“We’re just watching Home Alone.” She bent down and picked up the present.
“First or second one?”
“Lost in New York.”
“That’s my favorite.”
She looked at the present for a moment before her eyes lifted to me. “What’s this?”
My shoulders continued to become blanketed with snow, but the cold suddenly didn’t bother me when I looked at the warmth in her eyes. “A Christmas gift. I meant to give it to you yesterday, but it slipped my mind…with all that pie in my stomach.”
She chuckled then walked down the sidewalk toward me, her boots making a line in the thin layer of snow as she came toward me. “You already got me those French chocolates—which were delicious, by the way.”
“I know, but I wanted to get you something. You’re the reason I’m…you know.” My mom pushed me and arranged most of it, but Sicily was the one who made the path much easier, made everything convenient so I wouldn’t find an excuse to stop. And she said the right things to make me brave, to make me motivated, to make me hate myself less.
She watched me, the warm breath escaping her little nose and rising into the dry air between us. The look lingered, her eyes still bright even though the Christmas lights were behind her. “Well, thank you.” She looked down and started to rip through the paper.
“I know it’s not a nice wrap job, but…”
She chuckled and stuffed everything into her pockets. “I’m touched that you wrapped it yourself and didn’t put it into a gift bag.”
“A gift bag. Why didn’t I think of that?”
She laughed harder then opened the white box. The light pink scarf was there with the designer logo since I knew she liked to wear nice things. I thought the color would be perfect on her, to go with one of the big coats she wore to work and hung by the doorway. She reached inside and looked at it, felt it with her fingertips. “It’s beautiful.” She pulled it out of the box before setting the container on the snow beside her.
“Yeah? I’m glad you like it.”
She wrapped it around her neck, bundling herself up. “I love it. Thank you, Dex.”
I slid my hands into the pockets of my coat as I looked at her cuteness, the way she could shift from being a sexy lady in heels to this adorable, cute…thing.
She stared back, her smile slowly fading.
I continued to look at her instead of taking my cue to leave. It was Christmas night, so she probably had plans with her family, but I continued to take up more of her time, time that I didn’t deserve. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.”
I turned to step away. “I’ll let you get back to your family—”
“Dex.”
I pivoted back.
She was closer to me now. “Are you doing alright?”
“Never better.” I went to my usual scapegoat, pretending I was a happy guy with a big-ass smile on my face. I thought compensating with jokes and laughter would throw people off my scent, but the people who knew me best seemed to know exactly what I really felt, underneath the mask. Going through this pain had taught me so much about human emotion, how the people who smiled the brightest were sometimes in the most pain, and we should always be kind to everyone we interacted with because you had no idea what battle they were fighting.
She crossed her arms over her chest, bringing her coat tighter around her body. “The holidays can be hard sometimes.” As if she understood exactly what I was thinking and feeling without my even having to say it, she made me feel better. “I had planned on bringing Vince to meet my parents for Christmas, and that blew up in my face. It’s a bit embarrassing, telling your mother you’re bringing a man home, and then having to tell her he’s married to someone else…or was.”
“I’m sorry…”
“I’m over it,” she said quickly. “I don’t think about him anymore. I just think about how stupid and naïve I was. That’s what bothers me.”
“Don’t beat yourself up, Sic.”
A gentle smile crept on to her lips as she looked up at me. “Don’t beat yourself up either.”
My mind suddenly felt less heavy, my skin warm, my lungs relaxed and comfortable. Christmas was a time for peace on earth, but she was the one who delivered it to me. She was the one looking at me now, like she understood me better than anyone in the world. There were a lot of things that came across my mind that I wanted to say, but I didn’t say a single one and chose to keep them to myself. Somehow, it felt nice not saying anything at all, just looking at her in that warm scarf.
“You want to come inside?”
I was snapped out of the moment by the question. “No, that’s okay. You should spend time with your family.”
“I’ll still be spending time with them—with you. Besides, a fresh pie just came out of the oven.”
I inhaled a deep breath. “Fuuuuck, how am I supposed to say no to that?”
She smiled then hooked her arm through mine. “Come on.”
“What kind?”
“Dutch apple.” She grabbed the box from the ground then walked with me to the front door, hand in the crook of my arm.
“Oh, baby, you’re killing me.”
She chuckled. “And then we just made a pumpkin a couple minutes ago—”
I sprinted to the front door.
She laughed loudly, her hand moving to her stomach as she bent over slightly. “Wow, a way to a man’s heart really is through his stomach.”
9
Sicily
The holidays ended, and it was back to the fast-paced life of the city. Dex had a million patients to get through, his surgeries were booking further and further in advance, and now we were working half days on Saturdays.
Dex’s schedule was hectic, juggling all of his different roles and having very little time to himself. He somehow squeezed in time to hit the gym every day, which was insane considering how tired he was by the end of the day.
The housecleaner just finished with her cleaning in his apartment, and I put all his groceries away. I didn’t spend a lot of time in his apartment other than when I delivered things and changed out his flowers. Sometimes he got packages, so I opened those and placed them where I imagined they would go, but I never went through his things.
But I did wonder if he still had that picture of his ex-wife.
It was none of my business, and I shouldn’t care.
But I hoped he realized she was a bitch and tossed it out.
I thought this place would feel cozier if he had pictures of his family since he was close with them, so I asked his mother for photos and set them up around his apartment, putting them on the table behind one of the couches, hanging them on the wall, filling the place with good memories.
The doorknob turned, and Dex stepped inside, in his typical jeans and hoodie. The only time he ever looked like a doctor was when he was in his scrubs, and the rest of the time, he kept it really casual.
It was one of the things I loved about him.
He didn’t give a damn what anyone thought of him.
He gave me a smile when he spotted me, not the least bit put out that I was in his apartment after the long day he had at the research facility. “What are you still doing here?” He carried his bag to the couch and set it on the cushion, like he intended to sit in front of the TV and work on paperwork for the rest of the night.
“I wanted to put up these pictures before you came home.” I picked one up and flipped it around, showing him holding his two nephews.
He grinned as he came closer, his eyes locked on the photo. “Aren’t these kids the cutest things you’ve ever seen?” He took the frame in his hand and examined it, like he hadn’t seen the photo in a while.
I loved how affectionate he could be, how playful, how warm. It wasn’t typical for a guy, especially of his caliber. He was masculine but also sweet—when did that ever happen? “I think so.” But I thought the guy in the middle holding the two kids was cuter, not that I would ever
say it.
He moved around the couch to look at the other pictures, including the photo of him and his dad in front of the Christmas tree that his mother took on Christmas Eve. He looked at it for a while, his eyes softening for a moment. “These are nice.”
“I thought they would make your apartment feel a little warmer.”
“Yeah, the moody sculptures aren’t quite my style, but they’re cool.” He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge.
“Well, I’ll get out of your hair—”
“Wait, I want to talk to you about something,” he said from the fridge. “You want a beer?”
My heart immediately raced at the invitation. “Sure.”
He came back with both beers, both caps twisted off, and handed me one.
“What’s up?” I asked after I took a drink.
He sat on the arm of the couch, his knees wide apart, his hard body stretching his sweater, outlining his biceps, triceps, and all the other ceps he had. “I’m running out of money.”
That was not what I expected him to say, so I stared at him blankly. “Uh, what?” I processed his billing, and he was definitely not running out of money. In fact, he was balling. After seeing a couple high-profile patients, his piggy bank wasn’t empty anymore.
“My charity fund. I’m seeing more underprivileged patients than I used to, so I’m draining the cash quick. Pretty soon, it’ll hit zero, and I’ll have to turn patients away.”
“Shit. What are we going to do?”
“Shit that I hate doing. Publicity.”
“Meaning?”
“I need to give some speeches, some interviews, attend galas. A bunch of annoying crap like that.” He rolled his eyes before he took a drink and set the bottle on his thigh. “It’s the most effective way to get more donors. I already had a lot who supported my work, but I’m just seeing so many patients now that the funds can’t keep up with me. So, we’ve got to get more.”
I usually had ideas about everything, but right now, I was drawing a blank. “I’ve got to be honest, Dex. I don’t even know where to get started.” How did I schedule these interviews? Who did I contact?
“Oh, don’t worry about it. Talk to Emerson. She handles all of that for Derek, so she can give you some good pointers. She’d be happy to help.”
Oh, right. He was an author…and a famous rocket scientist. “Great. I’ll reach out to her so we can get on that ASAP.”
“Great.” He took another drink of his beer as he looked at me. “Got plans tonight?”
I shook my head. “Just gonna order sushi and watch TV.”
He nodded in approval. “Not a bad plan.”
“What about you?”
“Just gonna sit on the couch and work. I should hit the gym, but I’ve just got too much shit to do.”
He seemed to work as much as I did now. “You want me to grab you some dinner?”
“No,” he said quickly. “I know today is grocery day, and I’m still working off all those pies I ate….
“If it makes you feel any better, you can’t tell.” At all. The guy was just as ripped as always.
“Maybe you can’t tell from the outside, but I can definitely feel it at the gym. When I stop working out for more than two days, I’m so out of shape, it’s ridiculous. A two-hundred-pound bench feels like a thousand pounds, and the treadmill is torture.”
Yeah, I didn’t work out at all. Like, ever.
“What about you?”
“What about me?” I asked.
“Your fitness routine. Do you just run or…?”
“You think I work out?” I asked incredulously. “Well, that’s very flattering, but no. Not my thing.”
“Really?” he asked in surprise. “So, you just look like that naturally?” He looked me up and down as he took another drink.
I was pretty certain he just complimented my figure, and I did my best not to let my cheeks redden and reflect the way I felt about it. “I guess.”
“Don’t tell anyone that,” he said with a chuckle. “People will despise you.”
No one had ever asked me about my workout routine, so I was safe. “Then I’ll get out of your hair. Have a good night.” I’d barely had a couple sips of the beer before I had to pour it out in the sink and head to the door. It would be easy just to invite myself on to the couch and linger, but I tried to make sure I never overstepped my boundaries with him. Yes, we were friends, but he was still my boss, and Cleo told me it was important to respect his private space as much as possible. Home was a sanctuary to people, the one place where they should be able to be inaccessible. If he wanted to talk at the office, that was one thing, but I couldn’t get chummy on his couch.
He walked me to the door. “I’ll see you in the morning, then.”
“Sure thing. I’ll have your breakfast and schedule on your desk at the hospital, and then I’ll see you later before you’re done for the day.” On his surgery days, I didn’t see him much. I used to purposely meet him before surgeries to ease his anxiety, but now that he felt comfortable, he didn’t really need my support anymore.
“Alright. Goodnight, Sicily.”
“Goodnight.” My look lingered longer than it should have before I forced myself to step out of his apartment without looking back. I walked down the hallway, heels tapping against the carpeted hallway. When I reached the elevator, I heard his door close.
I turned back around, wondering if he’d been staring at me that entire time.
I took a trip out to New Jersey, where Derek’s facility was. I met Emerson in her office, which was full of pictures of them together everywhere, their kids, and a couple with Derek and his rockets, candid photos of him in the control room at a launch, a collage of his career.
The pictures told me that she not only loved him, but she was also so proud of him.
Reminded me of the way I felt about Dex.
“Thanks so much for giving me some help,” I said as I sat in the chair facing her desk. “When Dex asked me to do this, I realized I have absolutely no idea where to start.” I hadn’t worked with Cleo long enough to learn any pointers from her either.
“No problem at all.” She sat behind her desk, and on the corner facing me was a photo of Lizzie and her two little brothers. They were seriously the cutest family ever. “I’m happy to do everything I can to help you, and by extension, Dex. He’s such a good guy. When I met him the first time, I instantly liked him. He’s great.”
“Yeah, he’s the best.” I spat out my feelings immediately because he really was an angel on earth. I wasn’t religious, but he made me religious, made me believe God was working through him to help people.
Her eyes softened as she looked at me. “You remind me of myself.”
“Well, that’s a compliment.” Because she was gorgeous and smart, friendly.
She chuckled. “Because you’re passionate about your job and your boss, the way I was when I started working with Derek. Except…Derek was kind of an ass, and he was an ass for a long time.”
“No way,” I said, genuinely surprised.
“Yes way. But he came around.”
“Well, Dex is pretty perfect.” It was awkward when the whole picture frame thing happened, but we moved past it. Sometimes he barked at me when we butted heads over work stuff, but it wasn’t personal. Five minutes later, it was like it never happened.
She gave me a smile. “He is. Alright, let’s get started. I think he would do really well with a TED Talk, talking about his work in surgery, what it took to get there, his values. There are a lot of eyeballs on that program, and potential donors could see that. I have the contacts to make that happen. I also think it would be really fun to do a documentary where people follow him around, like on a streaming platform or something.”
“You think that’s even possible?”
“Definitely. Derek was offered one once, but he rejected the idea…even though I tried my hardest to change his mind. With the way entertainment is now, people are always
looking for new content, and Dex’s career and philosophy are fascinating.”
“Yeah, true. But a documentary would take a while, and we need money ASAP.”
“Which is why we’ll need to do some guest appearances soon, and then maybe a charity dinner. Don’t worry, I’ve got some great ideas, so we’ll make it happen.” She pulled out her notebook and started to go through them. “We’re going to make that charity fund so big that he’ll be able to take care of everyone.”
When we were about finished, the door to the office opened and Derek walked inside.
And just like his brother, he was in a hoodie and jeans.
Must run in the family.
He didn’t seem to notice me because his eyes were focused on the woman behind the desk. “Baby, everything alright?” He walked farther inside and came around the desk, his thick shoulders stiff and in place.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?” She grabbed her phone and checked the screen. “Oh, sorry. My phone is on vibrate.” She rose to her feet to greet him. “What’s up?”
“You had Francine bring lunch instead, and I wasn’t sure why.” His dark eyes burned into her face, still accusatory, like the momentary fear still had him by the throat.
Her hand moved to his chest, and her eyes softened. “Just busy, babe. Helping Sicily with some publicity stuff for Dex. I guess his charity fund is running low, and they’re trying to raise funds quickly.”
Derek turned to me, and his intense gaze immediately evaporated. “Sorry, I didn’t even see you there. How are you?”
“Good. And don’t worry about it.” It was actually really sweet to watch him walk in there and only care about his wife, so focused on her that nothing else in the world mattered. His priorities were as clear as words on a page, and it was obvious that she was his whole world, along with their kids. That kind of love and commitment was so…beautiful. I was a bit envious. “It’s nice to see you.”
“You too,” Derek said. “Dex still won’t shut up about the pie.”
I chuckled. “I know. I hear about it all day at the office.”
The Doctor Who Has No Closure (Soulless Book 10) Page 10