Zero Apologies

by Autumn Jones Lake

  Her lashes flutter and she trembles but doesn’t say anything.

  I squeeze her a little tighter. “I also need a shower.”

  No one has left our house yet, but they’d moved to the dining room and kitchen to give us space. Still, I’m painfully aware of time ticking down to when I need to be at the clubhouse. I don’t want to leave the peace of being surrounded by my family and face all the bullshit waiting for me. Getting out on bail was only the first step in putting this fuckery behind us. It’s also thrown a wrench in my plans to marry Lilly as soon as fucking possible.

  I stand and hold out a hand to Lilly. “Come upstairs with me for a minute.”

  She raises her eyebrows. “A minute?”

  My mouth slides into a smile. “Maybe more than a minute.”

  I pick Chance up and lay him on the couch, tucking a blanket around him. Pulling Lilly behind me, I stop across the hall in the entertainment room. The guys apparently took “entertainment” seriously while I was inside and set up a big screen television and video game station.

  I kick one of the gaming chairs now planted in the middle of the room and Jigsaw stares up at me. “You better not be getting my son addicted to video games.”

  “We told him they only work certain times of the day,” Rooster answers. “Like when he’s napping.”

  Next to me, Lilly chuckles. “Don’t harass them. Rooster went on a lot of grocery runs for us.”

  I slap Rooster’s shoulder. “Thanks, brother.”

  “Totally worth it. Your woman is an awesome cook.” He throws me a thumbs up without glancing away from the screen.

  In the dining room, Rock, Hope, Teller, Murphy, Wrath, and Trinity are sitting around drinking coffee and talking softly. “We’ll be upstairs,” I announce.

  “Surprised you waited this long,” Wrath says.

  I flip him off and drag Lilly toward the stairs. “Asshole,” I grumble.

  She lightly slaps my arm. “That’s not nice.”

  “You’ve met him, right?”

  The staircase seems longer than ever as we head to our room. It’s dark and quiet inside and I take a second to absorb the stillness.

  “Are you okay?” Lilly’s somber voice stirs me out of my mood.

  Except for the extreme desire to wash the last week off me and my throbbing need to be inside her, I’m fine. “Take your clothes off.”

  “I was starting to wonder…” Her voice trails off as she slips her shirt over her head and backs away from me.

  I reach for the belt loop on her jeans but she quickens her steps. “Where are you going?”

  She stares at me. “The circus. Where do you think?”

  Christ, I missed bantering with her.

  Her fingers fumble with the button of her jeans, giving me time to capture her with my hands around her waist and my mouth sliding over hers. “What were you wondering?”

  “Nothing, I—”

  “Better not have been how much I want you.” I bury my face against her neck and lick a slow trail to her ear. “I’ve wanted to pound you through the fucking wall since I got home.”

  She throws her arms around my neck and presses her cheek against my chest. “I’m so happy you’re home.”

  “Me too.” My hands slide down to her ass, which for some reason is still covered in denim. “Need help?”

  She slips her hands under my shirt and tugs it up over my head. “No, I need you naked.”

  “What a coincidence.”

  Laughing, she spins away and grabs my hand, dragging me to the open bathroom door. Inside, she flips on the light and I squint. “Sorry,” she murmurs, flipping the harsher lights off.

  I pin her with a look that I hope she interprets as Get naked for me now.

  While I wanted to help strip her down, I end up standing there admiring her while she shimmies out of her pants and sets them on the counter.

  “Did you get some new ink you don’t want me to see or something?” she asks, gesturing to my jeans that I haven’t bothered to remove.

  I snort and shake my head. “Fuck no.”

  “Sorry, that was a bad joke.”

  “No, it was funny. You don’t ever have to apologize to me, Lilly.”

  “I…” Her hands flutter between us. “Don’t know what the right thing to say or do is in this situation.”

  “Lilly.” I pull her closer. “There is no right thing. And I’m sorry that you’re in this position.” I brush her hair off her cheek. “But I’m so fucking thankful you’re still here.”

  “I couldn’t leave you again.”

  “Some people might and they wouldn’t be wrong.”

  Her bottom lip quivers. “I can’t lie to you. I thought about that. Over and over. What’s best for Chance?” Her voice dies down to a whisper. “For me?”

  Yeah, I thought about that a lot too. Thought about how much I don’t want to watch my kid grow up on the other side of some weekly plexi-glass visits. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I can’t tell you this is going to all go away. It’s bullshit and I think—”

  “You don’t have to tell me how fucked the world is, Z. I’ve seen plenty.”

  “I know you have. I’m not trying to tell you I’m a good man or that my hands are clean.” I smirk and shake my head. “Although, I do enjoy the irony of this situation since I didn’t actually do it.”

  She lets out a sad huff. “It really wouldn’t matter to me if you had.” Her sad brown eyes meet mine. “Does that make me an awful person?”

  “No, it makes you a good ol’ lady.”

  I’m not sure if she took that as a compliment.

  “Tell me what happened? I never asked Rock for a lot of…details. Can you tell me?”

  “What I’m charged with? Arson.”

  “Jesus, Z.”

  “The night Teller was shot. We were there, but didn’t have anything to do with it.”

  “Why were you there?”

  “Because of some bullshit Shadow fed me.”

  “Oh my God. You think he knew and wanted to hurt you?”

  “Maybe.”

  She blinks. “You think he set the fire?”

  “I don’t fucking know.” I scrub my hands over my face. “Can’t exactly ask the fucker now, either.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whispers.

  “Hey.” I press my palms against her cheeks and force her to look at me. “That’s got nothing to do with you.”

  She pushes those beautiful, full lips of hers into a pout. As much as I want to keep talking to her, now I can’t stop thinking about shoving my cock between them.

  “No more morbid talk, woman.” I grip her hips and pick her up, fusing our lips together. “Shower with me,” I mumble against her as I carry us to the walk-in shower.

  Without breaking our kiss, she reaches out, searching for the shower knob.

  Ice-cold water blasts us from all sides and she screams, sliding out of my grasp. “Fuck! That’s cold.” She ducks out of the spray and adjusts the temperature while I stand there, admiring the way her soaked bra shows off her hard nipples.

  “Come here.” I catch her hand and turn her away from me. Flicking the clasp of her bra, I peel it off her and toss it on the shelf. “These too.” I tuck my fingers in her underwear and drag it down her legs. “Fuck.” I stop and kiss the backs of her thighs. “Thought about you every second, Lilly. And every inch of you is still more perfect than my fantasies.”

  Her legs tremble as I turn her to face me. I flick my gaze up and catch her watching me. “Missed your pretty pussy.”

  Slipping my hand between her thighs, I spread her legs apart and slide my tongue over her skin.

  “Oh,” she gasps and spears her hands into my hair.

  The slight sting of her nails against my scalp frees the beast in me. I back her up to the wall and shove her legs apart.

  “Did you touch yourself while I was gone?”

  She stares down at me with wide eyes. “Are you kidding? I wanted to cry
every time I was in our bed alone. That was the last thing on my mind.”

  I rub my cheek against her thigh and press little kisses over soft skin. “I’m sorry, siren.”

  Keeping a good grip on her leg, I lift it over my shoulder. “Hold that bar.”

  Without taking her eyes off me, she reaches out and wraps her right hand around the metal bar bolted to the wall.

  “I want you to come on my tongue.”

  “It won’t take much.”

  Grinning, I move in closer and press my lips right above her clit. I’m torn between wanting to draw this out, teasing her for as long as possible and wanting to pound the fuck out of her.

  Her body jolts when I sweep my tongue over her clit. Everything else is forgotten except the pleasure I so badly want to give her. She tangles her fingers in my hair, grinding her pussy against my face and I groan at how good she tastes.

  “Please,” she whines. Her fingers grasp my hair.

  I slide a finger inside her and she moans so loud it echoes around us. Her pussy tightens. This isn’t going to take long. Working into a perfect rhythm of sucking, rubbing, and flicking, I bring her to orgasm in seconds.

  “Oh God. Just like that!”

  I keep going, thrusting deeper, sucking harder until her whole body convulses. She’s still twitching with little aftershocks when I lower her leg and stand, pressing my body against hers.

  Her eyes flicker open and she presses her hand to my chest.

  “You needed that, huh?” I tease.

  “God, yes.” She drops her gaze. “And why are you still wearing pants? In the shower.”

  Laughter rumbles out of me. “Too eager to get my face in your pussy, I guess.”

  She slides down my body, working my soaked jeans down my legs as she goes. I step out and she tosses them in the corner with a wet slap against the tile.

  “Kinda wanted you to ride—”

  My words are lost as she closes her lips around the tip of my cock.

  “Fuck.” I squeeze my eyes shut, concentrating on how amazing her tongue feels.

  She moans as she sucks me deeper and my hips rock forward. She makes another encouraging noise and rests her hands on my thighs.

  “Lilly,” I groan.

  My hands tangle in her hair, holding the back of her head while I fuck her mouth with short, quick strokes. Within seconds, the familiar tingle of pleasure rocks down my spine. My muscles lock up and I’m pouring everything I have to give down her throat. My head spins. My pulse pounds in my ears and I finally remember to release my death grip on her head.

  She gasps for air when I release her but she curls her hands around my legs, resting her cheek on my thigh.

  “Are you okay?” I rasp.

  “I think so.” Butterfly soft, she kisses my leg before tipping her head back and staring up at me.

  “Get up here.” I hold out my hand and help her up.

  She presses her body against me and I lean back on the wall to support us. I kiss the top of her head. “Want to finish our shower?”

  “Yes, that should give you enough time to recover.” She jerks her thumb in the direction of the bedroom. “Because I need to ride you like a bronco.”

  I sputter and laugh. “Well, all right then.” I glance around. “Am I washing your hair?”

  “I’ll worry about it later.” She picks up a bar of soap and starts lathering it up, motioning for me to turn around.

  “Eager, siren?”

  “You have no idea.” She digs her slippery fingers into my muscles and I brace myself on the wall in front of me, letting the shower rain down my back while she washes me. “Are you okay?” she asks softly.

  “Much better now.”

  “I’m serious. I was worried about you after Murphy got out and they moved you to county. They made it sound like it was awful.”

  “No one soaped me up in the shower if that’s what you’re asking.”

  There’s a wet, stinging slap on my ass. “Angus Frazier, that’s not funny.”

  “Love when you say my whole name like that, baby.”

  “Ugh.” She reaches past me and shuts off the water.

  “I wasn’t done.”

  “I am.” She pushes the door open and grabs a towel, wrapping it around her sinful curves. “Let’s go, cowboy.”

  “I thought you wanted to play cowboy?” I grin at her and take the towel she offers me.

  She groans again and marches into the bedroom. Because I’m dying for more of her, I follow.

  At the bed, she stops and rips off my towel and shoves me down on the mattress. I pretend to cover my junk. “I feel so taken advantage of.”

  She flings her towel to the side and climbs on top of me, staring down into my eyes. “Is that right?” she whispers.

  Her hips shift, brushing her hot pussy against my rapidly-gaining-interest cock.

  “Uh-huh.”

  “So, you don’t want this, then?” She dips lower, sliding her wet heat over my now hard-enough-to-pound-nails cock.

  I stop her maddening movements with a hand on her hip. With my free hand, I grip my cock and drag it through her wetness. “Up. Need you so fucking bad.”

  Her teeth sink into her bottom lip as she raises up. I have to close my eyes while she slides down my cock or this will be over fast. Even after the fantastic shower head, I’m still ready to blow. She slides down my cock and I grit my teeth. Home. She feels like home that I’ve been away from for way too long.

  “Oh, that’s good,” she moans.

  Fuck, I missed her beautiful face.

  She places her hands on my chest and rolls her hips a few times, slowly picking up speed.

  “Just like that.” My hand slides from her hip and slaps her ass. “Faster.”

  She gives me a crooked smile. “Make up your mind.”

  She’s had a solid eight seconds of living out her bucking bronco fantasy, right? I dig my heels into the mattress and buck her off me. Before she has time to protest, I’m behind her. Hands on her hips, I yank her to me, burying myself inside her.

  I lean down over her back, kiss her shoulder, and push her hair away from her face. “Had your chance, cowgirl. Let me show you how it’s done.”

  She buries her face in the pillows, but her laughter floats back to me.

  I pop her on the ass. “I’d quit laughing and brace yourself on that headboard if I were you.”

  “Bring it.” She laughs harder but places her palms against the headboard.

  “That’s right.” I push forward and squeeze my eyes shut.

  “Oh, God.” She moans, wriggles and pushes back against me. “Faster.”

  “Easy, siren. Let me enjoy this.” I gather her long, thick hair in one hand and tug, halting her movements. “That’s right. Nice and slow.”

  She moans as I push through her slick pussy until I’m balls deep, then lets out a little whimper.

  “Too much?”

  “God, oh Jesus.”

  “That’s it. Keep praying, siren. I’m gonna fuck you hard and fast now.”

  “Promises, promises.”

  Love the teasing in her voice. It’s pure challenge. Something I can’t resist. Let’s me know she’s right here with me enjoying every punishing thrust.

  I’m rough but take my time mixing long deep strokes with short shallow ones. I’m relentlessly aiming for the spots that light her perfect body up. Her hands drop from the headboard, curling in the sheets.

  “Come on,” I whisper.

  She lets out a strangled gasp.

  “Rub your clit for me. I don’t want to let go of you.” I squeeze her hips as she slides her hand under us. “That’s it,” I encourage.

  “Oh.” Her surprised gasp turns into a cry of pleasure and the beast in me is unleashed.

  My thrusts turn wild and unpredictable as she tightens under me. I grip her hips harder. She’s still throbbing around me when I thrust one last time. The sounds I make are more animal than human.

  Spent, I
fall down next to her. “Come here, I didn’t kiss you enough yet.” I scoop her up and pull her closer, smashing my mouth against hers. Taking the longest, greediest kiss.

  And the cynic in the back of my head wonders if this happiness can last. I may have temporarily forgotten all the trouble ahead but in a few months, there’s the possibility I’ll be going to prison. Inside and away from everything that matters to me.

  Inside for a long damn time.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Lilly

  My legs are still shaking when Z rolls to the side and declares it’s time to get up.

  “I hope Chance is still sleeping,” I mutter as I search for some clothes.

  “Not sure how anyone could sleep through what happened up here.”

  I turn and find Z smiling, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Everything’s fucking perfect now.”

  “Yes, yes, you’re fantastic in bed as always, but you look troubled.”

  He snorts and throws open his closet door. “Troubled doesn’t really begin to cover it, Lilly. I’m looking at twenty-five years. Not sure how many conjugal visits you’re up for.”

  How can he talk about this so casually? Make a joke out of something so awful? He’s in his closet so he doesn’t see me coming. I’m so filled with rage at his words, I reach out and shove him. He stumbles forward and turns to me with wide eyes. “What the fuck?”

  “Don’t say shit like that!”

  He narrows his eyes, maybe shocked because I’ve never screamed at him before. “It’s the truth, Lilly. Better wrap that pretty head of yours around it now.”

  I raise my hands again, not to hit him. Maybe to shove him until he stops killing me with every word, but he captures my wrists. “Don’t test me, siren,” he growls.

  “Stop it,” I plead, on the verge of tears now. “Don’t joke about this. It’s not funny. I’m scared.”

  “I’m not joking. Trust me.”

  “Did you do it?”

  “I already told you I didn’t.”

  “Then we’ll get you out of it.”

  He still hasn’t released my wrists and he drives me backwards until the backs of my legs hit the bed and I’m forced to drop onto the mattress. “It doesn’t matter, Lilly. I’m on their radar for some reason I don’t understand. This case might be more about who I am than what I’ve done. Do you get that? Taking down a president of our club makes these fucks look good and they’ll go for it if they can get away with it.”