by Linda Ladd
"A wise man adapts himself to circumstances as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. We must do the same while we walk through this life."
"Oh, yes, I feel the same way. It's comforting somehow, isn't it?" Tyler looked down and plucked at a blade of grass. "I lost my baby, you know, just a few months ago." She stopped as if overcome by emotion, but then she went on, her words earnest. "But I had him for a while, and I treasure that gift. I believe that God may have already given us another child, though I'm not sure yet."
"I hope you will have another soon."
"The longer Gray and I have to wait, the more precious our baby will become to us. Don't you think so?"
"All life is precious, no matter how great or small."
The two women shared a meaningful smile, and Windsor suddenly felt a closer kinship with Tyler Kincaid. She sensed they were alike, in their hearts where it mattered.
While Windsor gazed upon Tyler's face, the other woman glanced past her, and her expression suddenly changed to one of fear. She put her hand to her mouth, stifling a scream, but before Windsor could spin around to see what had frightened her, a shrill cry split the air.
"Chee, chee, chee, chee," sounded close to her ear; then something warm and furry grabbed her around the neck and scrambled up her arm to her shoulder.
"Jun-li!" Windsor cried, rising to her knees as the small monkey clung to her. She hugged the capuchin with both arms, overcome with joy to find him alive.
Tyler scrambled away as the monkey screeched loudly again and jumped to the ground, but Windsor's gaze was now riveted on the horse picking its way along the sandy riverbank a short distance downstream. The rider was slumped weakly against the horse's neck, but she could see the white eagle feathers in his black hair.
"It's Sun-On-Wings, Tyler! Run and get Stone Kincaid! Quickly!" she urged, already sprinting toward the Indian with Jun-li scampering madly to keep up.
Windsor vaguely heard Tyler calling to her husband, did not see Stone and Gray racing toward them, saw only her weary friend, still astride but barely able to hold on.
"Sun-On-Wings!" she cried when she reached him, grabbing the dangling bridle. The young Osage warrior's cheek was pressed against the mare's mane. He opened bleary eyes at the same time that Windsor saw his leg. "You're hurt!" she exclaimed, reaching up to him, her frightened eyes on the blood-drenched deerskin of his fringed leggings.
"Yellow-Haired-Warrior-Woman…" he mumbled, but his face crumpled with pain as he endeavored to swing his leg over the horse and slide to the ground, "Carlos sick—"
When Tyler ran up behind Windsor, Sun-On-Wings was painfully shrugging the strap of the cradleboard over his shoulder. He collapsed onto his knees, still protecting the child in the carrier. Windsor went down with him, trying to support his weight, and Tyler quickly took the child as Stone and Gray rushed up to help.
"He's been shot in the leg," Windsor told Stone. "We've got to get him to the house. Hurry! Look how much blood he's losing!"
The boy groaned as Stone and Gray lifted him between them and carried him off toward the hacienda with Windsor running alongside them. Tyler stood where she was and stared down at the poor little creature strapped to the board. The baby's dirty face was streaked with tears, and the white-blond hair on one side of his head was crusted with blood from where Sun-On-Wings had touched him.
While she gazed down at him, he cried out, a thin, sickly wail that tore at Tyler's heart. She laid the cradleboard in the grass and unlaced the leather thongs that held the baby inside the beaded buckskin. Very gently, she extricated the child and cuddled him close against her breast. He lay still against her, as if too tired to move.
"It's all right, you sweet little thing, I've got you. You'll be all right now," she murmured in a soft croon. Then, with tears gathering in her eyes at the thought of how he must have suffered, she snuggled him securely in her arms and followed the others back to the hacienda.
As soon as Sun-On-Wings was stretched out upon the bed, Windsor took the scissors Dona Maria had fetched and began to cut free the fringed leggings so that she could tend the gunshot wound.
"What happened to you, kid?" Stone asked, leaning close and helping Windsor gingerly peel away the bloody material.
"Where Carlos? Him sick. Him need Sun-On-Wings."
"Carlos is fine. Tyler's taking care of him. Did Clan do this to you?"
"No kill Clan. Him not with Carlos. Him ride away from mountains with many men and leave little man at house with woman. Sun-On-Wings take Carlos then."
"Who shot you?"
"Two men guard Carlos and woman," Sun-On-Wings answered, breathing heavily and wincing each time Windsor probed his leg. "Sun-On-Wings not hurt bad. Weak. Bleed much." He turned his face to Windsor. "Sun-On-Wings bring Jun-li and Yellow-Haired-Warrior-Woman's medicine sticks. The Evil One left them with Carlos and woman."
"You have my needles?" Windsor asked. "Where, Sun-On-Wings? I can use them to stop your pain."
His face contorted, Sun-On-Wings shifted his torso and pulled Windsor's black silk bag from where he had tied it at his waist. Windsor took it quickly and spread the contents across the bedside table, relieved to find it still contained all her precious possessions. She lifted the lid of the black lacquered box and took out three needles and the pouches containing the moxa with which she could cauterize the wound.
"This needs to be boiled in clean water. I'll dress the wound with it so it won't become irritated," she told Gray, thrusting one of the drawstring bags into his hands. Gray left the room with it, while Stone poured water into a bowl and began to dab at the blood and dirt surrounding the gaping gunshot hole in Sun-On-Wings' upper thigh.
"Sun-On-Wings want to kill Evil One, but could not follow with Carlos."
"Do you know where he went?" Stone demanded, bending closer to listen to Sun-On-Wings' hoarse words.
"Sun-On-Wings make woman tell. Him go to village on big river in north. Her call place Matamoros."
"Clan's in Matamoros?" Stone's voice went taut with intensity.
Sun-On-Wings nodded, and Windsor paused in her insertion of the needles to look at Stone. A cold feeling swept her skin at the look of determined hatred in his features. Now he would go, she thought with a sinking heart. But as Sun-On-Wings groaned, she bent again to her task, knowing she had to close the wound before her friend bled to death.
As she probed the deep laceration with her fingers, she began to relax. "The infection has not yet turned black, Sun-On-Wings. I will be able to help you. We must stitch your wound together, but first my needles will take the pain away."
With long-practiced expertise, she inserted the sharp pins in his arms, twirling them to heat and stimulate the flesh, both relieved and happy to have her young Osage friend safely with her again. She leaned close, brushing his hair from his forehead.
"Thank you, Sun-On-Wings. You are very brave and kind to bring Carlos back. I've been worried about you."
"Sun-On-Wings gave Nina sacred word. Little man not know father be Evil One."
Windsor nodded, cleaning his wound, then packing the newly stitched flesh with the moxa that Gray had returned to her. She held a candle flame to the soft, downy substance and let it smolder atop the skin.
"Tyler's tending to the baby," Gray told them. "The poor little boy was nearly starved, so she and Dona Maria are feeding milk to him down in the kitchen. I'll go and see if I can help."
As Gray left the room, Windsor dampened the moxa and wrapped clean bandages around Sun-On-Wings' leg. The young man now slept in exhaustion, and she gazed down on him fondly, her heart lighter than it had been for some time. But then she turned and found Stone near the wardrobe, strapping on his gun belt.
As he finished tying down his holster, he opened his arms to her. Without a word she went into his embrace.
"Must you do this?" she asked, but she already knew the answer.
"You know I do."
"I'm afraid for you. He is a demon."
"He's no demon. He's a man who doesn't deserve to live among civilized people."
Windsor bit her lip. Once, she had been as determined as Stone to kill Clan. Even now she longed to go along, to help the man she loved in his quest for vengeance. But she would not endanger the life growing inside her for want of revenge.
"Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love," she murmured, her heart full of fear.
"Not this time," Stone muttered. "Not with him."
Windsor laid her head against the soft white linen of his shirt. He was so strong, his heartbeat so steady beneath her cheek. "Come back to me, Stone Kincaid. I cannot go on without you."
Stone held her away from him, but his face was hardened with somber lines of resolve. "You'll be safe here until I return. Promise me you won't come after me. I have to do this alone."
"I promise," she whispered, though her mind rebelled at letting him go. She locked her arms around his waist, afraid that if he walked out of the room this time, she would never see him again. But she also knew she had no choice except to let him go.
He would come back. He had to.
29
Bracing the padded end of his crutch under one arm, Sun-On-Wings leaned heavily upon it as he limped painfully across the patio to where Yellow-Haired-Warrior-Woman sat outside on a stone bench, her gaze fixed upon the strange water hole the white man had built where water poured down like rapids in a mountain stream. Since Arrow-Parts-Hair had left the big house to kill the Evil One, she had often sat there with Jun-li, staring into the shallow pool.
Slowly he moved toward her, dragging his leg slightly, still unable to put much weight on his foot. Even now when he was so much better, each step razored pain from the ragged bullet hole in his thigh down his calf to his foot.
Despite the constant dull ache that plagued him, the wound was healing well. He had returned with Carlos only ten suns ago, but the strange silver sticks that Yellow-Haired-Warrior-Woman had pricked into his skin and the leafy substance she had burned upon his flesh had worked their magic and made him better. He would soon regain the strength in his leg, and then he would make the long journey back to his people. He was tired of being with the white man.
As he drew near to Yellow-Haired-Warrior-Woman, she heard the scrape of his crutch and was roused from her pensive mood. Her face set in serious lines, she immediately slid to one side of the seat, welcoming him to join her. Jun-li jumped upon his shoulder, and as Sun-On-Wings maneuvered his leg into position and eased down beside her, he looked sadly at her short golden hair, still finding the sight difficult to accept, even after so long. He missed the woven braid of shiny yellow hair that had swung against her back the first time he had seen her. Even more strange to see, her slim body was now swollen with child. She worries much for Arrow-Parts-Hair, he thought. Sad songs dwelt deep in the dark blue of her eyes.
"Arrow-Parts-Hair brave warrior. Him return soon," he said in a low voice, trying to console her.
"I know," she answered. "But I wish we were with him, in case he should need help."
Silence prevailed for a few moments while both of them stared thoughtfully into the tinkling jets of water. Sun-On-Wings remembered Emerson Clan's face and the evil acts he enjoyed. In the pictures of his mind, he saw Nina's tortured back. He knew that Yellow-Haired-Warrior-Woman suffered from the same frightening thoughts of what could happen to Arrow-Parts-Hair.
"Sun-On-Wings go home as soon as Arrow-Parts-Hair come. No like way of white man. Bad medicine. Sun-On-Wings go to mountains where Little Ones sing at dawn. Man named Tomas say he will take me to north to river between Mexico and land of the Little Ones."
Yellow-Haired-Warrior-Woman turned quickly as if surprised. "I'll miss you, Sun-On-Wings," she said, her eyes earnest, "and so will Stone Kincaid. You're like a brother to us."
"Sun-On-Wings feel honor to be brother. Yellow-Haired-Warrior-Woman someday be Arrow-Parts-Hair's woman, then him be happy."
She looked down at her lap, twisting the bright braid that edged the neckline of her loose top. "I cannot, Sun-On-Wings. Not until my baby is born."
"Baby be Arrow-Parts-Hair's son."
"I ask the gods for that every day and every night," she replied softly.
Sun-On-Wings could easily read the uncertainty in her eyes. He spoke swiftly and with resolve. "Wah-Kon-Dah make him son of Arrow-Parts-Hair, Sun-On-Wings know."
"If that comes true, then I will gladly marry Stone Kincaid," she said. "I wish you could stay. I'll miss you."
"Go soon. Tired of white man's world."
"I will never forget you."
"Arrow-Parts-Hair and Yellow-Haired-Warrior-Woman live in Little Ones' legends. Me tell to children when winter make the mountains white."
"I think you will be the one to live in the legends of your people, Sun-On-Wings. Someday you will become the great chief whose destiny was revealed to White-Spotted-Wolf in his dream sleep."
Sun-On-Wings wondered if she could be right. Whether she was or not, he would leave as soon as he could. He hungered for the simple, good life of the Little Ones.
Across the patio, he caught sight of the white woman who was called Tyler. She moved from beneath the covered portico with Carlos propped on one arm. While he watched, she cuddled the child against her shoulder, kissing his cheek and brushing her fingers through his blond hair.
"Woman named Tyler like Carlos," he commented, returning his attention to Yellow-Haired-Warrior-Woman. "Her no care that Evil One his father."
"No, she wouldn't. She lost a child of her own not long ago. She still grieves for him, so having Carlos here is good for her."
"Me give Carlos to Tyler woman. Me no can take white child back to village. Carlos no belong there. Him belong with own people."
Yellow-Haired-Warrior-Woman smiled. "She would like that very much, Sun-On-Wings, and I can promise you that Tyler and her husband, Gray, will treat him as their very own son. They already do. Carlos will grow up well loved. Nina would like that."
Deep inside, Sun-On-Wings felt a terrible stab of loss. The white baby was a brave little man. Sun-On-Wings loved him, but he knew he should not take him back to the mountains. The Little Ones would welcome him into their clan, but Carlos belonged with others of white skin and pale eyes. Across the grassy lawn, Tyler Kincaid looked up from her bench seat and saw them. She smiled and waved.
"Why don't you go tell her, Sun-On-Wings? She's been worried that you might decide to leave soon and take Carlos with you."
Sun-On-Wings nodded, then pushed himself upright, taking time to position his crutch. Leaving Jun-li behind, he made his way toward Tyler Kin-caid. When she saw him approaching, she stood to welcome him.
"Hello, Sun-On-Wings," she greeted, wearing the warm smile she always had for him. She turned Carlos around in her arms until he faced Sun-On-Wings. The baby grinned in delight and reached out his arms. "I do believe Carlos is glad to see you," Tyler noted with a laugh. "Here, we'll sit down so your leg will be more comfortable," she invited, perching on one end of the garden bench.
Sun-On-Wings sat beside her, straightening out his leg and propping his crutch against the seat. He grasped the little boy's hand. Carlos gurgled and laughed, his small fingers tightening around Sun-On-Wings' thumb.
"I think he wants you to hold him," Tyler said, immediately offering up the child to him.
Sun-On-Wings took the baby in his arms, and Carlos immediately grabbed a hunk of Sun-On-Wings' hair, which had grown long all over his scalp since he had left his tribe. The babe jerked it, and Tyler protested with a laugh, trying to disentangle his tight hold. When the child heard her soft voice, he twisted in Sun-On-Wings' arms and reached for Tyler again, his little face screwing up in readiness for a loud yowl.
"Him want you," Sun-On-Wings said, quickly handing the little man back to the white woman. Tyler smiled as she took him, her voice as gentle as her strokes upon the child's back. Tyler looked at Carlos the same way Nina had looked at him, with the wonder and love of a mother a
glow inside her eyes.
"Him think you his mother now," Sun-On-Wings told her, watching as she hugged the baby close again. "Him like you."
"That's because I'm the one who takes care of him most of the time," Tyler murmured in reply, pressing her lips to Carlos's head. "He's a little angel, so good that he's no trouble at all. Isn't that right, my little sweetheart?"
"Sun-On-Wings think you be Carlos's mother when Sun-On-Wings go back to Little Ones."
Tyler's gaze flew to him. She gasped with surprise. "Why, I assumed you would take him with you, or that Stone and Windsor would want him—"
"Him son of white man. Him belong with white man. You be better mother. His father hurt Yellow-Haired-Warrior-Woman. Her not forget easy. Arrow-Parts-Hair hunt down father to kill. Him too full of hatred to forget. Carlos better if him with you and white man name Gray."
Her eyes glittering with a sheen of tears, Tyler looked down into Carlos's upturned face.
"Oh, Sun-On-Wings, thank you. I do love this little boy so much. And so does Gray. From the first moment I saw Carlos, so dirty and tired, his hair all caked with blood, my heart went out to him."
Sun-On-Wings nodded. "Me know. Him nice little man. His mother much like you."
"Are you sure you want to give him up like this? I can see how much you care for him." Tyler's eyes were troubled. "I know how hard it is to let a child go."
"Carlos little. Him need mother."
Tyler withdrew a handkerchief from her sleeve and dabbed the corners of her eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying like this, but I'm just so happy. I thought I'd have to give him up, and I didn't think I could bear it." Sun-On-Wings waited patiently as she struggled to get hold of her feelings. Finally, she took a deep breath and gave him a tremulous smile. "Would you mind if I go tell Gray? It's just such wonderful news. He's been worried that I was getting too attached to Carlos."
Sun-On-Wings nodded, and Tyler put her arm around his neck and gave him a quick hug before she hurried away with Carlos. His own heart felt heavy, for he thought that once he left the hacienda, he would probably not see the small man-child again, not for many winters. But Carlos would be better off with the pretty woman with the red-brown hair. And Sun-On-Wings would be better with his own people. As soon as Arrow-Parts-Hair returned, he would make the long journey back to the snowcapped mountains far to the north. He hoped that day would come soon. He had been gone long enough.