‘Dean, you are an incredible man. You deserve a family of your own and there will be someone out there who wants to start one with you; you just need to let them in. You were so quick to push me away …’
Even now, sitting at the table together, it feels like we’re sitting miles apart. I don’t know if it’s my imagination, but it seems like Dean is leaning back in his chair. I start to feel like I’m getting somewhere, but it’s like he’ll never quite let me close enough.
‘Because I don’t know who or what I can trust,’ he says. ‘I don’t know what’s real – I thought my marriage was real. I don’t want to get back into anything unless I know it’s real.’
‘But you can’t know that until you do it,’ I tell him. ‘I know you’re scared, but you need to take a leap at some point. Date someone – it’s not that bad. Take a look around you, at all these couples. Being in a relationship with someone is just stuff like this, going for dinner, hanging out together. OK, sure, every now and then you help them out because you care about them, and you’ll wind up at a few family parties but, seriously, Dean, it’s not that bad. It’s actually really, really nice.’
For a moment, Dean just laughs. He laughs and shakes his head in disbelief before massaging his temples.
‘What?’ I ask.
‘All that stuff you just said,’ he starts, leaning forwards in his chair.
‘Yeah?’
‘You just described us,’ he points out. ‘Hanging out, going to dinner, doing each other favours, going to family parties together … That’s what we’ve been doing. Have we been dating?’
‘Oh … well, yeah, kind of … I suppose we have, yeah.’
‘Huh,’ he says thoughtfully.
‘Has it been awful?’
‘No, it’s been kind of great,’ he says. ‘Happiest I’ve been in a long time.’
‘Well, I guess that’s because there’s been no pressure or expectation. I didn’t realise we’d been dating either.’
‘I thought you were working,’ he says.
‘Dean, I think pretty much from the second the Pirates scored their first try, I stopped working and started just having fun. You were there for me through Will, through my parents’ drama, helping with my leg stuff … You binned off your big work bust for me!’
‘Well, yeah, because you’re more important to me,’ he says. ‘I can’t believe how important you are to me.’
‘Well … do you want to keep dating?’ I ask. ‘Because I’m definitely moving back here.’
Dean reaches forwards and takes my hand. On a chilly night like tonight, I feel the warmth that comes from him more than ever.
‘I’d like that,’ he says with a smile. ‘So, you’re going to quit your job and start again back up here?’
‘Yeah, I might start my own business, or I might try something else. I hear there’s a lot of really boring crimes that need solving.’
‘One of these days something awful is going to happen in Marram Bay and you’re going to feel really guilty.’
I laugh. I highly doubt anything bad is going to happen here.
‘So … we’re dating?’ I ask.
‘We’re dating,’ he says. ‘I can’t wait to tell my sister – and mean it this time. Finally have her stop sticking her nose into my business.’
‘Is that the only reason you’re doing this?’ I ask. ‘Because I’m only doing it to meet your dog.’
‘I’ve heard of worse reasons for couples being together,’ he replies.
Our waiter approaches and places our drinks down. He nervously removes a pad from his pocket, ready to take our order.
‘It’s OK,’ I reassure him. ‘We’re friends again.’
‘More than friends,’ Dean adds.
I can’t believe we’ve been technically dating all this time and neither of us noticed. I suppose we were just having a good time and that’s all that matters really. Sure, it’s important to want the same things in the future, but you talk about it and you figure out what you want to do as a team when the time is right.
Maybe Dean and I have a future together, with marriage and babies and even more dogs – I would love that – but now isn’t the time to put our names down for it. It’s about growing our relationship together and seeing where it takes us.
A wise man once said that, when you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start straight away. That’s all that matters. Starting our life together and seeing where it takes us.
Chapter 44
‘I love you so much, I don’t ever want to leave you,’ I say in a sickly sweet voice. ‘Who is the most handsome boy in the world? You are, yes you are.’
‘I feel like a third wheel,’ Dean says as I scratch Rufus the Labrador’s ears.
I spent the night at Dean’s house last night and, while it was an amazing end to a wonderful Valentine’s Day to spend the night with him, I have to admit, I am a little bit in love with his dog.
I reluctantly say goodbye to Rufus, content that I’ll be seeing a lot more of him, and I get into Dean’s car so that he can drive me home – to my new home, which is actually my old home. I thought it was going to be weird, moving back in with my parents, but since I arrived back in Marram Bay, drama aside, I’ve never been happier. Especially now. I am so deliriously happy now.
Some chatter comes in over the police radio in Dean’s car. I don’t know what it means. It sounds like it’s in code. I don’t know. I wasn’t really paying much attention.
‘Oh no, has someone’s lawn grown too long for the Neighbourhood Watch?’ I ask sarcastically.
Dean looks at me gravely. ‘No, this is serious.’
‘Oh?’
‘In fact, I’m going to take you there. I think you need to see that, sometimes, scary stuff is going down in this little town, and people like me are the only thing keeping you safe.’
My eyebrows shoot up. Gosh, I was only kidding. I don’t want putting in actual danger just because I don’t know when to let go of a joke.
‘Carole, it’s DC Gardner here, how many of them did you say?’
‘Nine of them,’ she replies.
‘I’ll take this one. I’m in the area, maybe two minutes away.’
‘Are … are you sure?’
‘Yes.’
Nine of them? And we’re going alone? Even the woman on the radio seemed shocked at the idea of Dean going alone – and she doesn’t even know he’s got me with him.
Dean hits a button in his car that turns on blue flashing lights and a siren. I didn’t even realise this car had them; they’re sort of hidden.
After a minute of fast driving down a quiet country lane, Dean turns the siren off.
‘We’re approaching the scene,’ he says. ‘Time to be covert – we don’t want to spook them, not if there’s nine of them.’
‘What?!’
Dean pulls up behind some trees and gets out of the car. He runs around to my side and opens my door for me.
‘Come on,’ he says.
‘No way,’ I reply. ‘I get it, we have scary gangs here. I don’t need to get killed today.’
‘Lola, I’m not leaving you alone here – come on.’
Suddenly scared to be left alone, I get out of the car.
Dean sneaks back around to the boot and gets something out.
‘Here, put this on,’ he says placing something over my head.
‘What is it?’ I whisper back.
‘It’s a stab-proof vest,’ he tells me. I shoot him a look. ‘You were right; you don’t need to get killed today. Now, follow me.’
‘Dean, I am on crutches,’ I remind him.
‘It’s OK,’ he whispers back. ‘We’ll go slow.’
Unsure what else to do, I hop along behind him. Dean slows down as we approach a road to turn a corner. As we do he stops dead in his tracks.
‘Carole was wrong,’ he says. ‘There’s at least twelve of them.’
I catch him up and br
ace myself for what we’re about to be confronted with, only to see twelve geese blocking the road, and three cars’ worth of traffic parked behind them.
‘Oh, you bloody idiot,’ I say, laughing with relief. ‘Are we here to move some geese?’
‘Yes,’ he says. ‘You’re right, nothing awful ever happens here.’
‘So, the stab-proof vest?’
‘Oh, no you need that,’ he insists. ‘Geese can be pretty angry, and their beaks are really strong. I’ve been pecked before.’
He says the last part as though he were a soldier recalling an old war story.
‘I suppose I don’t mind, that you’re the world’s most boring policeman,’ I tell him. ‘I’d rather you had rubbish stories about getting pecked by geese if it means you’re safe.’
‘Aww, Lola, I didn’t know you cared,’ he says as he leans in to kiss me.
One of the drivers stuck in the traffic jam holds their hand down on their horn, causing us both to jump out of our skin. The geese, however, don’t move an inch.
‘Oops.’ Dean laughs. ‘I’d better go do this. Maybe you should wait here, ma’am, where it’s safe.’
‘Oh, I certainly will, Officer.’
I watch Dean as he chases the geese around the road, trying to get them to move out of the way. He looks so funny, and not policeman-like at all.
I smile to myself as I think about how the rest of my life is starting today. Well, only if Dean survives the angry goose that is chasing him …
Did you love Lola’s story? If so you won’t want to miss Summer Secrets at the Apple Blossom Deli, where Lily Holmes looks for a fresh start in beautiful Marram Bay. Available now!
Click here if you’re in the US
Click here if you’re in the UK
Acknowledgements
Massive thanks to my editor, Abi, and the HQ Digital team for all of their hard work with this book.
Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read and review my books – without you, I wouldn’t still be doing this.
Thank you so much to all my family and friends for all of their constant love and support. Thank you to the fantastic Lynsey, the Blair to my Serena. Shout-out to the wonderful Rebecca and Belinda, my Aussie beauties. Thanks to Kim and Aud for always being incredible. Thanks to Joey and James for being the best, I don’t know what I’d do without you. Finally thank you to my fiancé (I can’t believe I get to say that!) Joe, for absolutely everything. I love you all.
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Read on for an extract from Summer Secrets at the Apple Blossom Deli …
Chapter 1
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Well, that’s what the dog-eared copy of The Guide to New Beginnings currently poking out of my handbag on the front seat has been trying to convince me.
The last month has been a bit of a blur. It feels like just yesterday I was sitting at my desk, mindlessly yet happily going through the motions when one of my bosses perched on the corner of my desk, offered me a new job in a different location and, before I knew what I was doing, I said yes. A more exciting role in the company and a pay increase appealed, of course, but more than anything it was the chance to take my 8-year-old son out of life in inner-city London and raise him in a cute little coastal village up north. I’ve been worrying about a few things recently and getting out of the city seemed like the best solution – the only solution, really.
I was born and raised in Croydon, only moving closer to central London as I got older. My son Frankie has never known anything other than life in central London, living in a small flat, catching the tube to school every day. This isn’t the life I want for him though. I want him to grow up in a small town, in a close community. Somewhere with scenery and fields with real grass, away from the pollution and commuting to school on busy trains, overflowing with unfriendly people.
I love my city and I’m proud of my roots, but after living here for all of my thirty-one years on this planet so far, now just feels like the right time to leave and try somewhere new.
I’ve always liked the idea of a fresh start. When I was much younger I would look forward to New Year’s Eve because to me, starting a new year felt like starting a new chapter of my life. I used to start each year with a brand-new notebook, a diary of my thoughts. It’s been a long time since I did that though, what with taking on more and more work as the years have ticked away – and being a single mum doesn’t exactly allow for much free time. That’s all going to change now though.
As well as the self-help book I’ve been reading to help me prepare, I also have a new Moleskine notebook ready for me to document my journey in just like I used to. I might not have my usual backdrop of fireworks and ‘Auld Lang Syne’ to thrust me into my new beginning, but as the journey up north progresses, the concrete jungle we’re so used to has slowly but surely transitioned to fields of green and wide open space, and it is exactly the breath of fresh air I’ve been gasping for.
I’m too busy taking in the scenery to remember to change gear at a junction so the car stalls, giving us a jolt strong enough to wake Frankie up.
‘Mum,’ he whines sleepily.
I glance at him in my rear-view mirror and watch him rub his tired eyes.
‘Sorry, kiddo,’ I say. ‘Your mum isn’t used to driving a manual.’
Frankie doesn’t need me to tell him that; this isn’t the first time I’ve messed up with the gears today. Well, living in the city centre, I’ve never needed a car, so I haven’t driven one in years. The only car I have driven occasionally – my mum’s – is an automatic. Still, it was so nice of my bosses to give me a company branded VW Beetle to drive up here in and use as a run-around, even if it is an offensive shade of lime green. They’ve also rented us a cottage that looked positively picturesque in the photos they showed me. It feels weird, moving here without having visited, but everything happened so quickly. I’m sure there was time to do things properly, to come and scope the place out and make sure it was everything I hoped it would be, but I just really wanted to get out of town so that Frankie could start the new school year with everyone else – well, that’s what I told them, at least.
‘Are we there yet?’ Frankie asks for the first time. I’m proud of him, for being so well behaved. Most kids would go bananas during a long car journey but my boy has only started to grow impatient in the last thirty minutes.
‘We are,’ I tell him excitedly, although I can’t help but notice that he doesn’t seem as pumped as I am. ‘You excited?’
‘I guess,’ he replies. ‘It’s gonna be weird.’
‘It’s gonna be amazing,’ I remind him. ‘I know you’ll miss your school and your friends, but you’re going to make new friends, you’re going to go to a much better school. We’re going to live in a big house and there will be fields where you can play, and we can walk to the beach – every day, if you’d like.’
‘There’s no McDonald’s,’ he tells me in a smart tone, as though he’s sure I already knew that. In truth, I did already know that there wasn’t going to be a McDonald’s nearby, and that we were going to have to travel thirty miles to get my son a fix of his favourite chicken nuggets. Apparently, no matter how hard I try, I just can’t make them as ‘good’ as McDonald’s can.
‘There is a McDonald’s just a short drive away,’ I tell him. It might not be the same as London, where there’s a Maccies on every corner, but it’s going to be fine. ‘You’re going to have everything you had in London, plus more.’
‘Sam said he’s been before to visit his nan and granddad, and he said it was boring,’ Frankie informs me.
‘Where?’ I ask curiously, although I’m pretty sure his fourth favourite friend from school isn’t the right person to be taking this kind of advice from.
‘The north,’ he replies.
I can�
�t help but laugh.
‘The north is pretty big, kiddo. And maybe it was boring because he was visiting his grandparents’ house – grandparents are boring.’
‘Viv isn’t boring,’ Frankie insists.
‘No, she certainly isn’t,’ I reply.
My mum, Vivien, isn’t at all grandma-ish – she won’t even let Frankie call her Gran, she says she looks too young, and, in her defence, she does. She’s always been conscious of showing her age, insisting I call her Viv instead of Mum. She puts her all into being a cool grandparent and, to be fair, she’s great at it. She was a cool mum too, much to my embarrassment. It’s going to be weird, not being just a short train ride away from her.
After driving through nothing but green fields and dry stone walls for a while, Marram Bay is suddenly visible in the distance.
There are two ways we can go; one of them seems the right way, but the satnav insists we go the other, so I stick to what the map tells me and head for the town centre.
‘We’re here, kiddo,’ I announce.
‘It looks boring,’ Frankie says with a sigh.
At the start of the trip he seemed excited. In fact, I think we spent the first hour of the journey singing along to the radio.
To try and distract my son, I flick the radio back on.
‘… and I’m sure you’ll all be pleased to hear that Rufus the Labrador is safely back at home now. And that completes today’s breaking news,’ a voice on the radio says. I make eye contact with Frankie in my rear-view mirror. He looks just as confused as I do.
‘We’ll be finishing the show earlier today, to join in with the festivities on the front. Tune in tomorrow to hear all about it. Ta-ra.’
‘So I’m guessing that’s the local radio station,’ I laugh. ‘Wanna go check out the festivities?’
Frankie sighs.
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