by Ivy Asher
I feel like I’m sitting in the middle of some fucked up cockpit with no means of escape while gryphons do the dirty in the background and Treno does some weird ass National Geographic voice-over.
“We’re mates, we can push thoughts to each other like this,” Treno tells me, a hint of surprise in the tone of his explanation. “I would ask if you knew that, but it’s clear that you didn’t,” he adds.
“We can hear each other all the time?” I question, my pitch a little too high and completely giving away the hysteria I feel right now.
“No, only when we push thoughts at each other purposefully. And only like this…” he trails off for a moment. “Although I have heard of mates who could do it when they aren’t shifted, but I’ve never heard you or been able to reach out mentally when we aren’t,” he quickly adds when I mentally clutch my chest and start to hyperventilate.
Oh wait, that’s not me, that’s Pigeon having a really good time.
I rein in my side-eye and try to focus on Treno’s voice instead of what’s happening outside of my head. It’s a little too weird for me to wrap my mind around.
Fuck, is this how Pigeon feels when I’m enjoying myself?
I make a note to ask her later, as she’s very occupied right now. Treno’s words register and I pause, thinking back to the times that it seemed like Zeph could read my mind or would mysteriously react to a thought I was having. Irritation simmers inside of me as I realize that maybe Treno can’t connect with me at all times, but I strongly suspect that another one of my mates can. I shake my head, and a flood of wonder hits me about what he might have heard without me knowing.
How the hell can he do that, yet I’ve never picked up on a stray thought from him?
Treno chuckles again, and I narrow my mental eyes at him. “This is how it should be, flower, don’t worry about it. Our gryphons need each other as much as we do. This strengthens our bond with each other and them.”
“I get that, but how do you not feel like a perv?”
A wave of pleasure crashes through me, answering the question I never thought to wonder about before, that gryphons do, in fact, have orgasms.
“It is a little...different, but we’ll get used to it in time,” he reassures me, and I chuckle.
There’s no use denying the in time part of his statement or pretending that this will never happen again. I knew as soon as I accepted Treno and chose to be intimate with him, I was accepting my connection with not just him but with Ryn and Zeph too. I wait for the worry that I’ve been feeling for a while in regard to my connections with Treno, Zeph, and Ryn to surface again, but surprisingly it doesn’t.
I’m almost tempted to argue with the lack of concern flowing through me that there’s no way to be sure they’ll stay like this, but it’s like my soul has no room for doubt or suspicion.
“Are you alright?” Treno asks, pulling me from my soul observations.
His question throws me off for a moment. Am I?
“Are you?” I slingshot back.
“Yes, our disconnect was killing me,” he confesses.
Empathy washes through me, along with some other things Pigeon is experiencing. Damn, I didn’t know gryphons got down like that, I observe, twisting my head to try and understand the angles going on.
I focus back on Treno and his thoughts. “You know that what happened between the Avowed and the Hidden wasn’t your fault, right?” I ask, and Treno is silent for a beat too long. “Treno, I know you’re questioning everything and trying to understand why you didn’t see things sooner, but you have to consider the circumstances surrounding you too before you decide that you’re the only one responsible for the state of this world,” I tell him.
A screech of joy fills my head, and I focus on Pigeon, quickly wishing I hadn’t.
“Well, that’s certainly one way to use a tail,” Treno comments, a little stunned.
I laugh and then try to scrub the visual away, returning to what Treno and I are discussing.
“The battle about the Vow and the Gryphons started long before you were born, Treno. The Gryphons were barely even free and absolutely not at all recovered from what happened with the Ouphe when the fight for power started between your parents’ generation. You grew up in a brutal time, believing people you loved about the Vow and what it meant for you and those around you,” I point out. “I’m sorry that it took you until now to see the other side of things, but it’s not like the nature of the Gryphons in general is to sit and talk things out, it’s definitely much more of a ‘rip someone apart first and ask questions later’ kind of culture,” I point out.
Treno chuckles a little, and the sound of it makes me feel all warm and gooey.
“I’m not saying that the self-reflection you’re doing is bad or that you shouldn’t feel the way that you do, but at least give yourself some credit. As soon as you saw the other side of things, you’ve been working to better the situation. Not everyone would do that, and you should realize what it says about you and the kind of male that you are that you’re doing everything you can to be better and do better.”
Treno releases a deep sigh in my mind, and I wish I could reach out and hug him right now.
“I forgot that my flower was smart, beautiful, understanding, and...wise,” he tells me, and I’m relieved to hear the playful smile in his tone.
I gasp, shocked. “How could you forget that the gate chose so wisely for you?” I tease in mock horror.
“I truly have no excuses for such a derelict mind.”
“Well, great, you get wise, smart, beautiful, and understanding for your mate, and I get derelict and forgetful,” I taunt.
Treno laughs.
“Forgetful, but stunningly handsome, don’t forget that part.”
“True!” I concede. “...and that cock,” I add salaciously.
“Mmmm, and that,” he agrees on a purr.
“I’d fuck the derelict out of you right now if I wasn’t, you know, trapped inside my body.”
Treno sighs longingly. “By the stars, how long do you think they’ll go for?”
I shrug and shake my head, tilting it to the side as I take in what’s happening. “I mean, I thought their beaks were too sharp for what they’re doing right now, so what the hell do I know about anything?”
I mentally conjure a big fluffy recliner and plop my ass down, lifting the footrest. “I think it’s going to be a while,” I admit as I settle in. “But hey, plenty of time to hear all about your most embarrassing moments,” I encourage, and then I get as excited as a kid waiting for an epic bedtime story.
“What? Why would I ever tell you that?” Treno argues.
“You already said you would, you can’t take it back now.”
“When did I say that?”
I tsk, disappointed. “There’s that forgetfulness again,” I tease.
Treno barks out an incredulous laugh. “Oh, you think you’re sneaky?”
“The sneakiest,” I volley. “Feel free to add that to your list of my incredible qualities,” I advise, biting back a chuckle. “Don’t forget,” I add, cracking up.
“You’re going to get it, flower. Just as soon as they’re done...”
“Promise?” I ask with a bawdy wag of my eyebrows. “Until then though...tell me all your secrets,” I demand on a faux evil laugh, with steepled fingers and happiness in my heart.
20
“Hey, I brought you...uhhh, what are you doing?” Ryn asks as he bursts unannounced into Wekun’s tent.
I jump in surprise from his sudden appearance and back away from the mirror I was just making faces into because...I’m weird. I adopt a casual what are you talking about mien and shoot him my best innocent eyes.
“What do you mean?” I ask smoothly, not at all sounding like I just got caught doing something bizarre.
He steps further into the tent, the entrance flaps dropping closed behind him, and his eyes glitter with amusement.
Shit, he’s onto me.
He
walks closer, a smile twitching at the corners of his lips. “I mean, why are you looking into the glass and making that face?” he doubles down, clearly not getting the hint to just let it go.
I clear my throat and shrug nonchalantly. “What face? I was just looking in the mirror.”
“Uhh, no, you were looking in the glass and doing a creepy smile while you made your eyes bigger and then smaller and then bigger again. Are you well?”
“If someone smiled at you like that right before they killed you, would it make your blood run cold?” I ask, abandoning my efforts to pretend I’m not a freak in hopes for some honest feedback.
“No, my blood is always warm,” he counters.
“No, not literally, I mean, in the sense of would you be scared? Like, if I was about to kill you and I smiled at you like that, would it terrify you, make you wet yourself, and then accept that you’re going to perish in a state of soul crushing terror?” I elaborate.
“Why are you killing me?” he asks, moving to sit on the bed.
I roll my eyes. “Ryn, you’re making this way more difficult than it needs to be.”
“I am?” he defends. “I walk in on you staring into the glass with a look on your face that makes you look addled, and instead of just telling me what you’re doing, you threaten to kill me and hope I die in a puddle of my own piss.”
I pause. “Well, when you put it that way…but addled as in scary crazy or just…”
Ryn groans and throws himself back on the bed. I chuckle and move to put the mirror back where it normally sits in the corner.
“What did you bring me?” I ask, eyeing the package resting against his thigh.
“Oh no, you’ll get nothing out of me until you confess whatever it was that you were doing,” he taunts, grabbing the package and holding it out of reach when I make a dive for it anyway.
“Stupid fast ass gryphon reflexes,” I grumble as I eye the mystery prize now being held high over my head.
I know I have no chance of getting it, because these fuckers are the size of a skyscraper, which is just completely unfair. I groan and take my turn flinging myself back on the bed in exasperation. Ryn chuckles and pulls me into him. I sigh contentedly and then side-eye myself and then Pigeon. She just looks at me like what?
“Well, I was trying to visualize breaking the Vow. I can’t exactly practice on anyone here, and it’s probably going to be a clutch deal, so I was attempting to prepare as much as possible,” I start. “But then I began to think about Lazza and the battle that’s about to go down in a couple of days. Which made me think of Loa and all the things I’m going to do to her when I see her. That made me wonder what I’d say to her just before I ripped her throat out, and then I suddenly needed to know what my face would look like as I said those words. Which is what you observed when you flounced in here, without knocking, I might add.”
I can’t read the look on Ryn’s face, but it’s definitely not amusement or anger or any of the things I thought I’d see when bringing up his sister and my plans for her.
“My sister is dead, Falon,” he tells me, a hint of unease in his tone.
“Wait. What?” I demand, sitting up and studying his face for any hints of deception.
Ryn sits up too, obviously concerned by how upset I am. “I thought you knew. I ripped her head off before her blade was even off your throat.”
“What?” I ask again, my tone high-pitched and disbelieving, like I no longer speak the same language and have no idea what he’s saying. “But I wanted to kill her,” I confess quietly, as all my plans for vengeance just fall out all over the floor and start to wilt.
Of all the scenarios I pictured in my head, her already being dead was never one of them. Ryn’s words steal the wind from my retribution-taut sails, and I have no idea which direction to steer in now. Thoughts of killing Loa have been a driving force in how hard I’ve been training and working to master my runes and abilities. Yes, breaking the Vow and surviving a Gryphon war has been a factor too, but I had big plans for that bitch.
I mean, I just spent an hour perfecting my evil smile so that it would be just right for when Loa and I met again.
Fuck!
Ryn pulls my pissed off and distraught ass into his lap, and I’m reeling too much to object.
“Falon, I can see that you are not happy, but I woke up and Treno was yelling. I looked over to see Raquel press the knife to your neck, and then I just reacted,” he tells me, his hand soothingly caressing my back while the other does the same against my thigh. “She didn’t see me coming until it was too late, but you were bleeding and pulling at my life force, and all I could do was rip her apart for hurting you, for betraying us.”
Ryn pauses like the pain is still fresh and lapping at him, and I hate that I can still feel the knife cut into my skin and smell Loa’s disdain like it’s still in the air. He brings a hand up and runs the pad of his thumb over the scar at my throat, and I close my eyes and breathe through the rush of feelings it stirs in me.
Pain, fear, sadness, and regret from the memory of what happened war with the warmth and adoration Ryn’s touch tries to entice out of me.
“Zeph broke in and scooped you up. He was nearby to help extract us and the others that were going to join the Hidden. But everything went wrong when I was on my way to get you, to tell you it was time to go. I didn’t know about Treno. I knew you grabbed his attention, but I’ve known him my whole life, and nothing has ever kept it. I didn’t realize that you two had called to each other,” he tells me, his voice suddenly softer, a touch gruffer.
“Maybe I was too focused on trying to ignore my own reactions to my mate and our unfulfilled call to pay attention to what was happening. I’ll have to live with that.” Ryn’s thumb traces my scar again, and I realize that he blames himself for its existence. “After I killed Raquel, and Zeph had you, I grabbed Treno. He was suffering the most, we think because of your newly formed connection, and then we ran as fast as we could before we were too weak to move like you and Treno were.”
His accounting of what happened pulls me back into the moment that I’m sure will haunt me until the day that I die. The feel of the metal against my throat, the warm blood pouring out of me, knowing I would be the death of the others, it’s hard to sift through. I wanted to be Loa’s reckoning, but Ryn got there first, and technically he bears the bigger scars from her betrayal, even if his wounds are on the inside.
“I’m sorry you went through that,” I tell him, placing my hand over his on my chest as he traces my scar, his eyes filled with torment and despair. “I’m sorry she betrayed you.”
Ryn closes his eyes and leans his head against mine. Just like with Treno the other day, I’m hit by the realization of what Ryn has been suffering through.
A flash of what he looked like as Lazza slowly choked him to death, and the fear that I felt when I thought he had succeeded, strikes through my mind. And then I see him grasping at the threads of our mate bond as I try to sever it, and he tries to reattach the broken bonds to his chest.
No, this... This will be what haunts me until the day that I die. I had my reasons, and I thought they were right at the time, but I will never get the image of his desperate tries to keep us connected out of my mind. We’ve all fucked up on such epic levels, and yet here I am in his lap, being comforted and trying to comfort in return.
Maybe it wasn’t all for nothing.
“I thought she was dead. I never suspected for a second that somehow she survived and chose Lazza over me. She liked him as an eyas, but...”
“She was a fucking psycho. I thought she loved you and that’s why she was oddly protective, but then she just watched as Lazza was killing you...I’m glad she’s dead. And I’m grateful to you for protecting me.”
“But I didn’t,” he argues.
“Yes, you did, you watched out for me in Kestrel City, made sure I was okay. I thought it was Treno, but Sice and Dri were your guards. You’re the one who made sure Lazza didn’t for
ce the actual Vow on me.” I rub the back of my neck where his friend Saner put the dead mark. “You tried to get me out of there, you rescued Treno even though he was a threat to you. You stood up for me against Zeph—”
“Not soon enough,” he interrupts, as though that one thing trumps everything else.
“So you’ll get better. We know he’ll give you opportunities no matter what he says; asshole is in that guy’s blood.”
Ryn snorts and tightens his hold on me, and I breathe him in.
“And you’ll stay...please,” he asks me, and I lean back in shock at the foreign word whose purpose I once had to explain to him.
His knowing smile lights up his face because he knows he’s got me. This hard ass just said please, regardless of how foreign the concept is to him, and if I needed more proof that things are exactly as they’re supposed to be, that’s it. I shake my head and chuckle.
“Please,” he says again quietly, his eyes alight with mischief and heat as he leans in, closing the distance between us. “Please,” he adds again for good measure before he threads his fingers through my hair and kisses me.
The back of my neck tingles like it’s reminding me of just one of the things this male has done for me, and I waste no time in fervently kissing Ryn back. Heat flickers through me as I move from simply sitting in Ryn’s lap to straddling him, our kiss scorching my lips and his touch sending a blaze of need through me. He sucks on my bottom lip, eliciting a moan from me, and I grind down on his hardening length as an inferno of desire sweeps through my body.
I pull away from Ryn’s lips.
Fuck, why is it suddenly so hot in here?
Ryn looks confused for a moment when my features fill with distress, and then all of a sudden, it’s like someone is taking a hot poker to the back of my neck. I scream and hear a matching panicked yell from Ryn.
One second I’m in his lap, eager to reconnect and claim my place in his soul, and the next, cold wind whips my hair behind me as I look up from the purple-dirt-covered ground I just landed on, right into the aqua eyes of the enemy.
“So glad you could join us, Falon Solei Umbra, although this probably won’t be as much fun for you as it will be for me,” Lazza sneers, and then he hits me...hard.