by Mj Fields
Again, for the second time today, I bite my cheeks so I don’t laugh, and he walks away.
He looks back and catches me looking at his ass.
“Squats.” He chuckles. “It’s all about the squats.”
The entire ride, I listen to Jade recap the night, and it’s not as annoying this time. It’s kind of like reading a different point of view.
When we get back, Alex is waiting for us.
He looks us both up and down and shakes his head. “Nice sweatshirts.”
Jade grins. “I think it was nice of them.”
I hand him both Lucas’s and Tommy’s envelopes as I walk toward the house and say, “Yes, it was. See you tomorrow, Jade.”
I grab a glass of water as I watch them drive out of the driveway, counting down the days before I can finally drive after nine so Alex doesn’t have to take Jade home every time we hang out.
I would never have wished on one shooting star for the feeling, the warmth, the butterflies that overcome me with the thought of the nights to come where we will be hanging out with the implants … the white hat boys, but right now, I will bask in them.
Chapter Five
I woke up wrapped in his sweatshirt and couldn’t help but inhale his scent—warm and outdoorsy and comfortable, so comfortable.
A light knock on my door has me pulling the thick cotton away from my nose just in time as Dad walks in.
“Tessa, you up?”
“Yep.” I sit up and look at the alarm clock, realizing I only have twenty minutes to get ready. Normally, that’s not an issue, but now it seems a burden. “Quiet here today, huh?”
“Too quiet.” He looks sadly at Kendall’s empty bed then back at me. “So, your birthday is in a couple days. I thought maybe Saturday night you’d want to invite some friends to stay at the camp. I know it’s last minute. Things have been a little hectic around here, and I’m sorry I didn’t get to mention it last night. But it’s all set. Alex and a couple of friends will be in tents outside to chaperone.”
I can’t help but smile.
“I have to deliver a load of hay to New Jersey Saturday evening. Leaving after the game. Your mom will be stopping up to check on you.”
“Forget it then,” I grumble, flopping back on my bed.
“You’re still my kid, Tessa, soon-to-be eighteen or eighty.”
“Alex will be there, Dad. I really don’t want to see her, especially with my friends around.”
“I’ll see what I can do, but Sunday after church, we’re all going to have dinner together for your birthday. She’s your mother, and regardless of what’s going on with us, she does love you. No arguments. Got it?” he says sternly.
I throw back the covers and slide out of bed. Stomping past him, I head down to the bathroom.
I shower then blow out my hair, which is a horrible idea since it now resembles the implant cheerleaders. I quickly braid the sides of my hair back, leaving the rest hanging, then fasten the two braids together.
The bathroom door opens a crack, and Alex yells in, “We’re out in five.”
“I’m hurrying.” I sigh as I grab a pair of jeans and the Pearl Jam T-shirt I got at the concert Aunt Josie took Jade and I to over the summer.
I look at the sweatshirt in a pile on the floor, and my hand itches to grab it, but I decide that would look completely desperate, and I am certainly not that.
Outside my locker, I invite Jade, Becca, and Phoebe to stay over Saturday night at the camp after the game. All four of them answer with a resounding yes.
Part of me is glad, and another part is disappointed throughout the day that Lucas keeps his distance. It has, however, given me the chance to watch his interaction with the female fan club that just seems to be around him at all times, which is something I would not want in my life.
I do, however, like that he’s a constant presence and that his eyes hold less malice and more of something else, something unrecognizable.
After practice, I ride with Alex to drop off Jade, and then we get snacks for the sleepover.
Dad and Alex go to bed early, but I’m unable to sleep, so I do laundry as I watch Picket Fences.
When I pull out the last load, I get pissed at myself when I see the Blue Valley sweatshirt and, on the back, instead of Ross, it says Links.
Holding it to my nose, I inhale and … he’s gone.
After putting away the laundry, I stand in the doorway and look at my empty room. For years, I’ve dreamed of having my own. But, right now, it doesn’t feel like mine.
I grab my pillow and a blanket and head down to sleep on the couch.
When I wake, Dad is about to head out to meet the guys to load the truck and Alex is cooking eggs.
“You do know that’s a chicken’s entire weeks’ worth of work in that pan, right?”
Ignoring me, Alex looks at Dad. “Season’s changing.”
Dad sets his coffee cup down. “Is that so?”
Jokingly, he nods toward me. “We can always tell when we’re closing in on deer season around here.”
I smack him.
After Alex gobbles down his eggs, he leaves to go do one of the things Alex does to calm his nerves or relax—either fish, clean guns, or maybe his old go-to, which is chin-ups in the old barn. I get to cleaning, and after cranking up the family boom box to listen to this week’s top one hundred—starting late of course—I run up the stairs to write down the first song of the countdown I hear.
I grab my blue spiral notebook, flip to the blank page, and wait excitedly, because Jade and I consider music to be much more reliable than the magic eight ball and the first song sets the tone for the week ahead.
“Number thirty-three on this week, climbing from last week’s number forty-six, “Hey Jealousy” by The Gin Blossoms.”
After a few seconds of listening, I put a big star by the song, knowing it’s one that I will try to catch on the radio and tape onto a cassette, or buy next time I hit Record Town. If I like them, I’ll grab the tee-shirt, too.
The next song is not my cup of tea, and I already wish I’d taped the Gin Blossoms as I begin to dust my room.
Number thirty-one makes me think of Mom and Dad, but as it goes on, it really makes me think of Sadi and how maybe, if she was less a bitch, sent him a mixed tape of songs like the one by Expose, he would be more receptive to working out whatever issue broke them up. But I also think, screw her. She’s a nasty bitch, and he’s lucky to be rid of her.
The only other song that has me dropping the broom or dust rag to write down with a star is “Cryin’” by Aerosmith. The rest of the countdown continues, but “Hey Jealousy” plays in my head the entire time I clean until a song I remember Dad playing comes on, Elvis’s “Can’t Help Falling In Love,” remade by UB40. Then I get emotional.
Looking at the clock, I realize it’s time to shower, but first, I need to call Mom and tell her I’ll be picking up the kids for Alex’s game.
Except, I have no clue what her number is.
Fighting the urge to run down to the falls, knowing I don’t have the time, I head to the shower.
Afterward, I walk out in my robe to find Alex standing in the middle of the living room.
“You done with the shower?”
I nod then ask, “Do you know if Mom has a phone yet?”
He nods. “She and Dad both got cellular phones. Both numbers are on the corkboard by the phone.”
“They got what?” I gasp.
“Cell—”
“It was a rhetorical question. Those two won’t even get a freaking cordless because they think whatever we have to say to our friends should be able to be said in front of the family.”
“Things are changing.”
“They certainly are,” I huff as I walk to the kitchen.
“House looks good, Tessa,” he yells to me.
“It took thirty-three songs,” I grumble.
After Mom told me that she would be bringing the kids, my mood went from bad to worse, and I
end up pulling into the game a little bit later than planned.
Finding parking is an issue. Apparently, the entire town is now showing up to football games.
I easily find Jade, Phoebe, and Becca sitting on the bleachers, a few rows behind the cheerleaders.
Great, I think as I make my way up to them.
Sitting, I comment, “Nice seats.”
Jade elbows me and I can’t help but smile for her as I look at the field and see Tommy making a J with his fingers.
“He’s just”—she sighs, and her head falls onto my shoulder—“everything.”
I look at the clock. Only two minutes in, and the Blue Valley Saints are already ahead by six.
The game is nothing like the few I’ve attended over the past few years when trying to get Alex involved in the game again. It’s fast-paced and there is little standing around. Lucas Links cannot throw a bad pass if he wanted to, and between Tommy and Alex, they catch every one of them.
I swear I get teary-eyed watching Alex.
“He’s really good,” I tell Jade.
Jade grins. “I told you he’s everything.”
“I wasn’t talking about Tommy.” I roll my eyes.
“Yeah, your guy ain’t too bad, either.”
“She wasn’t talking about Lucas,” Phoebe says. “She’s talking about the other guy killing it out there. You know, your cousin, her brother?”
“Oh my God, I totally love you.” I lean over to give her a hug.
Jade blocks me. “Hey, remember who your best friend is here.”
Phoebe and I both laugh.
With each touchdown Tommy makes, he holds up his “J” and smiles at Jade.
It’s cute, but not nearly as cute as when Alex returns a punt and runs eighty yards to score a touchdown then holds up his hand in a “J,” points at Jade, and shakes his head. Jade laughs when she sees Tommy look down, covering his face.
“Busted.” Phoebe laughs.
It’s not until Alex’s big play that I realize Mom is behind us when Jake and Kendall both freak out right along with me, and then they climb down to sit next to us.
It’s not until then that I realize Sadi is cheering in front of me and throwing nasty looks at us whenever she can.
I choose to ignore her as best as I can.
However, Phoebe surprises us all when she yells, “Your face is going to freeze like that, girl.”
Sadi glares at her, yet continues cheering.
The game ends with the Saints winning by twenty-one points. It’s the first game that the Saints have won at home in over a decade.
Everyone, including us, rush the field. Jade scans the crowd for Tommy, and I watch as she runs up to him. It’s then I find Alex and hurry toward him.
Tommy looks uncomfortable as hell, knowing Alex is on to him and Jade, and when Alex grabs his shoulder to stop him from meeting her, Tommy hangs his head.
“You wanna hug, Tommy boy?” Alex teases, nodding toward Jade.
“Dude, sorry, but I definitely do.” Tommy sighs.
Totally out of character, and apparently high on the win, Alex jumps up and wraps his arms and legs around Tommy, hugging him and knocking them both to the ground.
The boys laugh, even Ryan, who reaches out his hand to pull them both up.
It warms my heart seeing Alex having fun again, and it does the same seeing Ryan take to Tommy.
“We’re going to walk away now, Tommy Boy, but we’ll look back in ten seconds,” Alex warns.
Tommy smiles as he runs up to grab Jade. He picks her up and hugs her while twirling her around. “Pretty girl, I think you’re a good luck charm. Can I kiss you before your cousin’s ten seconds are up?”
“Since you asked so nicely.” She smiles then kisses him first.
Kendall and Jake congratulate and hug Alex, not giving me a chance to do the same.
Then Kendall gasps and points. “Hey, Tessa, that’s the boy that was at our house last night.”
“Hey, hay guy.” Jake laughs at his own joke to Lucas, who stands in a crowd of cheerleaders. “You played awesome.”
I immediately feel my face redden, but Lucas smiles at him warmly as he walks toward us and gives Jake a high-five.
“Awesome game!” Jake exclaims.
“Thanks, little man. Do you think your sister liked the game?”
“You bet she did. She smiled a lot more today than usual.”
“Jake,” I whisper-hiss.
Alex walks next to me and nudges me. “What did you think?”
Embarrassment leaves immediately, and I smile up at him and give him a huge hug. “Great game. I’m so freaking proud of you.”
“What about me, Tessa Ross?” Lucas asks from behind me.
Without looking back, I answer, “You guys played well together.”
Alex pats Lucas’s shoulder. “We did.”
Finally, I look at him and swear on everything that is holy that sweat-drenched is definitely his best look.
“What’s this hay boy shit, Lucas?” Sadi yells from behind us, and then I feel hands on my back as she shoves me into him.
Lucas catches me and steadies me while telling her, “Back off, Sadi. I told you weeks ago that we’re done.” He looks down at me, hands still firmly on my hips, gripping harder as I try to turn, because I am going to whoop her ass.
His green eyes are no longer filled with the joy from the win. He looks … sad?
“You okay?”
I no longer want to kick her ass; I want to teach her a freaking lesson.
“I’m fine.”
I turn around and look at her. “You need to watch your mouth in front of kids, especially these ones.”
“Kiss my ass, farm girl,” Sadi retorts, reaching out to shove me again.
Before I even have a chance to react, Lucas reaches around me and catches her hand. “One last time. Back off, Sadi.”
“You boys enjoying the homegrown Prosti-tots now?” Sadi hisses.
“Let’s go.” Alex grabs my arm, but I pull away.
“I’ll catch up in a minute.”
“Tessa, you are the captain of the field hockey team and—”
“Alex, I’m good,” I assure him.
Alex shakes his head as he walks away with the kids.
“Now that the kids are gone, I’m only going to tell you this once. If you ever put your hands on me again, I won’t hesitate to do the same to you.”
I look at Lucas. “You done with her drama?”
Eyes sparkling, he nods.
“All right then.”
“Your threats don’t scare me, bitch,” Sadi yells from behind the people now standing between her and me.
I turn and look up at him, knowing exactly what I’m going to do, and nerves be damned, I will not back down.
I whisper, “I’m going to kiss you.”
“And I’m going to enjoy it,” he whispers back.
I hold on to his biceps and push up on my toes as he wraps his arm around me, lifting me up. I take his face between my hands and lay my lips on his.
When he presses his lips firmly against mine, I begin to pull back, but he catches my lower lip between his teeth, and I open my mouth slowly while he gently explores it with his tongue. When he pulls it out and presses his lips once, twice, and then three times against mine, I realize my feet are now touching the ground and I force myself to step back.
He takes my hand, and then we walk off the field together.
Passing Alex, he looks angry. Next to him is Jade and Tommy, who both smile at Lucas.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mom and know she’s upset as she says something to Alex, throwing her hands in the air, then comes storming toward me.
I brace for her, knowing I’m not going to back down.
“What are you thinking, young lady? That is not the way you were raised!” she yells.
Lucas starts to pull away, but I tighten my grip on his hand and calmly say, “That’s right, Mom, it wasn’t.”
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I smile and step to walk past her when she grabs my arm.
“Tessa Ross, don’t you walk away from me!”
“It was only to put some stupid girl in her place, Mom!” I yell back just as loudly. “And, as far as how I was raised,” I continue to yell, “actions speak louder than words. You’re the one who taught me how to walk away!”
I look up at Lucas as he rubs circles with his thumb on the back of my hand. Then, while she’s still too shocked at the way I spoke to her to reply, we walk away.
Jade runs up to me and hugs me.
“I’m fine,” I assure her and step back.
“We’re going to shower. Will you be here when we get done?” Tommy asks Jade.
She looks at me, and I nod.
“Yes, we will,” she tells him.
As soon as they join the team and head to the locker room, I am hit with the realization that my sister and brother probably saw the argument, and that is not something they are at all used to.
Seeing them standing outside the car, I run to them and hug them. Kendall is in tears, and Jake looks so scared it breaks my heart.
“Don’t cry.” I kiss Kendall’s cheek then pull them both into a hug. “I’m okay, you’re both okay, and Alex kicked butt today.”
Smiling, I step back. “Have fun with Mom tonight. I’ll see you all in the morning.”
“For your birthday?” Jake asks.
“Yep, and I want chocolate cake, got it?” I force myself to look at Mom and nod. “With chocolate frosting.”
She nods.
“What do you want for your birthday?” Jake asks then continues, “We’re going shopping when we leave here.”
“Blank cassette tapes, for sure.”
“What was your favorite song on the countdown?” Kendall asks, causing me to get angry again because that’s something we love to do together on Saturdays. And then we always get together whether it be on the phone or in person with Jade to discuss.
“Hands down, ‘Hey Jealousy,’ and my second—”
“‘Runaway Train?’” She grins.
“Yeah.” I nod, smiling as I feel my eyes heat.
“If we don’t go now, we won’t get to the movie store before it closes or all the good movies are gone,” Jake whispers to Mom.