‘Lola, I’m a detective – a pretty good one – and even I thought he was guilty. Sometimes you’ve got to wait for all the evidence.’
‘That reminds me, what’s going on with your tractor stuff?’
‘Oh, we got them last night,’ he says.
‘Oh, cool,’ I reply. ‘Wait, last night you were with me.’
‘Yeah, you needed my help,’ he says. ‘It’s no big deal.’
‘But wasn’t that your big bust?’
‘Lola, it’s no big deal.’ He takes a seat next to me.
‘You’re amazing,’ I tell him, resting my head on his shoulder. ‘The party is nearly over – you didn’t need to come.’
‘I know, but I said I would,’ he says. ‘Also … I need you to return the favour.’
I sit up again. ‘Oh, really?’
‘Yeah, my cousin is getting married this weekend,’ he says. ‘My sister asked me if I had a date for the wedding and I didn’t want her to think she’d wasted her money on you so I said yes. I was going to make up some excuse, like my date was ill … but then I remembered that she hasn’t met you in person, right? She told me she spoke to you on the phone?’
‘That’s true …’
‘And she refers to you as Linda.’
‘Yeah, my mum posted the advert on Facebook that she responded to.’
‘So …’ Dean stands up before getting down on one knee in front of me. ‘Will you be my date to this wedding? You won’t even need to use a fake name, if she thinks you’re called Linda.’
‘It would be my pleasure to be your fake wedding date,’ I reply.
Dean jumps up and grabs me for a hug, as though I’d just said yes to marrying him. With our faces just inches apart, we stare into each other’s eyes for a moment. I feel my breathing quicken as a knot forms in my stomach.
‘Lola, listen,’ Dean starts.
‘Oh, sorry,’ I hear Kim say. ‘Are you two …’
‘I’ll go get a drink,’ Dean says.
As Kim sits down next to me, I feel so guilty. I feel like she’s just caught me … but caught me doing what? Nothing. Then why do I feel so awful?
‘I’ve been thinking,’ she says when it’s just us two. ‘I don’t think Dean and I would work. You were right, I was just doing a Channy and taking your words too literally.’
‘Really?’ I ask.
‘Yeah, I don’t think he’s my type,’ she insists.
I wonder whether she’s only saying this because she just walked over to find us having a bit of a … of a what?! A moment? Was that a moment? I don’t know if she thinks she’s stepping aside so that I can move in, but I wish I could help her find someone. The perfect person for her.
Seeing how kind and generous Kim can be only goes to show how superficial my friendships in London are. Here she is, stepping aside for me. Gia only stepped aside so they could get my broken body off her dance floor.
As Kim pulls her phone out of her bag, I notice her green phone case. There’s something on the back, something I recognise …
I reach out and twist her phone in her hand so I can see the back of it.
‘Is that the Hulk?’ I ask, noting the large green man on the back.
‘Oh, erm, yeah,’ she says, sounding embarrassed. ‘Since I moved back home I’ve had a lot of time just sitting around in front of the TV, watching it with my dad while my mum is out. I know it’s not very cool but I’ve got super into Marvel movies. Avengers, Thor, Iron Man …’
‘Are you kidding?’ I ask.
‘OK, look, I know it’s not cool, but it could be worse,’ she says awkwardly.
‘No, I’m not making fun of you,’ I insist. ‘It’s great that you like Marvel because … One question: do you know what Thor’s hammer is called?’
‘Mjölnir,’ she says cautiously. ‘Why?’
‘OK, I have someone you need to meet,’ I tell her. ‘Come with me.’
I struggle to my feet and hop across the room to find Robbie. Perhaps I can return the favour with Kim. Maybe she’s just the nerd Robbie is looking for …
Chapter 39
My mum, having found a new lease of life on her post-party high, has really stepped up for me today. It’s Saturday, the day of Dean’s cousin’s wedding, and I have agreed to be his date.
I haven’t been feeling my usual, fabulous self, thanks to the big ugly cast on my leg and my inability to keep on top of my usual beauty regime, so my mum – or my fairy godmother as we’re calling her today – has solved all my problems. She’s done my hair for me. She actually curled it with hair straighteners after watching how-to videos on YouTube for at least forty minutes. She took me shopping to find a dress that hid my cast. She even bought me some cute little flower headbands, which she has customised into long daisy chains, to wrap around my crutches and make them all fancy.
I look so cool with my daisies and my flowing baby pink dress and my long blonde curls. It might just be because I haven’t dressed up properly since Gia’s wedding, but I feel so confident for it.
When Dean picked me up outside he said that I looked incredible but, then again, I suppose he hasn’t seen me dressed up all fancy before, so I was bound to look different.
His cousin, Kirsty, is getting married at a hotel in Chester. Dean says it’s exactly the kind of elaborate wedding venue you’d expect from someone who wanted to be a WAG. Harry, the man she’s marrying, is a semi-professional footballer, I’m told. Dean says he’s all right though, for a footballer, and that he makes his cousin happy.
Dean also casually informed me, on the drive over, that he has a room at the hotel if I need to go rest, but he also told me that he plans on staying sober all day so that he can drive me home after. I feel sort of bad that he can’t properly enjoy himself, but I’m sure I’d feel worse if I took his hotel bed and he wound up sleeping on the floor.
There was an accident on the M62 that made us a little late, so we had to rush straight into the room where the ceremony was and sit down. We made it just in the nick of time, before ‘Here Comes The Bride’ started playing. We probably would’ve been OK, but it takes me so long to get around on my crutches. My wheelchair might’ve been annoying and clumsy, but at least I was faster when other people were pushing me.
Now I’m at the reception and, I have to say, I’m having an amazing time. The venue is stunning – we’re in a big, old room with walls of twinkling lights and beautiful, classical music playing while we were eating. I’ve met lots of members of Dean’s family and everyone is so nice. I’d wondered to myself if perhaps his parents might be divorced, to see if that might shed any light on why he’s wound up so insistently single, but his parents have been married even longer than mine have.
Even his sister, Faye, who is sitting at the other side of me, has been married for eight years. She has two kids.
As far as Faye is concerned, I work in PR, live locally and broke my leg at a wedding – Dean keeps promising I won’t do that again this wedding, something everyone finds hilarious. You can tell that his entire family absolutely adores him. I’m seeing a whole new side to Dean today; he seems like a real family man. He’s dancing with his niece, wrestling with his nephew. I can’t for the life of me understand why he doesn’t want a family of his own.
‘Dean said you had your first date at Treasure Island,’ Faye says with an amused roll of her eyes. ‘So like my brother to take a girl to Treasure Island.’
‘He did,’ I say. I suppose he did. ‘I had a great time though.’
‘We used to have to drag him off the penny machines when he was a kid,’ she says. ‘Only seven-year-old in the bay with a gambling problem.’
‘I can believe that,’ I reply. ‘He got change for a tenner.’
‘All right, stop making fun of me.’ Dean laughs.
‘He’d better get used to it, hadn’t he?’ Faye says.
I suddenly remind myself that we’re not a real couple. It’s so easy to get caught up in all the love and fun of the wedd
ing. And Faye just seems so, so happy that her brother has found someone. She only wants good things for him and it’s sweet that she’s doing everything she can to make it happen.
‘If you’ll excuse me, ladies, I’ve promised my nephew I’ll take him outside to see the swans.’
‘You guys seem great together,’ Faye tells me. ‘Honestly, I probably shouldn’t be saying this but after the … I just never … Ahh.’
‘It’s OK,’ I tell her. ‘He told me all about the divorce.’
I might as well put her out of her misery. She’d probably only worry she’d let something slip or made him look bad otherwise.
‘Oh, phew,’ she says. ‘Honestly, Anna was awful. I didn’t really get a good vibe the first time I met her, but you put these things out of your mind for the people you care about, right?’
‘Totally,’ I agree.
So her name was Anna. I feel like I’ve heard so much about her. It’s weird to be able to put a name to her suddenly. It makes her seem more real.
‘I think he just loved her,’ she says. ‘I think it was easy for him to ignore the issues. Honestly though, if I’ve learned anything, it’s how important it is to have the talk about kids early on in a relationship, because if you can’t give the other person what they want, things get messy.’
‘Right,’ I agree.
So did Anna want kids but Dean didn’t? So she left him? I guess it really is important to have these conversations early on. I can’t say it’s a conversation I’ve ever had, but I’ve never had a relationship that lasted all that long anyway.
‘I’m not saying you guys need to have it tonight,’ she laughs. ‘Just, you know, Anna hurt him. It wasn’t just that she said she didn’t want kids … it was the fact that she divorced him for wanting them, immediately met someone else and got knocked up in a matter of months. That’s got to sting, right?’
Wow. I knew something must have happened to devastate him, but I had no idea it was that. How unbelievably awful, to tell the person you love that you want to have children, only for them to say that they don’t, leave you and then go on and have a kid with someone else.
‘It’s just awful,’ I agree, pretending I already knew this. Well, I did imply that I knew, and her heart was in the right place, talking to me about it. She just doesn’t want her brother getting hurt again.
‘So, what do you do?’ I ask her as I notice Dean heading back towards our table.
‘I’m a teacher,’ she says. ‘Oh, look, the boys are back.’
‘It turns out that little James here, who wanted more than anything in the whole wide world to see the swans, is now terrified of them,’ he tells us.
James hugs his uncle’s leg sheepishly.
‘I don’t blame you,’ I tell him. ‘I was a bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding, and she had a swan carry the rings. I was terrified of it.’
James, who can’t be more than four years old, steps out from behind Dean. He’s holding a buttercup in his hand, which he hands to me.
‘Is that for me?’ I ask.
James nods his head.
‘Wow, thank you so much,’ I tell him. ‘I’m going to keep it forever.’
‘Oh, look at that,’ Faye starts. ‘That’s my husband dangling our daughter by her ankles because she’s dripping with apple juice. I’ll be right back. In fact, I’ll take this little terror with me and clean him up before cake time too.’
‘You’re so cute with him,’ Dean tells me when we’re alone.
‘So are you,’ I reply. ‘You’d make such a wonderful dad.’
I hope I’m not laying it on too thick, but he absolutely would make an amazing dad, and reminding him will show him that this wasn’t all for nothing.
‘Thanks,’ he says, not showing a glimmer of emotion. ‘Everyone really likes you, you know. Everyone keeps telling me how great you are, how I’m punching above my weight, how I’ve caught myself a good one.’
‘That’s because they don’t know the truth,’ I point out. ‘A dating expert who can’t practise what she preaches, whose friends all dropped her the second she needed them, whose work forced her into taking time off because they didn’t think she’d look sexy in the office in a wheelchair – which I’m pretty sure is illegal. But they made it seem like it was for my own good, and my friends made out like they were just too busy, and as for the men I always seem to fall for, well, they are always the type of men who will convince you that you’re a bore for trying to lock them down.’
‘There’s a lot to be said for being locked down. You just have to make sure it’s with the right person. And you’re not a bore and your friends don’t sound like friends at all.’
I smile at him. He looks so amazing in his grey suit. It’s the first time I’ve seen him in anything other than denim, T-shirts and denim or leather jackets. He looks like he’s trimmed his beard even shorter than usual and his hair is neatly blown back. He scrubs up really, really well. I can’t get over how gentlemanly he looks.
He might look like a gentleman today but I suppose he’s always acted like one. I’m just starting to realise that.
‘For someone who insists on living the bachelor life, that’s a very sweet thing to say about the right person,’ I point out.
‘Well, when you’ve wasted so much time with the wrong person, you don’t want to make the same mistake again.’
For the first time, Dean, the big, strong, sexy policeman who is all charm and sarcasm seems vulnerable. He seems like he could be hurt. It makes complete sense to me, why he’s so scared to get into another relationship, and I don’t want to be the person who makes him feel like he needs to rush into it. There is no denying what an incredible boyfriend and/or husband he would make, but it has to be on his terms.
‘How are the cocktails?’ he asks me, changing the subject.
‘Pretty good,’ I reply. ‘How’s the orange juice?’
‘Pretty orangey,’ he replies with a grin before taking a meaningful sip.
I bite my lip as the cogs turn in my head.
‘Have a drink,’ I tell him. ‘Have a few. It’s not fair – that I get to drink and you don’t when this is your family’s party. We can stay here tonight. We can figure out sleeping arrangements later.’
‘We really don’t have to do that, Lola. I don’t need a drink to have fun. It’s just so nice to see everyone, play with the kids, hang out with you …’
God, it’s nice to hang out with him too. It really, really is.
‘I want to stay,’ I insist. ‘I’m having a really good time.’
‘Ladies and gentlemen, the bride and groom will be having their first dance now. Please welcome them to the floor,’ the DJ announces.
Harry and Kirsty take to the dance floor to perform a suspiciously ambitious routine to ‘Hello’ by Adele. Honestly, do couples not listen to the lyrics of songs before deciding they are romantic? I’m not sure if this is better or worse than ‘Careless Whisper’ being my parents’ song.
‘Weird choice of song,’ Dean whispers to me. ‘Not very romantic.’
‘I was just thinking the exact same thing.’
As other couples join them on the floor, Dean asks me if I want to dance.
‘Me?’ I squeak.
‘No, the fake girlfriend behind you – yes you.’
‘There’s something I need to tell you,’ I start seriously. ‘I have a broken leg.’
Dean laughs. He looks so gorgeous when he laughs.
‘I know that,’ he replies pointlessly. ‘But I’ll carry you onto the floor and I’ll hold you while we dance. To “Hello”, by Adele, the queen of the break-up ballad. Singing a song that could definitely be interpreted as being about trying to reconnect with an ex.’
‘Sounds perfect,’ I say.
As Dean scoops me up in his arms – seriously, as an adult, you think you’ll never be carried again and these days I feel like everyone is carrying me – a few people notice and begin cheering and applauding. I tense up in his
arms, terrified that the bride will be fuming at us for pinching the attention, but Kirsty just smiles over at us. She seems so in love and so happy. It just goes to show that for most people the love is the most important part of the wedding day, not the dress or the food or what kind of animal you can get to carry your rings without swallowing them or breaking anyone’s arm with their beak. And it certainly isn’t a day for feeling like someone having a painful accident is an act of sabotage, nothing more than a thinly veiled attempt to steal the limelight.
I exhale deeply as I melt into his arms.
‘This is nice,’ I say. ‘This is just … really nice.’
‘Hey,’ Dean says.
I lift my head and look into his eyes. I wonder if he’s trying to look into my soul like he always does, but he closes his eyes and plants his lips on mine. We kiss for a few seconds, until Adele reaches the climax of the song. We finally part again once it’s over.
‘Wow …’ I mutter.
Dean just grins at me.
It was an amazing kiss that sent shockwaves through my body. I can’t help but wonder, is this a kiss for show, or because he wanted to kiss me? It certainly felt like a real kiss, and it felt like more than just a kiss – there was so much that came with it, feelings I don’t even know how to process. You don’t feel feelings like that from a show kiss, do you? And now all I can think about is doing it again, not just to check if it was real but because I’ve never felt anything like it in my life.
Chapter 40
This has honestly been the best wedding I have ever attended. Ever. And Ed Sheeran did a set at Gia’s.
I may have come here under false pretences and I might not know anyone, but I’ve had the most incredible day with Dean. He’s been charming, attentive, he’s brought me drinks, helped me dance (well, a version of dancing at least). And then there was that kiss … When I think about it, I swear I can still feel his beard tickling my lips. Whether it was for show or for real, it felt real for me. Just … wow. I want to do it again, all night, maybe even for the rest of my life, it was that good.
Make or Break at the Lighthouse B & B Page 20