“I can’t begin to thank you enough for the clothes you bought me,” she told him, “and for all your care and all these supplies.”
Luke shrugged. “It’s the least I could do for the person who saved me from a slow death by choking.” He looked up at her. “I still don’t like you putting all your weight on that leg to mount up, so let me lift you into and out of your saddle the rest of today. This mare is not a tall horse, so it won’t be any trouble.”
Kate shook her head. “You’ve done enough of hauling me around,” she told him. And I’m not sure I could stand the feel of your hands around my waist or the attraction of how easily you lift me.
“Nonsense,” he answered, grinning again. “Do you really think I mind it?”
Kate looked away from his easy smile. “At least let me try to get on and off on my own,” she answered.
“We’ll see how it goes,” Luke said. He walked away to mount his horse.
“Does this horse have a name?” Kate called out to him.
“No idea.”
“Well, I can’t ride a horse without a name. I’ll have to talk to her once in a while.”
The mare snickered and nodded her head, as though she understood what Kate had said. Kate patted the horse’s neck and smiled. “I think I will call her Jenny,” she told Luke. “That’s the name of a neighbor of ours back in Indiana who was the sweetest old lady—gentle and kind and always baking and bringing me pies and cookies. I truly mourned her when she died.” She wiggled more comfortably into her saddle. “I know it sounds silly to a man to fuss over naming a horse, but that’s just how I am.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve never known a woman who wasn’t sentimental about things,” he told her.
And how many women have you known? How many had he turned to after being so hurt by Bonnie? Had there been anyone else who’d interested him enough to consider settling with her? Or had his heart and trust been broken for life?
Luke moved his horse closer beside her. “You really ready for this?” he asked for the hundredth time. “We can wait a couple more days if you aren’t. I don’t want that leg to flare up from too much exertion.”
“I wouldn’t dream of changing my mind now,” Kate answered. “Not after all the work we’ve gone to in order to get everything ready. Besides, the sooner we get to civilization, the better. The thought of sleeping in a real, soft bed is like a wonderful dream.”
Luke nodded. “Can’t argue that one.” He looked back at the three pack horses tied to Red, then gently kicked Red into motion. “Let’s go,” he told Kate. He headed down the steep hill, and Kate followed.
Wait! She wanted to shout. She wanted to look around inside the cave once more, as though she were leaving a fine home where she’d lived for years, never to see it again. She knew it was silly and sentimental, but she wanted to burst out crying at the thought of leaving. Too many things had happened in too short a time. Her world and her plans had been turned upside down. Her parents were gone. Her farm and Rodney’s store were gone. Rodney himself was gone. She didn’t even have a child she could love and through whom she could remember her husband. The people she’d traveled west with were gone, their bodies lying out there somewhere amid burned wagons, probably devoured by wolves and buzzards. And in the not-so-distant future, Luke Bowden would also ride out of her life. If he found someone trustworthy in Lander who could take her on to Oregon in the spring, he might move on by himself to get a little farther west before winter set in.
Never had she struggled harder not to cry. Why on earth wouldn’t the man keep going a bit farther? He had no more obligation to stay with her, even though he’d declared he probably would see her to Oregon himself. Maybe he’d decided that wasn’t such a good idea after all. Or maybe if he stayed the winter in Lander, he’d find some young woman who interested him.
All these changes were such a burden to her heart. She glanced back at the cave once they were down below and heading north. As men came and went, using the cave for whatever reason, none would know that Luke Bowden and Kate Winters had stayed there, two strangers who’d been brought together by fate in this wild, lawless land. She couldn’t even see where Buck was buried, the dirt over his grave now just a part of the landscape. There was no marker.
She’d killed a man, and now he was just another part of the elements out here, a body disappeared into the dust and rocks, missed by no one. Despite what he’d done, she felt bad for him.
Luke, I want to go back, she felt like screaming. Leaving meant she would never have Luke Bowden all to herself again. He would move on, and she needed to realize that and consider moving on herself. It was time to finish what she’d started out to do—go to Oregon. There she would join her brother-in-law and his family. There, she would get over what had happened to her and maybe, just maybe, find a man to marry. There, she would be a woman again and somehow find a life that somewhat resembled what she’d lost back in Indiana.
She stayed far behind Luke for a while, so he wouldn’t hear her soft sobbing or see her tears.
Twenty
Luke noticed details of the landscape that he’d paid no attention to when he first rode to Lander to hunt down his hangmen. He’d been to Lander before, but never through this area until his hard ride there and back a few days ago. He’d headed this way with a raw scar around his neck and hardly able to use his voice. Now the scar was healing, his voice just a little scratchy, and his throat no longer sore—all thanks to Kate Winters.
He owed her so much. Too much, he figured, to ever truly repay her. That left him with these crazy, mixed-up feelings that were keeping him awake at night. Sometimes he saw something in her eyes that made him wonder if she wanted him the way a woman wanted a man for more than just help and protection. He figured she was mostly feeling scared and alone, which caused her to feel dependent on him. It could have been left at that if he’d not been a damn fool and drank last night.
He should have known better. He drank because something inside made him realize he didn’t really want to leave Kate behind in Lander at all. And he drank just enough to stir up neglected manly needs that made her even more desirable than she was when he was sober. Thank God he’d had sense enough to get the hell out of that cave for a while after he’d kissed her.
Trouble was, she hadn’t reacted the way she could and should have. She didn’t push him away. She didn’t seem shocked. In fact, he wondered now that if he’d done more, maybe she would have accepted him. But then that would have meant commitment—and trust. Trust was the hardest of all for him to accept, because he’d vowed never to trust a woman again. And he didn’t even know Kate Winters well enough to know for sure if she could be trusted at all. Her situation only meant that once she was safe and settled, she might regret giving herself to him and look for some other man, or maybe no man at all.
He told himself that it wasn’t right for either of them to trust their emotions in a situation like this. Man or woman, it didn’t matter. Kate Winters was growing too accustomed to having him around for protection and as a provider. He, in turn, was getting too used to the sound of her very soothing voice…too used to the smell of soap on her…the way she felt in his arms…the memory of how she looked naked.
Damned if she didn’t have a beautiful body. She had white teeth, full lips, a slim waist, and pretty legs. And he loved her thick, red hair. And those eyes…blue as a summer sky. She had a lovely shape and small breasts. He’d always liked smaller breasts.
Stop thinking about her that way, he told himself. It’s easy now, but a man shouldn’t care about a woman just because she saved his life. And she shouldn’t care about him just because he happened along when she needed his help the most. People make bad decisions under these conditions.
What if he accepted her into his life and into his heart, and after a time regretted it because he learned something about her he didn’t like? Or there was the very real po
ssibility he could end up a heavy drinker again. She would hate that. And what if these feelings he had were just the result of missing Bonnie…aching for Bonnie…being angry with Bonnie?
No. He wasn’t ready to care about another woman. Maybe he never would be. Kate Winters was just a companion, a woman who’d come along needing help and helped him in return. Seeing her naked had damn well scrambled his reasoning about the whole thing. Holding her in his arms didn’t help either. Last night…watching her sleep…kneeling close and wanting her in every way for their one last night together, that was all due to whiskey. Good God, what a disastrous decision it would have been to act on his desires! Kate would have either knocked him on his ass or demanded marriage. Either one would have mortified him, and the rest of this journey would have been uncomfortable as hell.
Maybe once they reached Lander, he could find someone who’d promise to get her to Oregon next spring. He could pay them and move on…get away from the woman altogether and put her out of his mind.
He looked back at her. Why was she staying clear at the back of the string of horses? “Come on up here where I can keep an eye on you!” he called to her.
Kate continued to lag behind a few more minutes before finally catching up. “I was just enjoying the scenery,” she told him. “I’ve never seen such big country. In a way, a place like this seems to epitomize the meaning of lonesome.”
Luke wrapped Red’s reins around his saddle horn and pulled a cigarette from his shirt pocket as the horse kept up its casual pace. “That it does,” he answered before lighting the smoke. He squeezed the end of the match to make sure it was fully out, then tossed it. “I guess that’s why I liked it out here when I first arrived two years ago. The land seemed to fit how I was feeling. And country like this makes a man feel small, which in turn makes his troubles seem small, too.” Damn! The drift of the wind brought her sweet smell to his nostrils. He should have left her where she was.
“I hope you can get over all those troubles and get on with life, Luke.”
He shrugged, afraid to look at her. Afraid she’d see something in his eyes that she shouldn’t see. “I wish the same for you,” he said. “It will be good for you to be around other women when we reach Lander. There are some good women there, wives and business owners and such. Some are widows like you, so they’ll understand your situation. And don’t be intimidated by the, uh, the kind who live above the saloons. Some of them can be pretty nice and even help you with advice on who to trust. They know the good men from the bad ones.” He looked around, suddenly uncomfortable being so close to her, which was pretty ridiculous, considering he’d been around her for days and had even seen everything there was to see. It seemed as though the closer they got to civilization, the more he realized things would have to change between them. “You might even be able to find a job cooking or baking or something like that for the winter.”
“Maybe. I certainly can’t keep depending on you, and if I stay at a rooming house, I will have to find a way to pay for it.”
Small talk. “There are a lot of men who will need shirts and socks mended, clothes scrubbed. That’s something else that could keep you busy. Just be damn careful, Kate. Most of the men out here can be trusted because there’s kind of a code among them. A man doesn’t abuse a woman, not even the pros—Err, not even the looser ones. Women are rare, and any man who abuses one has to answer to the outlaw code of ethics. These men will rob you blind or kill a man at the drop of a hat, as one barkeep put it to me a few days ago. But abusing the women is punishable any way they choose to make a man pay. There might not be any real law out here, but most men have that basic instinct of what’s right and wrong. Just remember that there will always be those who think a woman is good for only one thing, no matter if she lives over a saloon or is a married lady with kids.”
“I understand. “
“I won’t always be around to look out for you.”
“I understand that, too. Speaking of which, you talked about ways for me to stay busy. How about you? How will you stay busy?” Kate asked.
Luke smoked quietly for several seconds, thinking. “I don’t know,” he answered. “I still have plenty of money. Maybe I’ll be able to work at the stables or tend bar…whatever I can do for a buck here and there. And I’ll still watch out for you, check on you.” God, it’s going to be a long, cold winter.
“I’ll try my best not to be a burden,” Kate told him.
“You’re no burden,” Luke answered. “You keep forgetting I owe you. I’ll always owe you.”
“It’s okay, Luke. And just remember that I can keep doing your mending and such if you need anything like that.” She pointed to mountains on the western horizon. “Are those the Sierras?”
“Rockies. The Sierras are beyond that, and believe me, you don’t want to be caught in any of those mountains in winter. If we stay to the north and go to Oregon next spring, we’ll have to get over the Bitterroots and then the Cascades. If we were to go to California, then we would go through the Sierras after getting over the Rockies. Either way, there will be a lot of mountains to get through when we head farther west.” He drew on his cigarette. “If it’s not me that takes you, I’ll make sure it’s someone who damn well knows what he’s about when it comes to getting through the mountains.”
“Is it possible for us to winter in another town besides Lander? One that’s closer so we have less distance ahead of us come spring?”
“It might be possible. I’ll talk to some of the men in Lander and get their advice, but the safest thing might be for us, or at least you, to stay in Lander.”
Luke noticed Kate didn’t answer right away. He glanced sidelong at her and was surprised to see she was quickly wiping at her eyes.
“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” she said, her voice sounding strained.
“You okay? I didn’t mean to upset you. I mean, if somebody else takes you to Oregon, I’d make damn sure they would be trustworthy and capable.”
Kate sniffed. “I know you would.”
She’s grown too dependent on me. Damn! Luke noticed a prairie hen trotting across their path. “Look there,” he said, glad for the interruption in their conversation. “Supper.” He quickly drew his six-gun from its holster and took aim. He fired, and half the hen’s head flew off. The bird jumped into the air, then flopped to the ground. Luke charged up to it and dismounted. He picked up the hen and carried it over to the first pack horse, tying it to the horse by its feet. He took out his knife and whacked off the rest of its head.
“Letting the blood drain will help keep this thing from spoiling before we make camp tonight,” he told Kate. “I decided to make this an easy trip for you and not ride too hard—figured we’d spend one night out here before reaching Lander tomorrow. I want you to be rested up when we get there, and I want you to be able to put that leg up for a while.” He headed back to Red, then stopped. “Shit,” he swore. “There are men out there watching us.”
Kate looked in the direction Luke did. “Oh my God!”
“Stay calm,” he told her. “They’re probably just friendly passersby.”
Luke walked back to his horse and mounted as five very rough-looking men approached them. “Once they reach us, let me do the talking,” Luke told Kate.
“Be careful, Luke. I’d hate to see something happen to you after all we’ve already been through.”
Luke caught the terror in her voice. “It’s likely they’re after our horses and supplies without killing anybody,” he told her.
“I hope that’s all they want,” Kate answered.
“Just be casual and friendly. And it’s best they think you’re my wife, just like back at the cave when Hank and his men came along. Just go along with whatever I say.”
“If you say so.” Luke carefully cocked his rifle and laid it back across his lap. “Move Jenny closer to my horse.”
“
Gladly.” Kate urged her horse closer to Red. “Should I take out my pistol?”
“Wouldn’t hurt,” Luke told her. “Keep it hidden in the folds of your skirt.”
Kate obeyed.
Luke glanced her way. Why would it feel so natural to call her his wife if he had to? Hell, they’d been living practically like husband and wife already.
“Luke,” she said softly.
“What?”
“If this doesn’t go well, it’s been nice knowing you.”
Luke grinned a little, but his heart went out to her. She’d been through so much already. “Same here,” he answered. “I sure do seem to have trouble holding on to any stock I have, don’t I?” he told Kate in an effort to jokingly keep her spirits up. “First all my cattle, now maybe my horses. I must be in the wrong business.”
“How can you joke at a time like this?”
“What’s left?” Luke steadied his horse as the five men caught up to them. “Might as well go out with a smile.”
“I can think of a lot of reasons not to smile.” Kate took a deep breath and faced the men, all of them intimidating in their appearance, and all well-armed. Poor Luke wouldn’t have a chance if they decided to kill him and take everything—including her.
Twenty-one
“Good-looking bunch of horses you have there,” the apparent leader of the formidable gang of men told Luke. His eyes were on Luke, but the rest of the men were gawking at Kate. Their leader was a burly man with a big belly, a thick beard, and long, uncombed hair. He wore a buffalo-skin coat, even though it was quite warm today.
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