ROCKSTAR

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ROCKSTAR Page 19

by Lauren Rowe


  Dax emerges from my legs, smiling. His face is flushed. His lips shiny. He’s stunning. He says, “I thought I remembered how good you taste. How hot you are when you come. But my memories were nothing but a blurry snapshot. This, right here, this is living color. This is high def.”

  Again, my heart feels like it’s exploding with joy. But I run my fingers through his hair and say the responsible thing. “We can’t do this, you know.”

  “We just did.”

  “But not for real.”

  He doesn’t reply. And I’m not gonna lie, a jolt of pure elation hits me when he doesn’t agree with my assessment. Could he seriously be considering getting involved with me, despite everything? He probably shouldn’t do it, knowing Caleb. Not to mention Reed. I shouldn’t let him do it... But, oh, God, I want him to do it.

  I close my legs. “I’d better get out there. Reed’s going to wonder where I am pretty soon.”

  “Yeah, my family, too.”

  I hop down from the washer, grab my dress off the floor, and begin getting dressed. “Can I have my undies, please?”

  “They’re mine now.”

  I don’t argue... because, truth be told, I’m insanely turned on knowing my undies are sitting in Dax’s pocket, and that I’m wet and bare underneath my dress.

  I turn my back on him, nonverbally asking him to zip me up—and his fingers slide along my bare back, making me shudder.

  Dax says, “I heard Reed say he wants to introduce you around...?”

  I turn around to face him. “Yeah, he asked me to come as his plus-one tonight so he can introduce me to his friends. That party for Aloha was the very first time I’d entered Reed’s world. Tonight is the second. Now that I’m living in L.A., my brother finally feels ready to merge his ‘two worlds’ a bit. He said he’s excited to introduce me to ‘Josh’s in-laws.’ That’s your family, right?”

  “Yep.”

  “He said he thinks I’ll like them all, but someone named Maddy might be someone I could become friends with here in L.A.”

  “Maddy is my brother Keane’s fiancée. The maid of honor.”

  “Oh, she’s adorable.” I sigh. “Reed is so good to me. I told him the move has been tough on me—that I miss my friends from school. It’s been a lot lonelier moving here than I expected, only knowing three people in town.”

  “Three?”

  “Reed, Miranda, and...” I press my lips together, my stomach tightening. But then quickly decide, screw it, I’ve got nothing to hide or be ashamed of. I’ve been a single woman all this time. “And this guy named Ethan. I’ve been dating him casually since I moved to L.A. But after I saw you last night, and heard ‘Fireflies,’ I drove straight to Ethan’s house and broke it off with him. That’s why I didn’t go to the wrap party. Well, among other reasons. I was also having a nervous breakdown at the thought of being in the same room with you and Caleb again.”

  “Do you love him?” Dax asks, his voice tight.

  “No. It was casual, like I said. And a bad idea. He’s a movie producer. He helped me get an internship my last semester of school, which led to my current gig. I just got hired to work on the design team for one of the movies Ethan’s producing. Being romantically involved with him is a bad idea, since he’s my boss’s boss. Well, actually, he’s my boss’s boss’s boss. But, whatever, none of that matters now because I went to his place last night, after the concert, and told him I want to keep things professional. We weren’t even exclusive, Dax. And he’s got his pick of women. He’s actually quite the ladies’ man. Surely, he’ll survive the rejection.”

  Dax looks upset. “When C-Bomb said you were seeing someone, I was thinking that meant me.”

  I’m instantly too freaked out to address Dax’s misunderstanding, which is actually kind of cute. I blurt, “You’ve talked to Caleb about me?”

  “Whoa. Calm down. He doesn’t suspect anything. He was using me as a sounding board last night at the wrap party because”—Dax grimaces—“he needed a friend. Oh, God, I’m going to hell. Caleb is a good friend of mine. He told me he still loves you, and I said nothing about us.” Dax drags his hands over his face. “And now I just fucked you and ate you out.”

  My heart physically hurts, along with my stomach. What girl wants to see the dude she just fucked looking like this—like he’s full of regret for what he just did? “Yeah, and Caleb is only half of the problem,” I say, feeling defeated. “Don’t forget Reed is my brother.”

  Dax scoffs. “I don’t care about Reed being your brother. He can go fuck himself if he doesn’t like us being together. Caleb, on the other hand? That’s a major complication for me. I mean, he can go fuck himself, too, at the end of the day, if this turns out to be...”

  I can barely breathe. I wait, my heart thumping. But Dax doesn’t finish his sentence. “If this turns out to be... what? Finish your thought.”

  “I don’t know what the end of that sentence should be. That’s why I stopped. Worth it? Worth fucking Caleb over and turning RCR against me and my band?”

  I nod slowly. “Yeah, I think that about covers it.”

  He throws up his hands. “Just being straight with you, Violet. If it turns out this thing between us isn’t gonna last, if it’s not gonna be something lasting or enduring, then I’d sure hate for Caleb to find out about it. Why hurt him if it’s not necessary?”

  I consider that for a moment, and finally nod my agreement. “You’re right. If this thing turns out to be nothing but lust—”

  “It’s not lust. It’s much more than that and we both know it. The question is: how much more?”

  I process that for a beat. “Okay, then, if this turns out to be, I don’t know, infatuation, then I agree it’d be best for everyone, ourselves included, if Caleb never finds out about us.”

  Dax looks tortured. But he nods.

  “Just to be clear, though, Caleb doesn’t own me. He’s not my boyfriend, and I’m not cheating on him. I’m a single woman and I can do whatever I want.”

  “I know that,” he says. “You’ve done nothing wrong. I’m the one who’s betraying a friend.”

  I stare him down. Clearly, this is his decision to make, not mine, and we both know it.

  Dax exhales. “But what if... what if this thing isn’t infatuation? What if it turns out to be... the real deal?”

  My heart skips a beat.

  “If that’s the way this thing ends up,” he says, “then I’m sure as hell not gonna skulk around in secret with you forever. At some point, I’m gonna want to show you off and shout from the highest rooftops you’re mine.”

  My heart is racing now. “So what are you saying? You’re willing to skulk around in secret for a while? Just long enough to determine if this thing between us is something more than infatuation?”

  “Yeah. That’s exactly what I’m saying. I’m willing to skulk around long enough to figure it out.”

  “How long is that?”

  “I don’t know,” he says. “I’ll know it when I get there, I guess.”

  I pull a face.

  “Do you have a deadline?” he asks.

  A deadline? The thought hadn’t even occurred to me. All I know is I want him. And that I’m too far gone now to give him up or not go along with what he’s proposing. In reality, what choice do I have, other than to go along? I want him any way I can get him. But, honestly, I have no idea how long I’ll be willing to pursue this so-called romance of ours in secret. A couple months, maybe? Right now, my answer to whatever Dax is proposing, whatever it is, is yes.

  When I don’t speak, Dax touches my shoulder. “Violet,” he whispers. “I just need a little time to make sure I can trust these intense feelings. It’s a whole lot I’m feeling in a ridiculously short amount of time.”

  I nod. “Yeah, I know. I’m freaking out at the insane speed of things myself. I’m in. Skulking around in secret, it is.”

  He exhales in relief.

  “Although, I’ve got to think ‘skulking in secret’
with you is going to be a tall order. Anywhere you go, it’s fifty-fifty paparazzi or fans will snap photos of you. Last I checked, that ‘Dax in the Wild’ Instagram account had, like, twenty million followers.”

  He looks at me blankly.

  “You haven’t seen ‘Dax in the Wild’? It’s an account dedicated exclusively to fan photos of you, taken ‘in the wild.’” I pull out my phone, swipe into Instagram, and find the account. “See? It’s all you, all the time. If a fan snaps a shot of you, anywhere in the world, they send it to this account and it gets uploaded.”

  Dax looks at my screen and rolls his eyes. “What the hell is wrong with people? Look at this one. I’m just sitting there, drinking a coffee. Oh my God. It’s the same in all of these shots. I’m doing nothing but living my life.”

  I shrug. “People are obsessed with you. Which, I must admit, I can understand. But the point is, if we’re seen in public together, there’s a good chance it’ll take thirty minutes before you’re hearing from Reed or Caleb, or both, asking what the hell you were doing with me. And what will you say? ‘Oh, I, uh, had some questions about costume design’?”

  “Okay, then, we’ll just have to be crazy-careful. We’ll meet in hotels.”

  “Until?”

  “Until one of two things happens: one, we’re both so sure this thing is the real deal, we don’t care who knows about it, or, two, one of us decides they’re done.”

  My stomach clenches at the thought of that second scenario coming to pass. In fact, the idea of it makes me want to burst into tears. I take a deep breath and clear my throat. “Reed being my brother isn’t the big nothing-burger you’re assuming. It’s only slightly less of a clusterfuck than Reed being my boyfriend. After everything that happened with Caleb, Reed told me in no uncertain terms not to get involved with any of his artists, ever again. When I went to Reed’s party for Aloha, he even showed me photos of the guys coming to the party so I’d know to stay away from them.”

  “He didn’t know Fish, Colin, and I were coming. Like I told you, we were at the party through our friend, Zander.” Dax crosses his arms over his chest. “Why the hell does Reed care who you mess around with? He’s your brother, not your keeper.”

  “Reed doesn’t care if I date, in general. He’s not a lunatic. But the guys signed to his label are off-limits. If someone on Reed’s label were to treat me like shit or use me or, God forbid, break my heart, Reed says he’s not sure he’d be able to keep himself from going scorched earth on the guy’s ass, and he really doesn’t want to be put in that position. When Caleb broke my heart, Reed wanted to ruin his life until I convinced him not to do it. That’s why I interrogated you at the party about how you got through the front door: because I’d promised Reed I’d stay away from his artists.”

  Dax sighs. “I didn’t tell you about my band being signed to Reed’s label because I wanted you to like me for me.”

  “Well, mission accomplished.”

  We share a smile.

  Dax says, “I did my own interrogation of you, too, you might recall. I wanted to make triple sure you weren’t connected to Reed in some way. The last thing I wanted was to get involved with a girl Reed had dated or had his eye on.”

  I roll my eyes. “I didn’t mention I was Reed’s sister because I thought you were an aspiring musician, and I didn’t want you to pretend to like me to get to Reed.”

  “Oh, man.” Dax shakes his head and smiles adorably. “We were quite the pair that night, huh?”

  My heart skips a beat at his beautiful smile. “Yes, we were.” I bite my lip, overwhelmed by that bursting feeling in my heart. “So, are you willing to give this a whirl, even if it means at the end of the day, you might wind up pissing off both Caleb and the head of your record label?”

  “I don’t care about Reed.”

  “Well, I do. If things don’t go well between us at some point, I don’t want the added pressure of feeling like I’ve somehow screwed up your career.”

  “I have no particular desire to tell Reed what’s going on with us,” Dax says. “It’s none of his business. Plus, I don’t want Reed saying anything to Caleb.”

  “Reed wouldn’t betray me by saying something to Caleb. My brother loves me.”

  Dax’s face softens. “Of course, he does.” He touches my face. “I meant I don’t want Reed saying something off the cuff, without realizing the implications. That’s all I meant.” He looks deep into my eyes. “Violet, I can’t stand the thought of you with someone else. I need this thing between us to be exclusive. I want you all to myself, and you’ve got me the same way. Roger?”

  My heart is exploding in my chest. I feel vaguely faint. “Roger.”

  He flashes me a radiant smile. “No, sweetheart. In my family, the required response to ‘Roger’ is ‘Rabbit.’”

  I giggle. “Rabbit.”

  Dax looks giddy. He pecks my lips. “I’ll book a hotel room for this entire week. After the wedding, go to your place and pack whatever you need for a week and meet me there. I’ll text you the info.”

  My breath catches. “You want me to stay with you for a whole week?”

  Dax pulls out his phone. “No, I need you to stay with me for a week. What’s your number so I can text you the hotel info?”

  I tell it to him, and two seconds later, receive a text from him: Hello, Hitwoman Elvis Disco Momma. You’re gorgeous and delicious and I can’t wait to eat your pussy again.

  Laughing, I say, “You’d better put me into your contacts with a code name. We don’t want anyone peeking at our text messages and figuring us out.”

  “I’m one step ahead of you. I’ve already given you a code name.”

  I tap some buttons, saving Dax’s number into my phone. “Okay, I saved you in my contacts as ‘DJ.’ What’s my secret name?”

  Dax grins. “You can’t guess?”

  I shake my head.

  Dax drags his teeth across his lower lip and smiles adorably. “Firefly.”

  Chapter 29

  Dax

  “Wait fifteen minutes before you come out,” Violet says, smoothing her hands down the front of her silver dress. “From now on, this is nothing short of a covert military operation.” She flashes me a naughty smile. “We’re fuck-spies on the run, baby. Ooh. That’s kinda kinky, huh?” With that, she winks and slips out the door of the laundry room, leaving me smiling from ear to ear.

  A minute later, my phone buzzes with a text from Kat.

  Where the FUCK are you?

  I pause. I probably shouldn’t tell Kat the truth, seeing as how Violet and I just decided we’re “fuck-spies” and all. But then again... Kat’s my confidante, and I’m hers. We’re the Wonder Twins. Kat’s certainly told me plenty of stories about felony-stupid fuckery she’s engaged in, just because she couldn’t resist. Yeah, fuck it. I can’t keep something this awesome from my sister.

  I’m in Reed’s laundry room, hiding out for a few minutes so nobody suspects I was just in here making out with a purdy girl.

  WHAT?!! WHO?!!!!

  Come here and I’ll tell you...

  I describe the laundry room’s location and two minutes later, the door flies opens.

  “Did some valet parker slip you a note as you walked in?” Kat says, her blue eyes sparkling. “Or was it a bartendress? Who, who, whooo?”

  “Shut the door behind you, owl girl. And no to both.”

  Kat shuts the door and bounces toward me, and I help her up onto the dryer to sit next to me, our thighs touching and our legs dangling off the machine.

  “Okay, Blabbermouth,” I say. “What I’m about to tell you is one thousand percent confidential. Highest-level top secret. Roger?”

  “Rabbit.”

  “You can’t tell anyone, not even Josh.”

  Kat rests a palm on her heart and raises her other hand. “I swear, on our Wonder Twin powers, to keep this secret.” She lowers her hand. “Although, we both know I’ll break down and tell Josh in the throes of passion.”


  I laugh. “You can’t tell Josh. Especially not Josh. He’s too close to the enemy.”

  “The enemy? What the heck does Josh have to do with this?”

  I pause. “Five minutes ago, I was making sweet love to a beautiful girl named Violet in this laundry room—against that very washing machine. A girl named Violet who’s none other than Reed Rivers’ little sister.”

  “Holy shit.” Kat laughs. “Okay, first off, thank you for sitting me atop the dryer. And second off, I didn’t even know Reed had a sister!”

  “Half-sister, actually. They share a father. And, oh, God, Jizzy Pop, she’s the hottest girl who ever lived.”

  “But is she intriguing?”

  “She is. Very much so.”

  Kat giggles. “Holy Rock Star Perks, Batman. Talk about using your newfound celebrity status to your fullest advantage.”

  “No, you dork. I didn’t just meet some intriguing girl at a wedding and, five minutes later, bang her in a laundry room. I already knew Violet from before the tour.” I briefly tell Kat the Story of Violet, including the unfortunate complication I learned last night.

  “Holy hell,” Kat says. “You’re playing with fire here, Daxy. Careful you don’t get burned.”

  “Violet and I have already agreed to skulk around in secret for a while—you know, like classy people do—until we’re sure it’s worth it to both of us to blow shit up. I mean, in reality, Violet and I barely know each other. All we know is we can’t keep our hands off each other and we’re both dying to get to know each other a whole lot better.” I smile. “Inside and out.”

  “Just be careful, Dax. No sense unleashing the kraken for a fling. A hot fling, it sounds like, but, still.”

  “I got this. We’ve decided we’re fuck-spies on the run.”

  “So what will happen if it becomes more than a fling? What then?”

 

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