by Smith, T. O.
I got up off of the bed ignoring my parents' protests. "You guys need to go. I need to get a shower and talk to Cole."
My mom left the room, giving me worry filled eyes. My dad stood up. "Amelia, watch yourself. Cole isn't that stable at the moment. Be careful."
He walked out of the room and I got into the shower. I turned the shower onto a very gentle spray, since the normal setting would hurt my body. When I got out, I got dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. I shrugged on my leather jacket, leaving my cut behind. Normally, it was automatically on my jacket and I would just shrug on my jacket, but I took it off. I couldn't wear it right now, not knowing that I had a hand in Heather's brutal death.
I slid on my boots and walked out of the room. I did my best to cover the cuts and bruises on the rest of my body, but since I didn't wear makeup, my face was just going to be seen.
I walked into Cole's room without knocking. He was sitting on the edge of his bed in just jeans, his upper body bare. He held a bottle of Jack in his hand. When he looked up at me, he glared. "Do you know how Heather was killed?" He asked me, not bothering to beat around the bush.
I turned my face away from him and felt a tear run down my face. "I'm so sorry, Cole." I whispered. "Fuck, it was all my fault."
He stood up and walked over to me. He set the bottle down and grabbed my chin. I immediately yanked my face out of his hand, panic ensnaring my chest. I slapped his hand away, glaring at him. He stared at me for a few seconds before reaching forward again. He gripped my chin a little gentler and turned my face towards him. "Amelia, I'm not going to hurt you.” He murmured, his voice a little more controlled than it had been when he first spoke to me. “I just want to know how she was killed. Fuck, I deserve to know."
"H-He raped her and beat her." I choked back a sob, a tear slipping down my cheek. "Then, because she was making too much noise, he shot her, clean through the forehead." More tears ran down my face, remembering how I heard the story while I was forced to suck his dick until he got off, and the painful memory of seeing her body for days. "He fucked her dead body afterwards." I whispered.
Cole held my face in his hands, his eyes searching mine. "Did you watch all of that?" He asked me. I shook my head no in answer to his question. "Then how do you know this?" He questioned, his voice soft as he ran his eyes over my face.
I squeezed my eyes closed. Fuck, I just wanted to block it all out. I thought I could tell him; I thought I could answer all of his questions, but it was too fucking hard to relive all of that again, over and over, in my mind.
"Amelia, answer me." He demanded.
"I was forced to suck his dick while he told me the story." I said, my voice shaky from my tears and the emotional roller coaster that I was riding on.
Cole pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly. I tried to fight against him, knowing that him holding me was only going to cause the gate holding my tears in to open wide. He held me tighter, not letting me go and eventually, I gave in to my emotions. I broke down and sobbed, feeling my tears run down his chest. "I couldn't save her Cole." I sobbed. "I'm so sorry. When he opened the trunk, I had just woken up and she was lying beside me. She was so cold-.”
Cole cut me off by shhing me. "Don't." He murmured. "You've said enough. You don't need to say anymore."
I ignored him. I had to tell him. "She was in the same room with me for three days." I choked out. "Fuck, Cole, I could smell her rotting. I'll never forget that smell. I don't know how many times I watched him and his men touch her and fuck her over and over. She was so innocent and they took that away from her. It was all my fault. I could have just told you what was going on from the start, what they were doing to me, and what they were planning, but I was so fucking stupid-."
Cole pulled my face back from his chest, forcing our eyes to connect. "Amelia, this is not your fault, okay? None of this is your fucking fault. Jesus, he beat you and raped you, Amelia. You're a victim in this. You had nothing to do with Heather's death. As much as everyone here wants to blame you for that, you can't be blamed. My family is at fault for letting her take off during one of her tantrums."
I pushed away from him, and my back collided with the wall. I winced in pain, a sharp breath hissing through my lips. I didn’t want to hear this shit.
"Amelia, you can't say this was your fault. For fuck's sake, have you even seen yourself? You're in worse shape than she looks and she's fucking dead!" Cole yelled at me, getting aggravated, his temper flaring. "You've got to stop this. Admit that you're a fucking victim, Amelia. Over and over again, he's done this shit to you, but you keep it fucking bottled up inside-."
"I kept it inside because I thought it was better for everyone else, when in reality-."
He cut me off again. "No!" Cole roared, storming away from me and clenching his fists tightly. I watched the muscles in his back bunch together as his body tensed from the anger he was feeling. "You kept it in because that bastard terrifies you!"
"He does not!" I yelled back at him, getting fed up with this. Why couldn't he see that Heather's death was my fault? Why was he trying to make it out to be that I was innocent?
Cole stormed back over to me. "He does, and you know it, Amelia! You fucking push it aside because you think that fear makes you weak, but for fuck's sake, Amelia, you're the strongest fucking person I know! I don't know anyone in this club who could go through the shit you've been put through and still stay together!" He roared.
"I'm not even together!" I screamed, tears running down my face. "I'm fucking breaking, Cole!"
He wrapped his large, calloused hand around the back of my neck and kissed me. No matter what I've been through, I kissed him back. No matter what, I knew Cole would never hurt me. He would do everything in his power to protect me.
"You're still together, Amelia." He whispered against my lips. "If you were really falling apart, trust me, I'd be the first person to know, probably before you even knew yourself."
More tears streamed down my face. "Why her, though, Cole?" I sobbed. "Why did he have to choose to kill Heather?"
"Even though he knew he could get to me through you, he wanted to affect the entire club, mainly my parents. Your death would not devastate them, but Heather's would. He did exactly what he wanted to accomplish."
I looked at the half drank bottle of liquor on Cole's nightstand. How is it that even though he's drank, I still believed and trusted in everything he said?
"Come on. Let's lay down and go to sleep. We'll talk more in the morning." He murmured.
After lifting me up into his arms, he carried me over to his bed and laid me down. However, instead of the peaceful sleep I was sure Cole was hoping I would get, I tossed and turned all night, tormented by the images and flashbacks of what I endured with that bastard and seeing Heather's dead body beside me for so many days.
~*~*~
Cole's POV
I didn't get a wink of fucking sleep last night. I was up most of the night trying to keep Amelia still, and when she started screaming in her sleep, it was almost impossible to wake her up. This shit was affecting her badly and tearing her up inside.
Amelia was currently sitting at a table in the bar room eating some food. She had told me she wasn't hungry, but I told her if she didn't eat the food, I would shove it down her throat. I guess she believed me and proceeded to eat.
I walked into the meeting room that afternoon. Everyone was in their normal seats. "Cole, you look like you didn't sleep a wink. If you need someone-." My mom began.
I cut her off. I didn't need anyone. I missed Heather very much. There was no denying that, but everyone around here was blaming Amelia for it, when they hadn’t even seen what she looked like. It was fucking wrong and something needed to be done about it.
"I don't need anyone. I've got all of the fucking comfort I need." I spat at her.
"You're finding comfort with the woman who's to blame for Heather's death!" My dad roared.
Luke opened his mouth to speak, but I spoke first. "S
he had nothing to do with Heather's death!" I roared. "For fuck's sake, have you even taken two seconds to look at Amelia?! She looks worse than Heather, and Heather's fucking dead!"
I would force him to look at her of that's what it took.
I stormed out of the meeting room and walked over to Amelia who was staring at me with wide eyes, obviously hearing the commotion from the meeting room. "Come on, babe."
I grabbed her hand in mine and we walked into the meeting room. My dad clenched his jaw when he saw her. "Amelia, who did this to you?" He asked her once he looked over her face, seeing all of the cuts and bruises that covered her skin.
"Who do you think?" She spat at him.
She still felt bad that Heather was dead and it was affecting her in a different way than it was affecting the rest of us, but she no longer felt that she was at fault, which I was glad of. Now, she was just sad and pissed off all at the same time. That was never a good thing, because she preferred to channel her sadness into anger, which made her a lethal ticking bomb.
My dad got up and stormed over to us. Amelia cowered back immediately, her eyes widening in fear. I stood in front of her, pushing her against my back and glared at my dad. I wouldn't allow him to scare her.
"Back off." I spat at him. "She's been through enough shit. She doesn't need you fucking crawling all up her ass. You need to be sensible and calm until she works through what happened to her, do you understand me?"
"How are we to know that she needs to work through shit if we don't know what the fuck happened?!" He hollered. "For fuck's sake, Cole, we know who killed Heather. It was the same fucking bastard that raped Amelia the last time she went missing! How is she not at fucking fault for this?! Because of her careless ways, she brought this shit upon the clubs!"
Amelia shoved me to the side, sending a right hook against my dad's jaw. Any other time, I would have been insanely proud of her, but we were all too worked up over this entire situation.
"I get this was my fucking fault." Amelia spat at him. I guess my talk didn't get through to her, then. She was just masking the guilt in her eyes, but I could see it now as she spoke out loud about what happened once again. "I don't need you rubbing it in my fucking face, do you understand me? I've learnt my lesson from this shit. Seeing her lying beside me naked in the trunk of his car cut me deep enough. How do you think I fucking felt when I was forced to spend every fucking day that I was missing in the same fucking room with her rotting body? How do you think I felt as I watched them touch and rape her dead body over and over and I couldn't do anything about it because I was chained to a fucking pole?! How about when that bastard fucked my mouth relentlessly and at the same time told me his fucking story of how he raped and killed her?!"
My dad slapped her. I slammed him against the wall by his neck before he could say a word to her. Amelia took off running out of the room. I would catch up with her later. Right now, I had shit to tend to.
"Are you insane?!" I roared, the muscles bunching in my arms with the anger I felt. "Is this what we've become, fucking blaming people and hurting women of the club just because we're caught up in our own fucking misery?!" I punched him in his nose with my free hand, feeling his nose break under my hand. He moved to shove me away from him, but I tightened my grip on his neck, cutting off his airflow. My mother pulled on my shoulders, yelling at me to let him go, but I held tight, unmoving. "This is fucking bullshit! Ever since Amelia turned herself into this person that frightens us all by the way she doesn't give a fuck, both clubs have turned their backs on her, but yet still want her to do the work their too fucking afraid to do themselves?! All of you fucking make her bend over backwards to your fucking will, and even though she's not one of the fucking girls in this club, but an actual woman who works alongside us, she still does her best to please each of us! Yet, nobody is willing to fucking listen to her, and all you want to do is fucking beat on her!”
"Cole, you're going to kill him!" My mom yelled in my ear.
I let him go and he collapsed to the floor, holding his throat. I kicked him in his ribs and he grunted in pain. I knelt down and grabbed his cut, yanking him up so his face was level with mine. "If you ever lay your fucking hands on her again, I'll cut them off and make you eat them, do you understand me?"
I dropped him and my mom stared at me with wide eyes. I knew I'd stepped into something that I'd never be able to turn away from. I'd lost my sister, had the woman I cared about brutally beaten and raped, her memory scarred, and now I'm turning my back on my family and the clubs. Until they got their shit together, though, I had to get the fuck out of here. I was taking Amelia with me.
"I'm fucking riding out today." I spat down at my dad, ignoring my mother trying to say something. "Until you all get your fucking heads back on straight, I'm gone. I'm taking Amelia with me. I won't keep her around a place where she's never going to be allowed to heal."
Luke did something he's never done to me before. He hugged me, clapping me on the back. "Take care of her, please, Cole. She needs to get far away from here, and I know you can protect her. Get her out as soon as possible."
I nodded curtly, turning on my heel to walk out of the meeting room, going to find Amelia.
Eight
We parked our bikes outside of a motel three hours away from the clubhouse. Amelia hadn't hesitated in leaving with me. She wanted out of there badly. I didn't know her real reasons, but if I had to guess, I would say it was because she didn’t want to be around the place Heather used to walk around and where Heather practically lived at sometimes.
I slid off my bike and grabbed my bag off the back of it, walking to the office. Amelia continued to sit on her bike. She hated the process of getting a room; I remembered that much from when we used to ride together.
Man, those were the days, I thought, smiling to myself.
Once I had the key to our room, I walked back outside, finding Amelia arguing with a group of guys who were wearing cuts of another club. My face twisted into a scowl. I didn’t like the thought of my girl being threatened.
"You tell your fucking president that I don't have shit to do with that. For fuck's sake, this is my first time being outside since near the beginning of the fucking week. I didn't fucking blow up your goddamn warehouse!" She yelled, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration.
I stepped up behind her, placing my hand on her lower back. "Problem here, men?" I asked quietly, my tone holding a thousand promises of pain if they dared touch her.
"Yeah, your girl here blew up our fucking warehouse and we want revenge." One of the men snapped at me.
I looked at their cuts, noticing they read Reapers. I sighed in irritation. "Guys, do you even realize who the fuck you're talking to and accusing? Jesus Christ, you're accusing Amelia of the Black Skulls." I sighed in exasperation.
The Reapers and the Black Skulls have had an alliance for years now, and I knew in the past they had called on Amelia for help in retaliation since she wasn’t afraid to get caught up in bad shit. I guess her face was fucked up enough to the point they didn’t recognize her.
One of the men shined a flashlight on her face and she cursed, knocking the light of his hand. "Shit, girl, what happened to you?" The president asked, stepping forward and gripping her chin in his hand to examine her face.
I forced myself not to break his nose – or worse, his jaw. I didn't want anyone touching my Amelia. He pulled her into the circle of his arms and I yanked him off of her. I drew the line there. I would be damned if he got touchy-feely with my girl.
I glared at him. "Keep your fucking hands to yourself." I spat at him.
"Cole, chill out." Amelia snapped at me, glaring up at me. "Kyle has done nothing but look out for me. When I ran off for space, I went to his club. He made sure I was looked after."
I returned her glare. She wasn't going to fool me easily. He had the look of a man that's had a real nice fucking feel of her before. "Oh, I'm sure he's had you looked after." I ground out through my clenched t
eeth. "I'm sure he's fucked you, hasn't he?"
"Actually, I have." The president told me, a cocky smirk resting on his face.
I didn’t restrain myself that time. I slammed my fist into his face. Guns were drawn on me instantly, but I didn't give a fuck. Who in the hell did he think he was to rub his fucking relations with Amelia in my fucking face? He deserved a hell of a lot more than a fucking broken nose!
"Cole!" Amelia shouted at me. "For fuck's sake, what are you doing?!"
I grabbed her by the arm and glared at everyone pointing guns at me. "Put them down. If you shoot me, you're starting a war with the Black Skulls and the Bloody Royals."
"Fuck, you're that Cole?" The vice president asked.
I rolled my eyes. Could they be any dumber?
"You couldn't tell by the cut?" I snapped at him. "You fuckers are stupider than I first fucking thought."
I dragged Amelia away and we went to our motel room. I let her go once we entered. I proceeded to slam the door closed behind me. Dropping my bag onto the floor, I stormed off towards the bathroom. I was so fucking pissed and I couldn't release that anger on Amelia like I normally did with other women. Fuck, she had to recover, I reminded myself.
I just needed a fucking shower.
"Just where in the hell do you think you're going?!" Amelia hollered to my back.
"To take a fucking shower. Sit down, watch tv, and shut the fuck up." I ground out through clenched teeth, continuing on my walk to the bathroom.
She grabbed my arm and yanked me around to face her, glaring at me fiercely. Fuck, she was so goddamn hot when she was worked up. All I wanted to do was bury myself deep inside of her and listen to her moan my name over and over.
"You know I don't take damn orders, Cole. What in the fuck is wrong with you? You almost killed your dad today, and then you left the clubs. When Kyle said he had slept with me, you fucking punched him in the face. Now, you're pissed off and ordering me around? What the fuck is going on with you?!" She finally began yelling at the end.