by Roxie Ray
I raised my eyebrows. Terra-pods crashed on the surface all the time, and were inevitably brought back as twisted wreckage, along with their pilots. It was unheard of for one of the workers to not only make it through such an accident without injury, but get those useless hunks of junk in the air again.
Then again, it was also unheard of for anyone to fly as many terraforming shifts as Suzanne had without dying, so I supposed I shouldn't have been surprised that she'd somehow pulled off such a miracle.
If she'd managed to defy the odds so brazenly, maybe I could, too.
At least, that's what I told myself.
When the lights-out alarm droned above us, Suzanne and I stood outside our cell to be counted. I risked one last look at Surge, standing across the unit in front of his own cell – and saw that he was looking at me too. That same hunger was in his eyes again. That look that was almost like a kind of recognition.
Then we were hustled into our cells, and the doors slid shut.
“I heard you had quite an adventure today,” I said to Suzanne as I climbed up into my bunk.
She shrugged. “Just another day in paradise, right? Anyway, I’m beat – good night. Hope Karaak doesn't decide to give you any nightmares.”
He already has, I thought.
Thankfully, though, when I finally drifted off to sleep, Karaak stayed out of my mind. I took that as a good sign. If he truly suspected me, he'd be prying into my dreams, right?
Unless, of course, he was trying to lull me into a false sense of security so I'd drop my defenses.
I had no way of knowing for sure.
My sleep was interrupted at one point, though – by a persistent scraping sound coming from the lower bunk. Some kind of intergalactic rodent or insect? What kind of alien vermin might we be sharing a cell with?
I poked my head down over the side of my bunk to investigate, expecting to see some multi-legged horror with clicking mandibles and twitching antennae skittering across the floor.
Instead, the scraping sound stopped abruptly. All I could see was Suzanne curled up under her thin blanket, her face turned toward the wall.
“Suzanne?” I whispered. “Did you just hear something?”
“No,” she groaned sleepily.
I waited a few more moments, then pulled my head back up and settled into my bunk again. The thought of gruesome extraterrestrial rats or roaches was unsettling, to be sure... but I had plenty to worry about already.
7
Surge
I was deeply frustrated that I was unable to extricate myself from the other Sives so I could talk to Paige after her shift. The truth was, it hadn’t occurred to me that being the boss of a gang would be such a demanding job.
There were dozens of Sives in unit seven, and they brought messages and requests from hundreds more all over the prison. It seemed like none of them were capable of making any decision for themselves, no matter how small. They wanted specific items of contraband. They wanted more rax. They wanted weapons. They wanted permission to do business with other inmates, or kill them over grievances.
And now that I'd seized control of them all, it was my duty to give them my full attention. If I seemed too uncertain or dismissive, they could just as easily turn on me.
Not only that, but I knew that keeping an eye on Umel was a full-time job in itself. I wasn't naive enough to believe that he'd simply give up leadership of the Sives and fall in line. From the way he kept eyeing me balefully, I knew I'd have to deal with him on a more permanent basis eventually.
The hell of it was, I couldn't just kill him and get it over with, no matter how much easier it would make things for me. The other Sives had seen him give over control of the gang to me. If I took his life, they'd think it was without provocation... and it was a grave sin for one Sive to kill another without a good reason. So instead, I had to wait for him to make the first move.
I bitterly missed the relative simplicity of short-term espionage and assassination.
When I woke up the next morning, I waited for Kuhlii to leave the cell, then retreated to a corner and used a series of precise mental commands to activate the implants in my skull. Within seconds, a holographic image of Dhimurs appeared in my peripheral vision. It was quite blurry, but still a welcome sight.
“It's good to hear from you, Surge.” His voice crackled with static in my inner ear. “Were you able to make contact with Paige?”
“Yes, and she's agreed to assist us.” I kept my own voice as quiet as possible so I wouldn't attract attention. The last thing the Sives needed to see right now was their new leader crouched alone and muttering to himself. It might be enough to make them doubt my sanity and overall competence.
“Excellent. What are your initial impressions?” he asked.
“She seems intelligent and capable. She's got some trepidation, of course, which is natural under the circumstances. But I believe she has reservoirs of strength and determination that she hasn't explored yet. I'm confident she'll be a capable agent.”
“That's good to hear,” Dhimurs replied slowly, “but I was asking about the mission in general.”
Yes. Of course he was. I should have realized that.
“So far, things are going as planned. I've taken over the Sives, and gained the allegiance of a jailer named Korkos. You'll need to transfer four hundred rulas into his account every week... I'll procure the account codes for you. The reports of prisoner abuse do not appear to have been exaggerated. From what I've heard, the terraforming casualties seem to be massive... definitely in excess of what would be considered normal for an operation such as this.”
He nodded. “And Karaak? Are you any closer to learning his true intentions?”
I snickered. “I've only been here for a day, Dhimurs.”
“Yes, you have,” he said with a smile. “Which is twice as long as I'd expect a capable spy like you to take to carry out your mission. I've seen you in action, remember? I know how good you are.”
I knew he was needling me good-naturedly, as he often did. But this time, I wasn't in the mood for it. I was too restless and distracted.
He must have sensed this on some level, because he seemed to be peering at me more closely. “Surge, is there something wrong? Something you're not telling me?”
“No.” For a moment, it looked like he was going to press the point, so I hurriedly added, “I should discontinue this transmission as soon as possible. I cannot risk being discovered.”
“Very well. But exercise extreme caution, old friend. The empire can't risk losing an operative as valuable as you.”
He cut off the transmission before I could say anything more.
No. I supposed I was too important to waste, wasn't I? In the end, though, even with Dhimurs' friendly concern, it was hard for me to think of myself as anything more than a resource, a tool, no different from a weapon or a vessel. Valuable, perhaps, but ultimately replaceable. Barely even a person.
I stood up, straightened my uniform, and peered out of my cell. When I finally made eye contact with Paige, I inclined my head slightly, gesturing for her to come speak with me. She nodded and walked over to my cell. As she did, I saw several of the Sives smile and nod appreciatively.
Perfect.
They obviously thought that as the new boss, I was starting off my day with a brief visit from my new plaything.
Part of me wished I was – and not a small part, either, but I wrestled it under control.
Paige stepped into my cell and I pulled her into the corner with me, folding my arms and wings around her. Hopefully, this would be enough to keep up appearances. This time, she didn't ask me why – but from her body language and the faint blush creeping up into her face (which was almost nose to nose with mine), I got the sense that she wanted me to go a little further to maintain the illusion for the others.
Or was that simply wishful thinking on my part?
“What did you learn from the bodies?” I asked, dipping my head down to speak in her ear.
She sighed. I felt her breath on my face, my skin, and a tingle rippled through me all the way to my wingtips.
“Not as much as I would have liked,” she said. “Karaak came in and interrupted me. I got the sense that he was suspicious of my reasons for taking more time with the corpses than usual.”
“I am certain you are mistaken,” I replied, trying to sound reassuring. I couldn't afford to let her lose her nerve now that there was a real chance of getting answers. “You are understandably anxious – it's perfectly natural for someone in your position to think that you're being watched more closely than you actually are. I've seen the same thing in many other operatives I've recruited to assist me. The best thing to do is keep your head down and focus on the work so you won't become distracted and paranoid. Now, what did you find?”
“There were three,” she began. “A Manaean, a Kroteian, and a human.”
From the sound of her voice, she was trying to internalize what I'd told her and summon up as much courage as possible. I admired that. I'd dealt with plenty of other contacts who, at the first sign of trouble, would whine and break down and insist that they couldn't help me anymore.
The resilience of Earthlings, it seemed to me, had been vastly understated.
“The Kroteian was burned to a crisp in his terra-pod crash,” she went on. “But the Manaean and the human didn't sustain any burns at all. From the patterns of their wounds, it appears as though they both bled to death. But that doesn't make any sense, right? Terra-pod collisions almost always result in the fuel cells igniting and charring the pilots. So why didn't these two?”
As she mused about this, she bit her lower lip pensively. The gesture was so effortlessly seductive and endearing that it made me want to bite her lip, too... and keep biting with gentle persistence, down her chin, her neck, her chest...
No. No time for such fantasies. No time to give in to these temptations, no matter how strong they were. I had to focus on what she was telling me, so I could put the pieces together and get both of us out of here.
I thought this over for a moment, and then snapped my fingers. “The blood.”
She frowned, confused. “What about it?”
“To you humans, blood is little more than the fluid suspension that carries oxygen and nutrients to the various parts of your body,” I explained. “In fact, this is true of most races throughout the galaxy. But we Valkredians understand that there is a primal, fundamental power in blood. Beyond the fact that we consume it to survive, we revere it as a source of energy tied to the cosmos itself. Blood contains many of the same minerals that were released in the initial explosion of matter that created the universe. It's the stuff of stars, of the very fabric of existence as we know it.”
As I spoke these words aloud, I couldn't help but think of the blood that was pumping and flowing through Paige's magnificent body, and what it would taste like on my tongue if we were to bond.
But had I accidentally frightened or upset her with all this talk of blood? We Valkredians could be sentimental about such things, but from what I knew of humans, they tended to be squeamish when it came to their own blood.
Instead of being disgusted or put off, though, she actually looked intrigued.
“Wow,” she said. “I never considered that. It's kind of a beautiful way to think about it, actually. But what could that have to do with Karaak's plan?”
“As a Lunian, Karaak has intimate knowledge of the esoteric forces of the universe and how they affect each other. He probably needs the blood to conduct some spell or ritual. No doubt he rigged the terra-pods to rip the occupants' bodies apart on impact and release their blood, rather than incinerate them, which would cauterize the wounds.”
“I guess that makes sense,” Paige said uncertainly. “But why some and not others? If he needs blood so badly, I'd think he'd spill as much as he could get.”
“I'm not sure,” I mused. “But it might have something to do with their astrological signs. Did you write down the data regarding when the dead prisoners were born?”
She nodded, handing me a slip of paper with three dates scrawled on it. I slipped it into my pocket, planning to examine it later.
“You've done very well,” I said. “You should be proud of yourself.”
“Actually, if you want to know the truth, I'm scared out of my mind.” Her voice was trembling, and I could see tears gleaming in the corners of her eyes. “I keep thinking about the look in Karaak's eyes when he came to see me, and the condition those bodies were in... that could just as easily be me, you know? If he finds out what we're up to, I could wake up tomorrow to find my name on the manifest for terraforming duty. I'd have no choice but to climb into one of those rigged pods and get torn to shreds.”
She sniffled, wiping a tear away.
“I'm sorry. I guess I'm not as brave as you are,” she added apologetically.
I put my hands on her shoulders, gripping them tightly and looking into her blue eyes – clear and deep, breathtaking, like the azure surface of an ocean. The warmth and softness of her skin was almost enough to make me lose all control and wrap my arms and wings around her, kissing her with abandon, but I strained against the impulse.
“You have tremendous bravery,” I told her. “More than you know. More than many of the contacts I've worked with during missions, in fact. I admire your fortitude, your strength of will in the face of great risk. More than that, I admire how observant you are. A lot of people in your position would have been too frightened to gather the relevant clues or put them together. You are an exceptional woman, Paige.”
She laughed shakily. “I'll admit, that makes me feel a little better. How many missions have you been on?”
I was taken aback by the question. Too many of them, was the answer. A long, cold, bloody lifetime of them, with little to show for it except scars etched on my body and bad memories carved into my brain. “The truth? I lost count a long, long time ago. After a while, most of them tend to blend together.”
“And when you were doing them, were you ever scared?”
“Of course,” I answered quickly. “Anyone in their right mind would be, given the risks involved. But I had no choice. It was my duty to face my fears and get the job done anyway, so I did. Just as you will.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I think you're lying. I don't think you were scared at all. I think you're just telling me you were because you think it's what I need to hear so I'll keep helping you.”
I chuckled. Damn, but she was perceptive.
“I apologize for attempting to deceive you,” I said. “You are correct. I was not scared during any of my missions. But that was only because I felt I had nothing to lose, so I did not fear death.”
“What about your friends? Your family? Weren't you upset by the idea that you'd never have a chance to see them again?”
I briefly considered inventing some false personal history to tell her, as I would have with most of my contacts. My reasoning had always been that the fewer people knew about the details of my real life, the better... and besides, my past was no one else's business.
But those blue eyes were too disarming, too perceptive. For perhaps the first time in my life as a spy, I wasn't sure I could lie convincingly enough. Besides, she was putting her life on the line for me – she deserved to know the truth.
“I have never had a family,” I answered. “I was abandoned by my parents as an infant, and grew up in the service of the empire... first in the military, and then in the clandestine forces due to my unique talent for stealth and infiltration.”
“No wife?” she asked. “Kids?”
I shook my head. “My lifelong obligations to Valkred left me with little time for such relationships. There was always too much to do, too little stability in my life, to forge those types of bonds or act as a decent parent to a child.”
I paused, and then added, “Also, a large part of my job was to remain acutely aware of the many dangers to our empire, our way of life.
.. the threats, the enemies who actively sought to destroy or enslave us. Given the burden of that knowledge, it always seemed unwise to bring offspring into such a perilous and uncertain galaxy.”
“I suppose that's one way of looking at it. But what about friends? Surely you have those?”
“I have fellow warriors whose company I enjoy. I would not, however, classify them as 'friends.'”
“Why not?” She sounded genuinely curious.
I hesitated, pondering the question for perhaps the first time in my life. Dhimurs was a valued comrade, to be sure. And I had nothing but respect and admiration for Akzun. There were plenty of others I'd served with who had left distinct impressions on me as well over the years.
So why had I always kept them at arm's length? Why had I never thought of them as friends?
Deep down, I supposed I knew the answer.
But could I bring myself to say it out loud? Once I did, it would be too late to take it back, to pretend I'd never bothered to ask myself. I'd have to live with it, once and for all.
“Hey, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to,” Paige said. “I'm sorry, I guess these questions are kind of rude and personal...”
“No. Not at all. The truth is, Paige... that I always believed getting that close to anyone would be too great a risk. That if something were to happen to them – or if something were to happen to me during a mission – it would cause too much pain. More than I wished to inflict on anyone.”
She reached up, taking one of my hands in hers. “That sounds like a lonely way to live.”
Her touch was warm and soft. Being this close to her was hypnotic, dizzying, intoxicating. We were only inches apart. It would take no effort at all to close the distance between us... to kiss her for real this time, and not let go.