had told her, all the songs. They were true.
In her attempt to get a closer look, she stumbled on a twig. The sound alerted the creature, and it vanished under the surface with a tiny splash. The water became still, like nothing had been there.
Now that Shri’s presence had been revealed, she stood up, brushed the dirt away from her trousers, and approached Teron. He was still on his knees, staring at the water, his shoulders slumping. When he noticed Shri, he stumbled up and grabbed his notebook.
She stopped beside him, looking at the sea. It was calm. A few clouds reflected from its mirror-like surface, giving it a serene appearance, until a tiny whisk of wind broke the image.
“They aren’t really monsters, you know,” Teron sighed. He sat down again and tossed a small pebble into the water. It created a ripple of circles on the still surface. “That’s why this is called the Forbidden Bay, you know. Because of them.”
Shri followed his gaze deeper into the water, where two tails splashed near the distant rocks.
“The mermaids,” Shri whispered. “Can you talk to them?”
“They cannot speak, at least not the way we humans do. They communicate by putting images into your mind. Some books call it telepathy, but... the images are hard to read. They are either so vibrant or so dark that it’s impossible for most humans to comprehend them. There are only a few people who have been able to communicate with them in known history. I think they’re misunderstood.”
“Aren’t you afraid they’ll enchant you and draw you underwater? I thought they were known for entrancing men.”
Teron showed her a talisman on his neck, round and carved with ancient runes. “This keeps me safe. It’s called a swimmer’s rock. It makes me immune to their chants and toxins.
Before Shri could look closer at the pendant, he tucked it into his robe. “But they’re not monsters. Neneia tries to talk to me, and I have nearly—"
“Neneia?” Shri raised her eyebrows.
Teron blushed. “I named her. It’s easier to talk to her.”
“But I thought it didn’t understand you?”
“She does... on some leve
l. I’m sure she does. Look at them,” he said, pointing at the water.
Shri turned to look. Two mermaids were watching her, just ten feet from the shore. The creatures stared quietly, only their heads on the surface. Both had light green hair, which floated around them like seaweed. Their eyes were wild, slanting, and wide, with immense black irises. Pointy ears poked out between the wet strands of hair.
“They are an amazing race,” Teron said. “They must have so much knowledge buried behind the language barrier. There are so many things I want to ask them.”
The other mermaid tilted its head, staring straight into Shri’s eyes. It smiled, revealing a row of sharp teeth. Its eyes were so mesmerizing, so haunting. Shri began to feel the lure, the urge to join them, and quickly shook her head to get rid of the feeling. The mermaids slowly dropped below under the surface, and the bay was calm again.
Shri shivered. She didn’t want to end up under the dark water, and definitely not in the clutches of those creatures. “What about the legends and stories? The songs about men who were pulled under the sea and killed by these creatures?”
“I... My studies... I’m pretty sure the tales are exaggerated.”
“Pretty sure?”
Teron stood up. His robe had opened, revealing wet spots on the knees of his brown trousers. Shri followed him toward the trees, but he seemed distracted, and he kept glancing over his shoulder at the bay. The light wind had grown brisker and fluttered both his open robe and Shri’s hair.
He turned to her and grabbed her by the sleeve. “Hey... You told me that someone used the spell of ripping on you.”
“That’s not something—"
“Were you there inside all the time? Or did the ripping suck your presence away with it? Was it still you in there?”
Shri’s throat seemed to swell with the memories, and she had to swallow the emotion back down.
Teron sighed. “I know you don’t like to talk about it, but it's important. I... I’m trying to figure something out.”
Shri cleared her throat. “Yes, I think so. I was there, but it did feel like he was taking parts away from me.”