Jinxsy got up and put her arms around Eve, who smiled as she felt her daughter’s loving touch.
“It’s okay, Ms. Carrow. Really. If I were you and heard everything my mom just said, I’d be having the same flashbacks.” Larsen turned to Kathryn. “I know this is really hard for you, but when you were talking to my mother and telling her about Peter, you said that he died in a warehouse.”
River, Jinxsy, and Jessie all looked at one another quickly as they realized why Larsen was asking.
“That’s what I said, Larsen. But Peter didn’t die in a warehouse.”
River whispered to Jessie. “He died in the theater. Definitely.”
“I know, Riv. But we can’t say we know anything about it.”
Larsen, unclenching his fist, took the tissue he had been holding and wiped his tears. “I shouldn’t have asked about Peter, because I know you don’t like to talk about the details. I was just …”
Responding to Mick, who was holding up a bottle of cognac, Kathryn nodded yes to the offer of a drink, which he poured and passed to her only moments later.
“This is just what I needed. Thank you, Mick. Larsen is right, my friends. I have never liked to talk about the details because doing so only made the pain deeper. The truth is, the details made everything all too real. I’ve been living in a fantasy world hoping that someday I’d see my son alive again. It’s kept me sane. But after what happened today, and hearing what Eve had to say, I think it’s time I tell you all the story of Peter’s death.”
Eve looked confused. “I’m not sure what I said that had anything to do with Peter, but you shouldn’t disclose anything that you want to be kept private.”
“I think I need to. You’re all here for a reason; I believe the time has come. Unless someone here would rather I didn’t say anymore.”
River looked explosive. “No, please. We really want to hear about Peter.”
Arielle and Mick looked curiously at their son.
Kathryn handed her drink to Larsen, then folded her hands together and said a silent prayer. “Well, you all know who Peter was. There’s nobody in this room who hasn’t heard about his talent and his passion for life. As much as I like to brag about that part, I’ll move on to the things you don’t know.
“Peter met his boyfriend when he was fourteen, and there was an instant and magnetic attraction. They both used to say that destiny brought them together in a small desert town. Nicholas, my husband, accepted Peter’s homosexuality as I did. We knew early on who he was, and when he told us, we were actually grateful that he hadn’t felt the need to live in the closet. Back in those days, and even in today’s times, there are still men and women who are not comfortable coming out to the world. It is not for us to judge them either way.
“Anyway, Peter and his boyfriend saw each other for nearly a year before the boy’s father found out. Now, there was an evil man. He threatened his son, he threatened our son, he threatened us, he tried to bribe us, and on and on. As time passed, his words and his threats got more ugly and more desperate. One day, Nicholas told me that he feared this man’s anger knew no bounds.”
Eve put her hands to her mouth. “Oh, my! He sounds as evil as my father.”
Larsen handed Kathryn’s drink back to her and she took a sip. “As I told Mrs. Davis, it will be forty years ago on the sixth of March that Peter was killed. We were told that the boys broke into a closed warehouse and were snooping around when a crate fell and killed Peter, narrowly missing his boyfriend.”
So immersed in Kathryn’s tale, Arielle didn’t even bother reading the text message from Lisa that she heard come to her phone. “That’s horrifying. You were so right when you told Larsen’s mother how blessed she was to have her son alive and well and in this room. I know that’s how I feel.”
River looked at his mother. “Thanks, Mom.”
“I’m sorry, Kathryn. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”
“I’m glad you did, Arielle. Telling a story like this one, having an extra moment to breathe is a much-needed thing. Anyway, as you can imagine, it was the most horrifying news any parent could receive. We were inconsolable and certainly not permitted anywhere near Peter’s friend ever again. We weren’t able to ask him a single question. I didn’t know what had happened, but I knew what hadn’t happened. These were two wonderful boys. They didn’t break into warehouses to snoop around or steal. They spent their time together in the Desert Theater, where Peter was set to appear in West Side Story as one of the Jets.”
Surprised, Larsen looked over at River, Jinxsy, and Jessie, and then turned to Kathryn. “I wouldn’t be surprised if his favorite song was ‘Tonight,’ just like mine.”
“You’re right, Larsen. It was. He loved that song, especially the line about the minutes seeming like hours, and the hours going so slowly … he said they were words he could relate to in difficult times.”
Trying to disguise his stunned reaction, Larsen asked another question. “Was his boyfriend in the show, too?”
“No. There’s no way his father would have allowed that. He kept very quiet about his interests because he thought the theater was one place they could meet safely. And for a while they did.
“On that fateful day, a Saturday, the cast had finished an early rehearsal, and Peter and his friend, with permission, stayed behind just to spend time together. Peter worked at the theater, cleaning, so he had keys and access. Everyone there was very sympathetic to the boys’ situation.”
Kathryn’s voice began to waver, but she fought to tell her story. “When we were told what had happened, after making it through the shock and horror of the news, we didn’t believe it. Not any of it. And despite our protestations, despite imploring the police to conduct a full-scale investigation, it was ruled an accident, and the case was closed. Tighter than a drum. I was exhausted by that point. If I thought my continued pleas for justice could have brought my son back, I would have gone on fighting the law forever.
“It wasn’t until this murderer died that I found out what had really happened. At the Desert Theater, downstairs, there is a rehearsal space about the size of the stage. Over the years, unused sets have been stored on one end of the large room. There’s a lounge area off to the side, as well as a kitchen area and bathrooms. I hope you can all follow me. Now, there was a young man, an actor, who played the role of Tony. That horrible day, he and his leading lady, who played Maria, decided to extend their rehearsal time, as they often did. The two actors stayed downstairs while Peter and his friend hung out on the stage. They often enjoyed reading lines from some of the most popular plays of the time.
“When the young actor heard a loud crash upstairs on the stage, he told his leading lady to stay put, and then he rushed upstairs to see what had happened. That’s when he saw the boy’s father telling his goons to ‘move the dead faggot’ … meaning my darling Peter … to the warehouse and make it look like a crate had fallen on him. What really killed Peter was a piece of strip lighting. For those of you who don’t know, they are very long, heavy units that hold multiple lamps in different colors. I’m sure you’ve all seen … oh, who cares, this boy’s evil father had his goons climb up on the catwalk above the stage, unsecure the lighting, then drop the unit on top of the boys. When Peter was struck and killed, the bastard ran out onto the stage and said to his son, ‘That was meant for you, too!’ ”
Arielle cried out and covered her face, while Mick tried to calm her.
Kathryn paused and took a sip of cognac. “Is it all right for me to continue?”
Looking up, Arielle gave the go-ahead. “Yes, please, Kathryn. I’m sorry. We want to know. We want you to get rid of the awful secrets you’ve been carrying around.”
“Okay then.” Kathryn took another sip. “As I said, it wasn’t until after the murderer died that we learned the truth. It was then that the actor, Jamison, felt safe in telling me what he had seen and heard. He said that when he realized what was happening, he went downstairs and grabbed the young
lady, and they hid behind the scenery for many hours. He was petrified of being discovered by this wretched man or one of his hired hands. He didn’t even tell his costar what he had seen. He only told her to trust him. He didn’t want her to have the burden of knowing. For years, he was racked with guilt because he never came forward as a witness. He knew the son would never speak up because his father threatened him immediately after the murder.”
Larsen looked curiously at Kathryn. “I still don’t understand why he didn’t speak up, especially knowing the murderer’s son could never do so. His testimony could have put those guys away for life.”
“Oh, Larsen, it was no secret that the boy’s father had control over the town. Jamison was afraid that if he spoke up, he or his family would be killed. It had already been ruled an accidental death, despite the fraudulent crime scene, and he did the right thing. I’m glad he kept quiet. I would have hated for anyone else to die at this monster’s hands. It would have never gone to trial. Maybe today. Not back then.”
Eve looked at Kathryn in amazement. “This man sounds exactly like my father. Born evil.”
Kathryn took a long pause before responding. “Ernest Carrow wasn’t born evil, Eve. In fact, he was a charming young man. He was Peter’s boyfriend.”
Chapter 22
Eve and Madeleine stared at one another in mind-numbing disbelief. Kathryn, knowing she had unleashed a shocking truth, bent her head, worried about the impact that her revelations might have had on those she cared about. Larsen tried to comfort Kathryn as she had comforted him. “Everything will be okay, Kathryn. I think everyone here is happy to know the truth.”
Kathryn looked forlorn. “I hope so. These shocked faces I’m looking at say otherwise.”
Larsen looked soulfully into her eyes. “You’ve told me so many times how important truth is. And you’ve told me how destructive lies and secrets can be. Just because people are shocked at the moment, including me, doesn’t mean you didn’t just do a wonderful and brave thing.”
With a faint smile, Kathryn reached over and gave Larsen a hug. “You have wisdom beyond your years. I’m so very proud of you. Thank you for saying that.”
Looking helplessly at her best friend, Jinxsy tried to process the surreal and staggering disclosure. Jessie merely shrugged as she mirrored her best friend’s incredulity.
River looked at everyone in the room, then at his parents. “Wow; who saw that coming?”
As she took her mother’s hand in hers, Eve looked into her eyes. “You were married to him. You had a child together. Didn’t you ever suspect?”
Madeleine tilted her neck back and looked at the ceiling. “Good Lord! How in the world did I not know!”
Jinxsy looked at Kathryn. “I’m very grateful to you for telling us the truth. Maybe now I finally have the whole story of where I came from, and maybe now we can all make a bit more sense out of the past. How come you never told anybody before tonight?”
Kathryn looked devastated as she saw the distress on Eve’s and Madeleine’s faces. “If Ernest Carrow had been guilty of anything besides murdering Eve’s true love, Tommy Ribellio, I would have told the truth after his death. I would have explained that he was the victim of heinous abuse. But I couldn’t, because despite what Ernie endured at the hands of his father, Willard, he had no right to kill Tommy or try to kill anyone else. I had no sympathy for him. My own child was brutally murdered, and I’ve never hurt a soul. Not intentionally. Ernie had no right to do the things he did. Just because you understand someone’s reasons for being evil does not mean you can accept them. Murderers do not get any special dispensation in my book.
“Yes, Ernie grew up to be an awful man. I think I was the only person in Mystekal he never threatened because he knew I understood his anger. He knew that I would never tell anyone. He gave me a job and told me it was mine as long as I wanted it. But it was understood that I was never to say a word. Believe me.”
Madeleine began furiously wringing her hands. “I should have known. Oh, I should have known. You’re an idiot, Madeleine! You’re a bloody idiot!”
“Momma, stop berating yourself. Please. You told me that your parents forced you to marry him because they were poor and wanted you to have money.”
“Oh, Evie, they wanted social status for themselves. I would have done just fine for myself, but Willard handpicked me for his daughter-in-law, and they were easily seduced by his wealth and power. I was seventeen, for goodness sake. I remember overhearing Willard talking to my parents. He said I was the most beautiful young woman in town.”
Larsen looked repulsed. “My mother used to point out pretty girls to me all the time. And she was right: they were beautiful. I always agreed with her. Then she’d ask me why I didn’t want to ask them out. I’d tell her that she knew why, and she’d just give me a nasty look and say mean things. But, yeah, I understand that kind of thinking. It’s ignorant, but some people think a good-looking person of the opposite sex is the best cure for homosexuality.”
When Larsen finished speaking, Eve turned back to look at her mother. “I don’t want to get personal in a room filled with people, but I was born, so obviously—”
“Three times, Evie. That’s right. Three times and three times only. That’s all it took for me to get pregnant, and Ernest never touched me again. He just grew meaner and more resentful by the day. I’ve been in denial. It’s all so clear to me now. Of course! Why didn’t I see it then? Once he had convinced his father he was a now a straight man and that his youthful homosexuality was nothing but a childhood disease he’d been inoculated against, his father’s fortune would be his someday. There was no reason to try to love me.”
Kathryn nodded in agreement. “That’s exactly what happened, Madeleine. Hindsight is twenty twenty.”
“You’re so right, Kathryn. I feel so silly saying this now, but it never occurred to me that Ernest might be gay. I thought he was an arrogant rich kid forced to marry me as some kind of arm candy or trophy wife, although at seventeen I didn’t couch my thoughts in quite those terms. I tried to make it work because my parents relentlessly pounded it into my brain that it was a match made in heaven and I was ‘so lucky.’ ” Madeleine turned to face Eve and Jinxsy. “The only reason I don’t regret what happened is because you two are here.”
Jinxsy looked at her grandmother. “You haven’t said a thing about Willard Carrow’s wife.”
“Bernadette. There is nothing to say about Bernie Carrow except that she named her son Ernie so it would rhyme with her name. That was the only decision that poor woman was ever allowed to make in her life.”
Kathryn nodded. “That’s very true. Bernadette was a sad soul. She rarely smiled, and the only friendships she had were for show—you know, dinner with the local minister and his wife. She was never allowed to be alone with anyone, and she was forbidden to make eye contact with me.”
As the conversation went on, Kathryn and Madeleine continued to put together the pieces and make sense out of the past. Arielle, like everyone else, was riveted by the stories. Then she remembered that Lisa had texted her.
Quietly, she slipped out of the living room and into the kitchen, placing the call as she walked.
“Lis, it’s me. Sorry, it’s been a wild night here. I couldn’t get back to you right away. Do you have any news? Tell me you do.”
“Hang tight, Ari. I’m really close, but I can’t verify anything until I get more information tomorrow. When I do, I’ll text you. Leave the trailer to call me back. Take a ride somewhere. Or just sit in your car. Whatever. Just make sure you speak to me in private. Love you, girly. We’ll talk then.”
`*`*`*`
“Hey, Mom. Were you talking to Lisa? Did you find out anything?”
“Yes and no, Jess. But I think she’s going to have a lot to tell me tomorrow. I just have to be patient. Not my strong suit at the moment. Larsen, don’t worry. Lisa will get to the bottom of this very quickly.”
“Of all of the stuff I worried abou
t, the things that happened tonight were never on the list.”
Mick got up from his chair and stretched. “They never are.”
River was curious. “What were you worried about?”
“That nobody would think I was any good.”
Arielle made a sad face. “You were wonderful, Lars. Unfortunately, a person or person(s) unknown decided to upstage you.”
Madeleine turned to Larsen. “I’m so sorry that your mother saw it and reacted in the awful way that she did. For my family, something positive came out of this. We have much greater understanding of the monster who brought us so much grief. But I despise the fact that it was at your expense.”
“No, don’t be. I’m not going to lie. I’m a wreck right now. But I believe in fate, and I think it was meant to be that Kathryn was finally able to talk about what happened to Peter. More than you know.” Larsen looked over at River.
Kathryn stood in front of Madeleine and Eve. “Before we all say our good nights in a moment, there’s one more thing I think is worth mentioning. It won’t bring Tommy back, but it may bring greater clarity. Eve, I don’t believe Ernie killed Tommy because you became pregnant. That was just an excuse. I believe he killed Tommy because he couldn’t stand for anyone to be so much in love when it had been denied to him. I think he killed Tommy out of jealousy. His true love was dead, and nobody else deserved to have what he didn’t. Not if he had any say. Well, a murder is a murder. I guess the reasons don’t really matter. I’m probably just rambling now.”
Eve put her arms around Kathryn. “No, that information helps. Knowing the truth, even when it’s ugly, is a good thing. I always tell my students that when people don’t have answers, they make them up because we all have such a strong desire to have life’s mysteries explained. You’ve helped my family tremendously, and I hope you feel much freer by releasing the secrets you’ve been keeping for forty years.”
Desert Star Page 20