David: It was …
Martin: I know the answer. I wanted you to ask yourself the question. In the meantime, try to do some relaxation exercises on your thighs and back.
David: Thanks again.
David said, “Yes, Andrea.”
Andrea said, “And when that rabbit ran across the path in front of us …”
***
The next weekend, Andrea brought David to a nearby round-dance workshop. David rented two rooms at the hotel. David feigned complete ignorance of round dancing and was constantly chided by Andrea for his clumsiness. On the second day, David allowed himself to show moderate improvement, making only three times the blunders as Andrea. The other couples complemented David on his tremendous improvement.
On returning to her dormitory, Andrea allowed David to kiss her on the lips before she went upstairs. David tried to thrust his tongue into her mouth. She choked and pulled away, saying, “You must never, ever kiss me, unless I give you permission. Never. Especially using your tongue. That was disgusting. Now, two weeks from Thursday, we’re going to visit my parents for their Thanksgiving Dinner. You have to be exceptionally gracious to my father. And you’re going to use the knives, forks and napkins, like I showed you. And no using ‘poopy, doody, or any other dirty words.” She had never invited him, nor asked him if he were available, it was assumed.
***
David returned to his room in time for a Rocky Horror Picture Show. He wore a vest over a sweatshirt. The sweatshirt said, ‘Give yourself over to absolute pleasure’, a quote from the show. As before, Charlie, David and Phyllis were left to clean up. Phyllis was dressed in her leather dominatrix outfit. Phyllis walked up to David, and raised his head with her crop. “You know kiddo, I’m glad you joined the group. You’re really cute and funny.” She then walked back to her vacuum and continued to clean up. Although their sounds were hidden by the three vacuums, Charlie mouthed, “I think she likes you,” and gestured toward Phyllis, who wasn’t paying attention.
At the pizza joint, Phyllis made a point to sit next to David on the long bench. David felt their thighs often touch, although Phyllis seemed oblivious about it. David by now had learned to limit his beer intake to two or three glasses a night. Nevertheless, David led the group by mimicking various Rocky Horror Picture Show voices. Others enjoyed taking turns singing counterpoint; they also attempted to mimic a voice. They challenged each other with some Rocky Horror Picture Show trivia. David allowed himself to lose. At one point, one of the guys, Kenny, asked if David could answer using Professor Gibson’s voice. David took some of the mannerism and voice tempo and exaggerated Gibson’s mannerisms by a factor of 2.5. “The di-rect-tor,” David paused and looked over his make-believe reading glasses, “Jim Sharman. Hmmm, do you have that class?” The entire group broke up laughing. David then adopted the sound and mannerisms of his psychology professor McNair and his English professor Doyle. David finished up with an imitation of Charlie. Everyone was in stitches except for Charlie who kept on saying “I don’t sound like that. Do I sound like that?”
The party broke up at 3 AM and they returned to campus. After they parked, Phyllis put her hand on his and asked, “David could you walk me to my dormitory, it’s past three and everything was so dark.” As they got to the side door of the dormitory, Phyllis used her college ID to gain entry, and then said, “You better walk me upstairs too.” At the door, she used her ID again, took David’s hand and led him inside. He slept the night there. David first learned that Phyllis did not actually have long black hair and long eyelashes. She was a shorthaired brunette, with natural red highlights. Her voluptuous figure was real though.
The next morning, while still in bed, Phyllis asked about David’s computer and wires. David said, “I need them to function. It’s not contagious, don’t worry. It’s a condition I have. Without it I’d be like a vegetable.”
She looked at it, without touching it, “It looks like a computer, are those USB-2 ports and is that WiFi?”
David said, “It functions like a computer and it’s a very heavily modified USB. You know a lot, are you a Computer Sci major?”
Phyllis smiled, “No silly, I do use computers all the time though. I’ve owned three up to now. I even built this rig myself.” Phyllis pointed to a computer under her desk. “It’s a MSI K8N Neo4/SLI mobo running an Athlon 64 X2 6400+ with quad 450 Gig hard drives using RAID-0/1.”
David looked into her eyes and said, “I think I’m in love.”
Phyllis smiled, and then looked under the blanket, “Nope, its lust.”
By the time David returned to his room, his computer battery was nearing the 17% level. He spent the next four hours lying in his own bed, while his battery recharged. At around 1 PM he heard his phone ring, caller-id said it was Andrea, he let it ring. He replayed the previous evening 1,327 times. David was smiling.
On the 243rd replay, David noticed that Phyllis had a momentary wistful frown on her face as she stared at him before they had sex. Afterwards she also had an odd unhappy look. ‘How could I have missed that before? I should ask her about it. Perhaps she was also prone to headaches, like Andrea.’
***
David was in his room, when Charlie entered the suite. “Charlie, got a second?”
David left his room and went into the small, shared study room and sat down in one of the chairs. ‘This was going to be hard, very hard,’ he thought.
Charlie entered and looked at David’s face. “What’s wrong roomy?”
“I’m not sure of this, but in a large number of flicks if a guy, does things to his friend’s girl. It usually ends up with one being punched out. And I don’t want to hurt you, Charlie.”
Charlie broke out in a huge grin that suddenly became an angry scowl. Charlie’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared. “You mean you’ve been messing with my Phyllis. My Phyllis? You’ve been watching the wrong films, amigo. In my country, they don’t get into fights, they get charged with murder.” In a slow monotone voice, Charlie said, “I’m gonna kill you David.”
David melted into the chair. Hilda was instantly between them, baring her teeth and growling menacingly.
“I’m gonna kill you David.” Charlie repeated. He glared at David. “She was my woman, and you took her from me.” Charlie had a wicked grin. “I’m gonna kill you. Slowly rip your heart out. Pull your guts outta my teeth. Crush your skull and feel your brain oozing between my fingertips. I’m gonna kill you David.” Charlie looked at his finger tips, as if they were holding a pulsating brain oozing between clenched fingers.
“Charlie, please, NO.”
Charlie broke into a fit of laughter. “You should have seen your face. It was priceless. Priceless. I’m sorry, I had to do it.” He broke out into more laugher, went into the minifrige and pulled out a carton of apple juice, which he drank out of the container. His laughter slowly died away and Charlie looked at David. “I’m sorry, man. I had to do that. Ha ha ha. Yeah, Phyllis and I were a number, once. It lasted a couple of months. Then she flitted to another guy, and another, and another. I really like Phil. She’s still a good friend. We’re now free to talk about anything, including my latest girlfriends. I guess we had to work out the sex part. Maybe that’s why she and I can be friends. But that romance part is long over.”
Charlie continued, “Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this, but she’s tasted the nectar of many flowers.”
“But I thought...”
“You were her only? Sorry man, but she doesn’t want to get too involved. I think it’s because her parents were divorced, or something. That’s just a guess. Hey, I’m no psych major. She never talked about her parents, family, or anything before coming here, never. That’s her one major hang-up. Bring it up and she’ll get angry, real angry. I mean it.”
“But I thought she really liked me.”
“She does. But she’s going to be g
raduating next term, and you’ve just started your freshman year. Enjoy yourself. Carpe Diem. She’s but one fish in the sea. There will be others. Enjoy yourself. If you’re lucky, real lucky, she’ll become a great friend.”
***
David and Phyllis were meeting daily, briefly at lunch, then dinner, then at ten PM. David looked forward to all three times. Thanksgiving was spent at her dorm room eating a turkey breast, which they were able to fit into the dorm microwave. David made the stuffing (with the assistance of Le Chef).
***
While walking back from a bi-weekly four hour session with Professor Schwartzman, David was stopped by one of the boys who teased him from Professor Doyle’s Psychology class, Myron.
Myron said, “Hold up David.”
David paused frowning. Hesitantly he said, “Yes?”
Myron asked, “I didn’t see you in Psych or History lately.”
“I placed out of them. I took the final and passed.”
Myron smirked, “So, you too smart for the class?”
“Actually after you and the other guys teased me so much I had to get out of the classes. I cried the next two days. I almost dropped out of school altogether. My advisor convinced me to stay. As for being too smart, that wasn’t the issue. I read all the material for the class ahead of time and also looked at the suggested readings.”
“So, are you still in school?”
David said, “I’m taking a bunch of independent study classes. So, unless you need to tease me more about enjoying learning things, I should go.” David continued walking.
David thought about what Windseig said. How Myron and his friends were ‘immature little kids’ and how David was socializing quite rapidly. He also remembered how Windseig said not to respond by calling names but to honestly relate his feelings if confronted. Seeing the frown on Myron’s face through one of his baubles on his back made David feel slightly better.
***
At noon on a Tuesday after Thanksgiving, Phyllis took them to a secluded table in the cafeteria. She was quiet during the mean. Finally she looked into David’s eyes and said, “You know David, I get the feeling you’re getting serious. At this time in my life, I’m only willing to make friends and acquaintances, not lovers, or anything more serious. We’re both free to date. You could say that we’re friends with benefits. I really don’t want any more commitment than that right now, although I do find you incredibly interesting.”
David thought, ‘Oh no, she’s giving me the brush-off. Just like Charlie said. It’s not immediate. I really like her. This girl is perfect for me right now. I don’t want anything long term. But why? Did I do something wrong again? What did I do? I can fix it. I’ll tell her I can fix it!’ David looked up and met her gaze, “Why?”
Phyllis was obviously lost in thoughts, when she realized what he had said, “Oh, it’s not you, silly. And yes, I’m very happy in bed with you. In case that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Is it my age?”
Phyllis looked a bit uncomfortable, “Initially I was hesitant. I thought when we first met that you were some young immature kid, but you’ve grown. Then I thought that the five-year difference in ages would be a problem, but your taste in music is, if anything far broader than mine. And you hate hip-hop.” Phyllis smiled. “But things change, people change, I mean, for example, I’ll be graduating in about 7 months. And you just started college.”
David thought, ‘Something else is bothering her. But I need her. Think cool. What would the guys on TV say.’ He said, “I’m ecstatic in being your friend. If you want to hang out with older, more intellectual guys, that’s ok with me, as long as we remain good friends. I enjoy your company.”
Phyllis’ mouth opened and her eyes widened in surprise; she eventually reached out and held his hand between hers. She let her fingers intertwine with his. “You’ve got to be kidding, more intellectual guys?” She paused a second looking deep into his eyes, then said, “No, you’re not kidding. Listen Kiddo, do you remember last Friday night, after we saw the Bergman’s film festival? How we were up until five in the morning talking about what he was doing? What the films represented. You made me open my mind in so many ways. No one, NO ONE I’ve ever met had such deep insights as you. And”
At this point, they both became aware of another figure standing near the table. Andrea.
Andrea pouted, “I’ve been having a problem getting a hold of you David. You weren’t answering your phone or my e-mails, and you weren’t in class for the last two weeks and missed three assignments. You stood me up for Thanksgiving. I thought you might be interested in going …”
David stopped her mid-sentence. He initially tried to sit up and pull his hands free, but Phyllis held on. David finally said, “Actually I was not interested in going. And you actually never asked me if I wanted to go with you to meet your parents. I never said I would. I, I felt like I was a trophy, a thing-a-ma-bob which you were going to display. I guess I should have told you outright, but, but I wasn’t enjoying myself on our dates. The way you talked to me, the way you treated me. I didn’t think you cared much for me either. I mean you never even asked how I was doing after your horse ride when I had to walk back. And at the round dance you treated me like a, a, a fool. You were laughing at me. You teased me for not knowing how to dance. It was the first time I ever went to a round dance.”
Andrea looked at Phyllis. With a sneer she said, “And is this your new friend?”
Phyllis freed her right hand, then held it out, palm down and said, “Actually good old friend. I met him on the Sunday before the first day at school. My name is Phyllis Marks.” She smiled at both David and Andrea. “And your name is?”
Hilda moved between Andrea and David, and quietly showing her fangs.
David said quietly, “Not now Hilda.” Hilda stopped showing her fangs and sat there. It was obvious that the dog was ready to spring.
Andrea never answered Phyllis’ question and let Phyllis’ hand remain outstretched. Eventually Phyllis retracted it.
“Oh, I get it. He left me because you showed him a better tiiiime.”
Phyllis smiled, “Do you mean sex? You can say it.” Phyllis paused. “Well maybe you can’t. However, yes, the sex part was great, the best lover I ever had. Like everywhere else, he learns fast, remembers everything, and has a, …, a remarkable ability to focus on things for a very long time.” Phyllis had a very broad smile. “Obviously from the way you talked, despite going out a number of times you ignored many aspects of him?” Phyllis put her hand back onto David’s, “David did you get intimate with her?”
David looked up pursing his lips, “Yes, I twice kissed her on the lips and she kissed me on the cheek or forehead 15 times.”
Andrea looked aghast, “You counted?”
David started to speak but Phyllis squeezed his hand and said, “Sister, don’t you know anything about David? Weren’t you paying the least amount of attention to him? Let me explain it to you slowly.” Phyllis spoke very slowly. “He has a photographic memory. He’s a guy. Did you notice either? Of course, he would count. Pho- to- gra- phic Mem- o- ry? David, I’m not going to embarrass you, just shake your head yes or no. Did you ever think about how few kisses she allowed you on the lips?” Dave shook his head yes while looking down. Phyllis then asked, “Did you ever compute the ratio of kisses to dates?” David again shook his head yes. “David, did you think you did something wrong?” David nodded avoiding both Phyllis’ and Andrea’s face. Facing David, Phyllis held his hands even tighter and said, “Well, you didn’t do anything wrong. It wasn’t you.”
Phyllis continued looking directly at Andrea, “You never got to know David. But to answer your question, yes, obviously we have a better time. I treated him as an equal. We were just continuing a discussion of Bergman’s symbolism in his Seventh Seal. Did you ever discuss that with him?
David has some brilliant insights. You should hear his opinions on Johnny Darko. Or didn’t you notice his different dimensions? I’ve grown intellectually since knowing him. Actually, he’s one of the most self-effacing men I’ve ever met, and one of the funniest. You have to pull it out of him, but his thoughts on any topic, from modern dance to futurism have me lying in bed for hours, lost in thought. Once you get past his obvious youth, he’s also a genuine man. A man’s man. And like I implied before he has incredible st…, ah, let’s just say, he’s incredible in bed. He’s a huge diamond, still covered in coal dust. But obviously David is not interested in being with you. In fact, from the way David puts it, and I’ve noticed that he never lies; you’re really not interested in him as a person. So why don’t you leave.” Phyllis paused, and then said, “Now.”
Andrea looked first at Phyllis then at David. She stood there looking at David, expecting him to say something. He sat there. David looked initially at Andrea, and then looked down. When he didn’t say anything, she turned on her heels and left.
Over her shoulder Andrea said, “At least I was the one who kissed him first. Not you.”
Phyllis laughed, “You silly little teen. It’s not who kisses them first, but who kisses them last. And speaking of Thanksgiving, what do you remember, the crudités or the turkey with its trimmings?”
Andrea smirk turned into a frown as she continued walking.
When Andrea was out of sight, David turned to Phyllis, “I’m sorry, I should have taken one of her calls. I thought she’d get the hint.”
“Sounds like she had a number of issues. Frigid. Bitch. Man-hater. I hated being cruel, but a swift cruel break is a clean break. I doubt she’ll bother you again. How many dates were you on?”
“If you count study breaks, lunches, dinners, and her homework sessions, 53.”
Phyllis sighed. “Do you mind not seeing her?”
David said, “I’d rather see you.” He sounded melancholy, David then brightened. “Good friend? Best lover? Funniest men? Brilliant insights? Genuine man?”
“Despite the veracity of everything I said, don’t let it go to your head. Oh no, I’m late.” Phyllis smiled and stood. “Listen kiddo, I have class in 5 minutes. I’ll see you for dinner?” She touched his cheek with her fingertips, stood, and left.
The Infinite when it was Two Digits Old Page 7