by Susan Stoker
“John!” she called out in surprise and ecstasy.
“That’s it, Em. Take it.”
She felt his mouth latch onto her nipple one last time, which pushed another tremble through her body. Her heart was beating double time and she felt as if she’d just sprinted a mile. Too self-conscious to open her eyes, Quinn felt John’s grip on her wrist relax and she pulled her hand out of her pants.
Before she could do anything else, she felt John’s mouth close around her fingers.
Her eyes popped open, and she watched as he licked her fingers clean. The reverence on his face easy to see as he tasted her for the first time. Then he moved until he was on his side and pulled her with him.
They remained on the floor, with John on his back and Quinn half on the floor, half on John. Her bra was still shoved under her boobs and her pants were still undone. John’s dick was still hard, and he had to be uncomfortable with his wet jeans. But Quinn couldn’t make herself move.
Now she was tired. Exhausted. It was as if the climax had stolen any energy she’d once had. She didn’t even care that she was practically naked from the waist up.
“Mmmm,” she mumbled, feeling as if she should say something.
“Shhh,” John murmured.
She could do that. Quinn shut her eyes and completely relaxed. She knew it wouldn’t matter if she fell asleep; John would get her up off the floor and into bed.
That ball of hope in her belly had grown bigger than ever before. And that scared the hell out of her. Quinn had no idea what she’d do if John decided she ultimately wasn’t worth the effort.
But for now, she was going to hang on and enjoy the ride.
Chapter Nine
“Can you believe those idiots?” Autumn bitched as she entered the lab a week later.
Tory, Quinn, and Sophie were already inside and getting ready to start their morning.
“Right?” Tory said. “I’m glad they aren’t allowed on this side of the street. They were kind of scary.”
“They were definitely a bit intense, weren’t they?” Sophie asked.
Quinn shivered, remembering the things the men and women yelled as she’d walked from the parking garage down the street to the Burn Center Annex. There’d been around ten people, all holding signs portending doom and encouraging people to turn to God to be saved.
It was definitely odd that it seemed every time she turned around, someone was trying to shove religious ideology in her face. From the fliers at her apartment and at the fire station, and now this group at her work? In her life, she’d had more than her fair share of people telling her to find God because of the mark on her face, but lately it seemed as if everywhere she went, religion was being forced down her throat.
“Can’t security do anything about them?” Autumn asked. “They’ve been here every day this week. Talking about judgement day and telling us we’re all going to Hell and babbling about consorting with the devil.”
“I know s-someone who’s been doing s-some consorting,” Sophie quipped, wiggling her eyebrows in Quinn’s direction and successfully changing the subject.
Quinn could only laugh. She’d been waiting for this since the first day she came to work after spending the night with John. She was honestly surprised Sophie had controlled herself for this long.
“Happily consorting,” she agreed, smiling broadly.
Sophie made a weird squeaking noise in the back of her throat. “S-Spill!” she demanded.
Quinn shrugged. “John’s been so great. When he’s not working, I’ve been staying at his place.”
“Shut up!” Tory exclaimed. “You’ve moved in?”
“Well, no. But ever since Willard showed up in the mailroom and stared at me when John was there, he doesn’t like me being at my apartment. And honestly, that’s okay with me.”
“But you s-stay at home when he’s working?” Sophie asked.
“Yeah. But once I’m in my apartment, I’m in. And John texts me on and off all evening and first thing in the morning. Other than Willard, I don’t feel unsafe there. I think John’s blowing things out of proportion. I was perfectly fine before we started dating. I don’t know what he thinks…maybe just because we’re now dating, I can’t take care of myself?”
“But you said yourself that Willard creeps you out,” Autumn noted. “Has that changed?”
“Well, no. But it’s a little frustrating that John doesn’t seem to think I can keep myself safe. I’m always careful to check to see who’s at my door before I answer it—not that anyone ever knocks on my door. I carry my keys in my hand with that sharp pokey thing around my knuckles. I have that emergency ladder so I can get out if I need to. In other words, I’m completely able to take care of myself.”
“Be honest, Quinn, when you s-stay at his place, you s-sleep better, don’t you?” Sophie asked.
Sighing, Quinn could only nod. “Yeah.”
“I was the s-same way. When Roman works, I’m not afraid to be in our house by m-myself. But there’s just s-something about having another person there that’s comforting. And the fact that it’s Roman m-makes m-me feel even m-more s-safe.”
“It’s the same with me. Why is that? I mean, we’re grown-up, competent adults. I’ve never been worried about anyone breaking in or someone doing something awful to me before. But late at night, when I’m in my bed and I’ve just hung up from talking with John, every little noise has me tensing. It’s crazy.”
“I don’t know, but if you figure it out, let m-me know,” Sophie said wryly.
“And… No, never mind,” Quinn said.
“What?” Sophie asked.
“Nothing.”
“Spit it out,” Autumn ordered. “You know this is a no-secret zone.” She twirled her finger in a circle indicating the space the four of them were sitting in.
“Fine. What happens if we break up? Will I go back to my invincible attitude, or will I be all shaky and scared all the time? Because that would suck.”
“Are you thinking about breaking up with him?” Tory asked.
“No!” Quinn exclaimed. “I’m just thinking out loud.”
“That’s your problem,” Sophie said wisely. “You can’t predict the future. Don’t borrow trouble. You s-said things were good between you guys, right?”
“Right.”
“Then why think negatively?”
Quinn sighed. “Everywhere I go, I’m gawked at. Just the other day he had to give two gas station employees a verbal tongue lashing for staring at me. I know how tired I am of it, and I’ve lived with it my entire life. I’m just afraid he’s going to wake up one day and wonder what the hell he’s doing. Being with someone else would be a hell of a lot easier for him, that’s for sure.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” Autumn said. “Look, I’m not saying I know what you’ve been through, I don’t. But it sounds to me like you’re just making excuses now. Like you’re giving yourself excuses as to why he’ll break up with you even before he does it…if only to protect your heart. Quit it. Honestly, Quinn, this guy has liked you for ages. He’s a grown man. It’s not like he didn’t know what he was getting into before he declared you were dating. You need to let him in. All the way in. Trust him.”
Quinn bit her lip. Then looked at her three friends. “Everyone in my entire life has let me down…except for you guys. Every time I’ve decided to fully trust someone, I ended up being disappointed and hurt. And that’s gone for families I thought I finally fit in with, friends at school, boys I dated…I’m not sure I know how to trust John wholeheartedly.”
“Then you need to figure it out,” Autumn retorted unsympathetically. “Quinn, I love you, but you’re twenty-eight years old. You’re not a kid anymore. People are assholes, there’s no doubt about it, but John isn’t one of them. Think about it this way…what do you think could happen if you did open yourself up all the way to him?”
Quinn stared at her friend.
“Did you ever think that maybe everything you’d eve
r yearned for in life could be right there, yours for the pickin’?”
Quinn blinked. No. She hadn’t thought about that. She’d been so busy trying to protect her heart from being hurt again. She’d held a part of herself back from John because she was half waiting for the other shoe to drop. For him to tell her that she was too much effort. That he didn’t like the attention she drew when they went out.
But John hadn’t given her any indication that he was that kind of man. Not even before they’d started dating. He’d been nothing but attentive and concerned about her. In all the months she’d known him, he’d never made her feel as if she was a burden or an embarrassment to him.
“You’re right,” she whispered.
“I know,” Autumn said smugly. “Question is, what are you going to do about it?”
“S-She’s going to continue to be the m-most awesomest girlfriend Driftwood’s ever had,” Sophie said. “Right?”
“Right,” Quinn agreed, ready to be out of the hot seat, even if Autumn was correct.
The conversation turned to the cases they were working on and how the latest burn victims were healing. As she worked, and the others chatted, Quinn reflected on her life.
Yeah, she’d had a hell of a childhood. Kids were cruel, and not having a stable or loving home life to help her deal with the taunts and teasing had been hard. She’d had no one to rely on but herself for practically her entire life.
But John had been there for her since they’d met. Calling out people who were intentionally or unintentionally being rude. Knowing he was only a text or a call away when she needed to vent, or if she wanted to share with him something good that had happened, was pretty wonderful. But what had she done for him?
Quinn realized suddenly that he was giving way more than he got in their relationship.
Oh, she knew he wouldn’t look at it that way, but she made a vow right then and there to do her best to let down her shields that she’d always kept in place to protect herself. She didn’t need to protect herself from John. He’d continue to treat her with care.
But she needed to treat him with care too. Show him that she appreciated him. That she was proud of him. She hadn’t done enough of that lately. Starting today, that was going to change.
Driftwood pulled into his driveway, thrilled to see Quinn’s car parked there. He hadn’t expected her to already be at his house. He’d given her a key, but to his knowledge, she had yet to use it. There was something so…right…about coming home and knowing she was inside waiting on him.
The day had been hard. They’d been very busy, with hardly any time to stop and eat. From traffic accidents, to downed trees, to medical calls, they’d been going nonstop.
And right before his shift ended, they’d been called to a possible drowning.
A three-year-old little boy had gone outside when the family was busy and not paying attention and had fallen into their pool. By the time his mom had realized he was missing, he’d been in the water over five minutes.
Driftwood and Chief had done their best, though they both knew the child had little to no chance of survival. The paramedics had loaded him up in their ambulance, but things didn’t look good for the little boy.
Right before his shift was over, they’d gotten word that the boy had been pronounced dead at the hospital.
It wasn’t as if Driftwood hadn’t dealt with death before, he had, but for some reason, this case hit him harder than most. Maybe it was because the mom reminded him a little bit of Quinn. She had the same hair and was about the same height and build. The anguish and self-recrimination on her face was hard to witness.
Not bothering to pull his truck into the garage, Driftwood hopped out and headed for his front door.
The second he pushed it open, he smelled something delicious coming from his kitchen. Following the smell, he couldn’t help but smile when he saw Quinn leaning over looking into the stove.
“Hey,” he said quietly so as not to spook her.
She still jumped and spun around with one hand on her chest. “Oh! You scared me.”
“Sorry, Emmy. It smells delicious in here.”
She tilted her head and stared at him for a beat before walking toward him with a look he couldn’t interpret on her face. Quinn stepped close and put her arms around him. Her head rested on his shoulder and he felt her lips against his neck.
Sighing in contentment, Driftwood pulled her tighter into him and closed his eyes. She smelled like whatever she’d been cooking and her hair tickled his face. This wasn’t a sexual hug, it was a comforting hug. And man, did he need it right about now. Needed her.
They stood like that for a long moment. Driftwood eventually pulled back, but only far enough to see her face. “You okay?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yeah, but you looked like you could use a hug.”
“It was a tough day,” he told her.
“Can you talk about it?”
Driftwood nodded. “But not right now. Later. I’m starving, and whatever you’re making smells delicious.”
“It’s just a pork loin and potatoes. I was having a stare-down contest with the potatoes and losing. I’m not sure they’re going to be done in time.”
“We can take them out and stick them in the microwave to finish them off,” Driftwood told her.
Quinn sighed. “I know, but I didn’t want to have to resort to that.”
He chuckled. “Trust me, I’m not going to even notice. That’s how hungry I am.”
“Well, then, by all means, let’s get you fed.”
It took another thirty minutes for everything to be ready, but as soon as the food was plated, Driftwood dug in. It was one of the best meals he’d had in a long time. Not because of the food itself, which was good…but because of the company. He’d eaten dinner with Quinn before, but this meal felt different. He couldn’t put his finger on why, but something about her was different tonight. She seemed more relaxed or something.
They talked about her day at work and about the religious zealots who were gathered outside. She recounted how, after many complaints, hospital security had tried to get them to move on their way. When that didn’t work, the SAPD had to be called to get them to disperse. And then, of course, when she’d gone to her car at the end of the day, there had not only been religious fliers stuck under everyone’s windshield wipers, but also handwritten notes about going to Hell and resisting the devil added to the bottom of the one on her car, and a few others.
Driftwood wasn’t happy about the harassment, but he felt a little better knowing that the hospital officials weren’t thrilled either. They’d arranged for extra security in the garage for employees leaving and were going to be working with the local cops to make sure the protestors, whoever they were, didn’t get out of hand.
After they ate, they cleaned the kitchen together and then wandered into the living room. Driftwood sat on the couch and Quinn immediately snuggled into his side.
“Tell me about your day,” she said gently.
This was new for Driftwood. He’d never had someone to discuss work with before. Not like this. And he had absolutely no desire to keep anything from her.
Once he started talking, he couldn’t seem to stop. He told her about Penelope and how she’d been acting weird lately. Disconnected and not seeming happy to be at work. He talked about how hard it was to be polite to the guy who’d been completely smashed at one in the afternoon and had crashed into a minivan with a mom and two kids. He was fine, didn’t have a scratch on him, but the family had all been sent to the hospital.
He admitted he was having a hard time getting over the scene with the little boy and the pool. That every time he closed his eyes, he saw the anguish on the mother’s face. How pissed he was that the gate surrounding the pool hadn’t been locked.
“It was a mistake, I get that, but things could’ve been so different if someone had just noticed he’d snuck out of the house. Or if that gate had been locked. Or if someone had missed him earli
er. It was just so stupid. It didn’t have to happen. That little boy would be alive right now if a little more care had been taken.”
“Shhhh,” Quinn said and put her hand on his cheek as she leaned into him. “You did the best you could. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Sometimes things just happen. I’m not saying they shouldn’t have kept a better eye on him, but kids are curious. They get into things.”
Choking back a sob, Driftwood squeezed his eyes closed. He felt Quinn move until she was straddling him. She buried her nose into the side of his neck and forced her hands between his back and the couch. She held on tightly and gave him time to grieve.
Holding her, feeling her touch surrounding him, gave Driftwood the strength to keep the tears at bay. It wasn’t that he thought crying wasn’t manly or anything, he’d bawled his eyes out more than once after getting home and thinking about a heartbreaking call. It was the fact that she was there, supporting him, letting him talk things out. Feel however he needed to feel.
They sat like that for a long time. So long that Driftwood wondered if Quinn was still awake. He rubbed one hand up and down her back and turned his head just enough to kiss her temple.
“Better?” she asked softly.
“Yeah, Emmy. Thanks.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been taking so much and not giving back. I’m going to work on that.”
“What?”
She sat up and looked him in the eyes. “Throughout the entire time I’ve known you, you’ve always been the one to back me up. You haven’t hesitated to educate little kids when they stare a bit too long and you’ve never been ashamed or afraid to tell someone off when they say something rude. I haven’t even thought about what your job entails, or that you might need someone to stand up for you too…even if it’s only in private here in your home. I’m going to try to be better at that.”
Driftwood couldn’t help it; he burst out laughing.