Nothing Else Matters (Demons Disciples MC Book 2)

by Allana Walker

  I can't speak. For the first time since my mom died, I'm numb.

  No words, no feelings.

  Nothing.

  ***

  I gaze out into the water, observing how calm and still it is, unlike my life. I hear a car door close behind me, and I turn slightly. I spot Lauren making her way down.

  “Beautiful, isn’t it?” She sighs wistfully.

  “Yeah. Daria comes down here to think, or to just get away from me.” I throw a rock toward the water. “I've lost her, Lauren.” I look down, defeated. “I can't keep fighting for something she doesn't want.”

  “Striker, I love you like a son. You haven’t lost her. Daria needs you more than she has ever needed anyone in her life. I've seen the way her face lights up when she sees you, or even hears your name. She doesn't want to admit it, but she loves you deeply and wants to be with you.”

  “She thinks I cheated, Lauren.”

  “I know. She mentioned it in New York. I told her you would never do something like that.”

  “Yet, she still believes I did it.” I shake my head, “I don’t think anything I say will ever get through to her.”

  “Just give her tonight to get her head together. Don't give up on her. She won't survive another person who is supposed to love her giving up on her.” She looks down, and I know she's talking about herself.

  “She doesn’t blame you, nor does she hate you. She’s just hurt.”

  “I know. We talked while we were away in New York. For someone who claims to hate shopping, that girl can shop.” She smiles. “I told her everything, all that Ramon put me through, and why I had to give her up. We’re not one hundred percent yet, but I believe we’ll get there.”

  “Thanks, Lauren.” I lean in to kiss her cheek.

  “Anytime. Just,” she pauses. “Please, keep trying to get her to see that you never cheated. Also, you have to be one hundred percent honest with her. I mean, tell her everything that's going on with your life, where your head is at, and most importantly, what's happening with the club.”

  “Full disclosure?”

  “Full disclosure. She's told you about her past. Now you have to tell her yours, no matter how hard it will be.”

  I will get her back, or I will die trying.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Daria

  “So, you wanna talk about what happened between you and Striker last week?” Nico asks me when I sit down on the sofa. He hands me a glass of wine, looking at me expectantly.

  Yeah, I still haven’t told him about the baby either. I came over to his place because we were supposed to be going to dinner for some brother-sister bonding, but I didn't feel up to it. Instead, we decided to stay in, order pizza, and watch a movie.

  “I’m sure Striker has already told you about it, so let’s just leave it at that.” The last thing I want to think about is Striker right now. I had all intentions of going to see him the day after I came back from New York, after my appointment, to tell him about the baby. When I saw him in my house, I was shocked and a little annoyed at Jess and Nico for letting him in without my permission.

  The way his hand felt on my face, I almost gave in and kissed him. Then the whole cheating thing hit me like a truck.

  “Why are you punishing yourself like this? I see how much all this is hurting you. And don't come at me with the bullshit story about being fine and that the New York trip with Mom helped you because I can see it in your eyes every time I mention Striker’s name.” He turns to face me more. “Come on, Daria. You need to tell me because, from where I'm sitting, you're the one that's causing all this heartache.”

  My eyes snap up to look at him. “He cheated on me, okay? What else is there to say? As soon as I said it was over, he didn't waste any fucking time jumping onto the first girl that opened her legs for him to!” I yell at him, completely losing my shit. “Our relationship wasn't even cold and he was screwing someone else. Was he doing that all along?” I shake my head, laughing a little. “Oh, and I'm pregnant. How’s that for a kick in the head?”

  He takes my hand in his. “Daria, I love you. You’re my sister, and Striker is like a brother to me. Would I like it if you guys would stop being so fucking stubborn and talk this shit out properly with your mouths? That would make my life and your lives so much easier.” He shakes his head. “So, you’re pregnant?”

  “Yeah.” I flop back in my seat.

  “Does Striker know?”

  “Nope.”

  “I don’t believe he cheated, Daria.”

  “There were pictures and I saw them getting close with my own eyes, Nico. Lauren has already told me the same. ‘He wouldn’t. He loves you too much.’ Blah, blah.” I roll my eyes at them both trying to cover for him. I knew they would. They were his family before they were mine. Blood or not, they’ve known him longer.

  “Daria, I’ve known Striker for the best part of my life. Yes, he’s a hotheaded asshole, but a cheat?” He shakes his head. “He’s not a cheat.”

  “I didn’t dream it! I saw the pictures.” I can feel my temper rising the more people insinuate that I’ve made the whole thing up. “Look, I came here to spend some time with my brother, not to sit and talk about Striker.” His head jerks back, and he holds his hands up in mock surrender.

  “Whoa. Put the claws away, cupcake. I’m just saying. I’m with Striker almost every day, all day and night sometimes. I have never seen him take a girl to his room, or even let them touch him since you came back into his life. When was this supposed to have taken place?”

  “The week before Jess’ bachelorette party, when I found out about Lauren and you.”

  “He definitely didn’t cheat on you that night, Dee.” He shakes his head once again.

  “Nico…”

  “No, Daria. Listen to me. He stormed in, all pissed. I watched him from the far corner like I always do when he gets in one of those moods. I watched the whole thing. The new whore has had her eye on him since she stepped foot through the door. She saw an opportunity and pounced. I was ready to kick his ass if he took her back to his room. I moved closer and heard him play her. She called you a slut, and I swear he would have killed her if the club wasn’t being watched by the cops.”

  I roll my eyes at Nico still trying to defend him. “Daria, it’s the truth.” His hand lands on top of mine on my stomach. “Do you trust me?”

  “With my life.”

  “Then please believe me. Besides, you won’t be alone raising this baby.” He smiles at me. “You have me now. Jess and I will be with you every step of the way.”

  Hot tears fill my eyes. “Thank you, Nico.”

  “What are big brothers for? I just have one request.” I nod at him to continue. “Tell Striker. He deserves to know, Daria.”

  “I will.”

  “Okay. Let’s watch this movie.” He grins at me when he presses play. I place my head on his shoulder as the movie starts.

  Nico’s right, Striker deserves to know. I will tell him.

  Soon.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Daria

  Since talking it out with Nico, I did intend to go and talk to Striker about the baby and straighten the whole cheating thing out, but I had to go to away for some extra training at another branch of Jefferson and Sons. I know I should have contacted Striker personally about having to leave so suddenly, but I couldn’t. Instead, I called Nico when I found out I had to leave and asked him to pick Emily up and take her to Barron’s, where he said she could stay while I was away.

  The timing of my trip was terrible. I’d discussed selling the house with Jake a while ago. I asked him if he wanted to keep it for when he’s back home, but he said no. So, we’re selling the place we brought Emily up in, and I’m moving back in with Dad for a while. I don’t feel comfortable staying here until it sells, and Dad was more than happy to have us move in earlier than expected. But I hadn’t had a chance to tell Striker yet. The trip was more stressful than I’d expected, and then I had to go home and pack ev
erything up. With all of that going on, calling Striker just kind of… slipped my mind.

  “You sure about this?”

  I eye all the boxes piled up at the front door, ready for the movers. I peer at Jess before I reply.

  “Yeah, I have to do this. Too many memories in this place. Not all of them good.”

  There has been more blood and tears on these floors than I care to remember. I made the decision to move not long after Jess and Nico's wedding. I don't want to bring my baby up in this ghost-filled house. Plus, with the few times I've been in the house on my own, there have been too many things pointing to someone being in here.

  “I need a fresh start.”

  She nods and walks out with a box. I make my way up to my room to finish packing up.

  “You're moving with my daughter?” I jump when I hear an angry voice behind me. Abandoning the books I was about to put into a box, I turn to see Striker standing in the doorway. His chest moves up and down quickly, like he's been running a marathon.

  “Yes, I-” He doesn’t give me a chance to explain further, his eyes a mixture of anger and sadness. I’m about to tell him I’m moving in with Dad and ask to arrange a day where we can meet up and discuss everything, but he interrupts me.

  “No way.” His head shakes violently, and he marches toward me. I back up until I'm against the wall. “No. You're not taking Emily away from me. You promised never to stop me from seeing her.” I see his hand clench to a fist from the corner of my eye, and my heart pounds against my ribcage. I'm terrified because I haven't seen him this enraged for a long time, “You promised me, Daria.”

  My vision blurs. My heart aches for him, but I know I can't stay in this house any longer. There are just too many bad memories.

  “Striker-” I try again, but can't get my words to leave, no matter how much I will them to fall from my mouth. I want nothing more than to take him in my arms and tell him I want to fix us, but they just won’t filter through and leave my mouth. His head hangs beside my face, then he runs out of the door before I can get the words out that I’m only moving a half hour away from here to my dad’s.

  “You okay, sweetheart?” Lauren walks in as the tears silently fall. I've stood here for five minutes, staring at the door Striker just stormed out of. “Daria? Sweetheart, breathe.” I finally look away from the door and at Lauren’s concerned eyes.

  “I miss him. I miss him so damn much.”

  “I know.” She gathers me into her arms, against her chest, and kisses my head. “I know.”

  “Dee, the movers are here.” Nico walks in. “Daria? You okay?” Lauren holds her hand up to stop him from coming in further. “Motherfucker.”

  “Language,” Lauren scolds him. “Just take the rest of these boxes down and start loading up the van.” Nico must have hesitated because she used a tone I used on Emily for the attitude she gave me because I’m selling this place. “Nico Sanchez, you will go and put those boxes in that van and go nowhere near Striker.” Just hearing his name sends a shiver down my spine.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “You sure you’re okay?” Lauren turns to me, her tone softer.

  “Honestly, no. I’m far from okay.” Tears swim in my eyes again. “I don’t think I will ever be okay without him.”

  “I know, honey.” She kisses my head again. “Let’s get these loaded up and into storage.”

  Nodding, I follow her down to the front door. I take one last look at the place I called home for the past eleven years. All the happy memories of Emily’s first steps, losing her first tooth, riding her bike. All of it tainted by the bad memories.

  “This is for the best, cupcake.” Nico slings his arm over my shoulder. My head falls to his shoulder and I wrap my arms around his waist.

  Time to move on.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Striker

  “Striker?” I sprint past Jess, who was halfway up the stairs. I had to get out of there. I had to leave her. I didn't like where my thoughts were going when she was in front of me. The feeling of wanting to hurt her was slowly creeping back into my veins. Just the thought of putting my hands on her like that again gets my blood boiling. I never want to be that guy again, and I never want to touch her like that. The shock, and dare I say, love in her eyes was quickly replaced with fear when she saw my fist. I can't do that to her again. I swing my leg over my bike and speed out of there and head to the one place I can feel the calmness of Daria without having her in my arms.

  “Nico said I might find you here.” The last person I ever thought would come to find me speaks and sits by me, pulling me out of my self-loathing. I’ve been down here for a little over an hour, just thinking about everything that’s happening and trying to figure out how to get past this.

  “What do you want, Jessica? I'm not in the mood for your ball-busting.” I sigh, throwing rocks into the lake.

  “I'm not here to bust your balls, Striker. For once.” She tuts. “Maybe just a little bit, but I'm here as a friend.” Over the past few months, Jess and I have grown closer, ever since Daria was in the hospital after the whole Brad thing. She’s really a nice girl, just fiercely protective of Daria, which I get completely. I’ve come to find we actually have a few things in common.

  “She'll forgive you. She always does. She loves you too much.”

  “Yeah? Then why is she leaving?” I shake my head. “Typical Daria. Running away, taking my kid with her.”

  “She isn't leaving,”

  “I saw the boxes, Jessica.”

  “She's moving back in with her dad. Too many memories in the house, plus, she’s felt like someone had been in the house when she’s alone more than once. She doesn't feel safe. Her dad’s house has a top of the range security system and a big gate surrounding his property.”

  Shit. Now it all makes sense.

  “Jess.” I’m about to ask her if she knows about me supposedly cheating on Daria, and if she knows anything about the pictures, but she smiles at me. “What?”

  “You're getting good at calling me Jess and not jailbait or bitch.” She nudges me.

  “Yeah, well. I kind of like you.” I offer her a small smile. “You're good for Nico. He's lucky to have you.”

  “Well, would you look at that? Striker Xanders, egotistical asshole extraordinaire, paying me, jailbait, a compliment.” She shoulder bumps me. “But seriously, Striker. Daria loves you. I mean, really loves you. She's just battling her demons right now, and she doesn't want to pull you or any of us into them. Hell, it took me forever to get even a sliver of information out of her.” She glances down, playing with her wedding rings.

  “But that's the thing. I want to be pulled in. I want to be the one to pull her out of it.”

  “I know, and I know she’s dealing with you apparently cheating on her too, she has a lot going on in her head right now. The thing about Daria is, she’s too damn stubborn for her own good and she would rather deal with things on her own rather than ask for help. I had to beg her to go see a therapist or someone impartial. Just something to sort her head out. I’m afraid I’m going to lose her one day,” I put my arm around her and pull her in for a hug.

  “Don’t worry Jess, I’ll talk to her. Even if we need to be locked in a room to sort out our differences.”

  I’m done with this shit. She’s going to listen to me whether she likes it or not.

  ***

  I drive into the compound, my mind consumed with thoughts of things I want to say to Daria, how to express them, and how to get her in the same room as me to actually speak to her. I didn’t sleep last night after my chat with Jess when she told me that Daria wasn’t running, she was just moving in with her dad. I feel like the shittiest person in the world for blowing up at her the way I did and didn’t give her a chance to explain anything. I just don’t get why she didn’t tell me.

  I frown at Daria’s car parked in her usual spot. Walking past it, I quicken my steps toward the door, my heart racing with all the thoughts of why sh
e could be here. Has something happened to Emily? Has Brad been in contact?

  Looking around, I don’t see her. All I see is a few wives and brothers, whores, and Blair behind the bar cleaning the glasses. Glancing up from what he’s doing, he says, “She’s in church with your dad and Nico.”

  Running into the room, I look from Dad to Nico. Finally, my gaze lands on Daria. She looks pale, and a lot thinner too. Has she been eating properly? Is she ill? Her head snaps up as if feeling my presence, and Dad and Nico begin to slither towards the door.

  “Baby, are you okay?” I advance toward her, her wide eyes never leaving mine. I think she’s as shocked as I am that we’re in the same room again. We both eye the doors just in time to see them close. I’ve never seen Daria move so quickly in all the time I’ve known her. The door clicks. I know that they’ve locked us in. My lips twitch a little, knowing whose idea this would have been.

  Thank you, Jess.

  “Nico, I swear to God you better open this door right now.” Daria yells, pounding on the door.

  “No. Not until you and Striker sort out your issues.”

  “Issues? You’ll have issues breathing when I get my goddamn hands on you!” she screams at the large mahogany door.

  Believe me, I have been on the end of her anger and her shouting in my face. This shit is scary.

  “As long as you and Striker sort out your shit, you can kill me afterward.”

  “Asshole!” She slaps the door and kicks it hard. I can’t stop the chuckle that escapes my mouth. She turns her head and looks at me like she’s about to kill me. “This isn’t funny.”

  “It’s a little funny.” I grin. She gives me a death glare the devil himself would be proud of. She begins pacing the floor like a caged animal. I can’t help staring. “Daria. Please sit down. We’re clearly not getting out of here until we figure all this crap out.” She walks toward the window, trying to get it open. “Do you hate me so much that you can’t stand being in the same room as me?” She ignores me, continuing to try to open the window. “The window doesn’t open, Daria.”