by Najwa Zebian
or their broken pasts to heal
the wounds of the broken.
Thank you for loving me only when
you needed someone to love you.
You led me to understand
that in times of our need for love,
our hearts are the most beautiful.
Thank you for leaving me when
I needed you most.
You led me to myself.
You led me to needing my own heart.
You led me to my voice.
Don’t you ever think that
I will hate you.
You taught me more than
any book
could ever teach me about
love,
life,
and authenticity with my feelings.
OceanofPDF.com
How many
times
do we have to end this
before
we really
end
it?
Stop trying to bang
feeling out of their silence.
OceanofPDF.com
I knew that I fell
from your heart
the night that
sleep
fell from my
eyes
because of your pain.
OceanofPDF.com
I am tired of looking for
reasons.
I know that I am a good person.
How could
I
be the reason
for this end?
OceanofPDF.com
I told you that I was in pain,
and when you asked me why,
I told you that you took so much from me.
I gave you
love.
I gave you
time.
I believed in you.
But you turned out to be
the biggest disappointment
of my life.
You asked me what you owed me,
and I told you,
“Nothing that you could give me back.”
Some scars are
seared
on our souls
for eternity to
witness.
OceanofPDF.com
My heart aches in
corners
I did not know
existed.
OceanofPDF.com
Flashback.
“You love too hard,”
he said.
“It’s the only way to love,”
I replied.
I am tired of
every person coming my way
telling me that I am too
needy for love.
I am not needy
for love.
I just love.
OceanofPDF.com
After you said your goodbye:
One day,
I will look back to you.
You will either be the best thing
that ever happened to me
or the worst mistake I ever made.
But what I know for now is this:
you leaving hurts like death,
but I owe it to myself to
not hold on
to what let go of me.
So, today, my love,
I say my goodbye to you,
too.
How many times will I say this before
I stop thinking back to you?
OceanofPDF.com
Don’t quickly tell your
new love
about your first one.
Let not your new relationship
be based on a
broken one.
Talk about the life that you both
want,
not the life that you had.
Talk about your pains,
not your wounds.
And if you have scars,
let your scars speak
their stories
on their own.
If you choose not to
listen to this advice,
that is okay, too.
Just be aware of the
reasons
that you share what you
choose
to share.
OceanofPDF.com
For your new love:
When two sad souls
meet,
silence
of the lips becomes
so beautiful
as both souls
dance in
understanding.
OceanofPDF.com
Allow your eyes to speak
a story that
words cannot explain.
Allow your smile to sing
a beautiful melody
to the beats of your heart.
Allow your heart to beat to
the rhythm of a happiness
untold.
Allow your mind to sail
a thousand ships to the shore
of serenity.
Be brave.
Be happy.
OceanofPDF.com
Don’t seek love
just to be in love.
Better wait years for the
right person
than wait years
for the right love
from the
wrong person.
OceanofPDF.com
If they don’t fall in love
with your mind,
their love for you
will not overcome
the storms.
If it was my
heart that you loved
and my mind that you
valued,
you would have never
let go
of my hand.
OceanofPDF.com
After I finally accepted your goodbye:
I told you how much
I loved you and how much you
loving me
meant to me.
I told you that if
I looked at my whole life,
you were one of the best things
that happened to me.
I asked you to forgive me
for all of the hurtful words that
I said.
I only said them because
I was so angry that
you stopped loving me.
So you said: “Okay.”
And I said:
“This is exactly why we are here.
I deal with my feelings by
expressing them, and
you deal with yours by
avoiding them.”
We both went silent.
You, because you knew I was saying
the truth,
and me, because I knew
there was nothing left to say.
OceanofPDF.com
I drowned in your
sky,
but you flew over
my ocean.
You were never deep,
but I was brave enough
to fly
when my wings were
still young.
OceanofPDF.com
I once wrote:
I fear one day that
you will
forget me like I
forgot
myself the day
I loved you.
If you forget me,
and I forget me,
who will remember
myself back to
me?
Now I know that
loving someone does not mean
losing yourself.
Instead, it means
finding yourself.
Un-lose yourself.
OceanofPDF.com
I choke on words
that I want to say to
you,
questions that
I want to ask
you.
But I would rather keep them
inside of me and hurt than
blame you for
me
choosing to believe
everything you said.
Maybe you meant it all but
you just don't feel it
anymore.
I can't be angry with fate for not
destining you for me, so
I will let my words choke on
my tears because I can't keep trying
to find what’s no longer
there.
OceanofPDF.com
I take the longest routes
to avoid the places that
remind me
of you:
the place you told me that
you loved me,
the place I told
you
that I loved
you.
The places that remind me of you
remind me of
everything that
I wanted to be
to you
and everything that
I am not
to you.
Wanted.
Am not.
OceanofPDF.com
Breathe love
into the broken
pieces of their
soul.
When each piece is
loved on its own,
they gravitate towards
one another to become
whole
again.
Put your soul back
together
first.
OceanofPDF.com
Carry my heart
with your soul.
I beg you.
Rock my fears to sleep.
Love my soul
back to life.
Why was I asking you
to do what
I needed to do
myself?
OceanofPDF.com
If you gave them
once
the love that they did not
deserve,
they will come back for more.
They will deny that they ever
caused you pain.
They will deny that they ever
poisoned your soul,
and they will come back
asking for more.
You gave it once.
They know that you will
give it
again.
Why do you fixate
so much on what they
might do?
To heal,
you should focus on what
you
do.
Not them.
OceanofPDF.com
They do everything to
dim
your light,
and then they ask you why
you’re not shining.
Broken wings are a sign of
struggle.
And strength.
OceanofPDF.com
If I could turn back time,
you would still lie to me, and
I would still believe you.
I am made of unconditional belief in
goodness, and you decided to
put your goodness to sleep.
What I believe in defines me,
not what you say about me.
And what you believe in defines you,
not what you say about yourself.
OceanofPDF.com
I can’t tell you how to love me, but
I can tell you this.
I don’t want wrapped
gifts or
wrapped words.
I want
sincerity and
honesty.
If it doesn’t feel like
love, don’t
do it. Don’t
say it.
OceanofPDF.com
You asked me what I wanted
from you.
So I told you.
Speak to me in roses.
Sing my worries to sleep.
Rock my sadness away.
Crown my heart with your
respect.
I told you.
Engulf my heart into yours.
Because a love like that
lights up
any weary sky.
My sky had been weary for
way too long
when I wrote this to you.
OceanofPDF.com
I miss you every time it
rains
and every time
the sun shines bright.
The rain reminds me of
the purity of your voice,
and the sun reminds me of
the beauty of your presence.
It’s okay to miss you.
It only means I once loved you.
It’s not you I miss.
It’s who you used to be.
OceanofPDF.com
I fell in love with you
little by little
and in more than one place.
I left a piece of your love
in each place
forever.
I used to feel drowned in your love
every time I visited any of those
places,
and my face would turn red
because of the depth of my love for you.
Now I just feel pain.
It’s not that I
want your love back.
It’s just that I no longer wish to be
in places where I once felt loved
and now that love has faded into
pain.
OceanofPDF.com
The harder it rained,
the more I knew
that I was falling in
love
with you.
The rain of you,
the droplets of you,
were taking away the
pain
of me
and quenching the thirst of
the soul
in me.
Now I know that no one
can
take away my pain.
My pain is my own
to make my own
nectar.
OceanofPDF.com
Rain planted
you
in my heart
like rain
cleansed me from
your pain.
OceanofPDF.com
To you,
The tears that they
caused you
can be just tears or
rain that cleanses
the sorrows out of
your soul.
You choose.
OceanofPDF.com
My heart drowned in the venom of
your words
as they slithered their way into my
self-worth,
broke my faith in kindness
and tainted my innocence.
They ran through my veins
like poison
and cast the night over my soul.
But my words were stronger,
my purity screamed louder,
and the pieces of my soul
revolted.
They reclaimed the throne of
my dignity that you unlawfully
occupied.
I should have known to walk
away the first time you
blamed me for
you choosing to
break me with your words.
OceanofPDF.com
The day you walked into my life,
I felt like the chosen one.
How could a king like him
love a free soul like mine?
How could he love you, you fool?
The distance you’d have to run is far.
Too far.
And the soldiers of the battles
you’d have to win are gone.
Long gone.
He’s championed wars,
and you’re still training to fight.
He’s run marathons,
and you’re still learning to walk.
He’s conquered cities,
and you’re still learning the maps.
He’s sailed oceans,
and you’re still building your boat.
It must be your foolish mind crafting stories with
invisible ink
and reading between lines that don’t exist.
Then you told me that you loved my smile.
And the time after that,
you asked me what perfume it was that I wore.
I felt so lucky that a man like you
wanted me in a kingdom like yours.
And when the gates opened and I entered inside,
I saw nothing that pleases the eye.
You see, you worked so hard to build your fort,
but forgot to tidy what’s inside.
The years had tainted your every corner
with the torture that you’d inflicted on every visitor.
And now I look back and think
what a fool you were to think
that you could conquer a queen’s kingdom like mine.
What a fool.
OceanofPDF.com
You waltzed your way into my life
when you knew that the entry was forbidden.
I never knew that love could be forced
into a human’s heart