“Jenny. You’ve been running from me all day.” Gabriel stepped up beside me. “Did you think I didn’t notice?”
“I wasn’t running from you.” I sighed as the rest of the students filtered past us and the hallway began to empty out.
“It sure felt that way.” He gripped the strap of his backpack as he studied me. “Talk to me. What’s on your mind?”
“I’d rather not.” I started to turn away. My heart fluttered when his fingertips grazed the length of my arm and settled against the curve of my wrist.
“Jenny.” His eyes met mine. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?” I shrugged. “I just have homework to do.”
“It’s me.” He frowned. “You can tell me anything.”
In that moment I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to tell him about the whispers that followed me everywhere. I wanted to tell him that I knew that Cooper had been saying something insulting about me. I wanted to tell him about my confusion over seeing Chuck again and the look in Gabriel’s mother’s eyes when she looked at me. But as the words bubbled against my tongue, I kept my lips sealed shut.
Instead, I started toward the door that led to the courtyard.
“Jenny.” He stepped in front of me. “Wait. Just stop for a second.”
“Why?” I held back tears as I met his eyes. “Why can’t you just let me go? I told you, I have things to do.”
“Did I do something?” His brow furrowed with hurt. “Did I say something to upset you?”
The tremble in his voice sent a wave of guilt through me. Had he done anything to upset me? He had been nothing but kind to me. Nothing but supportive. Now, he stood before me, wounded by my avoidance. How could I let that happen?
“No, Gabe, you haven’t done anything. I’m sorry.” I took a deep breath, then looked into his eyes. “You’re absolutely amazing.”
“Then why?” He stepped closer to me and his eyes narrowed. “If I’m so great, why can’t you talk to me?”
“I just can’t.”
“That’s not an answer.” He frowned. “I deserve more than that.”
“You do.” I closed my eyes for a moment, then shook my head. “I wish I could give you more.”
“You can. But you don’t want to.” He took a step back. “I get it. You want to keep me at arm’s length. I’m only allowed so close. You’ve made that clear.”
“Gabriel, no, it’s not that.” Before I could think twice, my arms were around him. My heart raced as I felt his muscles tense, then relax. I knew it was a dangerous move, but I couldn’t let go. It felt so good to hold him, and as my heart beat even faster, I realized I wanted to do a lot more than that.
“I’m here for you, Jenny.” He murmured his words as his arms encircled my waist.
The sensation of his arms around me made me dizzy. His breath against my cheek as he whispered made my knees feel weak.
“I’m sorry.” I started to lower my arms, but I couldn’t let him go.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” He pulled me closer. “Just let me know what’s going on with you.”
“Don’t act like you don’t know.” I sighed as I looked into his eyes. “I know I’m not the only one that’s hearing the rumors.”
“I don’t care about that.” He stared straight back into my eyes. “And you shouldn’t either. You’re smarter than that.”
“It’s not about me.” I shook my head. “It’s about you. My being around you—it’s going to ruin your reputation. I’m not sure it’s such a good idea to be seen together—or to play together.” I stepped away, my arms falling back to my sides. As much as I didn’t want to say it, I knew the words I spoke were what needed to be said.
“Wait a minute.” He took my hands and frowned. “I’m not sure that you get to make that choice. The only thing I care about is getting to be around one of the best people I’ve ever known. Are you going to take that away from me just because of some mean girls?”
“It’s more than that and you know it.” I lowered my eyes. “It’s not like they’re wrong. I did do something really stupid.”
“Stop it.” He squeezed my hands gently. “There’s nothing stupid about you. You don’t deserve to be treated badly. In fact, you deserve to be treated great. That’s why I’m taking you out tonight.”
“What? Where?”
“It’s a surprise. Will you come with me? Or are you too worried about the whispers to have a good time?”
“I love surprises.” I grinned. “You really planned something?”
“Of course I did. I even got permission for us to go off campus.” He shifted a little closer to me. “All you have to do is say yes, and I promise, I’ll give you a night that you deserve—something to take your mind off of everything.”
For a split second I considered saying no. Wouldn’t it be easier for him if I just kept my distance? Wouldn’t it be better for both of us? But his eyes locked to mine made my entire body tingle with curiosity.
“Yes, okay.” I smiled. “It sounds great.”
“Wonderful. Tonight then?” He brushed my hair back across my shoulders. “With your head held high?”
“I’ll try.” I nodded.
As he turned to walk away, I caught sight of another person in the empty hallway.
Gabriel’s mother stared at me as her son walked off in the other direction. My stomach twisted as I saw the expression on her face. She wasn’t happy. Not even a little bit.
She continued down the hall without saying a word to me, but her body told the full story. The way her heels snapped against the smooth floor, the twist of her lips as they tightened, and the look she gave me as she passed by all added up to exactly what she thought of me. She considered me a danger to her son.
As my heart pounded, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was right. Was I being selfish by giving in to the way I felt?
Yes, my entire body ached to be near Gabriel again. My heart throbbed at the thought of his voice, his smile, the coast of his fingertips against my skin. But could he even grasp what I’d been through over the past year?
I’d had to grow up fast, faster than anyone else at Oak Brook. How could I expect him to understand that?
Chapter 22
“Seriously, what’s going on with you?” Maby placed her hands on her hips as she stood in the doorway of my bedroom.
“What?” I stared at her reflection in the mirror that hung over my dresser.
“You’ve changed your outfit three times.”
“I’m just trying to find something comfortable.”
“Comfortable?” She tipped her head to the side as she looked down at my feet. “Those are not your comfortable shoes.”
“No, they aren’t.” I grinned as I twisted my foot to show off the sparkly high heels. “I haven’t worn these in a long time. I wasn’t sure that they would still fit.”
“I guess it’s not true that your feet get bigger.” Maby laughed, then lowered her eyes as she blushed.
“It’s okay—to talk about it.” I looked down at my feet crammed into the shoes. “Trust me, they got a little bigger. You should have seen how swollen they were in the last few months.” I shook my head. “I thought they might never go back to normal. It’s funny that way, you know—how much your body changes. And yes, some things are never the same. But now, when I look in the mirror, it feels like something is missing.”
“Really?” She stepped up beside me. “That must feel strange.”
“It does.” I ran my hand across my belly. “I got used to it, I guess. Not that I would want to be back in those moments, but it’s like I have to get to know my body again.”
“You miss her, don’t you?” She looked into my eyes through the reflective glass of the mirror.
“Not exactly.” I took a breath as I looked away. “I miss her, but I don’t want anything to be different. It’s strange, isn’t it?”
“No, I don’t think so. It’s supposed to be confusing.”
“What d
o you mean?” I turned to face her.
“Things happened before you wanted them to. You certainly didn’t plan on being pregnant at sixteen. So, things are going to be confusing. But the important thing is you are doing what you think is best. That’s all you can do.” She smiled as she stared at me. “I’m so proud of you, Jenny. I mean that. In your place, I probably would have fallen to pieces. But you did it. You survived it. And now, you just have to find a way to realize that you’re on the other side.”
“It doesn’t feel like the other side. It feels like I’m still stuck in the middle.” I glanced at my phone as it buzzed. “Chuck wants to meet with me. I told him I would.”
“It’s a big step. Maybe it’s a good step. It can help ease some of the confusion you’re feeling.” She eyed the shoes. “But I’m guessing you’re not wearing those for him.”
“No.” I grinned. “Gabriel wants to take me out. He says he has a surprise for me.”
“You agreed to go on a date with him?” She raised her eyebrows.
“No, we’re just going as friends. That’s all.” I tightened the collar of my blouse.
“Sure. Those shoes are definitely friendly.”
“Stop it!” I gave her a light shove. “I just want one night where I can go out and forget about everything else. Just be—I don’t know—not even the old me, but someone brand new. I know it probably won’t work, but it can’t hurt to try, can it?”
“Not at all. You deserve a night just like that. But not without my new lipstick.” She snapped her fingers, then hurried off to her room.
As I looked back at my reflection, I felt a ripple of nervousness. Yes, the shoes were for Gabriel. I wanted him to see that there was another side of me. A side that wasn’t so lost. Maybe he could forget for a minute the mistakes I’d made and just see me as Jenny.
“Here you go.” She handed me her lipstick. “Now hurry up, he’s already waiting for you in the courtyard. I spotted him through the window.”
“Okay, okay.” I laughed as I dabbed on a bit of the lipstick. It was darker than I would have chosen, but it brought out the color of my eyes. Maby always knew best.
I gave her a quick hug as I headed out the door. When I reached the bottom of the steps, Gabriel was there to meet me.
He smiled as he looked me over. “Wow, I feel a little underdressed.” He glanced down at his loose t-shirt and jeans.
“Don’t. It’s nice to see you out of uniform.” I smiled at him. “So? Where are we going?”
“Like I said.” He offered me his arm. “It’s a surprise.”
I smiled, giddy with excitement. There it was, a rush of freedom, a rush of just being seventeen again. He led me to a waiting taxi and we rode off in the direction of Manhattan.
“Thanks for doing this, Gabriel.” I looked over at him. “It’s good to get away from school and have a little fun.”
“I hope it will be a lot of fun.” He met my eyes. “I’m looking forward to it too. I’m glad you said yes.”
“I’d never turn down time with a friend like you.” I watched as he winced and looked away from me.
Instantly, tension filled in the space between us. I stared down at my hands. Why had I said that? Yes, he’d agreed to be my friend, but I knew that wasn’t what he really wanted. I knew it wasn’t what I really wanted.
The taxi pulled to a stop in front of the Bowery Ballroom. My heart skipped a beat. “Gabe?”
“Here we are.” He finally looked at me again with a smile on his lips. “I thought that with all the music we play together, we should get to listen to some together too.” He stepped out of the taxi, then walked around to open my door.
I already had it open when he reached for it. I jumped out onto the sidewalk and gasped as I looked up at the building in front of me. “I’ve always wanted to see a concert here. I can’t believe you did this.” I turned to look at him. “It’s too much.”
“It’s so much less than what you deserve, but I thought you might enjoy it.” He held open the door for me. “Let’s get inside, I’ve got balcony seats reserved for us.”
“Wow.” It was all I could say as I drank in my surroundings. The seats were full and the band was about to take the stage. My eyes widened when I saw who was playing. “This is one of my favorite bands. How did you know?”
“I do my research.” He led me up the stairs to the balcony. “Have you ever seen them in concert?”
“No. Have you?”
“No.” He chuckled. “Actually, this is my very first concert.” He pointed out our seats. “So you’ll have to walk me through it.”
“Gladly.” I bit into my bottom lip as I followed after him and sat down. It struck me that Gabriel didn’t have the kind of money to buy these seats. He didn’t have a wealthy family. He had a single, widowed mother who worked as a teacher. Sure, her salary was probably better than most teachers since she taught at Oak Brook, but that didn’t make her rich. “Gabriel, you really shouldn’t have done this.”
“Sh, just enjoy it.” He patted my hand, then quickly drew his away.
As he looked toward the stage I noticed the tension in his jaw. He’d made this grand gesture and I’d just labeled him as a friend in the taxi.
I sank down in my chair. I didn’t get to be a new me. I could only be the me that I was.
Gabriel could only feel the way he did.
I closed my eyes as the music began. I could only feel the way I did. I placed my hand over his and curled my fingertips against the softness of his palm. The lights faded in the same moment that his eyes locked to mine.
My heart lurched as I saw the faint smile on his lips.
He turned his attention back to the stage, as his fingers curled around my hand.
Soon we were singing along to the lyrics, and as the music picked up and everyone lunged to their feet, we did the same.
In the flickering lights, with his hand still locked around mine, I felt my world shift. He’d found a way to lift me up, even when I’d refused to let him.
Chapter 23
In the taxi on the way back to school, I sat so close to him that I could feel the warmth of his knee pressed against mine. Our fingers were still laced together, though we both pretended not to notice. I dreaded each block we passed that drew us closer to the school. I dreaded the gates of Oak Brook as they loomed ahead of us. I dreaded the moment that he would pull his hand away.
My heart ached as the taxi lurched to a stop. Before Gabriel could pay the fare, I thrust the cash into the driver’s hand.
“Jenny.” He frowned as he pulled his hand away to open the door.
“Don’t think I don’t know how much this night cost you.” I stepped out through my door before he could reach it to open it. The magic of the evening suddenly vanished.
“Don’t do that.” He frowned. “Don’t put me down like that.”
“I’m not.” My eyes widened at the thought. “I just know that—”
“That I’m not one of the rich boys that you’re used to?” He raised an eyebrow.
“That’s not what I mean at all.” I frowned.
“I took you out tonight because I wanted to.” He searched my eyes. “Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“It means everything.” I reached for his hand, then sighed as I felt his fingers wrap around mine. “Thank you. It was wonderful.”
“Jenny, I know I’m different.” He took a step closer to me.
“Gabriel.” I licked my lips, then met his eyes. “No one has ever done anything like this for me.”
“I’m sure you’ve been to plenty of concerts.”
“That’s not what I mean.” I tightened my grasp on his hand. “I’ve been to concerts, I’ve traveled, I’ve met a lot of people, but no one has ever made this much of an effort—to just make me smile.”
“So why aren’t you smiling?” He grinned as he edged even closer to me.
My heart slammed against my chest. He’d given me such an amazing night. He ca
red about me in a way that I was certain no one else ever had. I leaned toward him, my lips ready to meet his.
“Jenny,” he whispered as my lips met his cheek instead of his lips.
I pulled away—surprised—and stared at him.
“You don’t owe me anything. You know that don’t you?” He stared hard into my eyes. “That’s not why I did this.”
“It’s just a kiss.” I smiled.
“No.” He shook his head and took another step back. “I don’t want you to kiss me because you feel sorry for me.”
“I don’t.” I frowned.
“You do.” He gestured to the taxi that was driving away. “Because I paid for an amazing night and you called me your friend, so now you think you have to make it up to me.”
“Gabe.”
“That’s not what I want.” He rested his hands lightly on my shoulder as he gazed at me. “I wanted you to have this night to see that life is not always going to knock you down. Sometimes it’s going to lift you up. I want to be part of that—a good memory, a good moment. That’s all I’m asking for. Nothing more.”
As I studied him, I realized that he meant what he said. Maybe he’d hoped that our night together would lead to something more, but as he stood in front of me, in the dark, with the gates of Oak Brook towering over us, he proved that he was my friend first.
“Thank you, Gabriel.” I touched his cheek. “You did give me just that. I’m very lucky to have you in my life.”
“Don’t forget it.” He pressed my hand against his cheek, then cleared his throat. “We’d better get inside. It’s almost curfew.”
We walked hand in hand through the gates. The moment we stepped into the courtyard, my heart stopped.
“Gabriel, where have you been?” His mother stood in front of the fountain, her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed.
“We had permission to be out.” Gabriel tightened his grasp on my hand as I tried to pull it away. “I took Jenny to a concert.”
“You had permission from who?” Her tone sharpened. “It wasn’t me.”
A Fresh Start: A Young Adult Sweet Romance (Oak Brook Academy Book 5) Page 9