by Liz Isaacson
“Because,” he said, his voice exploding out of him. “Because, then I have to go back to that place by myself. And I don’t—I’m not sure I can go back there by myself.”
“Flynn,” she said, almost desperate for him to understand. “If you would have told me, you wouldn’t have to do anything by yourself.” She didn’t care that she’d just laid out all of her feelings for him. If she expected him to do so, she would have to as well.
Chapter 10
Flynn couldn’t figure out how to put his feelings into words. They didn’t make sense to him, so how in the world would they make sense to Jessie?
Everything inside him felt wound so tight, and he could barely breathe through the pressure against his lungs. He couldn’t believe she’d just told him to break up with her.
He didn’t want to break up with her—and that alone was enough to confuse him for days. When things got hard, Flynn did cut ties. No strings. The end.
Yet, somehow, he didn’t want to do that with Jessie.
He didn’t want to live on that ranch without someone there with him. He didn’t want to leave Quinn Valley, where all of his friends were, where he’d been accepted, where he belonged.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I…don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Obviously,” she said, folding her arms and accompanying the harsh word with a soft smile.
Some of the tension in his shoulders bled out, and he relaxed. His eyes moved back out the windshield, the summer sunshine belying how stormy he felt inside.
“If I move to the ranch,” he said. “I have to leave Quinn Valley.”
“Yeah,” Jessie said.
“And that means I don’t get to kiss you in the barn in the morning, or see any of my friends, and I don’t know.” He let out a long sigh. “I want the ranch. I do. I went into a huge amount of debt to get it. But I…don’t know. I don’t—haven’t been able to work out leaving Quinn Valley and being on my own.”
“Flynn.” She unbuckled her seatbelt and slid across the seat, pressing right into his side. He lifted his arm around her shoulders, enjoying her companionship, the very real presence of her, her calming spirit.
“Flynn,” she said again, and he looked at her.
“You’re beautiful,” he said.
“Don’t distract me.” She smiled at him, but her eyes remained serious. “You can build everything we have at Quinn Valley at your own place. Everything.”
“Yeah.” He could, and he had access to Rhodes, who’d tell him everything he needed to know. And it wasn’t like he’d be moving very far—his ranch sat on the west side of Quinn Valley, a mere thirty minutes from where he worked now.
“What did you decide to name it?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he said, so tired of those three words.
“I don’t believe that.” She turned to him and swept her lips across his cheek. “Come on, cowboy. This doesn’t sound like you at all, Flynn.” Her last words were whispered, so full of emotion and truth.
“I know,” he said. “I’m thinking of naming it Four Lanterns.” He hoped she wouldn’t ask why, but then she wouldn’t be the Jess Quinn he knew.
“Why’s that?”
He smiled to himself and said, “One for each member of my family. We’ve always been a light in the darkness for each other.” He looked down at her again, easily matching his mouth to hers in a sweet, sweet kiss.
So much sighed through him, and he pulled away with the words, “So we’re okay, right, Jess?” He leaned his forehead against hers. “I need you.”
“Yeah,” she said. “We’re okay. We better get going, so your mother doesn’t start to worry.”
Flynn picked up his hat from where it had fallen during the kiss and put it back on his head, the weight of things already settling back on his shoulders. “Yeah,” he said.
He drove them to Lewiston, where his mother received them with laughter and smiles. Flynn was right about how she reacted to Jess’s gift, and she ushered them both inside where she had dinner waiting on the stove.
“She’s lovely,” his mother said, crowding him at the kitchen sink while he filled glasses with water.
“Ma,” he said, setting down one glass and reaching for another. “Don’t embarrass me.” He smiled at her, and she swatted his arm.
“Please. But you haven’t brought anyone home in years. Since Sandra.”
“I know, Mom.” He turned and put the drinks on the counter next to the salad. “I have some other news, Mom.” He somehow communicated to Jess that he needed her, because she came to his side and put her hand in his, squeezing tightly.
“I bought back the farm.” A measure of excitement moved through him, the same feeling that had been replaced by dread with every stroke of his signature.
His mother blinked at him, shock obvious on her face. “You did?”
“Yes,” Flynn said. “I’m moving in this weekend. I’d like to have everyone come when I get the new signs done.”
His mom turned to the stove, but all the burners had been turned off. “That’s great, Flynn.”
“You don’t sound like it’s great.” He took a step and looked down at her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said.
“Mom.”
“I don’t want to go back to the farm,” she said boldly.
“You don’t have to,” Flynn said, his own shock coloring his tone. “You can’t come for dinner?”
“Yeah, I can come for dinner.” She drew in a deep breath. “It’s just, that’s where your father died, and I don’t—I’m glad I was able to sell it.”
Flynn fell back a step, wishing his mother hadn’t said that. “I grew up expecting to have it for my family.” He didn’t like this new spotlight on the darkness in his soul.
His mom deflated, and she cut a glance at Jessie. “I know that, dear. I know losing it was difficult. I’m sorry.” She moved over to the counter with one step. “Let’s say grace and eat.”
Flynn did what she asked, but he couldn’t help stewing over her words at dinner. She didn’t feel bad about selling the farm, and all these years, he thought she had.
Jessie carried the conversation, something she was very good at, and Flynn let her. He drove her home and kissed her, mourning that he only had a few more days out on this ranch with her.
He said nothing though, because all of his doubts and fears were rising again. He didn’t know what to do with all of them, but he did know he’d spoken at least one true thing that day.
He did need Jessica Quinn—badly.
“All this stuff is ready?” Rhodes asked as soon as he’d come into Flynn’s living room. Flynn stood and surveyed the furniture he’d wrapped in sheets and the boxes he’d managed to pack in the last couple of days.
“Just the boxes,” he said. “I’m leaving the furniture. My real estate agent will come stage the place once I’m gone.” Flynn glanced around, thinking of all the work he needed to do. Windows to be washed. Floors scrubbed. Air freshened. He’d have to keep up with the yard too, though he was already planning on coming back to help Widow Jones every Saturday morning.
“All right, boys,” Rhodes said as Clay and Wyatt came inside. “Get the boxes. Newt, help Flynn make some more boxes. I don’t think he’s as ready as he thinks he is.” He grinned at Flynn, but the gesture didn’t make Flynn feel better.
Working with his friends, he managed to get everything into the back of a few pickup trucks and out to the ranch he now owned.
“Twin Sisters,” Wyatt said as he got out and started gazing around. “You keeping that?”
“No,” Flynn said. “I’m going to name it Four Lanterns. I’ll work on a sign in my free time.”
Wyatt chuckled. “I don’t think you’re going to have much of that, bro.”
“Much of what?” Clay asked, looking up at the house. “This place is awesome, Flynn.” He took the stairs two at a time and opened the front door. A whistle of appreciation follow
ed, and Wyatt followed Clay.
Flynn grabbed a couple of boxes from the back of his truck before he went in the house, and even he’d forgotten how nice it was.
“Wow,” Wyatt said. “This is incredible. Someone spent a lot of time and money in here.”
“Completely remodeled,” Flynn said. “Though my bedroom was the first door on the left there.”
“Yeah?” Clay smiled and went down the hall to poke his head inside. “Nice.”
“There aren’t many animals here,” Flynn said. “Eight or nine horses. A flock of chickens. It’s not a cattle ranch.”
“And yet you said you don’t have time to work at Quinn Valley,” Rhodes said, also carrying boxes with him.
“I might have to come back part-time,” Flynn said. “I just need some time off.”
“Come back for the harvest,” Rhodes said. “You’ll be settled by then, and we’ll need all the help we can get.”
“I’ll have to harvest here too,” Flynn said. “That’s all farmers do, didn’t you know? Plant, cultivate, and harvest.”
“I’m aware,” Wyatt said, as he was primarily responsible for the crops at Quinn Valley.
Flynn did need time to take stock of everything at his new place, and he had enough money to last a few months while he did. After that, he sure hoped the Washburns had planted enough crops to turn a profit this year.
It didn’t seem to take nearly as long to get the boxes inside the homestead as it had to get them out of his little brick house in town. And before he knew it, Rhodes clapped him on the shoulder and said, “I’m going to miss you at the ranch, Flynn.”
Flynn grabbed onto his best friend and hugged him, glad when Rhodes didn’t act weird about it. “I can do this, right?” he asked.
“Of course you can.” Rhodes stepped back, a smile on his face. “You can do this, Flynn, and you can do it well.” He walked toward the front door. “I’m going to go grab burgers from The Bacon Boys and bring them back. Jess said she’d be at your old place about four.”
“Right,” Flynn said, watching everyone walk out. They’d be back, with food, and Flynn grabbed onto that comforting thought as he started to unpack the boxes.
The Washburns hadn’t taken all of the furniture with them, so quick was their departure and so small was their place in Virginia. The couches and chairs in the dining and living room were of much better quality than Flynn had in the brick house, and he had a soft bed already set up to sleep in that night.
“Things are fine,” he told himself, finishing with his plates, bowls, and cups. Leaving the rest of the boxes for now, he took the journey down the hall, stopping just inside his childhood bedroom.
It didn’t hold the unmade bed, the dirty clothes, or the dresser full of baseball trophies anymore. Only a treadmill, with a television mounted on the wall in front of it. He probably wouldn’t use that, as he had nine hundred acres of property to roam and explore and memorize.
Down the hall sat his sister’s bedroom, and this one did have a queen-sized bed in it, with a dresser and frilly yellow curtains on the window. Across the hall sat a bathroom, and next to that a laundry room, with the back door that led into the garage and then into the yard.
In the back corner of the house sat his new master bedroom, with a bathroom almost the same size as it. Everything seemed to drip with prestige and money, and Flynn didn’t wholly hate it.
He knew it wasn’t the same bed, but he stood looking at the spot where his father had died all those years ago. He pressed one hand to his heart as he allowed himself to miss his dad more keenly than he had in a long, long time.
“I love you,” he whispered, finally feeling that ache close somewhat. He didn’t think it would ever be truly gone, but at least it didn’t feel like it could open up and swallow him whole at any given time.
He squared his shoulders. “I’m meant to be here.” And he felt a cleansing, washing tingle slide over his head, his shoulders, down his back.
And he knew.
God had just confirmed to him that yes, he was supposed to be on this farm, at this time.
“Thank you, Lord,” he whispered, turning to start unpacking his clothes.
Only a few minutes later, the front door opened, and Rhodes called, “Food’s here, Flynn.”
Chapter 11
Jessie arrived early to Flynn’s red brick house, her bucket of cleaning supplies full and ready to be put to good use. She’d managed to convince Georgia, Betsy, Cami, and Capri to come help her, and she’d promised them all cheesecake afterward. She already had Ivy, Bethany, and Maggie at the pub on alert.
It would be a regular Quinn dessert festival once they got this place cleaned up.
With everyone out of their cars and heading for the house, she did too. “All right,” she said. “Jenny wants to list this place on Monday, and I told her it would be ready.”
She opened the door, not sure what to expect. But furniture wrapped in sheets, and trash on the floor, and a half-dead plant still in the kitchen window wasn’t it.
“I’ll start in the kitchen,” she said, smothering a sigh. She felt like billing Flynn for the cheesecake she’d have to provide her sisters for doing this for her.
“I’ll take the bathrooms,” Betsy said.
“Bedrooms,” Georgia said, following Betsy and her bucket of cleaning supplies.
“I’ll stay out here,” Capri said, toeing an empty box of crackers that looked like it had been smashed under the couch. “And go out into the yard when I’m done here.”
“I’ll work on the front porch,” Cami said. “And do the windows.”
Soon enough, the scent of bleach and lilacs replaced that of Flynn’s cologne and leather and dirty boots. The vacuum cleaner ran, and in only a couple of hours, everything sparkled and shone and smelled great.
“He didn’t take his rocking chair,” she said, wiping the sweat from her forehead as she stepped back out onto the front porch. “I wonder if he wants it.”
“He’s here,” Capri said from her spot in the front flowerbed, weeds covering the ground at her feet. “So you can ask him.”
“Thanks, everyone,” Jessie said, suddenly anxious for them to leave. She hugged her sisters and Capri, and they started filing down the steps and to their cars.
“You guys came and cleaned?” Flynn asked, watching them.
“Heya, Flynn,” Betsy said. “Looks good in there now.”
“I’m embarrassed,” he said. “I didn’t clean up at all.”
“We saw,” Georgia deadpanned, a smile on her face.
Flynn looked at Jessie, and he didn’t look entirely pleased. “They wanted to come help,” Jessie said. “We all love you, Flynn.”
She pulled in a tight breath at the words, but they were true. She loved Flynn on a brotherly level for sure. If they hadn’t been dating, she’d have missed him on the ranch. Felt his loss, the same way her sisters did.
Stepping into his arms, she drew his attention fully to her. “Don’t be mad,” she said, tipping up to kiss him. Someone honked as they drove away, and she heard feminine laughter. She didn’t care, because kissing Flynn was everything she’d ever hoped and imagined it would be.
“Come on,” she said a minute later. “Take me out to Four Lanterns and show me around.”
By the time Jessie showed up at the pub, the Quinn dessert party was in full swing. Cami sat next to Ivy and Maggie, saying, “At least you guys have someone. I can’t seem to find someone to date for longer than a couple of weeks.”
“Riley’s was a week, and look at her,” Maggie said knowingly. “You just need to find the right guy.”
“Yeah.” Cami sighed as Jessie sat next to Maggie. “Hey, there you are.”
“Yeah, sorry, I went with Flynn for a minute.” Those words seemed to bring everyone’s attention to her, and Jessie didn’t like the weight of it.
In that moment, she realized she liked being on the sidelines, out of the spotlight, taking care of the calves at her
standing desk in the barn.
Her cousins were great, though she heard all the questions before even one was vocalized.
“Yes,” she said. “I’m dating Flynn Hollister.”
“And how’s it going?” Cami asked, though she knew full well how Jessie’s relationship with the handsome cowboy was going.
“Great,” she said airily. “He’s moved off the ranch now, and he has a lot of work to do at his new farm. But good.” She reached for the last piece of cheesecake. “This is mine, right?”
“I saved it for you,” Ivy said, sliding the plate closer to her. “And I’m glad you’re seeing Flynn. You two are cute together.”
“Which one is Flynn?” Maggie asked.
“The super-hot one?” Cami asked. “Been single forever. Loves to dance….” She raised her eyebrows, and Jessie was glad she hadn’t finished that sentence.
“Oh, right. Flynn.” Maggie smiled at Jessie. “He doesn’t usually have girlfriends for long either, Cami, and look at him now.”
“Yeah, there’s totally hope for you,” Ivy said, turning back to Cami and taking the spotlight off Jessie. Thankfully.
They started talking about the cowboys they could set Cami up with, and Jessie ate entirely too much sugar, first in the form of cheesecake, and then a blondie, and then mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Later, as she drove past Granny’s cabin on the way back to the homestead, she whispered, “Start praying, Granny. I think Flynn and I are going to need it.”
A week passed without Flynn at the ranch, and then another. Jessie missed him more than she thought possible, and she knew now why Georgia and Betsy didn’t spend nearly as much time at home as they used to.
They wanted to be with the men they loved, and they wore the diamonds that allowed them to do that.