by David Marcum
QUAYLE:Nor ever will see again. I may have mentioned last night that Cyril Tuttman was a great naturalist. Went places that aren’t on any map. Lived with aborigines, learned their lingo, and collected animals no scientist even knew existed. Exotic species of every kind.
WATSON:Well, why didn’t he place these in the British Museum? After all, that’s the greatest museum in the world.
QUAYLE:They wouldn’t have him.
WATSON:Why not?
QUAYLE:They said he couldn’t prove where he’d been, or that the specimens were authentic, just because he went by himself and paid for his expeditions with his own money! Wasn’t sponsored by any prestigious society or famous organization.
HOLMES:Mr. Tuttman is dead now, I take it?
QUAYLE:Died in ‘85. His estate provided a trust to run the museum and pay the expenses. I’ll stay on as long as I’m able. But after that... well, it’ll all be gone. Tuttman was no fool. He knew some sharp businessman would turn this into a sideshow. He often said, “I don’t want this to become a Tussaud’s with animals instead of celebrities”.
HOLMES:And you draw a salary from the trust, I presume?
QUAYLE:Yes, a modest salary.
HOLMES:You’ve been very kind, Mr. Quayle, to give us your time. Incidentally, whom do you think killed Mr. Voland?
QUAYLE:I have no idea. I don’t know how he got in the place or got out again. Or why he’d do such a thing. Bill Voland didn’t have an enemy in the world.
MUSIC:FAST, SHORT BRIDGE
MRS VOLAND:My husband didn’t have an enemy in the world. I can assure you of that, Mr. Holmes. We were married more than forty years... (BREAKS DOWN)... and he made friends wherever we went. He loved people and people loved him. That’s why he took the position as a docent in the museum. Not for the money. We had enough to live decently... (BREAKS DOWN)
HOLMES:(SYMPATHETIC) And had Mr. Voland been acquainted at all with Cyril Tuttman?
MRS VOLAND:Acquainted? He worked for him for years in the shipping business. Why, William wouldn’t have put in the time and effort that he did if it weren’t for his respect for Cyril Tuttman.
HOLMES:What sort of work did he do for Mr. Tuttman?
MRS VOLAND:He was his head accountant.
HOLMES:Then was it Mr. Tuttman himself who hired your husband as a guide?
MRS VOLAND:He wasn’t a guide, Mr. Holmes, he was a docent! He never took a penny for all the lectures he gave, every day. He knew more about the specimens in the collection than anyone except Cyril Tuttman himself!
HOLMES:How did he get on with Mr. Quayle?
MRS VOLAND:William never spoke much about him. Mr Quayle was in his office during the day, and William came in near the end of the afternoon to conduct his tours. And once a month he did the books.
MUSIC:UNDERCURRENT
WATSON:(NARRATING) Holmes and I left the Voland home and stood somberly at the curb, waiting for a hansom. Holmes had that absorbed, distant expression on his face that meant his mind was churning over the intelligence we now had accumulated. I waited patiently beside him. And then finally, as an empty cab approached, he said - without turning toward me-
HOLMES:This thing is more devilish than I thought. We have work to do tonight, Watson.
MUSIC STING AND UNDER
WATSON:He was silent as we rode to Baker Street. I made no attempt at conversation, for I could see that he was organizing our next moves. There was now an urgency in Holmes. Through the earlier parts of his investigation of the slaying at the Tuttman Gallery he had been concerned mainly with examining small details. But now he had formed them all together in his mind and was ready to bring his investigation to a close. When we arrived at Baker Street, Holmes immediately took his microscope from its case and set it up on the dining table. He removed the hair he’d taken from the gallery, pulled a hair from his own head, and placed them side by side between two glass slides, which he then clamped on the stage beneath the microscope’s lens. He twisted the focusing knob, and then held it still.
MUSIC:OUT
HOLMES:(PAUSE) Ah. Just as I thought. Come have a look, Watson.
SOUND EFFECT:WATSON MOVES TO THE TABLE
HOLMES:We must face it: William Voland was not murdered!
WATSON:What?
HOLMES:No. Murder is defined as one human being killing another. Mr. Voland was not killed by a human being.
WATSON:I thought that was what you were coming to. The animal footprints and all...
HOLMES:You can see the difference in the hairs. The one from Tuttman’s jungle exhibit is almost twice as thick as mine. It’s an animal hair, and there were many more of them.
WATSON:What kind of an animal?
HOLMES:The animal that brushed against the man-made trees and left his prints in the dirt doubtless is the animal that killed Mr. Voland.
WATSON:How can you be sure?
HOLMES:Remember that I could find no fuzz, no lint, no thread of material stuck to the trees? And yet the footprints indicated that someone - or some thing - had moved through the stand of trees and would have certainly brushed against the tree trunks?
WATSON:Yes?
HOLMES:There was no residue of cloth because the individual in the artificial forest wore no clothing. It was an animal, a large animal, large enough to have left its hair on the tree five-and-one-half feet off the ground. And it was strong enough to kill and rend a human body limb-from-limb in five minutes or less!
WATSON:But Holmes, I inspected the remains, as you know, and I found definite signs that something with a blade on it inflicted the fatal blow!
HOLMES:There is an order of ape, first discovered in Africa around forty years ago, that is quite large. Males can weigh over four-hundred pounds.
WATSON:The gorilla!
HOLMES:Precisely.
WATSON:But how would a gorilla get into a museum?
HOLMES:Only with human help. And that, we must discover... tonight.
MUSIC:STING
SOUND EFFECT:SCOTLAND YARD OFFICE NOISES (BACKGROUND)
GREGSON:A gorilla?
HOLMES:Yes, Inspector. The foot prints, the hairs on the tree bark, possibly the smell Bob Pyne mentioned, the brute force in the attack on Voland... they all point to a massive animal, an animal with opposable thumbs.
GREGSON:Opposable thumbs?
HOLMES:Even as you and I have. Makes it possible to grasp a weapon. All apes have them.
GREGSON:Well, it’ll be easy enough to find out if there’s a gorilla on the loose, which I doubt. But I’ll send a man to the London Zoo and see if they’re missing one.
HOLMES:I think I’d rather have Watson do that, while I’m occupied elsewhere for a while. Do you mind taking a trip to the zoo, Watson? You’ll know all the right questions to ask. When you’re done with that, meet me at Baker Street at six.
BACKGROUND FADES TO ZERO. FADE IN: ZOO BACKGROUND, GORILLA CAGE
KEEPER:Yes, sir, these are African gorillas. Their home is the rain forest of central Africa.
WATSON:What hideous monsters!
KEEPER:Well, it’s all in one’s point of view, I suppose. I always tell people, to a gorilla, a man looks frightening.
WATSON:You, eh... wouldn’t be missing one, would you?
KEEPER:Missing one? What do you mean?
WATSON:Did any of them ever get away?
KEEPER:(CHUCKLE) Oh, I see. No, they’re actually quite content here.
WATSON:These are the only ones you’ve had?
KEEPER:No, we’ve sold pairs of them to zoos in Berlin and Amsterdam.
WATSON:Pairs of them?
KEEPER:Gorillas are like you and me. They can get lonely. In their native habitat they live in groups. There’s alway
s a leader, who makes all decisions for the tribe... sees they’re safe from danger.
WATSON:What possible danger could a gorilla fear?
KEEPER:Well, some African tribes hunt them for food. The gorilla’s greatest enemy is man.
WATSON:I should think it would be the other way round.
KEEPER:No, no. These big fellows may look fierce, and they use their frightening appearance to scare off attackers, but in fact, they’re really quite gentle.
WATSON:They have hands, something like a human’s, so could a gorilla use a weapon?
KEEPER:We don’t really know. I suppose it’s possible.
WATSON:What do they eat?
KEEPER:In the wild, they’re herbivorous. They’ll eat fruit, leaves, and bark.
SOUND EFFECT:BACKGROUND FADES TO ZERO
(PAUSE)
SOUND EFFECT:MANTEL CLOCK STRIKES SIX. KNOCK ON THE DOOR. STEPS. DOOR OPENS
HOLMES:Ah, Watson. Prompt as always.
SOUND EFFECT:HE WALKS IN. DOOR CLOSES
WATSON:Yes. Well, no gorilla is missing from the zoo, and they aren’t fierce unless attacked. And they don’t eat meat.
HOLMES:Quite right. My mistake. I sent you on a fool’s errand.
WATSON:Then it wasn’t a gorilla that left that hair?
HOLMES:Oh yes, it was gorilla hair. But while you were at the zoo, I found out that the reconstruction at Cyril Tuttman’s place on Threadneedle Street was a bit more elaborate than merely turning a house into a museum. The place next door, where Mr. Quayle lives, was remodeled at the same tune. Quite a project, according to his neighbors. And so we are going back for another visit tonight... after the museum is closed. We will both take torches this time... and pistols.
MUSIC:STING
SOUND EFFECT:LONDON CITY BACKGROUND
HOLMES:Here we are. The alley door.
SOUND EFFECT:CANE RAPPING ON HEAVY DOOR
HOLMES:(LOW, EXTERIOR) Are you prepared, Watson?
WATSON:(LOW, EXTRERIOR) Prepared for what? You haven’t said a word to me since we started here!
SOUND EFFECT:DOOR UNLOCKED AND OPENED
PYNE:Eh? Who’s there?
HOLMES:Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson, Mr. Pyne.
PYNE:Oh, it’s you two. We’re closed for the night.
HOLMES:Yes, we know. Let us in, please.
PYNE:I can’t. It’s against the rules.
HOLMES:Ah, against the rules? Like stealing a dead man’s watch?
PYNE:(PAUSE) Come on in.
SOUND EFFECT:THEY DO COME INSIDE. DOOR CLOSES. CITY BACKGROUND OUT
PYNE:What do you want?
HOLMES:We want to go into the gallery again.
PYNE:All right, this way.
SOUND EFFECT:THREE MEN WALKING. STOP. ECHO THROUGHOUT SCENE. THREE MEN WALK IN, DOOR CLOSES
HOLMES:Now: Mr. Pyne. Besides this back door, and the door to the lobby, is there any other door to the gallery?
PYNE:No sir.
HOLMES:But of course there must be.
SOUND EFFECT:MOVING THROUGH THE JUNGLE
WATSON:Holmes! Look! Look at the statue of the spear-carrier! (EFFORT) The spear comes loose!
HOLMES:Yes. First thing I checked. Clean as a whistle. No sign of blood on it.
WATSON:Oh. Then exactly what are we looking for in this jungle?
HOLMES:A trap door in this artificial ground. A camouflaged exit.
WATSON:Are you sure we should be tramping around in here? Won’t we be destroying more footprints?
HOLMES:That doesn’t matter anymore. What does matter is finding a passageway out of this gallery. Ah!
SOUND EFFECT:STEPS STOP
HOLMES:Look!
WATSON:It’s a door in the wall!
HOLMES:Of course! I’d been looking in the wrong place!
SOUND EFFECT:HEAVY DOOR LATCH OPENED, DOOR ROLLS
WATSON:A stairway!
HOLMES:(CALLS) Mr. Pyne!
WATSON:Huh! Where did he get to? He was with us a minute ago.
HOLMES:I suspect he’s gone next door to report our presence to Mr. Quayle. Unless I am very much mistaken, this stairway goes to an underground passage between the museum and Quayle’s house. While I follow it, I want you to go back out of this jungle and wait for whatever I may scare into that passage! I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but be ready to escape into the locker room and bolt the door. And Watson... have your gun in hand and be prepared for anything!
WATSON:(Narrating) With that warning, Holmes disappeared through the side door and into the blackness beyond, while I backtracked through the man-made jungle. I skirted the small pond and planted myself some ten yards from the door in the back of the gallery. The only light was the dim blue of the night sky that came through the skylights. It grew still in the vast room. And then I decided it would be wise to make sure that the back door was unlocked, so I walked the thirty feet or so...
SOUND EFFECT:HE JIGGLES THE DOOR HANDLE
WATSON:(FLAT)... but it was locked from the other side!
SOUND EFFECT:HE TROTS ON DIRT (UNDER)
WATSON:(FLAT) My heart lurched. That door was supposed to be my escape route! I set out along the trail that wound through the trees and the strange animals posed among them, in mounting fear that I might have no way to get out if I had to! Why had the night watchman locked me in? Perhaps the front entrance was unlocked... yes, that had to be it. But when I got to the massive double doors that opened into the lobby...
SOUND EFFECT:HIS STEPS STOP. HE TRIES THE FRONT DOORS. LOCKED.
WATSON:(FLAT) It was locked! I was locked in!
SOUND EFFECT:HE HAMMERS ON THE DOORS
WATSON:(ECHO) Mr. Pyne! Unlock these doors!
WATSON:(FLAT) Then I listened in silence to hear any sign that the watchman had heard me, but there was nothing.
SOUND EFFECT:HE WALKS ON THE DIRT TRAIL (UNDER)
WATSON:(FLAT) All I could do was to follow Holmes’s orders and resume my post. It dawned on me that, whatever was to follow, Bob Pyne knew full well that he had me trapped in here.
SOUND EFFECT:STEPS STOP
WATSON:(FLAT) And then, I noticed a faint movement somewhere out of the corner of my eye. I stopped and scanned the jungle forest. Nothing moved. All was still. And then! There it was again! What caught my eye was a twinkle of stars reflected through the skylights into the water of the pond. There was a disturbance somewhere beneath the surface! The pond had been as flat as a mirror a minute before, but now there were ripples running across the surface! Were there fish in the pond? A bit of life in this gallery of the dead?
SOUND EFFECT:A SPLASH OF WATER IN THE POND
WATSON:(FLAT) Somewhere in the darkness beneath the trees, the sound of a body moved in the water! Now the ripples were ten inch waves travelling out of the blackness and lapping against the side of the pond, at my feet! Now the pond seemed to be rising! Something was plowing toward me through the water! I stepped back from the edge of the pond, the gun in my hand.
SOUND EFFECT:CROCODILE EMERGES, HISSING
WATSON:(FLAT) And then I saw it! The knobbed, leathery hide of the largest crocodile anyone had ever seen! It slithered up the side of the pond, its jaws spread three feet apart, its short legs driving its thrashing body directly for me! Aiming my gun with both hands, I fired into the monster’s gaping maw!
SOUND EFFECT:SEVERAL PISTOL SHOTS
WATSON:(FLAT) But the shots had no effect! It kept coming! I had only one chance of escape, and that was to run into the jungle forest and find the hidden door!
SOUND EFFECT:WATSON PLOWS THROUGH THE BRUSH (UNDER)
WATSON:(FLAT) The huge beast was crashing through the trees behi
nd me! I considered climbing one of them, but then remembered they were only stage scenery, too flimsy to support my weight! My torchlight played through the trees and threw shadows on the black wall. And then, with the fetid breath of the crocodile near enough to feel, part of the wall opened only ten feet ahead of me!
HOLMES:(OFF MICROPHONE) Watson! Here I am! Hurry!
SOUND EFFECT:WATSON CRASHES ONTO SOLID FOOTING AND THE DOOR CLOSES
WATSON:(GASPING WITH RELIEF) Holmes! It was a crocodile! The biggest one in the world!
HOLMES:Yes, I saw it go into the water in the cellar beneath Quayle’s house! He breeds them there, and he sent the brute through an underground canal into the gallery in search of fresh meat!
WATSON:I shot it five or six times and it still kept coming!
HOLMES:Well, if you didn’t finish it off, Inspector Gregson has armed men in Quayle’s house and they’ll attend to it. Now, if you’re up to it, let’s take this underground passage next door and join them.
MUSIC:CONCLUSION BRIDGE
GREGSON:I’m surprised at you, Mr. Holmes... using your old friend as crocodile bait!
HOLMES:Nothing of the kind, Inspector. When I discovered the secret passageway from the gallery into Quayle’s house, I expected to confront Mr. Quayle with my evidence and discover the beast he’d sent through the tunnel to kill Mr. Voland. I hadn’t counted on another tunnel... an underground canal!
WATSON:Yes! I thought you were preparing me to meet a gorilla!
HOLMES:And well you might have. That was what poor Voland saw, last night, as he was preparing to lock up.
WATSON:A gorilla?
HOLMES:Quayle, wearing a gorilla skin, complete with the feet!
WATSON:No!
GREGSON:Oh, yes. Hoped he’d frighten Voland to death. Didn’t work. Tried to strangle him. Didn’t work. Finally grabbed the spear and stabbed him instead.
WATSON:You’ll have to explain, I’m afraid. It’s not clear to me at all!
GREGSON:Mr. Holmes? You did most of the research,
HOLMES:As you know, Mr. Voland kept the books for the museum. He began finding substantial sums of money unaccounted for, which he traced to Quayle. Quayle feared arrest and disgrace, so he devised a plan to kill Voland.
GREGSON:He came through the passageway into the gallery last night in the gorilla costume, and waited for Voland to close the place up. He counted on the night watchman to be late as usual, so lie knew he’d have enough time to kill Voland.