Thorsten shook his head and refused to move. “Don’t leave. Please. I know what it’s like to be forced to become dark.”
His words pierced my core. I narrowed my eyes, but I could find no signs of lying on his face. Thorsten drew closer, and I let him. His hot breath caressed my neck. Instead of his usual suit, here wore an open leather jacket. A tight shirt revealed the outlines of his abs and pecs.
No. I would not fall for this again. I tore my gaze away from him and pushed past him, but he grabbed my hand and whirled me around, his blue eyes pleading.
“You might think this is the only way, but everything has consequences, especially the path that seems the easiest at first.” His words were low, but smooth. It wasn’t a threat, but rather a confession.
A mirthless chuckle escaped my throat. “Don’t act like you understand. I highly doubt you had to make the choice between being used for sex and blood, or becoming the hunter.”
He opened, then closed his mouth. “You’re right. My situation was different, but I also felt like I had no choice. Leonie...she needed me. I was the only one who could help her.”
I knew I should walk away, but I couldn’t help myself. “Who is Leonie?” A past lover?
Thorsten’s eyes darkened. “My sister. I grew up taking care of her. My mother wasn’t up for it, and father...let’s just say we were better off without him.”
Tension settled between my shoulder blades at what Thorsten was implying. “He was abusive?”
He stared off into the city for a moment. “He liked to drink, and he had a temper.”
“And your mother didn’t do anything?”
Anger flashed in Thorsten’s eyes. “It’s hard to do something when you’re constantly high out of your mind.”
Pressure settled on my chest. Thorsten was opening up to me. I nodded. “I still don’t understand how your family had anything to do with you becoming a vampire.”
He sighed. “I was the only protection Leonie ever had. I tried to distract Father from her.” A muscle ticked in his jaw, and his body hummed with tension. “I thought that all I had to protect her from were his fists and belt. I was so naive.”
Thorsten’s words acted like grenades, knocking out bricks of my wall and making my shield collapse. I didn’t want to feel empathy for him, yet I did. “What happened to your sister?”
“She started dating somebody I didn’t approve of.”
I raised an eyebrow, having the feeling that Thorsten wouldn’t have approved of anyone for his baby sister and preferred she stayed single until thirty.
“He was a drug dealer. They had a lot of fights, but always made up. After their latest one, he got a new car and convinced her to come for a spin.” Thorsten wiped a hand over his face. “He wasn’t sober. They crashed, and he died on impact. Her airbag malfunctioned. Otherwise, she should’ve been fine. She was rushed to the emergency room.”
I inhaled sharply.
“Griffin Steinberg showed up at the hospital. I recognized his face from the newspaper and became furious. He was the owner of the car brand and I was certain he was there to shut me up.” Thorsten shook his head. “I told him that my silence could not be bought with money and that every newspaper would find out about this.” He paused.
“But that’s not what he offered you.” I was hooked. I needed to hear the end.
“No, he pulled me aside and said that the crash wasn’t his fault and that I knew that. He said his blood could heal my sister, but I had to give him something in return, in addition to my silence.”
My throat was drier than the Sahara. “You had to become his heir.”
Thorsten’s eyes turned glassy as he lost himself to his memories. “Yes,” he said quietly.
“Did Steinberg heal her?”
His blue eyes shone as he locked his gaze with mine. “He did. Leonie awoke minutes later. It only took a bit of his powerful blood to do the trick. But I couldn’t see her after that. I wasn’t allowed. I had to vanish forever, and I haven’t seen my sister since. Maybe that’s for the best. If she sees the monster I’ve become—”
I wrapped my hands around me, feeling cold, even though the temperatures were in the low seventies. My body ached to touch him, my lips begged me to kiss his, but my mind told me to hold back. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t become a vampire for the money or the power. He had still played cruel games with me. “Why are you telling me this now?”
“I—” The sliding doors to the deck opened around the corner, spilling out excited chatter and laughter. Thorsten backed away. “I came to warn you. Olwen is as dangerous as my sire.” With that, he disappeared inside, leaving me no choice but to abandon the balcony as well and hurry to collect Atticus as the vamp on the ground groaned, coming to his senses.
Chapter 12
Miraculously, Atticus hadn’t noticed Thorsten with me on the balcony. I could thank the fae servant’s punishment for that. At least, that’s what I assumed since my guard didn’t bring it up. He only praised my performance with a nod and seemed satisfied that I had concluded the job so quickly and without drawing any attention.
The party continued, but we were able to slip out thanks to most of the vamps and the fae servants checking on the injured vamp on the balcony. We walked past the poor fae server passed out on the floor, forgotten like a piece of trash, but I didn’t dare to stop to see if she was still breathing. Peony had gone back to playing on the piano, and the vamp twins were nowhere to be seen.
Atticus and I descended the steps instead of taking the elevator just to be safe. No one came after us as we reached the car and drove off. Upon our return to the mansion, Atticus gave Olwen a summary of the events, and Olwen nodded his approval. He offered me a cold, businesslike smile from his position at the end of the ice table. “I will think of our next steps. Onyx, you may go.”
I nodded and backed out of the Solstice Room, leaving Atticus and Olwen behind. “Thank you.” I had passed the stealth test.
The next few days passed in a blur. I continued my training in the mornings and late afternoons while working on my glamour in between. In the evenings, I attended more vamp parties with Atticus. The vamps threw them often and had servants in every corner, which made it easy to blend in. The second party took place in a mansion, and the third, in a decked-out warehouse. On my third outing, I insisted on not using any disguise but just glamour, proud when I was able to maintain it the whole night even when I caught sight of my lecherous ex PE teacher at Nocturnal Academy.
Despite seeing a plethora of rich and influential vamps, I didn’t see Vulthus at any of the parties. As for my victims, I stuck to low-level guards who took off to take breaks and made for easy pickings.
Each time my heart raced, but not because of my task—no, knocking out stray vampires came almost too easy to me—but because I kept scanning the business vamps and the rowdy college crowd for the tall Viking. Thorsten wasn’t anywhere. He hadn’t returned. And even though I wanted to be furious with him and relieved that he was staying away from me, I instead felt sad for his situation and even sadder that I hadn’t seen him again. He had also once again managed to pique my curiosity.
Why open up to me and fight through magic to leave me that note? I wanted to write it off as more mind games, but I couldn’t. He had seemed so genuine. Or maybe I was being a fool, again.
By the fifth night, I was getting impatient both with Olwen for making me do this over and over, and with Thorsten for not coming back. As it was my night off, I had dinner at the mansion, then went to my bedroom and pretended to get ready for bed. But when the clock struck eleven, I slipped downstairs. By now I knew the guards’ routines and was able to avoid them successfully in the hallways. Atticus stayed up all night on Fridays, but he patrolled the outside of the mansion when he wasn’t going to parties with me. I descended into the cellar where I found the person I was looking for polishing silver at a long wooden table.
“Onyx?” Lily said my name as a question, as if she wasn
’t sure that I had meant to come here. She had bags under her eyes. She’d been working hard to impress Olwen.
“Lily.” I stepped closer, realizing I hadn’t thought this through. After ignoring her for weeks, I couldn’t just expect to come down here and for things to be back to normal.
Clearly, Lily was much better at this and also a much more forgiving person. She pointed at the chair opposite hers. “Join me.”
I sat down, staring at my hands.
“What’s on your mind?”
I exhaled. “I saw Thorsten.” Why was I telling her this?
She nodded and gave a tiny smile. “I knew he’d find you.”
I blinked. “You did? Why?” How, when I had no idea?
“Because when you’re in love you do reckless things.” A dreamy expression entered her face.
I snorted. “Nobody is in love here. Thorsten is…unstable. He plays games.”
She tilted her head. “Does he, or is he simply terrified of his feelings and vice versa?”
“No.” Unable to sit still, I paced the room. “This is bullshit. Thorsten and I barely know each other. We might be attracted to one another, but that’s it. It’s unhealthy.”
Lily gave me a half smile. “Is that why you can’t sleep?”
“I wasn’t tired.”
She moved to a silver bowl. “Yes, I’m sure your daily trainings and outings leave you with a lot of energy.”
I crossed my arms. Lily was still the same observant girl I’d known from school. “Thorsten isn’t good for me.”
Lily put down her silver. “I didn’t say that it was easy. I only said you two have very strong feelings for each other.”
Since I couldn’t exactly argue, I scowled. “It doesn’t matter. He’s a vamp. I’m a fae.”
“Yes, and yet, your paths keep crossing.” She went back to scrubbing.
I shook my head. I couldn’t think like that. I was not free to put love above all else. “I’m going to take a walk and clear my head of this nonsense.”
Wisely, Lily didn’t respond as I hurried back up the stairs and nearly ran into a guard patrolling down the hall. I stepped back and waited for the female fae to pass before slipping out through the back door and into the garden. Olwen had told me he didn’t want me outside after sunset, but his fortress and the surrounding area was protected by strong vamp repelling magic, so I was safe. And yet, Thorsten had managed to watch me and leave a note. Who else could make it up here and how? Was there a trick around the fae protection?
A shudder ran down my spine at the sight of the dark woods, but I didn’t retreat. I had scurried from place to place at Nocturnal Academy, but I was done being a mouse. I wasn’t helpless anymore. I was a fae princess of the Winter Court, a warrior, and I better start acting like one if I wanted to bring down Vulthus.
Being afraid of walking in my own garden would do me no good. I strolled past the first plaza and its ice statues and into the training area. Then I progressed to the pond, letting the moonlight guide me. Sitting down next to the pond, I tapped my foot on the smooth ice, studying the stars it reflected. It was so peaceful out here.
If I forgot everything and everyone—Vulthus, Olwen, Thorsten, Lily—and stayed in the moment, maybe I could feel peace too. Sadness descended onto me, because even as my mind quieted, I knew this was a brief reprieve. My life had improved in the sense that I was no longer running or hiding, but fighting back. Yet, this way of life meant always being in a warzone.
I wanted to enjoy nature and bask in life’s simple things. Ride a horse, see the Grand Canyon, do a cross country road trip. I wanted to do things that everyone thought were basic, like fall in love, have a boring, but safe relationship, have friends with normal problems. Not focus on survival all the time, play games, and be tangled up in endless machinations.
A twig crunched from my left. I tensed and snapped my gaze to it. My heart hammered, but not from fear, and I didn’t bother summoning an ice weapon. Even before I saw his blue eyes, I knew it was him. Slowly, he emerged from behind a pair of trees.
“How do you get up here?” I asked.
The corners of Thorsten’s lips ticked upward, and there was excitement and pride in his face, yet also hesitation.
“The only way up is to fly,” I continued. “Can you fly, Thorsten?” He shouldn’t be able to, given how newly made he was, and yet, I had seen stranger things. “Can you?” This was his final chance. If he wanted me to trust him, he had to trust me. Fully. No more hiding. No more secrets.
“Yes, I’ve been working on my flying.”
I nodded, warmth blooming in my chest. Maybe things could really be different now that I was out of Nocturnal Academy. “Do you still work for Lady Cardinal?”
He shook his head. “My contract is over. I’m living with Griffin now and running errands for him.”
“Am I one of your errands?”
He sat down on the boulder next to me, so close that his scent of bergamot and sandalwood enveloped me. Earthy with a hint of fresh citrus. Gosh, how I had missed that. Was this weak of me? Or was this weakness necessary? Was it the only thing that stood between me becoming a heartless killing machine?
“You are most definitely not one of my errands.” Thorsten’s low, smooth voice washed over me like a balm. “Steinberg would be furious if he knew I’m seeing you. He has been explicit about me not hanging out around any fae.”
“Why are you going against his wishes?”
Thorsten’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “At first, I told myself it was because I needed to make sure that you were all right. I felt so guilty after—”
“After reducing me to nothing? After laughing at me? You were crueler than the rest of them!” The tender feelings within me fled to reveal a volcano of anger underneath. “Why do you keep playing nice than turning into the biggest ass ever? Does that turn you on? Is this your sickness?”
“Onyx,” he breathed and hung his head low, hiding his face with his hands. The way he said my name with so much tenderness, laced with longing, took the wind out of my sails. When he looked back up at me, his arctic eyes drilled into me. “I had to make you stay away. I had to ensure that you left the academy, that you didn’t hesitate because of me.”
A dry laugh burst from my lips. “Do you think me that stupid that I would put physical attraction over my life?”
Hurt flashed across his face, and a tingle of wicked satisfaction ran up my spine. Good, I wanted him to know what rejection felt like.
“I never thought you were stupid, but you’re incredibly unpredictable. The only thing I’m sure of is that when you’re pissed off, you’ll follow through on your goal.”
I swallowed hard. “You didn’t piss me off. You stabbed me in the back. You took a hammer to my heart.”
Thorsten nodded slowly. “You’re right. I was an idiot. I’m sorry. All I could think about was getting you out.” He brushed a hand through his blond strands. “After Mei almost succeeded in showing the video of us to Vulthus, I nearly lost it. I imagined what they’d do to you if they found out. I wasn’t worth the risk. What we had wasn’t worth the price of your life.”
I bit my lip. “And yet, after getting me out, after pushing me away, you came back. Why? I’ve moved on. I don’t need you.”
Thorsten opened, then closed his mouth. “You’re right. It was selfish. I should’ve stayed away after making sure you were fine.” He rose and turned away.
I jumped to my feet and grabbed his elbow. His gaze traveled from my hand on his arm up to my eyes, then dropped to my lips. The air crackled with electricity. My body burned with need. My brain told me this would become my undoing, but my heart screamed that if I didn’t do this now, I’d never see him again. I didn’t want to fight for my life only to sleepwalk through it. I wanted to experience it all.
My hands seized his neck, and I pulled him down. My lips crashed against his, and his tongue slid into my mouth. My breath turned labored as tingles of pleasure darted thro
ugh my body, lighting a path to my very core. I hooked my leg around his while he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer.
Everything melted away until it was just him and me, our bodies pressed against each other with only a thin layer of clothes between us. I rubbed myself against him, needing more, so much more of him. His mouth found my neck, and I threw my head back in ecstasy, not in the least bit afraid even as his fangs grazed my skin. But instead of biting down, he continued kissing my neck, licking it, soft and gentle. I pulled away from him. “You’re holding back. We’re not at the academy anymore.” As messed up as it was, I wanted him to bite me.
He gave me a rueful smile. “I’m not going to drink your blood until you’re ready.”
“Don’t I get to decide that?” I took a step back to see his face better. “If you see me as broken or weak, you better tell me now.” I didn’t want his pity. I would only be with him if I was his equal.
His eyes sparked. “Onyx, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.”
“Then why—”
“Because when I drink from you it won’t be out of lust or need, it will be to claim you as mine.”
“Oh.” I couldn’t say more, heat rushing into my cheeks. Was he saying he’d only bite me when we slept together?
Thorsten balled his fists and gritted his jaw. “At the bidding ball, when Vulthus bit you, it was a different bite from the bites you’ve experienced before.”
My hand flew to the now smooth skin on my neck. “It was more painful and intense.”
“It was a binding contract.”
I swallowed hard. “So, I’m still his?”
Thorsten nodded. “Being around your father’s magic weakened Vulthus’s scent on you, but it still lingers.”
“Can others smell that I’m his?”
He shook his head. “Not unless they get very close to you. The claiming bite is meant to keep other vampires away.”
I rubbed my neck as my stomach turned. “How do I make it go away?”
Savage Monarchs (A New Adult Prison Academy Novel) (Nocturnal Academy Book 3) Page 9