Nothing Else Matters
Book Two in the Demon Disciples Series
Copyright © 2020 Allana Walker
Edited by Karen Sanders
Cover Design by The Pretty Little Design Co.
Formatting by Arctic Fox Ink
All rights reserved. No alterations of the contents allowed. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means - electronic, mechanical, photographic (photocopying) recording or otherwise - without prior permission in writing from the author.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, establishments, organizations, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously to give a sense of authenticity. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, the locale is purely coincidental.
!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!
Some of the contents within this book, it is intended for 18+. Due to sexual nature, swearing, and violence. Some readers may find parts of this book distressing and uncomfortable to read due to sensitive subject matters.
It is advised that you read with caution.
You have been warned of the intent that this is for an adult audience.
Today the world feels broken,
Everything reminds me of you,
The laugh in the wind
The song on the radio
All bring to mind memories
Moments made to be treasured
Today I miss you
Thinking of you makes my heart hurt
I miss you is three little words
Little words with immense power
They drag me back to the pain
Pain that feels fresh and raw
It all replaces you
You and the love you were
Today I need you
I feel like the sun is missing its warmth
I need the smiles and laughter
Just for that moment, I need you
I want to feel you with me
Long to hear your voice
Today the world feels broken
Like me, it’s missing you.
~Victoria Knappett
CHAPTER ONE
Daria
“I’m getting married today!” Jess yells happily, running around in the hotel suite. “We’re officially going to be sisters!” We both squeal, and the hairdresser laughs as he curls my hair.
We've waited for this day for months, and now it's here. I couldn't be happier for them.
“I honestly thought it would be you and Austin that would get married.” Grace, Jess’ cousin comments.
“Me and Austin?” I say, my voice higher than normal as my head flinches and my jaw drops in shock when I hear Grace suggest that Austin and I would get married. I mean, we’ve never even dated. A confused smile is on my lips and I arch a questioning eyebrow at her through the mirror. There would have been a time years ago I would have agreed with her, but we had a one-night stand and that was a mistake. Just the thought of being married to someone other than Striker causes a shiver down my spine.
My heart belongs to a six-foot-seven stubborn asshole. Even if he has hurt me in the worst possible way.
“Come on, Daria. Ever since Austin saw you in a bikini at Jess’ pool party for her sixteenth birthday, he’s been a permanent walking, talking hard-on around you.”
My face feels like it’s on fire because I remember that night. That was the night after prom. The night after we had slept together.
My mind takes this opportunity to drift to Striker. The last time we saw each other was when I went over to the clubhouse to try to sort out this tension. I didn’t want any bad blood on this day, but when I walked in, I saw him getting a lap dance from one of the club girls. I had to get out of there, but he saw me and followed me out.
One week ago…
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he yells behind me.
I spin on my heel to face the man I love with everything in me, and the man that has broken my heart twice in one week. Striker stomps towards me. I can see the vein on his forehead protruding from where I’m stood and his narrowed eyes focus on nothing but me.
“No.” I point at him, stopping him in his tracks. “No. You will not come any closer. That whore was all over you.”
“Daria, it’s a bachelor party for my best friend.”
“What? So, it's okay for you to have a slut rub her skanky ass on your dick, but I can't watch a man strip down to his underwear at Jess’ bachelorette party? Remember? The one you punched, and I had to talk him down from pressing assault charges?”
“No. You can’t.” He straightens to his full height, slowly walking towards me, trying to intimidate me. “But did you forget one little detail? You fucking ended it with me.” His voice gets louder. “Not the other way around. I can do what the fuck I want.” He steps closer to me, and my heart races as his familiar scent of leather and bike oil hits my nostrils. “I can fuck who I want.”
“You’re right. I did end it, because I was pissed at you. You barged in like some sort of jealous, psychotic asshole and ruined my best friend’s bachelorette party.” My voice is so loud that it alerts some more of the brothers to see what’s going on. “But you know what? That’s fine. Do what you want.” I turn my back to him, ready to open my car door and get the hell away from him when I remember why I’m here. I turn back to face him. “I actually came here to try to sort out everything. To fix us.” I see Nico pushing past some of the brothers to see what all the commotion is. “Do you know what else? I had to console our fucking daughter, who’s blaming herself for all of this. Crying herself to sleep thinking if she had never been born, then none of this would have happened, and we would be happy living our lives separately.” Tears threaten to fall thinking about Emily and what this is doing to her. I turn to open my car door, but he places his hand on top of it, stopping me. “Move your hand.”
“No,” He growls in my ear. “You’re going to talk to me.”
“Screw you, Striker.”
“Any day, any time, baby. Just say the word and I’m ready and waiting.”
Smug prick.
My knees weaken slightly and a flush creeps up my neck. “Move, so I can go home to my daughter.”
A new fire fills his eyes when I emphasize my daughter.
“Our fucking daughter, and don’t you forget that.”
“Striker, I’m done talking to you. Please move.” I try to keep my voice level and sound more confident than I actually am. But in reality, I’m scared and upset with him right now. I need to get away and think about what my future holds with or without Striker.
After that, Nico came over and pulled him away, letting me drive off with the tears I’d held back falling freely down my cheeks. Jess brings me out of my memory by scolding Grace.
“Grace, please don’t talk about my brother like that.” Jess looks like she’s about to throw up. She rolls her eyes at me as Grace continues saying how Austin and I are meant to be.
My face heats thinking back to when I was younger when I had the biggest crush on Austin. When he looked at me, I swear I thought I had been thrown into a pit of lava; my whole body felt like it was on fire. I always made up excuses to go over to Jess’s to get a glimpse of him. His body was like it had been carved by the Gods themselves. I would have given anything to be his, but one night, it happened. We slept together and I felt nothing. If anything, I felt like I had betrayed Jess. It was at that point, I knew that I loved him as a friend and nothing more.
“Austin and I will never be together,” I say. “It’s Jess and Nico’s day. Let’s focus on the
m.”
It’s true; I will never want Austin the way I want Striker. I just need a minute to myself and time for me. My stomach rolls, a rush of heat hitting me as if I’ve just walked into a human-sized oven. The room spins like I’m on a fairground ride, and I’m about to throw up. I jump from the chair, sprinting to the bathroom.
“Daria?” Jess knocks on the bathroom door. “Daria, are you okay?”
“Just a minute.” I sniff after I finish bringing up my breakfast. I stand and walk over to the sink. “You stupid idiot,” I whisper, looking in the mirror. After washing my hands, I splash water on my face.
“Come on. The make-up artist is waiting. It's your turn.”
“Coming.” Opening the door, I see her wide smile slowly disappear from her face when she sees me.
“What's wrong?” she asks.
“Nothing, I'm fine.” I try to slink past her, making my way to the make-up artist.
“Woah. You're not getting out of it that easy.” She pulls my arm. “Grace, you go next. I need to speak to my best friend here.” She pulls me back to the bathroom.
Oh, shit.
“What's going on, Daria?” She folds her arms across her chest. “And don't even think of bullshitting me.” Her eyes are almost closed as she looks at me.
“I told you, Jess. I'm fine.”
“Daria, you're my best friend. I know when you're lying, and that was a straight-up lie right there.” She takes a step closer to me. “Tell me.”
“I'm not about to ruin your big day with the stupid things going on in my head.”
She's marrying my big brother. I can’t tell her I'm scared about the possibility of being pregnant again.
“Daria, you know you can tell me anything.” Tears spring to my eyes. She pulls me into her arms, but I have to push her off when an unwelcome wave of nausea comes over me again. “Shit, Daria. Are you okay?” Jess runs up to me, rubbing my back while I throw up again.
“No, stay back. I don't want to barf on your beautiful dress.” I try to speak between heaves. “I just ate something bad last night.”
“Haven't we been down this road before?” I risk a look at her. She has a sly grin on her face and a raised eyebrow. “You've been sick for weeks. Do you think you might be pregnant?”
“No.”
“Daria?” Her eyebrow rises further than I thought was humanly possible. “Is this where you tell me it’s another bug?”
I slump down at the side of the toilet, my head back against the wall. “Yes.” I pull out the pregnancy test I bought a week ago, but didn't have the nerve to do it.
“Well, only one way to find out.”
“Jess, it's your wedding day. I'm not doing it now.”
“I won't hear any excuses. Do it.”
Relenting, knowing she won't leave it, I gather myself up and get ready to pee on the stick.
“How long now?” I ask as I pace back and forward, picking at my nails. It has to have been less than three minutes, but it feels like hours.
“One more minute.”
“Jess, I'm scared. What if it's positive? What if, when I tell Striker, he says he doesn't want it? What if he tells me he wants nothing to do with the baby? I'll be left with two kids on my own. I can't do this on my own. I can't-”
“Daria, babe, breathe.” She takes my hands in hers, looking in my eyes. “Did I leave you when you were pregnant with Emily?”
“No, but-”
“No, I didn't. And I won't leave you now. You're my best friend, Daria. My sister-in-law, and my soulmate. If Striker wants to leave you to raise this one, then it's his loss.” She wipes a rogue tear away. “You will always, always have me every step of the way. You’ll never be alone.”
“I'm just so scared, Jess.”
“I know. I know you are.” She kisses my forehead. “Sisters forever, okay?” Just as I nod, the timer on her cell goes off. My heart is beating fast as she smiles at me.
“I can't. You need to tell me. I can't look.” Closing my eyes, I take deep breaths.
“It's positive,” Jess whispers. “You're about to be a mom again.” I stumble back. My legs feel like Jell-O as I lean against the wall.
Oh God. My heart feels like it’s about to burst, and a cold sweat breaks out against my hot skin. I can’t lose another baby. I gasp, trying to get some much needed air into my lungs. I had a couple of pains and some spotting yesterday. I thought I was finally getting my period, but obviously not. What if I lose this baby too, and Striker looks at me like I’m damaged, like Blaze said I was? I can’t go through that again.
“Shit.” My throat constricts, barely able to get the words out. I can’t breathe. “What am I going to do? How am I going to tell him?” My whole body feels numb. “Jess, I can’t lose another baby. Not another one of Striker's babies.”
Her eyes widen. “Another one?”
“Girls?” Alexa's voice comes through the door, breaking the awkward stare Jess is giving me. “Starr is waiting. You don't want to be late, Jessica.”
“Coming, Mom,” Jess shouts back. “What do you mean another one of Striker’s babies?”
“Jess, I don’t want to discuss this right now.”
“No. I want to know what you mean by that, Daria.”
“I lost our baby when Brad and those other guys beat me up.” New tears burn my eyes, thinking our baby would be due in a couple of months.
“You’ve been carrying that around with you for this long? Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks. “Does Striker know?”
“Yeah. I told him when the whole thing blew up with Blaze.” I wipe my eyes. “He hasn’t mentioned it since then.”
“Maybe he’s in denial. You sure you're okay? There's nothing else bothering you?”
“Jess, I'm fine now I know.” I give her a watery smile. “Now, let's finish getting ready before your mom loses it.” We giggle. “Let's get you married.”
“Okay, but we’ll talk more later.” I know she wants to help me through this whole thing, but this is her day. She should be happy and focusing on her and Nico, not my problems.
“Oh my God, I'm getting married. I can't believe it.” She squeals and runs out to finish getting ready. I look at her with the biggest smile on my face. Today is all about her and Nico. I’ll tell Striker I’m pregnant tomorrow.
***
I stand nervously at the side of the aisle, waiting for the wedding planner to tell me it's my turn to walk down before Jessica and her dad. When I look up, a small gasp leaves my mouth when I see Striker; I hope he didn’t hear it. Dear God, he looks so good in a suit. The way he's looking at me, I think he wants to take me here and now.
“Daria.” The snooty bitch snaps her fingers and shoves Striker. I shake my head as I walk toward him. I know I'm supposed to link my arm through his, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Just standing next to him is enough.
I glimpse to my left. I see Lauren and Dad sitting at the front with Emily, smiling widely at me; they started dating not long after the truth got revealed. I still can’t bring myself to call Lauren Mom, or even have a conversation with her. I keep it civil for Dad and Nico, and that’s all I can give her right now. Dad blows me a kiss as we walk past, while Lauren wipes her eyes, still smiling. Finally, I look down at the front of the aisle to see a smiling Nico. I kiss him on the cheek and whisper, “Good luck.”
The music changes, and it's time for Jess to walk down to her happily ever after.
I watch Nico looking at Father John and I give him a small nod to look around at his bride at the same time as Striker leans in to tell him to look. When he looks around, I swear it’s like a scene from The Mask, where he sees Cameron Diaz’s character, his heart beating through his top, and his eyes bulging out of his head. I giggle to myself and Striker looks over, tilting his head a little. I compose myself and focus on Jess, who is crying already. My best friend is marrying the man of her dreams, and I can’t stop the tears it brings to my eyes. Not of sadness, but pure joy.
My eyes fall to where Jake is sitting. He looks back up at me and smiles slightly, as if to say he knows what’s going through my mind. I smile back at him, feeling another set of eyes on me. Striker. No matter how hard I try not to, I look over at him and he looks pissed. I can feel another fight is going to happen, so I'll avoid him as much as possible. I will not ruin this day for Jess and Nico because of his fucking ego.
***
“Congratulations.” I smile at my best friend and hug her. “You really do look beautiful.”
“This old thing.” She waves her hand and giggles. “Thank you. You doing okay?” she whispers as I hug her again. I nod, nodding as we pull apart.
“Meet you on the dancefloor.” I wink at her.
Coming face to face with Nico, my smile widens as he pulls me in for a hug. I close my eyes and breathe in deeply. This is what I need. A hug from my big brother to make me feel better.
He pulls away from me, searching my face. My eyes well up with tears. “Hey, what's wrong?”
“Nothing. Nothing. I'm just happy for you both.” I dab under my eyes. He narrows his eyes on me.
“Liar. Come find me later. We'll talk, okay?” I nod.
He kisses my forehead, then I come face to face with Lauren in the line-up.
“Daria, you look beautiful.” She takes me in her arms. It’s the most awkward hug I have ever had and given. It shouldn’t be like that with a parent.
“Thank you.” My voice is hoarse. I feel her eyes scrutinizing me, and I leave before she can say anything else.
I need a minute to myself—just one. Emily is beside Striker and Barron in the line. I walk to the luxury portable bathrooms at the side of the party tent where the reception is taking place. Sitting in one of the stalls, I take deep breaths, trying my hardest to get my emotions under control. As I do this, I feel a slight pain in my side.
No. Not again.
Nothing Else Matters (Demons Disciples MC Book 2) Page 1