The Happy Glampers

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The Happy Glampers Page 6

by Daisy Tate


  ‘I have a plan. It’s a good plan.’

  ‘It’s not a good plan. Nor does it seem to involve Alf.’

  Izzy fuzzed her lips. ‘Why should it?’

  ‘He’s the father of your child, idiot.’

  That got Izzy’s back up. ‘He doesn’t even know her!’

  ‘So maybe now’s as good a time as any to change that. Go for a weekend. Take a city break.’

  ‘Yeah, right. Oh, hi Alf! Remember that night on the beach ten years ago with the girl with the big hair? Look! We made a mini us. Copenhagen’s brill! Should we go see the mermaid?’ She looked out towards the castle. ‘Besides. There’d be no one to look after Bonzer.’

  Emily’s shoulders scrunched up to her ears in frustration. ‘What’s up with the elephant puppy, anyway?’

  ‘Luna’s pretty wobbly about things.’ She held up a hand so Emily would let her finish. ‘About leaving Hawaii. Starting in a new school. Not knowing anyone. I decided we needed a comfort dog.’

  The two of them were going to need a damn sight more than a dopey-faced therapy puppy if things didn’t go according to Izzy’s so-called plan.

  When they reached Emily’s yurt, Izzy gave her a kiss on the bonce, filling Emily’s nostrils with that crazy almond vanilla scent of hers. ‘Night night, Dr Cheung.’

  Emily made a show of wiping off the kiss and waved goodbye without looking back.

  When she got into the tent and began to undress, she shivered. It was chilly enough that, for the first time in a long while, she actually wanted a good old-fashioned cuddle.

  Easing the quilt out of Callum’s fist, Emily curled up next to him. After an evening playing board games with Luna, then on to an intense-looking ‘what do you do’ talk with Monty, the man deserved a prize. Though he was clearly asleep, he pulled her into a tight, snuggly embrace.

  He was a great snuggler. She mostly hated the whole body-against-body thing. The heat bodies generated. But if, like now, she was facing out and had the bulk of their very large bed as an escape zone, it was actually all right. When Izzy had crawled into her bed back in uni it had driven her bonkers. On a number of levels.

  She let herself be tugged in close to Callum. Feel the steady thump thump of his heart against her back.

  Why hadn’t she just come out with it when she had the chance?

  Told them Callum was just a mate.

  Because. That’s what she did.

  Once she overcame thousands of years of Chinese tradition and told her parents …

  Ping!

  Swear to god her mother had a sixth sense. She tugged the phone across to her.

  Listen. Mr Chang from next door has cousin visiting from China. Hunan Province. Tall. Good idea for you to come for Sunday dim sum.

  She flipped the phone over and took a deep inhalation of cotton, canvas and earth. It was quite cosy, this. Snuggling with someone with all of that fresh air circulating around them.

  Good bed. Soft sheets.

  The quiet.

  It was really, really quiet.

  Almost quiet enough to hear the skittering of a field mouse.

  Instantly, Emily was wide awake again.

  God, she hated camping.

  As they hung their tea towels on the Aga, Freya got the sense Charlotte wasn’t quite ready to go.

  ‘Everything all right?’

  ‘Yes! Of course,’ Charlotte said unconvincingly. ‘Why do you ask?’ She swiped at the perfectly clean counter with a J-cloth.

  ‘Nothing really. I just … I kind of got the sense that everything might not be tickety-boo with Oli.’

  Charlotte looked physically ill. ‘What? No. Everything’s fine. I’m just being a bit funny about turning forty.’

  ‘Don’t be daft. You look as young as you did the day you got married.’

  Charlotte’s smile faltered.

  Ah. It was definitely about Oli. Freya felt that bloom of solidarity that came from discovering she wasn’t the only one wading through the magical wilderness of a long-term relationship.

  Charlotte’s laugh fell flat. ‘Perhaps I’m just a bit worried about tomorrow.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Ohhh. You know …’ She threw Freya a quick glance then set about refolding all the tea towels. ‘My in-laws are coming and all of our friends. I mean … obviously you’re my friends, but these are more Oli and his family’s group. Some of the children’s friends and their parents. They can be a bit cliquey. High expectations always make me a bit edgy.’

  ‘Is this party meant to be for you or for Oli?’

  Charlotte threw her a sharp look. ‘For me, of course. We’d hardly be camping if it was Oli’s party.’

  ‘Well,’ Freya said, ‘I think this place is amazing. Anyone would be hard pressed to find a better venue.’

  ‘Oh, believe me they do.’ In a very un-Charlotte-like move, she began ticking things off on her fingers. ‘So far this year, we’ve been to all of the Soho House venues – private rooms. Babington House. Twice. A château in France. A snowmobile trek to see the Northern Lights with two nights in an ice hotel. Oh. And a weekend at a country estate in Ireland.’ She pulled a small handkerchief out of an invisible side pocket and fretted at its scalloped edging. ‘My children didn’t want to tell their friends. About the glamping. In truth, they didn’t want to come at all. Oli had to bribe them.’

  ‘Oh, Lotte.’ Freya pretended not to notice Charlotte swiping at her eyes.

  How awful.

  Sure. Freya sometimes had rich people envy, but at this moment? She wouldn’t trade places with Charlotte for anything.

  Freya felt an unexpected rush of love for Monty. He might be shit with money, living in a bit of a dream world most of the time with his harebrained schemes for their future (perhaps they should move to the Isle of Mull one day and set up a retreat for burned-out tech entrepreneurs and teach them how to live mindfully), but he was an amazing father and her family loved each other. Not one of them would ever have to be bribed to spend time together. Monty always instilled respect into their kids. Years ago, when Regan was four, she’d had a particularly foul tantrum when Freya had been trying to get out of the house to work. Monty had made Regan FaceTime her on her way to the tube and sing ‘The Apology Song’. It wasn’t a real song. Monty had made it up. They’d also bought her a Tunnock’s Snowball and put it on her pillow after making her toad-in-the-hole for supper. Her faves from home.

  She couldn’t imagine Oliver ever doing the same for Charlotte. She made a silent vow to try and not kick Monty tonight when he began to snore.

  ‘Hey,’ Freya brightened at a memory. ‘I forgot to say, Rocco sends his best.’

  ‘Your brother?’ Charlotte’s features softened.

  ‘The one and only. We rang him on the drive down. I mentioned we were seeing you and he starting dredging up memories from the summer you came up and worked at the fruit farm with me. Remember that?’

  ‘Of course, I do. It was a brilliant summer.’

  Freya squawked, ‘Hardly! We worked our fingers to the bone … oh, wait. You got upgraded to the café, didn’t you?’

  ‘Farm shop. I did the displays,’ Charlotte said, as if it had happened yesterday. ‘And your brother dropped us off and picked us up every single day.’

  ‘Oh, yeah. I’d forgotten that. He’s a good big brother.’

  ‘Yes,’ Charlotte looked lost in a world of her own. ‘Very nice.’

  Freya grabbed a couple of Charlotte’s brilliant homemade biscuits then took a torch out of the ‘general use’ box.

  Charlotte hadn’t moved.

  ‘You sure you’re okay?’

  ‘Perfect.’ Charlotte gave her hand a quick squeeze then shooed her on. ‘Never better.’

  Charlotte had nearly cracked. Told Freya everything. She’d virtually tasted the words in her mouth.

  Oliver’s having an affair. He wants us to stay married. Push on through. I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I want to.

  And tha
t was the problem, wasn’t it? She didn’t know what she wanted. Plenty of women forgave their husbands for indiscretions. Even Beyoncé. There were others, of course, who didn’t. But could you ever move on from betrayal?

  She had no money of her own. No job. Nowhere to go. No friends to turn to – not on her doorstep anyway.

  Oh, it was an impossible situation, and not one she’d imagined having to contend with on her birthday. Not anytime, really, but it did seem particularly unfair to find out now. Her mother would’ve wept with laughter. Shows you, Little Miss Fancy Britches. Always thought you were too good for your own kind.

  Yes. She had been shown. And now she needed to decide how to proceed. She tiptoed up the curved stairwell to the tree house, even though the place was still blazing with light. Perhaps Oli hadn’t been taking a call from her after all.

  She quietly opened the door and looked across to the huge king-sized bed where Oli was skimming through messages on his phone, that telltale smile playing on his lips. The one that said he was in the mood. Her heart lifted. Maybe he really had meant it. About keeping things going. Wanting the best for their marriage. He looked up when she closed the door behind her with little more than a click, met her inquisitive gaze and said, ‘Oh. It’s you.’ As if he had been expecting someone else.

  ‘Hello, darling. Chilly out. Oh, good, you got your coffee.’

  His eyes flicked to the bedside table then back to his phone. ‘Your friends were pretty lairy tonight,’ he said. As if they’d trashed the place. ‘Especially … who is it? The Scottish one. She likes her sauce.’ He mimed glugging a bottle of wine, which was rich given the fumes he was emitting. ‘You’ll keep an eye on her tomorrow, right? Make sure the staff don’t top her up too often?’

  An instruction. So many of their conversations were actually lists of instructions. What was wrong with him? He wasn’t even trying to be different. This wasn’t the behaviour of a repentant man. A husband desperate to make amends. All of her hopeful thoughts that they might be able to go through this marital … calamity … fluttered to her feet.

  She wondered if Oli’s lover was the same as she had once been. In complete awe of him. The power. His physical presence. The confidence. It was his confidence that had really swept her off her feet. He was still every bit as handsome. Every bit as charismatic. Every bit as much in love with her?

  She reached out to him, her heart lurching up into her throat as she asked, ‘Darling, do you think this will all work out?’

  ‘What? The party? So long as your mates behave themselves, I’ve got it all in hand. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.’

  Then he rolled over and turned out the light.

  In that moment, Charlotte resolved to tell her friends everything.

  Chapter Six

  Sleep might have helped. So would flinging her phone into the fire and watching it melt away into nothing.

  As things stood, Charlotte wasn’t in the best frame of mind to host a birthday party.

  Calling it off was out of the question. Too many wheels in motion. The caterers, for example, would be arriving any time now.

  Almost involuntarily, her thumb flicked her phone from the home page to Instagram. Cyber-stalking, it turned out, was rather addictive.

  Xanthe was terrifically young and beautiful. No surprise there.

  Xanthe had well over two thousand followers, could ski, scuba, and loved a quality organic facial.

  Xanthe – she thumbed a bit further down the page – also went out to nightclubs where her husband doled out kisses like lollipops. She looked happy and comfortable. As if it were perfectly normal to have another woman’s husband plant kisses on her dewy young cheek.

  Charlotte pocketed the phone and stared helplessly at the yurts where her friends peacefully slept away.

  As certain as she’d been that she must tell them what was really going on, morning brought with it the dawning realization that if she were to veer off script now she might lose what little traction she had in her marriage. Putting on ‘a good show’ was paramount to the Mayfields. And today, which came complete with the full complement of in-laws, would be no different.

  Mostly because everything seemed one step removed from reality. As if discovering her husband was a cheat had dropped triple-glazing between her and the life she thought she’d been living.

  She remembered the advice that some of the older wives at the law firm had given her in the early days of their marriage; giving her the lowdown on what being a ‘seasoned wife’ meant, and what was in store for Charlotte when Oliver became the youngest partner in his firm. Don’t complain about supper drying out in the oven. It will happen frequently. Never moan about the long days. Those billable hours were keeping her in Chloé and Stella McCartney. And most importantly, don’t fight about the affairs. It was simply how it worked. That will never happen to me, she had thought.

  The affairs, she’d learnt that night, had tiers. The secretaries slept with the junior partners. The junior partners slept with the senior partners. The librarian slept with everyone.

  She took a sip of her tea and watched, through the steam, as the morning sun edged its way from the woodland into the large meadowscape where, soon enough, she’d be celebrating her birthday.

  Forty years old. She’d got her first party-planning job the year her mum had turned forty. They’d not celebrated. Quelle surprise. Forty. So much more grown-up sounding than thirty. Thirty had sounded full of possibility. Forty sounded … forty sounded a bit flat, if she were being perfectly honest. A crossroads.

  Charlotte’s gaze shifted. Freya’s makeshift bunting had grown dewy in the night, causing quite a few of the cranes’ wings to droop, but, if the weather report was anything to go by, the string of origami serviettes would be shifting in a light, sun-soaked breeze by the time the party was under way.

  The whole idea that she was throwing a birthday party suddenly seemed completely ridiculous.

  This morning when she’d come down to put on the coffee, she’d foolishly looked around expecting something, anything, to be sitting out in the kitchen waiting for her. A card. A simply wrapped gift. A flower. But no. There had been nothing except a list of chores written in her own hand.

  For all she knew, Oli had had to bribe the rest of their friends to come as he had the children. Veuve Clicquot and Michelin-starred amuse-bouches standing in for fifty-pound notes.

  … deep breath in …

  All she had to do was get through the next twelve hours. Twelve hours of smiling, greeting, nodding and, perhaps, if she dared, testing just how strong the bonds of her old friendships were.

  Charlotte smoothed her hand across her spreadsheet, willing the detailed layout to act as a balm. Here was her day, laid out before her in black and white, with the odd yellow highlight (she really would have to stay on top of the Watlington boy’s peanut allergy, seeing as how Oli had insisted on a satay-based canapé and there was no guarantee his mother would remember his epi pen or that the catering staff would make an announcement).

  Welcome drinks.

  Nibbles.

  Games for the children.

  The hog roast.

  Cake.

  She pored over the sheet until she could see it with her eyes closed, then, as if someone had flicked a switch, the day began.

  Her phone buzzed. It was a text from Oli. Bacon sarnies ready soon? Need to run into town to get something.

  Someone, more like.

  Well, she thought, her thumb hovering above the Instagram app, happy birthday to me.

  ‘What did you say?’

  Felix glanced nervously over his shoulder. Felix didn’t do conflict. ‘Ummm … Dad’s taking a bath so he told me to ask you?’

  Freya was in danger of turning into a bobble head she was nodding so violently. ‘A bath. I see. Well, that’s bloody rich, isn’t it?’

  ‘I suppose so?’ Felix had never known a bath to be an activity of conflict before. ‘Ummm … can I have some
money?’

  Freya felt the hot rise of anger at her throat. ‘And he told you to ask me for money?’

  Why did Monty do this? Send the children to her for money so she’d have to be the one to say no. She’d told him she only had forty quid and that they needed it to fill the car seeing as they’d already used the electric charge on the hybrid. Bloody London traffic!

  ‘Jack says there’s a shop and they’ve just put out scones and sausage rolls.’ Felix scuffed the dirt with his trainer. ‘I’m hungry.’

  Freya did a quick calculation of the change that might’ve fallen to the bottom of her handbag and came up empty. ‘I’m sorry, darlin’. Charlotte’s making breakfast. We can’t afford fancy extras.’

  Felix looked crestfallen, but tough cheddar. Waking up to not one but two ‘You’ve exceeded your overdraft’ texts from the bank hadn’t set the morning off in quite the whimsical, escape-to-the-country vein she’d been hoping for. Bloody Monty and his bloody largesse. Oli should’ve been the one footing the micro-distillery gin tasting at the pub, not her broke, wannabe portrait-photographer husband who had yet to pull his camera out of the very expensive case he’d begged her to buy him for Christmas.

  Felix’s tummy growled.

  Her son never asked for anything apart from books. She turned away so he wouldn’t see the screwy face she made when she was fighting off tears. This was ridiculous, having to count the pennies for a bloody pastry. How on earth had things become so bad she’d turned her own son into a modern-day Oliver Twist? Or, for that matter, flew into a rage because her husband was taking a bath.

  ‘Sorry, love. I … can you just hang on a few more minutes? Charlotte’s making bacon sandwiches. You won’t starve. First-world problems, remember!’

  Rather than reply, Felix plopped down on the picnic bench, heaved his latest library book up onto his lap, threw a look of sheer longing in Charlotte’s direction, then cracked the book in half with a sigh and began to read.

  Freya strode over to the bath-house and was about to bash the door in when her fresh-faced husband flung it open with a big old goofy smile on his face. The one that had won her over that very first time Izzy had brought him back to Holly House.

 

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